Title: The Baby

Word count: ~600

Rating: PG

Beta: OhSlashy (THANK YOU)

Note: This is a bit weird and slightly cracky!

Alexander stared openly as the nurse separated the woman's legs and the doctor stared between them. He'd never seen a baby being born, or a woman pregnant for that matter, and it fascinated him. As king one of his duties was to oversee that his doctors were properly trained for anything that came their way. This just happened to be one of those surprise inspection days. How lucky, he thought to himself, I'll get to see a real, live birthing.

He stood off to the side, his guards at each side, staring intently at the pregnant woman grit her teeth to hold back a scream. Alexander flinched and held his stomach as the doctor reached in between her legs and pulled something out. Not something, he lamented, someone. The woman, with a final scream, 'pushed' the baby out of her and threw her head back with a loud sigh.

The baby's high pitch screams began as soon as he was checked over - and at that, his fascination sated, Alexander decided he had no want for one of his own. Sure, he needed an heir but to force a woman, no matter how willing she was, to go through that was preposterous. He could reign for as long as he could and then, maybe then, he would rethink this through but for now, staring at the woman still bleeding, he felt himself gag and promptly left. The doctor was good, he decided, there was no more need for him to be there.

Later on, as he and Hephaestion walked through the halls of their home, Alexander stopped and regarded his dark haired lover with contemplating eyes. He knew Hephaestion loved kids; it was one of the reasons why the courtyards were full of them. Would he feel saddened that Alexander wished to have none of his own? Because while Alexander didn't want children, Hephaestion did.

"I saw a birthing today," Alexander said casually as they walked on. "It was rather... disturbing."

"I would imagine it would appear that way to men," Hephaestion replied. "It is rather archaic in nature but necessary."

Alexander raised an eyebrow at his companion before he replied, "It was horrendous, Phae! It was disturbing and disgusting and-"

"- beautiful," Hephaestion finished for him with a sigh. "It is how you and I were brought into this world, love. Giving birth, though painful to experience and, as you say, watch is beautiful in the sense that a new life as been brought into existence."

"I don't want any children, Hephaestion, I'm sorry," Alexander interrupted. "Just thinking about having something that big coming out of me-"

Alexander stopped as Hephaestion bit his lip to contain his laughter. Alexander looked at him, thinking that he was upset and sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, love, i-"

Hephaestion burst into laughter making the king take as step back, shocked. When Hephaestion saw that the king was serious, he stopped laughing, he nodded, and said, "Well, okay then."

"You... are not... mad?" Alexander asked, confused.

"Seeing as neither of us are capable of bearing children, I would think that having something coming out of you would be impossible."

Hephaestion walked away, his laughter ringing in echo in the halls all the way to his bedroom, leaving the king standing in the middle of the hall more confused than ever.

deelove1 - "poor" Alexander indeed! Wanna help classyblue and me slap the crappers out of him? Thanks for your continuing support :)

classy blue - We can take turns slapping the stupid out of him! Thanks for your review, it means a lot to me.

Any ideas for the next drabble? I'm open to suggestions!