A/N: I am sorry for how long you waited for this damn chapter. I honestly have no excuse except I'm a HORRID author… at updating… sorry =(. And, well, school HAS been eating my soul… I'll try my best to make sure it doesn't happen THIS long again… *defends self from pointy pitchforks and knives, hiding behind Rodrigo* I also— well, nevermind. I'll save more bad news for later…
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero, ze`ro. NIENTE! Although I do giggle madly everytime I turn on my computer… Heh heh…
Warning: If it needs oooone… -.- And possible OOC-ness.
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Kakashi sighed as he stared at the mission room doors. He was still battered and wounded from that last mission that he should have died on. But, he was good at pretending to be perfectly functional. But when Tsunade checked him out upon Iruka bringing him in -against his will too!- She forbade him from taking missions for one month. What did this mean? He was absolutely bored. Extremely. Freaking. Bored. Usually during the day, of course, when Iruka had classes and was not with the jounin. Iruka had been coming over to check on him and cook food most of the time while he was there. Kakashi knew it was the start of a true friendship. Well, one that he held dear anyway. He found he enjoyed living day to day now with Iruka's warmth in his heart. He knew he was being overly sensitive and under normal circumstances Iruka would never have affected him to start with. But without the copy-nin ever realizing it Iruka broke his walls so cleanly he had to question if he put them up in front of the chuunin. Kakashi liked to think he actually just slid through his walls unaffected, but that was more for his amusement to think of it as such.
Now the man was stuck remembering Iruka's somewhat silent, but ever-powerful presence in his apartment. It's true they haven't talked much since the first night, but Kakashi did not really care or mind much. There was something about the teacher grading papers and eating some kind of food with him that made talking unnecessary. Positive thoughts humming around him, he entered the mission room heading straight to the chuunin's desk. Iruka looked up at him, acknowledging the jounin.
"Hello Kakashi-sensei," the chuunin said after a difficult pause. Kakashi frowned remembering they didn't want to keep their friendship from spreading into the gossip of the mission room. But he found that he didn't really care for the mission room's gossip. He just wanted the nearly unnoticeable intimacy of good friends. That lack of honorifics. He found he strongly disliked honorifics now, but he figured he was being ridiculous so just dealt with it.
"Hello. Would you care to join me at Ichiraku's soon?"
The chuunin only nodded, "yes."
The jounin smiled happily, glad he managed to do this nearly insurmountable task of asking Iruka out to lunch rather seamlessly. ' Iruka is coming with me to lunch again. I enjoyed spending time with him last time,' he paused and looked towards the ceiling, then remembered a book he read, 'I recall from what I have read this is what a true friendship is like.' He thought to himself, but then only said, "alright." in response. He then proceeded to leave and lean on a nearby wall, waiting for the chuunin as he read his Icha Icha.
While he was engrossed into the story of Muki screaming in pleasure as the hunky Tamashi made love to her shortly after saving her from- "Kakashi!," Iruka yelled at the man, apparently the love scene was longer than usual or something. Kakashi in turn only blushed slightly and closed his book quickly. "S-sorry…" he mumbled whilst scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.
"You were supposed to take longer…"
"I did say I was almost done Kakashi-san."
"No, you never said it."
"Okay, I implied it when I answered yes to your '-soon?'"
"Well, um… yeah, but… that doesn't count!"
"How?"
"It just doesn't," Kakashi finished while he gently poked the chuunin's forehead, smiling to himself. He found the playful bicker gave him more of that warm feeling. However, Kakashi secretly sighed, he never realized how important a simple extra syllable was to him, but it was all he could focus on. "We need to let the public know we're good friends…" He said relatively boldly.
"W-wha? Why?"
'Perhaps this wasn't such a good subject to breach…', "Because um… well…" the jounin found he was at a loss of words. "Can we just forget it?" he said rather aggressively, but scratched his neck again shyly, and apologetically, looking everywhere but the chuunin's face. 'Kami, I have no idea what I'm doing…' Iruka in turn only gave him a look, but shrugged it off. He knew the relationship was going to be difficult. Kakashi finally gestured Iruka to follow him after a pause to Ichiraku's. As they walked a comfortable silence filled the air and Kakashi sighed relieved, 'I can handle this'.
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Soon, they arrived. Iruka followed after the masked man as he slid into the restaurant's stool. Iruka slid into the other chair right by Kakashi's seat. Iruka realized it was a bit odd since Naruto was not in the middle of them, but knew it was important to get used to being with Kakashi. Which, if he was perfectly honest with himself, was very rapidly happening with his repeated visits to watch over the man. 'Kakashi, why is it I need to do these things for you? ' the chuunin thought idly. Of course he realized he probably should order soon. Teuchi was waiting for him impatiently. "Ah, I'll have pork and miso ramen please, thank you." He said shyly to the man as he handed the man the menu.
He then finally turned to look at his companion, "what made you bring me here today Kakashi? You know I'm going over to your apartment soon."
"I know, I just… wanted to do something nice for you I guess…" Kakashi trailed off, unsure how to address the question properly, but figured his response was perfectly valid since Iruka didn't give him too strange of a look.
"Hn..." Iruka grunted in response and nodded as he waited.
"Well, alright. You assumed I'd like Ichiraku's again eh?" Iruka joked, but then he saw the intense gleam of panic in Kakashi's visible eye. "I do! I do… I just, was saying… um… I did take Naruto out a lot for a reason you know…" he said then sheepishly smiled as he blushed.
Kakashi finally smiled, calm. 'That was close… I don't actually know if can do this now that I think of it… anything I do can be something I don't realize is right to say… Oh…' he thought tiredly, and worried. 'What do normal people talk about while eating out?...' Thankfully, Iruka came to his rescue again.
"So, how are your wounds now?"
"Surprisingly good and healing well. I still don't know how I was even able to wake up the first day you were in my house though. Last time I was that injured and bloodied I slept, then didn't wake up for about two or three days."
Iruka's mind then choose that moment to panic, as Iruka stared wide-eyed. 'I don't heal that well though… But, Tsunade did say –AFTER—I healed him and he went with me to report to her the next day, that he should have been knocked out for several days and my healing made it so that he wasn't in a crisis condition… But I swear I am not trained well in medical ninjutsu… maybe healing my brat's bruises made me especially effective at any bruises?... But…,' the chuunin just sighed, confused himself why he was apparently so important. 'I was only helping you…' at that moment he realized he'd been staring wide-eyed at Kakashi for about five minutes straight. And, judging on the man's worried eye, he was clearly worried.
"I'm sorry! I just, I couldn't imagine you being so injured as to need that long just to start up again…" Iruka looked down shyly, scratching his scar. "It's okay Iruka-kun, the food's here." Kakashi replied as he looked at Teuchi, noticing their orders in the man's hands. The man set the bowls down and both Iruka and Kakashi tucked in, avoiding talk for now. Of course, Kakashi finished before Iruka even saw him dip his chopsticks in.
Iruka, upon realizing Kakashi just swallowed his food, glared at the man heatedly. "You know, Kakashi-kun, it is incredibly unhealthy to eat this way… Now I remember why we don't eat out anymore…"
"Sorry Iruka-kun…"
"It's fine I suppose," the man replied with a tired sigh.
From then, Kakashi watched Iruka as the tanned man ate. He didn't watch closely, or even uncomfortably. He just watched idly as the man handled his chopsticks. 'I don't understand how you did it… you are just so,… you…' After the man finished, he only stared at random objects thinking to himself about the chuunin. Nothing specific, just thinking. How the man made him relax, Iruka's domestic ways, Iruka making his void apartment a home… He then realized Iruka was talking to him.
"Thank you Kakashi, I'll see you later. Maybe we can do this again soon."
"What? Well, okay… see you?" the jounin replied, smiling that there was no honorific that time. Granted it was perfectly fine since few people were even near hearing range of them while they ate at the ramen stand. But what mattered was he heard it again, and in semi-public.
"Yep," the man then started walking off, giving Kakashi a smile and wave which Kakashi only too happily returned. 'Well, so far it looks like I'm going to be fine…'
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From there, Kakashi strolled aimlessly around town, starting to head to the memorial stone. But he spotted Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma outside of a bar.
"Kakashi-saaan!" Kurenai yelled out whilst waving, which of course, made Kakashi sigh heavily and hang his head just a bit. 'Maybe if I go now they won't force me to stay…' he thought as he headed over to his "friends'" location. Kurenai smiled happily as Asuma let out a grumbled "hello" in response and Gai went on about how the springtime of youth is so marvelously brilliant with- from then, Kakashi ignored the spandex-clad man.
"Yo, Kurenai-sensei, what did you want?"
"Well, me and Asuma were talking and found you seemed much more… optimisitic." The woman said experimentally, suggesting Kakashi should pick up on something.
"You think I'm happier?" He asked dully, blinking his single eye emotionlessly.
"No. Well, yeah… You have stopped reading your gross book all the time, you don't snap at everyone and there's just an aura of optimis- well, that's way too strong of a word. Perhaps positivity is better? But yeah. Sooooo… who's the new girl Kakashi-san?," Kurenai ended with that voice all woman get when they are suggesting something they'd love to gossip about. The woman even added a wink and a nudge. Kakashi mentally shivered. 'All kunoichi are psycho…' he thought to himself. But Gai then took that moment to proclaim how the youthful flowers of love and life and- 'cue tuning out again, and ignoring the man, then going on to more interesting stuff like how I am apparently so negative.'
"What? Am I really that negative?"
"You are not that positive…" the woman said slyly.
Kakashi sighed, electing to ignore the woman because he didn't feel like letting her focus on the question she just asked. Because of that, he turned to Asuma.
"Do I seem different to you Asuma-san?"
"Not as different as Kurenai says," the gruff man answered with puff of his cigarette, "but you do seem somewhat different. I doubt anyone who doesn't know you would notice the difference though. I don't think I've ever seen you truly happy though…" the last part was more of a mumble from the man, but Kakashi easily heard it.
'None of you "know" me… but I guess you are my "friends"…' Kakashi lifted his brow in response, then said, "interesting… guess this work break is actually helping me…"
With that, the silver-haired man left without so much as a goodbye. He could hear Kurenai grumbling about how she was probably wrong about his positivity and generally seemed indignant about his departure realizing he didn't actually answer her question, but Kakashi had to think. 'You're affecting me a lot if Asuma and the others can tell…'
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Kakashi then decided to sit and think at the memorial stone, he could tell a lot had to be figured out with the sudden addition of the tan chuunin in his life. So he then took to the roof-tops and bounded leisurely to the memorial stone. Upon arriving in roughly five minutes, he got to the memorial site, and then landed cleanly in front of the stone. The man then sat down, relaxing with his back leaning against the cool stone.
'All I've done my life is serve Konoha and run myself into the ground only to get fixed up and sent out again. Only recently have I learned what it's like to have a friend and want to come back from a mission… what am I going to do still? I was going to go on with my life in ANBU, becoming a Hound in the darkness… But, maybe I shouldn't do that anymore? I am no longer used to putting my life on the line. I want to come home and see Iruka again… And because I want to do that more than mechanically finish all the missions… I think I have to quit ANBU again… I can't help but think of our time at Ichiraku… and everywhere else, he is always there now, and I know I can't not think about him… So I guess he's important to me now? I would go as far to say as I might truly need you Iruka… and if that's true then I can no longer be in ANBU with so much at stake… would I spill the secrets of Konoha if I knew they would kill you otherwise Iruka? Minato? Do you know? The fact that I can say for certain I am unsure if I would is a clear statement though… I can't be in ANBU if I can think about betraying Konoha…How come you mean so much to me Iruka? Why did you make me care so much as to consider quitting ANBU? Why is that it is always you I could dare-say I care about? What did you do to me…?'
The silver-haired man sighed as his mind went into over-drive. He knew he had a weakness now, and that weakness was Iruka. Word could absolutely not get out about his feelings if he was still in ANBU. Which, currently, he still was.
'I think I am going to quit ANBU for you, Iruka…' was his last thought as he got up, then bounded off to the Hokage's tower, paying little attention to his still hurting wounds as he lightly touched the bruises on his chest. That area always felt warmer than usual…
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A/N: TA-DA! THE OTHER BAD NEWS! 3-ish months to come up with this crap length and generally poor chapter. =.=' It's even worse because I have no idea what's gonna' happen next. I assume Kakashi is going to ask to resign, but who knows? Anyway I again SINCERELY apologize for how long this took, I'll try my best not to let it take this long ever again… School just kills man… Thanks again SO MUCH for sticking with it. Here: *throws delicious cookies at all precious readers and reviewers excessively*. Hope you enjoyed!