Standard disclaimers apply.

NOTHING IF NOT

By Cassandra's Destiny

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Nothing if not… changing

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It was barely seven o' clock, but the inn they were staying in lay unusually dark. It was Yusuke's idea to go backpacking that weekend. And for a group that has been through circumstances far worse than canned beans and mud puddles, give them an afternoon and they were good to go.

Everything was going well at first, but when Keiko came down with a cold, pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere was an option left unconsidered by Yusuke. Forget backpacking, he says; they were finding a decent place to spend the night.

Although she would not dare say it aloud, she was glad it was Keiko who fell ill. Had it been anyone else – Kuwabara, for example – they will all have to put up with Yusuke's shameless grumblings on how his plan to get away from it all and enjoy life in its barest form fell down the drain because of a couple of sneezes here and there.

Botan looked up into the early night sky from the edge of the mini-forest facing the lake. There were no stars visible yet, and barely a silver moon to illuminate her surroundings. She inhaled deeply as a sudden gust filled the air. The winds were changing; summer has really long gone.

As her thoughts floated back to her friends, she remembered telling them she'll be out for a short walk as they got ready for dinner. Yusuke didn't pay her any attention. He was too busy forcing all kinds of tea into Keiko's system. Regarding his backpacking idea, she appreciated his intentions, really. Her busy agenda working for Koenma has been much busier recently, and the hustle and bustle of the city did not do her any good. Besides, there has been no one to take evening strolls with, no one to give her a rose every time she was down, no one to push her in the swings at the park, no one to make her feel safe, no one to hold her hand and kiss her good night…

Botan sighed and shifted her gaze to her feet. It was mid-November, and the chill of winter is on the horizon. The leaves have changed color on cue, and the autumn foliage ranged from red to yellow.

It has been exactly two months since Kurama left, and the weeks have passed by slowly. During the first two weeks, she reveled the time she had for herself. She spent the afternoons catching up on her paperwork, and the evenings catching up on the gossip with the other girls. On the third week, she would often forget he was out, and end up taking the longer route back from Yusuke's house. It was only when she finds herself on his doorstep that she remembers, and she would then decide to visit his mother anyway. On the fourth week, things were pretty much the same. But this time, her visits to his mother became more frequent.

A month later, it wasn't that things became harder. It only alarmed her that things seemed to have normalized already. Before going to Yusuke's, she drops by at Keiko's house either to help her with her chores or to whip up something random from the cookbook together, delivers news or missions from Koenma to Yusuke, then occasionally dropping in to visit Kurama's mother.

A falling leaf landed on the side of her feet.

She wondered. When Kurama comes home – because with them is his home – will they still be the same two people from two months ago?

Two months may seem to be a short time from another's perspective, but two months seem like forever to her and–

The crack of a broken twig caught her attention. Botan turned around, her eyes making out the silhouette of a man not far from where she was standing. She could neither see him clearly, nor could his shadowed contour transcend the effects of a moonlit background.

"Kurama?" She asked, hopeful for a positive reply. Perhaps this was part of Yusuke's plan all along. Perhaps he knew Kurama was coming back, and he wanted to frustrate her with a trip to nowhere first, and then surprise her with his return.

Thinking of the possibility only made her heart flutter.

"I can't believe it. I didn't think you'd be back so soon… I was hoping you would, but maybe I was trying to be realistic, or just preparing myself for the worst. That didn't mean I stopped thinking about you, though," then she paused, waiting for a response.

When she heard no word from him, she took it as a sign for her to continue. "I visited your mom a couple of times while you were gone. I think she misses you a tad more than I do, which is completely understandable." A trifling smile. "She made me think of the good times we've had together, but when I'm alone, I won't lie, my mind drifts back to restlessness. Two months is a long time, Kurama, for me, at least, and I wonder how much has changed… how much you have changed, how much I have changed, how much we have changed, but more importantly, if we changed the way we feel…" she trailed off.

"Come on, say something. I know I–"

"I just came to ask if you wanted rice or dinner rolls with your meal."

She swallowed hard. It was Kuwabara, probably sent by his sister to ask her about dinner.

"I guess I'll," she began slowly, obviously dejected to see her much taller friend instead of another. How she had mistaken their silhouettes with one another, she could not comprehend. "I'll have the dinner rolls, please."

"Alright," he replied with an apologetic smile. He knew, as everyone else did, that it has been two months since Kurama left, and Botan hasn't been the same since. Slowly leaving the forest grounds, he can only wish for things to get better. Kuwabara knew better than to make a lousy attempt at lightening her mood with a string of bad jokes.

He wasn't here and he wasn't home. Not yet, she cooed herself. But she had to wait, because he promised he will be back.

As Botan turned on her heel to follow suit, she was surprised to see a red-haired man standing in front of her, with a single rose tucked in between his fingers.

"How long have you been standing there?"