Author's Note: Sorry that it took a little longer than I hoped. I got sick and bogged with homework, then got writter's block and depression. Most of this story was written to the song "il mare dei suoni" a lovely song by Kokia. It's recommended that you listen to it while reading any Riku chapters because the dark tones seem to fit him, in my opinion. On a quick note, because it was brought up, I had things unfold with Sora the way they did for a reason. The short answer is that it was more confusing and devastating for him to have not had a chance to help at all than for him to have found anything at all, but he did see the original message in the end, making what happened real. This will be pushed more in a few chapters when Sora and Riku do collide again.
PhinMaginOnly—No, that wasn't Riku. As you will see, he really was a bit busy at the moment. But you're getting in the ballpark. But, I really don't blame you for what you say. It makes me luahg because that's how I'm making Riku feel.
StoopidMonkey—You wanna tell me the pair you want? You get any. And yeah, you were right.
Black-Abyss—Thanks! And yes, there will be… eventually. It's in the plans… and the far off future. The catalyst has just been sparked for it.
And Special thanks to Is Simple for being meh Beta. Everyone clap now!!!
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I was drifting in the cold darkness. Just floating aimlessly, it seemed. My body was slowly becoming numb. My heart was icing over like it had once in the distant past. But all I could think about was high school. Of how things worked out.
The most prominent memory took place a few months after we had returned from The World That Never Was. Sora and I had managed to get back into school in the grades that we should have been in. It was a complete miracle because we had missed almost two years of school and had no clue about what we were supposed to know.
Despite all that, I was managing an A average in my classes while juggling soccer. It was my sport of choice at the time, and I was damn good at it. Halfway through the season I had become one of the star players on the team. At first Sora and Kairi came to all my games and cheered me one from the sidelines. I think that's why I always did so well then. At that point I had still seen hope that Sora might have had feelings for me. It was his smile, I think.
One day I had dragged him to the play island. I had made sure it was a day when I knew that Kairi would be busy. I hadn't wanted her to ruin the moment. We had gone around the island and messed around just like old times, ending the day on the Paopu Island. We had watched the sunset together, staying put long after the sun had disappeared. I had been perched on the bent Paopu tree with Sora sitting on the sand at the base. We had remained silent since arriving on the island. After a long while, I had finally mustered enough strength to speak, to confess my darkest secret.
"Sora?" I had said, barely above a whisper.
"Yeah?" He had replied back just as quietly.
"I-I don't know what I would do without you, Sora."
"It's no problem. You're my best friend."
"Is that all I am to you?" I had asked, slightly more quiet and breathy than before.
"W-what do you mean?" He had blinked up at me with large, innocent eyes when asked the simple question.
"Sora, I like you as more than a best friend. I'm… I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with you…"
"You've…" He was silent for a long time after that. It had taken him about twenty minutes for every implication of those words to sink in. I couldn't bear looking at him at that instant and turned away. The wheels in his head were turning and a look of confusion and displeasure was forming on his cute face.
"I'm sorry," He had said after an eternity. "I don't feel the same. I don't even like guys. I… I think I love Kairi…"
"I see. Let's forget we ever had this conversation, then." I stood and began to leave the island, not once looking at Sora. I had placed an unbreakable mask on my face—or at least I had though it unbreakable until much later. Sora called out softly for me, but I ignored him. Once I got home, my mother jumped on me, smothering me with her breasts.
"Ooooh! Rikuuu! I'm so proud of you!" she had cried out. "So when's the date? Huh, huh?" I pushed her away and looked her in the eye.
"There isn't one," I had said flatly, trying to move past her.
"No date? Did you chicken out?" Her face had hardened some at the notion.
"No, I didn't. He doesn't feel the same. There won't ever be a date," I had tried to explain to her. She didn't have any of it, though.
"Of course he feels the same! He just hasn't realized it yet, honey! Just keep trying!" I had tried to shoot down her overconfidence in Sora's 'true feelings' several times, but she never relented. Slowly, I began getting worse at soccer. I dropped out before the end of the season and picked up another sport.
The memory was horribly painful. My mother had just never accepted the fact that Sora never liked me like that. It wasn't long after my confession that Sora and Kairi started dating.
I was snapped from my thoughts when I felt solid ground under my feet, a loud pained gasping coming from somewhere in the darkness.
"We're going to have to push them all the way through to get them out."
"Owie!! This is why I hate fighting so much! Why must we war and cause pain when it'd be just so much easier to love everybody?"
"Shut up. You can't love. You're useless. If you'd held on just two more minutes we would have had a pretty little Roxas as a trophy, but nooooo." Suddenly a sharp gasp, followed shortly by a piercing scream, sounded. My vision was beginning to clear to the sights around me. Axel was leaning over a crumpled Demyx pushing arrows through his back. The sight looked rather painful, and I felt myself flinch. What was left of my broken heart and dieing heart went out to Demyx.
"You fought Sora?" I asked, a little surprised at how rough and unused my voice felt. It was strange to be back in the darkness and somewhat under its influence. It wasn't something that was easily accustomed to. It took months to get acquainted with fully. Axel looked at me with mild shock, suddenly realizing that I was awake again.
"Oh. You. Yeah. Demyx did. Now if you'll excused me," Axel said, turning back to Demyx and shoving another arrow through the blonde's chest. A scream that was oddly too high rang out in the darkness. I flinched slightly at the pitch. After the final arrow was pushed through, Demyx scrambled away from Axel.
"Uuuuuuuuhhh," he spazed, clutching his arms and hunching more. "No way am I letting you treat my wounds ever again. I'd rather have Vexen do it than you."
"Now you're being an idiot. Get over it. We've got Riku to deal with, remember?" Axel deadpanned.
"Oooooooh yeah!" Demyx chirped, seeming as if his mood was brightened. "Riku, baby! Are you feeling batter?" The Nobody asked, moving towards me.
"Yeah. A little. I'm numbed, not fixed though. I'll probably need to do this every once in a while," I murmured.
"It can be arranged. But come on. It's dangerous out here. Mr. One Wing or his gooneys might be lurking just beyond sight. We can't loose you," Axel said, opening a portal the Organization's new base.
"Everything will be explained, right?" I asked, following Axel through the portal and into one of the bright white rooms that the organization was known for. Demyx followed behind me.
"Yep! Anything you want to know, we probably have the answer to," Demyx squealed, latching onto me. His arms rested comfortably around my waist, hands clasping over my bare stomach. "Oooo! You have such nice muscles!"
"Get off. Are you trying to annoy me? You know the only reason you won back in Virginia was because we were surrounded by your element, right?" As nice as a pair of loving arms was at the moment, I wasn't in the mood. No one would be touching me without permission from now on without facing severe consequences.
"Ah! You're no fun!" the dirty blonde cried as I yanked his hands away from my stomach. I felt a little awkward wearing the outfit as I was, but I had done it under Axel's request. The top zipper of my coat was at my sternum while the bottom one rested just above my bellybutton, revealing enough of my skin and scars to be frightening yet seductive. The skintight black pants were just low enough to accentuate it but high enough to not be risqué. Next time I'd meet Sora, he would see the scars. The one I received from Xemnas was in plain view whenever I twisted or moved in general.
"Look, I doubt I'll have any real time to show you around later, so I'll tell you shit as we go. Got it?" Axel said, shooing us further into the room as the portal closed.
"Fine. Let's just get this over with." Axel nodded and started moving forward.
"This room isn't really special. Just another place for an intruder to get stuck in to fight," he said. After we exited the room, Demyx skulked down a separate hallway and out of site. Axel's strides were long and fast as he began leading my through a maze of corridors and rooms. Occasionally he'd motion to a room and give some important facts about it. We didn't stop until we somehow managed to run into Demyx again.
"Number One is busy at the moment. It'll be awhile until you can go to the conference room," the dirty blonde said, somewhat seriously before bouncing off with a loud, melodic cry of, "Zexion! Where are you! It's not nice to ditch your friends!" Axel shook his head slightly before turning back to me.
"If that's the case, I'll take you to your room now. It was specially created for you. It's close to the dark realm but also the most guarded room in the place. You'll be safe there," Axel said, making a sharp turn down another corridor. I picked up speed, tired of walking behind him. He stopped suddenly at a door and opened it.
The room was black, as dark as the realm of darkness with red streaks of smoke and light floating through the air. I could just barely make out the rough shapes of a bed, a filled bookshelf and a small chair. Carefully, I made my way into the room, Axel not far behind. I could feel the darkness cooling my body further as I made my way towards the bed. I took a seat and sunk deep into the soft mattress. Axel joined me, making the bed sink farther down.
"This should be good…" I said a bit emptily.
"You want to stay numb, right? Well this is the best way we could think. Number One knew you'd prefer this in the long run. It was Xigbar and Xaldin that actually designed the room so it shouldn't be that bad. I'd only be really worried if it was Vexen that did it. The little freak is scary and dumb at times, but his inventions are infinitely more dangerous than he is, as you know." I nodded, remembering my experiences with Vexen and the clone. That wasn't a very pleasant part of my life. After another moment Axel got up and headed to the door. "I'd better be off. I've got some things to do. I'll be back when our boss can talk with you."
I didn't do or say anything to Axel as he left. Instead, I collapsed backwards onto my bed. The cold of the darkness was beginning to wrap around my heart like kudzu. It was suffocating yet relaxing. I'd never been afraid of the Darkness. It wouldn't fit for me to be suddenly afraid of it. As time went on, it seemed more and more likely that Sephiroth's words to me the day we first met were true. I was a child of darkness. I would always return.
Slowly, my mind drifted back to Sora. Back to my senior year, when Sora was a junior. Sora had been excited, so excited that night. He'd been out on a date with Kairi, their one and a half year anniversary. They had separated somewhere around seven that night and Sora had practically bounced his way to my doorstep. I had managed to stave my mother away from the door and answered it myself. While Sora and Kairi were off doing their date thing, I had been throwing myself a party with various cartons of ice cream (all different flavors) and chick flicks. My mother had been there the whole time trying to cheer me up with what she thought was encouraging words. I had been between flings and her words just stung more.
Sora was Kairi's. There wasn't anything that could change that in the foreseeable future.
So, that night when Sora had shown up so bubbly and bright, I had been shocked senseless. Before my mom could get anywhere near him, I had pushed him to my room. It had been my only solace from my mother in those days.
"Oh My Gawd, Riku!" he had gushed as soon as the door closed. He had this dreamy look on his face as he fell on my bed and sighed contentedly. "Now I know what I've been missing out on."
"Come again?" I had said, not quite getting what he had said. He had grinned goofily at me, pulling a string in my heart. I had known from that moment that I wouldn't like what he was going to say.
"Now I know what you find so great about sex! I mean, for the longest time I was all, 'it can't be really that good,' but it is!" he had spouted off.
"Oh, so I take it you and Kairi?" I had asked. He had nodded and taken it as a queue to continue.
"Yeah. And it was so wonderful. I mean, like mind blowing. Kairi was amazing. So was so tight and wet and it was heaven. I couldn't think straight and… Oh my god!"
"Sora… I really don't want the gory details. I'm glad that you and Kairi are doing so well, just spare me those details," I had said with as much cheer as I could get in my voice. It had been so hard that night to be next to Sora.
It hadn't helped any when Kairi came the next day and sent me a note expressing the same feelings. It had been heart breaking and soul shattering. They had enjoyed themselves so much when I had never gotten lasting pleasure. I had several scores under my belt but none had ever been exceptionally satisfying. Until Sephiroth, I had felt a mechanical need to release my frustrations in that way. Sephiroth had numbed me. Hearing that stuff from Sora stung deeply, but I dealt for a long time.
I was drawn from my deep thoughts for a second time that day by a hand gently shaking me. I looked to my side to find Axel, a small worried look on his face. His brow was creased as if in a deep thought as well.
"You had me worried there for a second. You're eyes looked so blank," He said, pulling me into a sitting position.
"I was reminiscing."
"Well, whatever it is, come on. You have someone to talk to." I nodded and followed Axel out of the room. He led me back into the maze. After a long walk, we began to ascend stairs. Four flights later, we stopped at a large, white door. Axel pushed it open, revealing a room seemingly bigger than Mickey's throne room.
As we walked up the center of the room, I noticed that other members of the organization were perched on chairs and talking quietly. They looked at me wearily as I passed but otherwise ignored me. I was surprised that the whole organization was there, including the ones that wished to revolt against Xemnas.
At the far end of the room, a raised platform stood with what looked like a statue behind it. Nearing it, it became clear that it wasn't a statue but a large structure that was containing something. Green liquid bubbled around in the structure with harder matter bursting out in spikes in a somewhat abstract Nobody symbol. Getting even closer, I could tell that the person imprisoned was Xemnas, and there was a person standing in front of him. Axel stopped at the base of the stairs.
"This is as far as I go," Axle said, motioning for me to continue up the steps. I nodded and moved to up the twenty-four steps slowly. When I neared the top, the person standing in front of Xemnas turned around. It turned out to a girl in her late teens. Her hair was long and flowing, ebony in color. She wore a black and white swirled coat like Xemnas in much the same way as me. Her pants were white with black boots. She was slight in frame with a thin, pretty face and startlingly deep red eyes.
"Riku," she said in a soft yet commanding voice, "I'm glad you decided to join us."
"So you're the one that managed to take over the organization."
"Yes. I'm Xifeng."
"I seriously didn't expect this."
"Are you really that surprised? I lost my heart when I tried to save my world and failed. I, too, received a keyblade several years ago. I just never got out and used it much beyond the surrounding worlds. All I want is my heart back and my home restored."
"Xemnas said similar things."
"That's why I have him incased in that." Xifeng said, motioning to the structure behind us. "It's Materia. It's extremely powerful, and its magics are binding him. He can't do anything."
"What are your plans, exactly?"
"To build up Kingdom hearts again. Five years ago, the hearts that were used were scattered through the universe. Most did not return to their owners. It would only be the logical thing to kill the heartless in hopes that it will allow us to gather our lost hearts."
"So you're going to kill more innocent people to get your hearts back?"
"No. You miss interpret the situation. I'm trying to get it back while helping. Despite the fact that I'm a Nobody, I can't override the desire to save these people. But I take it you don't really know anything about Sephiroth, do you?"
"All I know is that he's up to something."
"He's trying to reunite the worlds and bring them into darkness. He's going for the hearts of the worlds, sending heartless to weaken the people and keep the doors open. No one will survive if he gets his way."
"I'm not quite so sure."
"He wants you, Riku. Out of everyone but Cloud, you are the most valuable playing chip. Whoever has you is practically guaranteed victory. The power within you…"
"I don't care about my potential power. All I care about is serving out a purpose. If I'm not given something to do soon, I will kill myself."
"Fine. Be that way. I need you to go to every world that Sora has sealed already and reopen the doors."
"Why?"
"Because… Never mind. Fine then. I need you to go to a world called El Dorado first. The world has just been opened and there are signs that whoever Sephiroth sent this time is still there. Take Axel with you and kill as many heartless as you can. If you run into Sora, bring Roxas back. The more keyblades we have, the better."
"Fine, Xifeng," I said as a bowed and turned away. I didn't like or trust her at all, but I had no choice to until I learned more about the situation.
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Axel had made sure that I was well prepared for the trip. I was equipped with several types of potions and warding charms that I couldn't get anywhere else. Demyx had presented me with a new keyblade. I was told to try to wield both at the same time, to increase my fighting capabilities. I had been pampered and prepared in everyway they possibly could before we set out.
I guess it was all of that that had me really shocked when we ended up coming out in the middle of a city and all the people dropped to the ground in deep bows. That was the one thing they hadn't prepared me for. They people seemed scared, and I got the feeling that things were about to get complicated. A thin muscular man with black hair, hawk nose, and face paint stepped forward. A shorter, fatter man followed close behind the first.
"My liege," the first man said, bowing at my feet, "we have been expecting you for sometime. You're brother came from the heavens a while ago to announce the coming of you and many other gods. I am Tzekel-kan, the high priest and this is the chief."
A little shell shocked by this, I turned to Axel and pulled him close to me. I whispered into his ear, "What the hell is going on here? I don't have a brother."
Axel turned to me replied in my ear, "Sephiroth got here before us. His lackeys have been calling you brother. They did the same thing to Cloud as well. Demyx was watching." I nodded and pulled away. The skinnier man was looking up at us expectantly.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to be taken to my brother," I said to Tzekel-kan.
"That will not be a problem! Please! Follow me!" the chief cried, leaping to his feet and motioning us towards a large pyramid. I looked about the city as I climbed the large stairs. The first thing I noticed was the abundant supply of gold in the city. It seemed to be around every corner, on every stone. The temple, though, seemed to have the most abundant amount compared to the rest of the city. It was easily the most notable structure in the city, rising high above the rest. It was moments like this—climbing impossibly high buildings—that I was glad that I had never let my self get out of shape.
At the top of the stairs, we were led back into a room filled with plush pillows, beautifully dyed cloths and even more gold. Sitting at one of the cushions was an older teenager, clad in leather with short, choppy silver hair. He stood upon seeing us enter and my breath caught. The resemblance was striking. His green eyes were only a few shades off from my aqua, and the glowing blue borders did nothing to hide it. His hair cute was very similar to mine in my later years of high school, the hair choppy and shoulder length. The silver color was slightly different but almost a match. His build was slightly different, with narrower hips and a broader chest, but we shared enough facial features that we did look like siblings.
"Wow. A pretty cushiony place here for mortals," Axel said, whistling as he moved forward into the room. He was obviously playing along with the whole god bit. The teen stepped closer to me and grabbed my arm with an eerie smirk on his face.
"Big brother, I'm so glad that you could make it so soon! Isn't it delightful?" the boy said, a little too exited.
"Yeah. I suppose it is," I said, wrinkling my nose at him slightly. The younger, almost-clone-of-me moved away, lifting his arms I the air.
"Won't Sephiroth be proud to hear about how wonderful this world is? It would be wonderful to convince him to visit here himself, wouldn't it, Riku?" the teen cried, turning back to me at the end.
"Actually, I don't think he'd like it here," I said, glaring. A noise came from where we entered. The chief and Tzekel-kan were standing in the doorway.
"Uhm, excuse me, your highnesses, but we need to arrange something for your arrival," Tzekel-kan said, bowing.
"We could hold a feast," the chief said, but Tzekel-kan looked at him disapprovingly.
"Or I could offer you a sacrifice," the priest offered as an alternative.
"There are still more gods to come why not—" Kadaj started before being cut off by Axel.
"I want a sacrifice!" The red head moved in front of us, rather gleefully, and spread himself in such a way that is was hard for them to see the teen and I. "Go round up as many Heartless as you can and bring them to us. Riku and I, Axel, wish to slaughter them with our own hands. We are war gods and grew bored up in heaven." Tzekel-kan's face lit up with something close to glee and he nodded excitedly.
"Aright then! I shall start preparations immediately!" the priest said before bowing again and leaving. The chief looked at us a bit strangely before leaving himself. After a few moments I turned back to the teen behind me. He was seated again, smirking wickedly.
"Who are you?" I asked, venom dripping from my voice.
"I am Kadaj."
"Why are you still here?"
"I wanted to meet you. I've waited so long, Big Brother."
"Where is Sephiroth?"
"I won't take you to him. He doesn't want to see you right now."
"I'll kill you if you don't answer me," I said, summoning Way To Dawn. I lunged forward at him, but he dodged. He drew a sword form seemingly nowhere, deflecting all of my attacks with ease. His smirk grew, and I knew then that he was only playing with me.
"Don't pick a fight you don't know you can win, Big Brother. I suggest you enjoy this world while you can. All the pawns are in play yet," Kadaj sneered, opening a portal of darkness and disappearing into it. I snapped my head to look at Axel.
"He's a brat. I don't think he's left this world, yet, though. They've been reopening the worlds after Sora and Xifeng closed them."
"I don't like him."
"You aren't the only one. But he is right. Enjoy this while you can. Our movements will be severely limited once Sora gets here. We'll need to move under cover as soon as we get word that he's here."
"Right." I looked out the temple. I thought I would be getting away from Sora for a while when I decided to leave, but I felt it was somewhat deserved. Our fates were intertwined. I wouldn't be able to go for very long without seeing him in this situation. The only thing I could let myself look forward to would be ripping Sora apart from the inside out for everything he'd put me through.