Chapter Ten

Walker pushed his way through the crowds on the underground station, agitated beyond belief. On the plus side, it wasn't as though anyone would recognise him in such a busy area. He'd only come to London to visit a few contacts; he needed more money after his last deal. He hadn't told Doug what he did for money, he didn't think the boy would approve. It was a necessary solution, in Walker's eyes. Besides, it wasn't as though he was dealing drugs. He was simply helping out those in tricky situations. With his training as a policeman, it was easy money.

He'd booked a cheap hotel for the few nights he was here. He'd meet his contacts elsewhere, not wanting to get too personal. He checked his phone regularly, hoping for something, anything, from Doug. There was nothing. He wondered if Ste had found his note and whether he'd kept it or thrown it away. Brendan would have, if he knew. Walker's blood boiled at the thought of him. The man had ruined his life yet again, taken away the only thing precious to him. He shook himself mentally, reminding himself of something Doug had always told him. You had to accept your own mistakes sometimes, and certainly being partly responsible for Lynsey's death hung heavily on his shoulders, more so now.

He sighed, running his hands through his hair as he sat on the creaky hotel bed. He should have been with Doug right now. He'd wanted to book somewhere posh, treat Doug like a prince. But now he was alone and Doug was home by himself, hating Walker. A part of him dared to hope that he could still love him enough to give him another chance. He couldn't comprehend a life without him now.

He went to shower and change, wanting to be presentable for his contact. Doug liked to brush his hair for him normally and Walker found himself snagging on the knots, not having that gentle touch like Doug did. He threw the comb angrily against the wall, running his fingers through his hair instead. It would have to do.

Xxx

Doug drifted off on the train into London. Thankfully he didn't have one of those dreams, but he did dream of Lynsey. Nothing specific, just her smiling kindly at him, brushing his cheek with her hand. He woke up with tears in the corners of his eyes. He hastily wiped them before the girls noticed.

"So where are we staying then?" He asked, stifling a yawn.

"We booked into a B&B." Texas said, checking her watch. "We might have to share beds though."

Doug waved his hand dismissively. "That's fine."

"What if we meet anyone tonight though, hm?" Leanne asked, nudging Texas in the ribs.

"We won't be taking them home though, will we?" Texas answered, rolling her eyes.

"Wait, why would we be meeting anyone?" Doug asked, confused.

"Well we're going to this club tonight, didn't we say?" Leanne explained.

"No, you didn't." Doug said, panic rising.

"Why do you think we've come up tonight? We have to try out one of the London clubs!" Leanne said excitedly.

"Do we?"

"It'll take your mind off things, Doug." Texas said gently, leaning across to squeeze his hand.

"Maybe." Doug agreed.

"If you hate it we'll go, won't we, Leanne?" Texas asked, staring at Leanne pointedly.

"If we have to." Leanne replied, disgruntled. Texas gave her a hard look.

They arrived at the station a little after nine and grabbed some fast food on their way out. Doug nibbled on his burger, not really tasting it. He hadn't been to London for a long time and he'd forgotten the bustle of it. If he didn't move out of someone's way, they were going to barrel straight into him. He didn't like the coldness of it all, how people pretty much ignored everyone else. It was so different in America where for the large part people were accommodating and almost over-friendly.

He was relieved when they got outside in the fresh air. It was a cold night and Doug linked their arms together both for warmth and comfort. He was glad he wasn't alone tonight and especially not in a place like this where it was so easy to lose yourself.

They dropped their bags off at the B&B and soon after made for one of the clubs. Doug wasn't entirely sure he was up for it but he put on a brave face for the sake of the girls. The club was heaving; smoke and lights swallowing them up. Doug ordered some drinks and located a corner for them to sit in.

"This is nice!" Leanne shouted above the noise. "We should dance when we've finished these."

"Oh I don't know." Doug said uneasily.

"Aw come on, Doug. Don't be a spoilsport!" Leanne pouted, tugging on his arm.

Doug sighed, downing the rest of his drink. "Keep the drinks coming and I will."

Several hours later and Doug didn't disappoint. He danced with the girls, having drink after drink, eventually forgetting how many he'd even had. His money was nearly all gone and he was glad they had paid upfront for the B&B.

The girls attracted some male attention and Doug found himself pushed surreptitiously to the side. He made his way to the bar, gripping the counter so hard it almost hurt. A man with pale blue eyes gave him a small smile. He was nice looking and Doug almost smiled back until he felt his stomach lurch.

He rushed outside of the club, bowing over and spilling his dinner all over the pavement; not that he'd eaten much anyway. His stomach tightened painfully as he retched, unable to bring any more up but desperately needing to. The drink would find it's way to the surface soon enough and Doug decided to sit down for a moment. He felt dizzy with sickness and his skin was burning with it. He went out of sight of the people entering the club, not wanting to attract unnecessary attention. He felt incredibly light-headed and the need to close his eyes was overwhelming. If he just laid there for a second, he'd feel better…

Xxx

Brendan rested against the sofa, his boy heavy but welcoming in his lap. Steven shifted himself so he was half laying across him, head pillowed against Brendan's crotch.

"What's this rubbish?" Steven asked, stretching and yawning. Brendan followed the movement of his shirt riding up with intense fascination. "Bren?"

"Oh, it's Spartacus." Brendan said after a beat.

"Who's he?" Steven asked, face scrunching up in confusion.

"Ye didn't learn about him at school?"

"Wasn't there much really." Steven replied, shrugging. "Go on then, teach me."

"It'd take too long. In this version," Brendan gestured to the television screen. "He's forced to be a slave and a gladiator but all he can focus on is getting his love back."

"Aw." Steven's mouth turned down at the corners. "That's dead sad, init?"

"Yeah." Brendan said softly.

"There was me thinking it was just a load of blokes with their cocks out."

Brendan laughed, a deep, low rumble. "That too."

Steven sat up a little, eyebrows drawn together suspiciously. "I hope you aren't looking."

"Bit hard not to."

"No it isn't."

"Steven, it's right there."

"But they're all beefy and I'm…" Steven poked sadly at his belly. "I'm all chicken arms and no tummy."

"Shut up, ye are perfect." Brendan sighed, gently pushing him back to his original position. "I like yer arms, and yer tummy."

"Prove it."

"I'm not doing it again, Steven." Brendan said, rolling his eyes.

"Aw, please! You know I like it." He stared up at him with doe eyes; beautiful blue and framed by dark lashes.

"Alright." Brendan sighed, pulling Steven's shirt up and splaying his hands on his bare stomach. "Like this?"

"No that tickles!" Steven giggled, twitching.

Brendan made his strokes firmer, rolling his head back at the absurdity of the situation.

"Ye aren't a fucking cat, Steven."

"But it feels dead good."

Brendan sighed, continuing his movements. "There are much nicer things to be stroking…" he said suggestively, his hand trailing lower.

"Naughty." Steven grinned up at him, eyes sparkling in amusement. Brendan heard a low, humming noise.

"Are ye purring?!"

"No! It's me phone!" Steven shifted a little, pulling his phone from his pocket. "It's Leanne." He whispered to Brendan before answering.

"What does she want?"

Steven moved out of his lap, sitting up straight. "Slow down, I can't understand you. What's wrong?" Steven paused, his expression unreadable. Brendan began to feel tense. His hand hovered over Steven's arm, unsure of whether to grasp him in panic or pull him close in fear.

"What is it?" He hissed.

"Doug's missing." Steven explained to him quietly. "Right but what am I supposed to do, Leanne? I'm not in London!" He pressed his lips together in agitation, considering. "Alright! I have an idea, bear with me." He hung up, chewing on his bottom lip.

"What idea?" Brendan asked quickly.

"You won't like it."

"Just tell me."

Steven took a deep breath. "I should call Walker."

Brendan took a moment to process this. "No."

"What else can I do?"

"Why do ye even have his number?" Brendan asked, trying to calm his voice.

Steven stood up, hands twitching in agitation. "He gave me it."

"What for?" Brendan asked sharply.

"In case anything happened to Doug and now look…" Steven stared at him reproachfully. "What else can I do?"

"He's not to be trusted." Brendan said, bite to his voice.

"I know that, but he'll find Doug, won't he?"

"How do ye even know that?"

"You would find me." Steven said simply. Brendan found himself at a loss to respond. "I'll text him then, if that's easier."

"I guess." Brendan said, slumping back down on the sofa.

Steven called Leanne back first for the name of the club and then his fingers were moving carefully over the buttons, composing a text.

"How do you spell this?" Steven asked in frustration, showing Brendan the word in question.

"Here," Brendan took the phone carefully out of his hands. "Let me." He finished the message, swallowing his anger at having to send it. "Can we…?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"Course." Steven said, dazed. He curled up beside Brendan on the sofa once more. Brendan wrapped his arms around him tightly.

"Ye promised ye know."

"But you're here, so I'm hardly keeping it quiet."

"Ye wouldn't do that, would ye? Keep it quiet?"

"No." Steven said, laying his head against Brendan's chest. "We're past all that now."

"Glad to hear it." Brendan murmured, kissing the top of his head. "Can we finish watching the men with their cocks out now?"

"Sure. That one's pretty fit actually."

Brendan tilted his head, stony faced.

Steven laughed, giving him a sloppy kiss. "Now who's jealous?"

Xxx

Walker stared at the hotel wall darkly, hating the silence in the air and how it suffocated him. His fingers itched to reach out and call Doug but he knew it would be pointless. He needed to give the boy some space if he was ever going to come back to him. He had to, didn't he? They were joined now, inseparable. Walker couldn't imagine a life without him, didn't think he'd survive it.

As if on cue, his phone buzzed with life. He held it reverently in front of him, frowning when he saw who the message was from. Once he opened it however he was rising from his bed with the swiftness he was fortunate enough to possess, darting out of the door and into the night within moments.

It didn't take him long to locate the right club. Thankfully it was on the east side of London, like he was. He decided against going inside; he didn't think he could face the belligerence of Leanne and Texas. Ste had told him they'd already checked inside. Walker guessed Doug had gone outside for some air, especially if he'd been drinking. Walker swallowed down the rage that threatened to overpower him, another reason to avoid the girls. He couldn't comprehend how someone could be so thoughtless.

Pushing his own feelings aside, he began searching around the back of the club, checking dark corners for any sign of Doug. He was already frustrated, cursing himself and cursing Brendan for this. If he hadn't left him, this wouldn't have happened. If Brendan hadn't told him, Doug would still be with him. He abandoned all hope of reasonableness; right now he could kill the Irishman, Doug's words be damned.

After an extensive search of the perimeter of the club, Walker checked the nearby alleyways. He didn't have to look very far; Doug was sprawled in a heap down one right beside the club. Walker rushed towards him, hesitant to move him in case he was injured.

"Doug? Can you hear me?" He asked firmly. He felt at his neck, heart thumping in agony. "Please, no." He whispered, fearing the worst. Thankfully he felt the beat underneath his fingertips. He breathed out a sigh of relief, turning Doug's body into the recovery position; he was fortunate he hadn't vomited and choked.

He debated calling an ambulance but Doug seemed okay, just unconscious. He felt his arms and legs tentatively, satisfying himself that he wasn't injured anywhere. He carefully scooped him up into his arms, ignoring the way his knees locked under the weight. Doug was much smaller than him but Walker wasn't exactly the weight lifting type; he preferred activities like yoga.

Leanne and Texas were outside the club when he turned the corner. They rushed towards them, anxious and fearful.

"Where's your hotel?" Walker asked them briskly before they could say anything.

"We got a B&B just up the road." Texas said weakly, clearly the braver one of the two.

"Let's go." Walker said bluntly, hoisting Doug closer into his arms.

"Is he okay?" Leanne practically squeaked.

"Fine, just unconscious. How much did you let him drink?" Walker couldn't hide the contempt from his voice and Leanne's demeanour changed to one of defence.

"Hey, don't put this on us! He wouldn't have been drinking himself to death if it wasn't for you!"

"Leanne!" Texas hissed in warning.

"What?"

"I just want to get him somewhere safe and warm." Walker said through gritted teeth.

"It's not far." Texas said calmly, glaring at Leanne.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. The woman running the B&B looked less than impressed at their entry, grumbling about curfews. Walker gave her a steady look and she soon silenced, allowing them to go upstairs.

Walker laid Doug carefully in one of the beds, pulling the covers over him and pushing the hair back from his forehead.

"Can I trust you to watch over him tonight?" He asked the girls, not looking at them.

"Well-" Leanne began angrily but Texas cut her off.

"Of course."

"Good." Walker straightened, his eyes not leaving Doug's face. "Do not tell him I was here, or that I found him."

"Why not?" Leanne asked. Walker turned to her, eyes piercing. It didn't seem to faze her. She crossed her arms haughtily and didn't break eye contact. Walker respected that.

"We aren't on the best terms, I don't want to complicate an already delicate situation."

"To put it lightly." Leanne huffed. Texas shot her a glare.

"Thank you for finding him." She said nervously, pulling Leanne back. She was clearly afraid of him. From what Walker had heard, she'd had her fair share of psycho's.

"I didn't do it for you." He said coldly.

"No, I know." Texas said quickly. "We didn't realise he'd left the club."

"Right." Walker said, sharp edge to his voice. He decided to leave before he lost his temper. "Take this." He said, writing out the address of his hotel on a piece of scrap paper. "Just in case anything goes wrong."

Texas took it from him silently.

"Don't let Doug see it."

They nodded, not saying another word as he left the room, shutting the door quietly after him.

Xxx

Doug stirred in the middle of the night, as far as he could tell. The sky was tinged with lighter blue; morning hadn't yet broken. He'd only woken because his stomach was in agony. He hastened to get to the bathroom, spilling the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He rested his head against the cold surface of the lid, eyes squeezed shut.

"Doug?" It was Texas. Her hair was ruffled and she was wearing pyjamas with pandas on them. Doug found himself smiling.

"Hey, you."

"Are you alright?" She asked, kneeling beside him to stare anxiously into his face. "I'm so sorry."

"What happened?" Doug asked. He had no idea how he'd gotten back to the B he only remembered being in the alleyway and then nothing after that.

"We found you." Texas began uncertainly.

"How did you get me back here?" Doug asked.

"We had help." Texas said, her eyes darting away from Doug's face.

"Who?"

"The… bouncer." Texas said after a small pause. Doug frowned at her.

"I've known you for years, Texas. You think I don't know when you're lying?"

Texas stared guiltily at the floor, her hands wringing together.

"He said we couldn't tell you."

"Who?" Doug pressed.

"Walker." Texas said so quietly that for a moment Doug thought he had misheard her.

"Why was he here?" Doug asked once he'd processed what she was saying.

"Ste contacted him."

"Ste?"

"I don't know why or how, but we called Ste for help and then he asked for the club's name and address and next thing we knew Walker was carrying you in his arms-"

"He was what?"

"We had no choice, Doug! You weren't moving and we couldn't find you in the first place. Ste thought it was the best solution."

Doug could hardly believe what he was hearing. "And where's Simon now?"

"Back at his hotel I guess." Texas said, shrugging.

"Did he leave an address?"

Texas' eyes flashed with fear.

"Give it to me."

"He said not to."

"Texas…"

"You saw what happened to Lynsey! I can't get involved with another killer." Texas said, speaking in a rush. Doug was rendered speechless. "I'm sorry, Doug but you're better off without him."

"I know that." Doug said, voice softer. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Texas breathed a sigh of relief. "Can we go back to bed then?"

"Course." Doug smiled, washing his mouth out in the sink first. "Thanks for letting me have the other bed by the way."

"It's fine, I might have to come in with you soon though, Leanne kicks in her sleep." Texas laughed, her dark eyes sparkling even in the darkness.

"You don't need to tell me that. I'm just glad you aren't snoring."

"I don't snore." Texas said sharply.

"Sure." Doug smirked, climbing back into bed. He laid on his back, eyes wide open. He waited a while until he could hear Texas' soft breathing across from him. He threw the covers off then, carefully locating her jacket and rifling through the pockets until he found the address.

He zipped his coat up quietly, feeling guilty but knowing that he couldn't possibly leave things there. He slipped quietly out of the B&B, suspecting that the automatic lock would keep him out when he came back. He didn't know what he'd do about that.

Luckily Walker's hotel wasn't far. Doug wondered if he'd known Doug was here and planned accordingly. He hoped not. The sun was beginning to rise which was fortunate. The streets were fairly empty; it seemed to be the one time of day where London slept. Doug found the hotel easily enough. He went through the doors, unsurprised when he saw the desk unmanned. He checked the slip of paper for the room number, taking the elevator up.

He didn't know what to do when he arrived at the right door. He took a deep breath and knocked sharply.

"Who is it?" Came a muffled voice from inside.

"It's Doug." Doug said, much more confident than he felt. The door opened suddenly, making him topple into the room.

"Sorry." Walker said, holding him steady. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't blame the girls, I left while they were sleeping." Doug said straight away.

"I wouldn't hurt them, Doug. They're your friends."

"It didn't stop you before." Doug said, voice dull. Walker stared at him like he'd just slapped him round the face.

"I deserved that." He said eventually. "But you still haven't told me what you're doing here."

Doug wasn't entirely sure himself but he stood his ground, tried to ignore how close Walker was and how his hands were still gripping his waist from where he'd fallen through the door.

Walker took his hands away as though reading his thoughts. Doug felt cold from where he'd touched him.

"Talk to me." He said quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Doug had to stare straight ahead to calm the trembling in his limbs. The bed in front of him was not helping his resolve.

"Why did you come to the club?" He asked, trying to steady his voice.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Don't say it's because you love me. I need more than that." Doug said, avoiding looking at Walker's face.

"But that is the reason." Walker said imploringly. "I just want to look after you."

"I don't want looking after. I want you to be honest with me." Doug replied calmly.

"I'm trying, sweetheart."

"I want you to treat me like a person, no more 'sweetheart'." Doug said firmly. He chanced a look at Walker's face, then wished he hadn't.

"If it bothers you of course I'll stop." Walker said reluctantly. "You're just so precious to me, I want to compliment you."

"Give me something real, not something artificial."

Walker stared at him blankly. "What do you mean?"

"Figure it out!" Doug shouted suddenly, anger rising.

"What do you want from me?" Walker stood then, towering over him. "You know I adore you, what more do you want?"

"I want…" Doug grasped the air, unable to put it into words.

"Do you want me to tell you why I love you? That it isn't just your beauty, which is mesmerising by the way, but how good you are, how pure. How you see the good in people regardless of what they've done. The way you try, even with people who don't deserve it. The way you look at me with that silly smile on your face and how your eyes light up when I enter the room. The way your body moulds so perfectly against mine, how you arch and writhe beneath me and completely give in. How soft your lips are and your skin. The way you blush and stammer when you're nervous. The way you took me in when I had no one, and loved me knowing full well I was no good for you. The way you still confront me now, knowing how dangerous I am. I love everything about you. I can't help that. And I'm not sorry for it."

The air was thick with tension between them. Doug had the most overwhelming desire to throttle him senseless, but instead he launched himself at him, kissing him with a fierceness he never had before.

Walker took a hold of him like he was born to do this, pulling the both of them back towards the bed. Doug straddled him, holding Walker's wrists above his head in a vice-like grip. He kissed him hard, teeth clattering together with the intensity of it. He pulled back to smile a little sheepishly but Walker pulled his head back down, delving his tongue into his mouth.

Doug smoothed his hands over Walker's skin, kissing his neck and chest almost too quickly, accidentally biting the skin often .Walker groaned low in the back of his throat, tugging at Doug's hair almost painfully. Their clothes were practically ripped from their bodies in their haste, hands exploring and rough. This was not the time for tenderness. Doug was still furious with him but he wanted him more than he hated him. There was a fire burning in his belly that he couldn't ignore and he was desperate to feel something again, even if it left him hollow and broken afterwards.

Walker attempted to flip their positions but Doug was having none of it. He clamped his thighs around Walker's waist, sucking on two of his fingers before spreading himself and fingering his entry. Walker watched him with dark desire, itching to touch but knowing that Doug wouldn't allow it.

He spread himself wide, fingers fumbling in their haste to prepare himself. He had never wanted to be entered so badly and now with Walker stroking his cock with both hands and kissing his chest with breath hot and ragged he was even more overwhelmed with the need.

It was almost savage the way he threw his head back and growled. Walker was all over him, surrounding every possible sense. He could feel his touch, smell his scent, taste the sex in the air. He pushed him roughly onto the bed, caught between the desire to make him continue because of how good it felt and wanting it to stop lest he lose himself completely.

He spread himself wider, lowering himself onto Walker's stiff cock. He groaned with the way he fit himself around him, like it was made for his body. Walker's eyes rolled back, biting his lip hard as Doug slowly levered himself all the way down. It felt good to be the one in control and Doug relished the noises he elicited from Walker. He had never felt something so intense in all his life and he wondered vaguely how he would continue afterwards, knowing this was as good as it got.

Walker gripped his hips, pushing Doug up to allow himself to thrust into him. Doug braced himself carefully, palms aching with the effort of holding himself up. They didn't stop for a moment and Doug could feel the slow burn of their heat igniting inside of him.

He came so suddenly his vision blurred, or perhaps it was down to his earlier sickness. Walker was like a sickness; something he couldn't cast aside or shake off. But he was also something Doug craved, like a drug. He would always want to go back for more and he hated himself for it.

He clenched as he came, sending Walker to his own orgasm; his voice raw by now with the noises he'd been making.

They lay panting together after, bodies slick with sweat. Doug rolled off quickly, not wanting the closeness to cloud his judgement. He pulled his clothes back on after he'd cleaned himself off and without another word, left the room.