I don't want to write this chapter. Partially because I know it will be the last, so I will be done with my precious, little Asian family story after I write it, and of course, partially because I don't know what I'm doing. Hopefully we don't have another chapter nine situation. But just because I tend to never finish things (I have so many netflix serieses [multiple series?] going on with like 3 episodes left that I just REFUSE to watch till the next season comes out) doesn't mean I can leave you guys hangin' for the rest of time. So, here it goes. The end! *cries*
It was requested that I toss Russia into the mix here, but I just don't see him fitting in! I'm sorry!
I stood silently, starring at a carving in China's wooden front door, and drumming my fingertips against the side of the delicately wrapped box I was holding. Today was yet another one of China's birthdays, and I knew that on the other side of that door would be Japan, China, Hong Kong, and Korea. My family. This was the first time I would be seeing China since my independence riots began to get bad. I know I should've come sooner; should've tried to spend more time with him considering everything, but I just couldn't.
"Happy Birthday, China," I whispered in practice to the door, "here you go!" My arms extended towards the door, giving 'China' his gift. I sighed and eyed the mahogany. Just knock Tai. It will be fine! The bubbling in my stomach seemed not to agree with this statement. Okay. On three. Just knock on three. Remember what Korea used to say, it just takes one second of courage to get something done. On three. One. Two...
Two.
TWO.
THREE!
...
...
FOUR!
DANGIT TAIWAN! I sighed, shut my eyes, and forced a fist's knuckles to rap at the door twice. Come on Taiwan, what was that? I don't even think they heard you with that wimpy kno-
The door opened. Two smiles met my stunned expression; one of which being the bold, bright one of my older brother, Korea, the other of which being the odd, little face that mimics his in the tuft of unruly hair he had. He greeted me in his language and stepped to the side, gesturing with a big sweep of the arm for me to come in. Upon walking in, I was overwhelmed with nostalgia. The gentle creak of the floor board right near the door, the crisp cold that would touch your feet as you peeled off your shoes foot by foot, the smell of steamed buns and beans, the warm, yellow light reflecting off of every wall, the paintings, the dragon etchings, and all the warmth of the home was still exactly as I remembered it to a 'T'. I found myself lingering around as a trudged down the hall, running a finger across a certain dent in the wall caused by a certain, little, stoic-faced boy's head banging into it.
"Are you coming or not?" Korea cocked his head to the side as he asked me, him having already ran to the end of the hall.
"Ah, yes." My reminiscence was cut short as I staggered down the seemingly endless hall, heart hammering in my head. The hallway at the end opened up into the fairly large living room, where my other brothers were sitting. The room itself was dripping in feng shui and the light of sunset. The large windows had the blinds and curtains drawn and one to the far left was open letting in the sounds of birds settling down, crickets searching for mates, and water flowing in a goldfish pond near China's main garden. A large couch sat in the center of the room with two, yellow armchairs on either side of it and a table with plenty of seating space around it in the form of floored pillows and cushions sat in the middle. Korea ran over to a purple one of these said cushions and sat by Hong Kong, leaning into his shoulder as he scrolled rapidly through some screen or another on his phone. Japan sat off to the side of them, sipping tea and refraining from speaking. To my surprise, Vietnam was there too, and she was in the process of walking over to me, arms outstretched by the time I'd noticed.
"It has been a while!" I cried, pulling her tight into a hug.
"A while too long," she commented, a rare smile creeping across her otherwise serious face, and a hand rubbing my back. When she pulled away and smiled at me, I noticed who she had been seated on the couch next to. Thailand. He had been trying to coax a baby elephant from under the end table with a helping hand from Macau. How they had managed to convince China to allow the thing in his house was beyond me. And speaking of...
"Where's China?"
"Oh, he's in the kitchen," my elder cooed back, brushing a stray brown hair off her cheek. My fingers patted the side of the box and I felt the sensation of birds, bees, and butterflies wising around and past each other in my stomach,as if in a race to the surface. My face seemed to redden slightly and I couldn't help but toy with the ends of my hair with my free hand. It had been two or three years since I had seen China with anything even remotely pleasant to say to him, and I was not above admitting to myself that I either didn't want to or was too scared to see him. I found myself smiling never the less.
"I'll go and give him my present!" I gulped, and nearly choked on how dry my throat was.
"Actually," Vietnam gestured to the side of the room where a small collection of bags and boxes caught my eye, "he wants to wait till after we eat, so you can leave it over there." Saved.
"You ought to greet him though." Crap.
"Okay." Gingerly, I set my box atop another, this one also wrapped in red paper, and swiveled on my foot towards the archway leading to the kitchen. With the oil popping and pans sizzling, China may not have been able to hear us. He may not have known that I had arrived, and I presumed that that was the only reason I hadn't been thrown out yet. I knew exactly what would happen. I would walk into that kitchen, smile, and say hello. China would twirl around, see my face, and his own would twist into disgust and anger. 'How dare you come into my home?!' he would cry towards me, 'I mean, the gall of you teenagers!'. Then, before I'd even had a chance to speak or object, he would grab me by the collar, or perhaps by the hair, march me back though the house to the front door, and literally throw me out. He may even toss my gift back at me and scoff in my face as the door slammed.
The last thing I had said to China was that I hated him. It was true, in that moment I hated what he represented and every fiber, governmental liability, and emperor of his country for keeping mine from , I had never hated China himself. I'd never told him that, and the look on his face as I hollered at him was enough to assume he wasn't a mind reader and didn't know my true intent. Accepting my fate, I clinched my fists and slid over to the curved opening of our- China's - kitchen. Just as I remembered, the wooden planks changed direction on the floor from the two rooms, and the smell of what would be another delicious recipe to add to my brother's arsenal wafted towards me. I stood there and stared at him for a moment. China bounced about the stove with his back to me, from pot to pot, poking his chopsticks in and string this, flipping that, or checking those. The warm lighting of the room shown the brightest on him, giving the illusion of a golden halo around his red-silk covered frame. I listed to the pitter patter of his feet lightly tapping the ground and the sizzle of the pans before us. The room was hot, very hot in comparison to the others in the house. China tended to ignore proper exhaust when cooking, saying the AC sucks up all his flavor. At that thought, I laughed, almost loud enough to be heard. Almost. Amidst my panic that China had noticed me, he quelled my fear by beginning to hum.
I recognize that tune. I know this song. Images of China carrying my exhausted frame back to bed as he sang that song flashed in my mind. Myself and my brothers snuggling up beneath the covers as our dearest sang to us in his beautiful, high, and elegant voice. What where the lyrics? Oh the lyrics...? Just then China opened his mouth, restarting the melody, and began to sing softly to himself in a refined Chinese.
"Since the beginning of the heavens and earth,
countless soldiers Spun history by overlapping their lives, aru.
On the banks of the Yangtze, there is a single caged dove.
In front of the Great Wall, the sun rises again!
Selfishly, I think of the past, how nostalgic.
How are you?
"My body hurts all ove-" [1]
He spun around, as if to chop the onion resting on the cutting board, and in seeing me allowed his voice to die down. To say he was surprised was an understatement.
"Hello, Gege!" I said to him, bowing slightly and trying to force a smile. He gazed at me a moment longer, eyes wide, before his own smile formed. The stun his his deep, brown orbs faded and twisted into delight.
"What a surprise! Taiwan has come! Hello to you too!" Was it sarcasm? He set down his ladle and waltzed around the island in the center of the kitchen, smile never faltering. Must have been sarcasm. Here he comes right now to kick me out. I averted my eyes and let my hands receded into the depths of my pink top. Two, gentle hands placed themselves on my shoulders and spun me around before giving me a curt push back out the doorway I came in.
"It's hot in here, just go sit with everyone till I'm done cooking!" And with that, China spun and skipped back to the island, picking up a cutting knife on his way. I must've looked like a deer caught in headlights because I certainly felt like one.
"You're not...mad?" He of course, didn't respond to my insignificant, unheard whisper and kept right on chopping. How could he possibly not be angry with me, or saddened by me? After everything that's been going on. Everything I did. I wasn't even going to come tonight! I thought for sure that he would...That Japan, Korea and I wouldn't be welcome. Why isn't he- My attention was caught by a pale hand patting the ground next to him - it was Japan inviting me to sit. Oh right, Japan is still here. I raised an internal eyebrow as I began to walk over to him. WHY is Japan still here? China and Japan hate each other. I could see Japan showing up to try and not be rude or whatever, but China should have long since told him off. I took my rest on the ground and joined my siblings.
"Japan, what a surprise!"
"What is a surprise?" He had really tried to show genuine curiosity in his eyes but all I saw was blank.
"That you're here. Considering you and Gege hate each other."
"China-san," not Gege, "and I do not hate each other. I suppose can be a little irritating for him from time to time, and vice versa, but I only hate so many people."
"Wha-" before I could fully respond, Korea tapped my shoulder and made a ridiculous face at me. That face was met by a whack with a paddle Vietnam had conveniently brought with her for reinforcement. I found myself unable to avoid being trapped blissfully in a round of story telling, laughing, keeping Korea and Hong Kong from burning the place down, and laughing all over again. Time flew right by until China made his appearance. He came smiling out of the kitchen, a wok full of food balanced on his head and several others on his hands on arms before teetering over to us. He slid the dishes off his arms before removing the stir-fry from his head and skipping back into the kitchen for a fair share of plates, chopsticks, bowls, water, and alcohol. He served, we clapped, he prayed, and we ate.
The aromas of the dishes before me overwhelmed my senses. China was a master cook - just as good as France or Italy claimed to be and no one could take that from him. Even Japanese food could pale in comparison to China doing his absolute best. And this, as far as I was aware, was twelve steps beyond his best. The rice was perfectly springy, the meat was perfectly succulent, and the vegetables were perfectly crisp.
"China," I tried to politely force out while spooning mapo tofu [2] over my rice, "this is really, really delicious." Korea and Vietnam nodded in agreement, while Korea began screaming about how (somehow) China's cooking skills originated in Korea.
"Is it really?" he asked ignoring the loudest of his underlings. Even Hong Kong put away his eternal indifference to compliment the dumplings. China smiled, and his golden halo seemed to expand as his cheeks squished upwards. It was the kind of smile that you could feel in your toes, the kind that always - and I mean always - earned a room full of smiles back.
"Good, good," he commented, clasping his hands together and laughing adorably, "eat more then! I did not make food to throw it out the window!" We giggled at China's infamous line, the one he used to use on us when we just couldn't finish the last mound of food on out plates. The line that guilt-ed me into eating myself sick what felt like a million new years holidays ago and guilt-ed China into rubbing my back and holding my hair for me as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the trash can.
But eat we did. Every last bite. Korea even found himself fighting with Japan of all people for the last steamed bun. I chuckled and whispered to Thailand that my bets were on Korea doing something dirty, like stabbing Japan with a chopstick, but Japan still winning the dumpling anyways. Much to Thailand's poor wallet's dismay, that is exactly how it happened, but with Korea throwing soy sauce in Japan's face instead of stabbing him.
"Gao chenme gui?!" [3] China screeched out from across the room as his first found dripped in the brown liquid, munching on his prize.
"Korea did it," my older brother ever so... immaturely called, pointing at his competitor.
"DID NOT!"
"DID TOO!" It was Hong Kong who had yelled back.
"DID NOT"
"DID TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"NO"
"YES!"
"AIYAA, SHUT UP!" a red faced China glared them both down. His intimidation did not last long, however, as Macau- who I'm sure was only trying to be comforting- ended up in this debacle an unfortunate bi-standard, and patted China on the shoulder. Biggest mistake of the night. Apparently, that was just TOO close to China's 'beloved breasts' and Korea lost it, springing himself across the table, tackling Macau to the ground all the while yelling incohearant obscenities.
"NO ONE TOUCHES! THESE ARE MINE!" he cried, groping his eldest brother's chest.
"AND THESE TOO! MINE!" he had now slid across the floor and pinched at Japan's nipples. The generally calm, collected, and stoic nation actually squealed and seemed to teleport across the room.
"P-p-please refrain from t-touching me there!" his face, already lit bright as a candy apple, seemed to redden even MORE at that statement, "OR ANYWHERE!"
"Bollocks Gege, you know you like it. All he needs is a schoolgirl uniform from your Tokyo Kinky magazine and you'd pounce," Hong Kong stated oh so matter-a-factly with his usual 'I-don't-give-a-crap' of a facial expression plastered on. Japan blushed deeper still, seeming to be lost in thought. I'll have to get him to draw me a doujin of that later.
"HONG KONG! That is very inappropriate! Where do you get that mouth from little boy?" China wagged a finger at his youngest son who glanced up from his phone for only a second to say his 'mum' talked like that. "Why do I have to suffer because England fails as parent?"
"He doesn't fail entirely. He told me once he'd tear my eyes out if I lit fire crackers in his house. Haven't done it since."
"Oh sure," China smirked, waving around a suddenly spawned bamboo stick, "threats are all peaches and cream! But wait till I actually beat your a-"
The banging of a wooden paddle on the table in the room silenced us all.
"China," Vietnam snapped through gritted teeth, "why don't you open some of your presents?". The bamboo dissipated as quickly as it came and China dove for the carefully wrapped and bagged pile in the corner. He gingerly tossed one in the air before catching it again. It was a small, wooden box painted green with a golden dragon on the top. China slid the top off and pulled out a folded sheet of paper, flipping it open to read.
"It's from Macau." The man blushed and pushed up his glasses as China glanced into the box and gasped. "Macau, I can't ta-"
"I won it all in one night. It's no big deal!"
"But I-"
"No buts. It's yours."
China smiled and tucked the note back into the box before closing it. He dared not tell us how much Macau had won, but judging from the size of the box and the fact that it looked stuffed, the casino had been nice to my brother. The next present opened came out of a grey bag.
"JAPAN!"
"And Vietnam-san"
"You two...this must have been so expensive!" China pulled out of the bag a small, authentic, hello kitty doll and a few strips of paper. He stared at the paper admiringly. "I can't believe there even IS a Kitty themed amusement park. I wonder who I will take with me. Thank you so much!" He hugged them both, much to their mutual displeasure, and continued on with his pile. Present after present astonished him. Squeals were heard, hugs were distributed, and thanks were received. One particularly taxing squeal was the girlish one China released upon seeing the effects of Hong Kong's present - his knock off Hello Kitty doll.
"Now, Shinatty, roll over." The small cat doll stared at him for a moment before doing what it was told, sliding from it's belly to it's back and standing again. China clapped, tears in his eyes, and began to kick his feet excitedly. "Shinatty, go to China." Another lull as the doll looked at him, before it turned around and walked to it's owners' shaking hands. China snuggled it to his face and screamed in glee.
"How did you-"
"England placed a spell on it. It should last a day or two more." After screaming, rolling around, trying commands of his own, screaming and rolling some more when he got the doll to smile at him, and then hugging the life out of Hong Kong, China moved on to my present. My dainty, little, red wrapped box was the last thing to be opened coincidentally enough. He let Shinatty helped him. Slowly, bit by bit, the red rapping paper made its way from the box to the trash pile on the floor until all that remained were flaps of cardboard that simply needed to be flipped open. Upon doing so, and grinning towards me, China leaned forward and looked into the box. His face paled considerably as he released a small gasp. He raised a hand to his mouth as the other reached into the box carefully.
"I know it's nothing big. It's no dancing Shinatty, but I..." my voice lowered to a shamed whisper, "I thought you'd like it." My fingers suddenly became very interesting and I found myself not able to focus on anything but them twisting around each other in my lap. I squirmed a bit with my position on the floor and Japan placed a supportive hand on my shoulder. The silence was killing me, but China just continued to stare at my simple little gift before he finally reacted. He flipped it open. The little album I had purchased with a glistening, golden dragon and the hand written phrase "For Papa-Panda" on the cover was finally open. He flipped a page, and another, one hand over his mouth the whole time as his eyes slowly softened. I noticed his cheeks push upwards under his hand,
"I do like it. I love it." He set the book on the table, allowing everyone to see, and flipped again to a page of Korea, covered from head to toe in flower as a small child. He was crying and Hong Kong was laughing at the camera. Another flip showed a new image of myself and Japan looking down at the photographer while perched up in a tree together. Another flip and this time a young Tibet was bowing to a young Vietnam. The album was all the photos of us I had managed to find and scour up. We leaned in, laughing at each other and blushing at embarrassing photos of ourselves in baths or struggling somehow. We aged as the book flipped on, showing a teen aged Japan brushing my hair, followed by a teen aged Korea waving triumphantly at the camera as his newest legitimate invention rested in his hand. By the time we reached the end of the book, China noticed the last page was blank and looked up at me curiously before, at my humble request, Japan whipped out a camera. It was one of the older ones that printed the photo as soon as you took it. He (somehow) slid it onto a selfie stick and held it out before us.
"Everyone smile."
Click.
The page rustled as Japan shook it, transforming it from black to beautiful, all before lifting the clear protective sheet and sticking it to the adhesive surface inside the album. The final page showed a picture of us all on China's birthday, huddled around our eldest brother squeezing him in tight and smiling to the edges of our faces. He stared at the picture grinning, blushing, tears welling in his big, brown eyes. One slipped down his face, initiating an 'awww' from myself and Thailand, and a hug from all of us. Even Japan ended up roped into it as China giggled and cried at the same time.
"China, what's wrong?" Shinatty had asked it once we pulled away as she looked at her owner with a confused wrinkle in her fur where a pair of eyebrows would normally go.
"Oh nothing," China wiped a tear away and struggled to speak through his laughter, "I just forgot about...this feeling...of us all being together." He looked up at his family through teary eyes and raised an over-sized sleeve to his mouth in embarrassment.
"Thank you for the gifts. For this whole day!" He sniffled, then chuckled again. "I loved it. I love you."
The room seemed to brighten at China's words. His reddened, puffy cheeks were enveloped in laughter as his halo widened. As if in a choir, we all cried back in unison, "We love you too, China."
The warm feeling that had snuggled up to my heart stayed there for the rest of the night and I couldn't stop smiling. Not while we helped clean up the dishes and presents' trash, not while China put one of his gifts on his head - cat ears - and watched Shinatty stare at his 'new form' in confusion. Not when everyone sat outside on the porch, talking quietly among-st themselves and watching the rabbit in the moon. I felt like it was holding an egg, but with my family around that was not the kind of fight you wanted to start. China and I had slipped inside to cut up some of our favorite - dragon-fruit - for the group.
"China," the warmth near my heart began to loose me, "do your really...like...care about us?" He set his large knife down and turned to face me.
"China, we all...with all these wars have..." he shushed me.
"And most of us haven't apologi-" A hand was pressed to my cheek as those bright eyes comforted mine.
"Taiwan, of course I do. You are my family," he cooed back in a soft tone.
"But...we..."
"...Do you... not want me to?"
"NO! I just...no...I don't get it." I didn't understand how China could possibly claim he loved us. As happy as it had made me to hear my brother utter those words to me for the first time in a long time, it felt like a lie. Our family had fallen apart, on so many countless occasions, in so many ways. Japan, as far as I was aware, didn't even consider himself apart of it any more. Hong Kong was basically the spawn of the English, I wanted more than anything to separate my government from China's, Korea was split in two with struggles of his and his brothers' own, and China was hurt. He must have been hurt. He must have held grudges. He talks about hating Japan all the time. He...must...hate us all then too. I rested my hand on top of his on my cheek and looked up trying to find the words to explain.
"I'm a 4700 year old man Taiwan."
"4701"
"Yes," he chuckled and rubbed his thumb on my face, "4701. I have seen so many people come and go in all my years. I've been hurt by so many of my friends in the past and in all my decades and centuries and eras of living, I've come to understand something." he removed his hand and glanced outside at his family leaning on one another. "War will get in our way. It leads us as countries to do hurtful, crazy things. And...yes, we're different now because of it. But...even if we're different countries, and our words our different, and our Kanji is different, and I'm in pain because of you...I...I want to always be with you all. I want to be able to look up at night and know you're looking at the same moon as me. I don't WANT to hate you. I can't. I don't, and I won't. I love my family and that will never change, Tai. No matter what, happens. You were all always there for me when I needed you - wither you realized it or not - and I have to...WANT to return the favor. I care too much for all of you not to." [4]
It was the genuine affection and joy on his face that told me he had meant what he said. The butterfly race in my belly confirmed that I'd meant what I had said too. I loved him, very much. I loved how strong he was, for me, for my siblings, for his people, but never just for himself. I loved how he always wanted to teach us something new and watch us grow. I loved how he was always around when we needed him regardless of the circumstance. I loved how he was quirky and weird about some things, but wise and elegant in his handling of others. I loved his shrill voice, his girlish stature, and his exaggerated Chinese persona. Sure, Taiwan hated China, but I loved my older brother - the first bit of family I had ever met or had. And he shared an affection and caring for me as well. The thought of that lit my heart's internal flame.
"Okay. No matter what." I held out the shortest finger on my hand, "promise." China interlocked his pinky with mine and grinned from ear to ear.
"Now then, these ones aren't going to serve themselves," he commented, gesturing to the fruit. "Help me out here." And so, my family sat out that night and ate dragon fruit. We had no similar blood, were barely tied together by linage, and had done too many damaging things to one another to count. The only thing that seemed to pull us together was the warm smile, deep, chocolaty eyes, and golden halo of our Giant, Red Dragon. I leaned to the left and placed my head on China's shoulder, taking another bite of my snack.
"Promise," I whispered, stifling a small laugh from him.
Promise.
Don't you just love the feeling of writing something and constantly having to stop like, wow, this is not working. Yea, that was this chapter! Especially the...entire thing actually! I wanted it to be funny but also heartfelt. I wanted China to love his family, but I didn't want to imply a creepy incest ship here because I have been VERY CLEAR on making them family. I mean, I'm cool with incest ships in Hetalia specifically because, well, they're not really siblings (although it is still creepy being with someone who raised you and is 200+ years your elder...) but that was NOT the goal here. I hope...this came across okay. I don't know. Shoot me. Or don't, I kind of like being alive. As of right now, this is the end of my story. I've written over 20k words for it and am very proud of myself not only for finishing but for making it somewhat decent-ish in the process. Thank you SO MUCH for reading this whole, ridiculous, disaster of a tale. Thank you for follows, for reviews, for casual reads, and for getting all the way to the final chapter. I love you *blows kisses*. I hope this wasn't too corny or awful.
More Japan to come (he will be the focus of my next story, almost guaranteed). Bye guys! Thanks for joining me on this wild ride! :)
Foot Notes
1- LYRICS from Aiyaa 4000 years. That song is making more appearances than expected in this story, but it was basically what made me start to love the Asian family and want to write about it.
2- I googled Chinese food and that was the first thing to come up that didn't look disgusting to me. I'm sure authentic (AKA not panda express) Chinese food is super delicious, but it looks just...odd compared to Americans' toned down version of everything.
3- WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS ARE YOU DOING?!
4- Sort of a Lyric grab from aiyaa 4000 years (they're out of order and a little different).
Also, IDK if anyone noticed, but the story started it's first and last chapters with (roughly, I had to make some changes once the story altered itself) the same paragraph. I'm just cool like that. Parallelism.