Yay! First time ever actually updating on the day I said I would! (:

10. Black Beauty

She's a tight red dress and a purposeful walk.

She's blonde, pretty, slim. And she's at Edward's door, knocking and knocking and knocking.

Rose thinks it's so funny that she tells me we're taking a break to watch.

"Who is she?" I ask, watching the girl from the second level.

Rose leans against the railing carefully, cradling her swelling stomach. "Tanya. She's one of Edward's whores."

"His whores," I repeat numbly.

"His whores," Rose confirms, nodding. Her makeup-caked blue eyes slip over to me slyly. "I told you he was a pig. He's just one of the sneaky ones, the kind who's never once been hurtful to a woman's face, who's never once hit a woman or anything. His thing is just disappearing. That's what he does when he gets tired of them."

I stare down at Tanya, who's getting more desperate by the moment. "That's cruel," I say.

Rose shrugs, already growing bored with the show. She starts back for the room we've been cleaning. "All the girls in this town know who he is and what he does—except you, I guess—so it's their gamble if they want to sleep with him."

I don't say anything.

I somehow manage to toss the trash bag into the dumpster. It's too heavy for Rose, of course, with the baby. But it's twice my size, and it takes me a good fifteen minutes to finish the job.

I'm tired and achy by the time it's done, and I slowly shuffle around the motel, to the front, where Tanya sits on the curb smoking a cigarette.

"Hey," she says, popping to her feet as soon as I come into view. "Hey, do you know Edward? Edward Cullen? He lives in 108."

I hesitate.

Tanya's heavy makeup is running in the heat. The hot, dry breeze ruffles her beauty-queen-style curls and she pushes it away furiously. "Edward Cullen?" she repeats quietly. "Do you know him?"

"Yeah," I finally say.

"Is he home?"

"No, I don't think so. He's probably at work."

Tanya just laughs, a bitter, sharp sound. She puts her hands on her hips and looks out into the distance, where the town fades away sharply and unrelenting desert takes its place.

"He's an asshole," she murmurs with conviction. "I already checked his work, and I couldn't find him there, either."

I don't know what to say, so I just keep my mouth shut.

"God, I'm so stupid." Tanya laughs again, but now the sound is all self-loathing and pain. "I knew it would be like this, but I did it anyway."

"He might just be somewhere else," I offer.

Tanya shakes her head firmly. "No. No, this town is too small. There's nowhere else he'd be. He's just fucking hiding." She turns her eyes to me, and they're the kind of broken that makes you wonder how they got that way—how she got that way.

She sort of reminds me of Mama: pretty and young but always loving the wrong things. It's a painful sort of heartbreak to think that her misplaced affections will take their toll, just like they did on my own mother. She'll waste away until there's only the shadow of a person left, and it's pure tragedy.

"I thought I could be the one to change him," Tanya tells me. "But that's what I always think, and I'm always wrong."

"I'm sorry," I say.

Tanya just sighs and shakes her head again. "It's just how life is," she replies and starts walking to her car. She doesn't look back.

"Your girlfriend came by today," I say to Edward as he walks by.

He pauses, glancing over at me with his eyebrows raised and an uncertain smile curling his mouth. "My girlfriend?"

I sit on the edge of the pool, my legs crossed Indian style and a cigarette in my hand. He towers above me, the endless night sky behind him.

"Tanya," I say.

Edward exhales and glances away from me. He shoves his hands into his pockets, pushing roughly at his jeans, making them ride low. "Oh."

I flick a little ash into an old plastic ashtray. "Rose called her your whore."

Edward kind of laughs, but the sound is a bit stiff. He drifts over and takes a seat beside me. "She's not my whore."

"Rose says you have lots of whores."

"Do you believe everything Rose says?" he asks without missing a beat. His eyes flicker over to mine curiously.

I shrug vaguely.

Edward lets out a sigh and stretches his long legs out as much as he can without them ending up in the pool. He rests his elbows on his bent knees and glances up to the sky, his breath silver-cloudy. "Rose doesn't like me very much."

"I've noticed."

He cracks a small grin at this.

But I don't find anything funny. "You hurt her."

His big eyes find mine again. "What?"

"Tanya. You hurt her real bad," I say softly, searching his gaze for something—remorse, maybe.

But he looks away before I can find anything. "I didn't mean to," he murmurs.

"It doesn't make a difference," I reply.

"I know."

There's a beat of silence, thick and awkward. He doesn't know what to say, I don't think, and I simply have nothing else to say.

"I thought it was meaningless," he says quietly, his long fingers picking at a hole in his jeans—a real, worn hole, not the kind manufactured to be cool. "But I was wrong."

I feel my stomach turn.

I'm on my feet in a heartbeat and walking towards the steps.

"Wait." I hear him get up and follow after me, but I don't turn around. "Wait, Bella." And then his fingers close around my wrist.

The touch is gentle, but the memories are not.

I'm jerking away sharply before I know it, the movement too violent and panicked to be normal. I glance back at Edward fearfully, but he's standing still, his hand still halfway extended, a look of surprised confusion etched all over him.

"Don't touch me," I whisper shakily.

His face twists in apology but his eyes go dark with realization. "I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I don't like to be touched, is all," I say in response.

He didn't mean it, I tell myself and my scared, pounding heart. He wasn't going to hurt you.

I can see he wasn't in his earnest, sad eyes.

"Okay," Edward says slowly, carefully. He makes a show of sticking his hands back in his pockets as he walks over to me gingerly. "I didn't know."

"I know," I reply quietly, embarrassment suddenly gripping me. I don't want him to know. I don't want anyone to know.

I don't want to know.

I wish I could forget it.

But I can't.

His disgusting touch and threatening voice are always there, eating at my ease. I feel ashamed and horrified by it, sickened.

"Look," Edward murmurs, his voice deep and smooth and beautiful, maybe even comforting. It draws me out of dark memories, memories of passing touches and sick whispers that make my stomach turn.

Edward's face is a thousand times different than the one I see behind my eyelids when I blink, so I try to keep my eyes open.

"Don't believe everything you hear," he says.

I stare up at him for a moment, my thoughts calming, lapsing back into vague, ever-present worry. "You should apologize to her," I finally say. "To Tanya. It's the right thing to do."

Edward sighs and nods. He chews on his bottom lip, looking away from me, his eyes a million miles away from here, in a different world or maybe just in a different life. Maybe just in the past.

But then he blinks and says, "I know." He finally meets my gaze with his, and I drown in the sorrowful depths of his eyes. "I've always known what the right thing to do is." He inhales and starts backing away. "I just have a bad habit of not doing it."

"The right thing?" I clarify.

But all he says is, "Goodnight, Bella."

I'm just curious. What do y'all think Edward's deal is? How do you feel about him? Repulsed, neutral? Do you want Bella to kinda steer clear of him for now or try to change him or what? I'd just like to know y'all's thoughts. It's always fun to read! I've been noticing most of y'all feel a certain level of sympathy towards Bella, but how do y'all feel about the rest of the characters? Anyone you hate yet? Anyone you think you might like as the story progresses? I know there isn't a ton known about all the players yet, but have patience. ;) I'll see y'all Monday! Have a great weekend!(:

Oh! And for the guest reviewer named Sherrie, you always leave such sweet reviews so I thank you! And you also spell your name the same as my mom, which is great because it's a more uncommon spelling. Anyways, thank you and God bless you, too!

oxoxox