A.N: Just a quick note to say that in this chapter I used the idea of the burning boat festival, which is in fact from One Tree Hill. I don't watch OTH but I saw one episode with the festival in and absolutely fell in love with the concept of it, and thought it would be so appropriate for Beca in this chapter. Thank you all for reading, and please keep reviewing!
Once rehearsals and classes were out of the way on Friday, Beca and Chloe packed a small suitcase each and loaded it into the back of Chloe's car. They were going to North Carolina for the weekend to spend it with the Beale family and were setting out Friday night for the two hour flight ahead of them. By the time they arrived in North Carolina it was nearing midnight and both girls were beyond exhausted as they tiptoed into the bedroom decorated by a sixteen year old Chloe. "Butterflies? Really?" Beca asked sleepily as she climbed beneath a butterfly duvet, too tired to change into pyjamas.
"What? I thought they were cool," Chloe said defensively as she stepped out of her jeans. She unhooked her bra with one hand and squirmed out of it, still keeping her t-shirt on, and climbed into bed next Beca. No more was said on the butterfly matter as both of them drifted into a deep sleep, waiting anxiously for the morning where they would awake with the rest of the household.
It was Beca who woke first, and she quietly stepped into the en suite bathroom to freshen up. She didn't know how long she spent staring in the mirror and wondering what everyone would think of her, but it must have been a while as Chloe eventually came up behind her and said, "Are you ever going to move from this spot?" Beca smiled back at her reflection as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her stomach and she leant back into the embrace. "I'm just worried. What if they don't like me?"
"They'll love you, how can they not? You're just meeting my mom and brother today, my dad's away with work but he'll be home tomorrow." Chloe said comfortingly and placed a kiss against Beca's neck. They stood there for a few moments before Chloe spoke up again, "There's something you should probably know." Immediately Beca spun round, trying to go over every possible scenario and solution in her head that could lead on from that sentence. "Don't look so worried. It's just my little brother. I should have told you earlier, but I guess I never found the right moment. He's autistic." Chloe bit down on her lip anxiously, searching Beca's face for any sign of disgust or surprise.
However, Beca merely smiled and said, "Okay. You don't have to look so scared; I'm not going to jump on the next plane home just because your brother is autistic."
"Really? Because that's been the deal breaker for girls before and they've left without another word. He can be a handful so I don't want-"
"Chloe, honestly it's fine. I'm not leaving." Beca placed a reassuring kiss on Chloe's lips before heading back into the bedroom to change into a pair of black jeans with a black vest top and red plaid shirt. Half an hour later they were both ready and heading down stairs, gripping tightly onto one another's hands. Beca took in a deep breath as they walked into the kitchen and was greeted by the scent of pancakes filling the air around them. A woman spun round from the stove and moved a frying pan off the heat before walking eagerly across the kitchen. Her hair was scooped back into a ponytail and was a fiery red to match her daughters, although several grey hairs were beginning to show.
Beca was overwhelmed as she was enveloped into a hug and the woman said, "You must be Beca! I'm so pleased to meet you! I'm Mrs Beale, but call me Jean. I hope you like pancakes, because I've made enough for everyone." Eventually Beca was released from the embrace and she couldn't wipe the grin from her face. "Y-yes. I mean, I-I-I like pancakes," she managed to stutter out, and Jean ushered them both to the neatly laid out table before returning to the stove. Chloe lowered her voice and said, "You don't have to be nervous, she loves you already."
"I know," Beca said, "That's what's making me nervous. I've never met a parent who's so… lovely. I mean, she hugged me and she's making us pancakes – this is completely new territory for me." Chloe comfortingly squeezed Beca's hand, realising not for the first time in her life just how lucky she was. There was a lot of benign neglect in Beca's house, so of course this would be overwhelming for her. But overwhelming in a good way, Chloe hoped. After a filling breakfast and what must have been a hundred questions into Beca's life, the two girls carried the plates over to the sink and began to wash up.
"Hey, I have an idea," Jean called out from the table as she picked up her coffee, "Why don't you two girls go to the burning boat festival? It's a great atmosphere and I'm sure Beca would enjoy it."
"Sound good Ma," Chloe replied, remembering the annual tradition that she had grown up with. Beca smiled graciously but couldn't hide the confusion on her face. Before she could ask what exactly the burning boat festival was, an energetic noise charged into the room. A young boy around the age of ten sped around the kitchen with his arms out to the side and buzzed loudly like an aeroplane. "Joseph calm down! We have a guest – behave yourself!" Jean said firmly, but couldn't help but smile. Immediately the young boy grounded to a halt and finished by saying, "Don't go sideways, I will never be an aeroplane!"
Jean looked up at Beca and explained, "He says that a lot – it doesn't mean a thing but he won't stop saying it." Joseph followed his mother's gaze and ran over to Chloe, hiding behind her legs and clasping onto her pink top. "Joe, I'd like you to meet Beca," Chloe said, prising him out from behind her. Cautiously he stepped out and looked Beca up and down before saying, "Do you like sharks?"
"I like them, but they scare me sometimes. Do you?" Beca replied.
"I like them and they don't scare me," Joe said proudly before taking her by the hand. Chloe watched him warily and said, "Joe, do you remember what I told you?" He looked up as he scanned his brain for the answer, and then dropped Beca's hand and took one step back. "Is it okay for me to hold your hand?" he asked politely, and Beca extended her hand again and nodded. His other hand flapped excitedly as he said, "Can I show you my sharks?" Beca grinned and said, "Okay," before being eagerly pulled up the stairs.
Chloe followed with a watchful eye as they entered Joe's bedroom and he released Beca from his grasp as he ran over to some posters. "Sorry about that," she whispered into Beca's ear, "He's very hands-on with strangers and we're trying to teach him some restraint."
"It's fine. He's lovely," Beca replied, unable to get rid of the smile on her face. Soon Joe returned to pull her over to his bed where he had spread out countless fact sheets and posters about sharks. Beca scanned her eyes over all the photos and facts and didn't notice Joe staring up at her, searching her face intensely for some sort of response. "He's looking for your approval," Chloe whispered in her ear. Beca looked down at Joe's lit up face and said, "This is seriously cool, I love it."
He began to flap his hands in the air and started to explain his favourite shark and it's typical bite strength, length, weight, location, and prey. After half an hour of shark-education Chloe said, "We need to go and get ready for the festival, we'll see you later Joe." He nodded and put all the posters away before approaching Beca and bashfully asking, "Can I give you a hug?"
"Of course," Beca replied with a grin and knelt down to his level as he wrapped his tiny arms around her small frame. As they retreated to Chloe's bedroom they could hear him begin to say again, "Don't go sideways, I will never be an aeroplane." Beca shut the door behind them and said, "Can he come and live with us?" Chloe laughed, impressed and relieved that Beca had taken to him so well and vice versa. "I wish he could, but I doubt Aubrey would be willing to give up America's Next Top Model for countless shark documentaries."
"True. Maybe he could just come up for the day or something?"
"Definitely – we'll sort something when we get back. But right now, we need to get ready for the festival."
"About that," Beca said warily, "What exactly is this fire boat thing?"
"It's the burning boat festival; it's been a tradition here for as long as I can remember. Basically down by the river there's a boat that you fill with bad memories or things that signify a part of your life you want to leave in the past, and they burn it. Everyone gets together for it and we're all kind of united by our mistakes."
"What kind of things do people put in there?"
"Well… one year I took a load of empty bottles and cigarette packs that I had stashed in my room. I had spent months coping with the pressure of school by drinking and smoking, but then my mom found out and it broke her heart. It was then I decided enough was enough and I had to face my problems rather than drink until I didn't even know what day of the week it was, let alone what my problems were. So I drained the bottles, and put everything into a box and put it on the boat. When they set fire to it all, it was symbolic and so unbelievably liberating. It really made me feel like I could leave it all behind."
Beca seemed to ponder over something in her mind before walking over to her suitcase and placing it on the bed. She unzipped it, searched to the bottom of her case, and pulled out a small black bag. "I brought this with me… I'm sorry, I just never feel safe if I'm without it. But maybe I can put this on the boat. Maybe I can leave all this behind once and for all." Chloe didn't even need to ask to know that in the bag were all of Beca's blades, bandages, and cigarettes. "I think that's a great idea," she said encouragingly, and a small smile appeared on Beca's face.
They were ready hours before they needed to leave, but they were never at a loss for things to do. If Joe wasn't persuading them to watch a film with him, Jean was enjoying teaching them how to bake an apple crumble cake or showing them the flowers she had grown in the garden. Late in the afternoon it was finally time to go, and they walked out the door after being fussed over by Jean to stay safe, not get too close to the fire, and to have fun. They took a slow walk down to the river where a crowd was already gathering and the boat sat in the water, gradually filling up with various items that all had some significance to someone in the crowd. Beca held on to the bag with one hand and gripped Chloe's hand tightly with the other. As they approached the boat Beca turned and said with a panicked voice, "I don't know if I can do this. I can't leave it all behind, I'm not… I'm not complete without it. It's such a big part of me now I can't let it go."
Chloe took Beca by the shoulders and said, "You can do this. Sure it's a big part of you, but that doesn't mean it's good for you. I know it's hard and I know it's scary – you're getting rid of your safety net. You have fallen back on everything in this bag time and time again, but now you don't need to. Because I'll be your safety net, and you can fall back on me. I'm not saying this will solve everything instantly but it will be the first step on a very long road, and I promise I'll be with you the whole way." Beca took in a deep breath and said, "Okay." She nodded to reaffirm the word and held onto Chloe's hand again as they walked up to the edge of the boat.
She paused for a moment and looked amongst the items already sitting in the boat, wondering the stories behind them. Then she took in another deep breath, loosened her grip slightly on Chloe's hand, and threw the bag into the middle of the boat. For a few moments she stood there staring at it, wondering if it was too late to get it back. But Chloe was right – she didn't need it anymore. She didn't need a safety net constructed of sharp edges when she had Chloe, and that was a much better alternative.
They walked back to take a seat and bought a hot chocolate from someone wandering around with a large tray, and admired the way the water looked as the sun set in the sky. Just as dusk fell a woman stood up on a podium and spoke briefly about the burning boat festival, before taking a flaming staff and dipping the fire into the boat. The flames licked around the corners of the structure as it spread quickly, catching onto everything in its path. Several cheers called out from the crowd as the occasional green or blue flame would dart up as it burnt through something colourful. Beca could just about make out the black bag in the middle, but it soon disappeared from sight as jaws of fire clenched around it, engulfing it with the rest of the boat.
Chloe was right. It truly was liberating. Beca turned to the older girl and said, "I love you. You were so right. Thank you for bringing me here, thank you for making me do this."
"Don't thank me, it was you that went and got the bag from your suitcase. I just gave you a nudge in the right direction. But this was all you."
Beca pulled her in for a kiss and their lips melted together, still warm from the hot chocolate. As they pulled away Chloe rested their foreheads together and looked into Beca's cobalt eyes. "You're so amazing." Usually Beca would have shaken her head in disagreement, but there was something in Chloe's voice that made her decide to let this compliment slide, just this once. The atmosphere was incredible, so they hung around for a while before eventually heading back home. By the time they walked through the door Joe was inevitably in bed, but Jean was sitting up and watching TV. "I'm beat, I'm going to go straight to bed," Beca said and placed a quick kiss on Chloe's lips. "Night Jean, thank you so much for everything," she called out, and Jean graciously told her that it was the least she could do.
"I'll be up in a minute," Chloe said and watched her girlfriend pad tiredly up the stairs. Once she had disappeared from sight, Chloe wandered over to the sofa and sat next to her mom. Jean switched off the TV and turned to look at her daughter with a smile on her face. "She's great. Joe asked me if she can come and live with us, and I was actually tempted to say yes." A wide grin spread defiantly across Chloe's face as she felt so thankful that her mom approved of Beca. "I know. She loves you and Joe already; I think she's really enjoying having a loving family around her."
"I can tell she's not used to a family like ours. I don't mean to pry, but I'm guessing her family isn't exactly warm and welcoming?"
"Her parents are divorced. Beca once told me that they did say 'I love you' to her, but it was only out of routine. She never actually felt they meant it."
"It's such a shame; she's such a lovely girl. You tell her that both of you are always welcome here, whenever you want for however long you want."
"Thank you," Chloe said, and pulled her mom into a hug. "I love you," she said as they pulled away. "I love you too," Jean replied. They sat for a moment before Jean said finally, "We should both get to bed; I don't want you to be too tired for the journey home tomorrow." Chloe nodded and they stood up, but before they headed upstairs her mom looked at her and said, "You're so lucky to have one another."
"I know. I don't know what I would do without her," Chloe replied with a heartfelt smile on her face.