Angst ahead BEWARED! Spoilers for Heros Part 2.

Sam paused and moved up off the bed carefully and as quietly as she could and looked down at the sleeping girl next to her. She sighed silently and moved back Cassies' blonde curls, smoothing them gently and slipping out of the bed.

Sam pulled the duvet up and tucked the still girl in and padded slowly out of the room and clicking the door shut slowly behind her. She rested her forehead against the closed door and tried valiantly to control her breathing.

'Sam?' Sam turned to look to see a pale and strained Daniel stepping cautiously out of the guest bedroom. She straightened and turned to face him as he scrubbed a hand through his hair.

'How is she?'

'Asleep.' Daniel nodded slowly and they both tiptoed into the living room, but paused at the guest room door that was slightly ajar. She peaked round the corner and watched for a moment as the Colonel slept, breathing still rather tense. Sam found herself swallowing heavily and trying not to cry before shaking her head and closing the door fully.

'How is he?' She asked Daniel as she heard him bustling around the kitchen quietly.

'Asleep and quiet. He was barely even monosyllabic. Did Teal'c stay on the base?' Daniel handed her a cup of tea and they moved slowly into the living room. Sam nodded slowly to his question and they sat down heavily into Janet's couch. She closed her eyes, turning her head towards the fabric and tried to grasp at the lingering presence of her friend.

They sat in silence for a time Sam barely even touched her tea as she stared into nothing. Cassies' horrified, disbelieving cries still echoing in her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to forget the moment that Cassie stepped into the Principals office and saw both Daniel and Sam, herself sitting there. She had known immediately that something had happened and buckled with an anguished cry.

It was never supposed to be Janet.

She was a Doctor, not one for throwing herself into danger that was SG-1's job, not hers.

A loud smash caught her attention and she jumped round to see Daniel with his head in his hands and shaking violently. She looked down at the floor watching the lukewarm tea spread across the floor with the shards of the shattered mug scattered everywhere.

Then she noticed the stray droplets that were clustered together and still appearing. Suddenly she felt her face crumble and the tears fell without restraint. Sam grabbed Daniels closest hand and clutched it as desperately as she had hugged the Colonel.

Daniel pulled her for a half hug and they sat there in the dim light sobbing silently, without fear, without shame, dissolving into their grief.

They had saved so many lives over the years, heck Daniel had come back to them time and again, but not for her. Sam hiccupped loudly and felt Daniel tremble brutally in her arms there was no one else she could let this go with, not at that moment in time.

Both Teal'c and the Colonel grieved quietly and alone, both of them far too private and restrained to share their pain. Cassie needed her to be strong, and to help her move past her second tragedy. Daniel on the other hand, like her, needed someone to be there for him, probably as they had both been left alone to grieve in the past.

Old wounds ran deep, and Janet's passing had torn those old scars open once again, while slashing fresh gapping ones in their hearts.

Eventually Daniel pulled back and laughed hollowly at their reflections as he took them in on the black TV screen.

'We are not pretty criers.' Sam reached over and grabbed a box of tissues and pulled out a handful.

'Well nobody's perfect Daniel.' She muttered half-heartedly and she stood up slowly, stretching her tired, tightly wound muscles and moved to clean up the mess.

'I'm going to check on them, you okay?' She looked down to see Daniel holding his glasses loosely in right hand, wrist at his brow. Sam placed a reassuring, if not somewhat desperate hand on his broad shoulder and he grabbed it with his left hand. They paused for a moment, facing opposite directions and giving each other strength in one simple touch.

She smiled gently as she squared her shoulders and walked to the kitchen grabbing the meds from the counter and a glass of water. She tip-toed into the Colonel's room not wanting him to react to any sudden noises or movements as he was wont to do in his current condition.

'Sir?' She whispered quietly kneeling down next to the bed, careful not to touch him.

In the past, Daniel or some of the nurses and even on one occasion Sam herself, had made the mistake of trying to wake him by shaking him gently and had found themselves pinned to the ground as a result. The instincts in the Colonel from his black ops days had not faded and caution in these states was always best.

'Sir.' She attempted again and watched as the Colonel's tight breathing pattern sped up and his eyes opened blearily and looked confused.

'Sam?' He attempted to focus on her, with some difficulty, the meds he was on were taking their toll, especially given the use of her first name, she reasoned. She helped him into a low sitting position on the bed and watched him wince as he moved his injured abdomen.

'Yes Sir, you need to take your meds. Here. Drink the water slowly.' She handed him the meds and made sure that he took all of them. Clearly the Colonel was trying to make things easier by obeying her gentle commands, instead of kicking up his usual fuss. As well as possibly trying to forget how he acted with Janet, and avoiding any reminders of her.

'Cass?' He asked, slurring slightly as the meds began to take effect and sinking back into the bed.

'Asleep, I'm just going to check on her again. Sleep it'll help.'

' 'ank oo' ' A garbled response came from the now slumbering man and in a moment of weakness Sam leaned over and brushed a kiss on his brow. Soothing both him and her, by reconfirming that he was still with her and that he hadn't left her too.

She tucked him in and paused with her hand on his upper chest with her eyes closed, and stopped in that moment to listen to him breathe and feel his heart beat.

Something, anything to soothe some of her pain, to marvel for a mere moment in time that he hadn't been ripped away from her too.

Sam could've smacked herself for her selfishness, but maybe she needed it as an escape from the void left by Janet's death. She needed to hide from the loss of one of her dearest friends just for a little while longer, until Cassie and the Colonel were back on their feet.

Or at the very least able to stand alone both physically and mentally, for a short period.

Sam jolted awake at the sound of a horrified yell coming from the living room she glanced up to see that Cassie was still asleep and she moved slowly, her muscles resisting the movement.

'Daniel!' She ran over to him as quickly as she could as she took in his thrashing form.

Sam placed a cool hand gently on his forehead and rubbed gently with her thumb, trying to rouse him from whatever demons were haunting him.

Suddenly panicked blue eyes were focused on her, and Sam had never seen him so scared in all her life.

'It's okay, shush, it's okay.' She whispered pulling him in and rubbing his back soothingly.

'I couldn't stop it. I couldn't-' He gasped out, trying to draw in breath

'There's nothing more you could've possibly done, fate is unforgiving.' Again Sam found herself welling up and trying to sooth Daniel guilt. She couldn't possibly imagine how Daniel was feeling, being there in the moment Janet was hit and being unable to save her.

Though, if she was being completely honest with herself she came pretty damned close. Heck, when she closed her eyes most times in that past few days, she could still see the blast striking the Colonel full on. And then Daniels screams for help...

'Oh god! SOMEBODY ANYBODY! SHE'S BEING HIT! WE HAVE A MAN DOWN! JANET!' Sam shuddered as the words resounded in her ears just as clearly as they had on the field. She felt Daniel move away from her and look out the window at the night sky blankly.

'How can I live with this?'

'You continue on, as Janet would want us to. That's all we can do.' Daniel choked briefly and Sam felt her resolve shatter once more as he grabbed her hand and tears slipped down her face once again.

It just hurt too damned much, but she knew that they somehow pull through it.

No matter how long it would take, those new gouges would heal, leaving new scars in their wake.

I FINALLY got back to this story, it has been tricky to write but I recently saw 'Heros' and this came to me. Purely angst... A first for me, challenging but I'm actually pleased with this, but feel free to let me know!

Thanking you all in advance!