Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Stephanie Meyer owns all of them, she wrote the books and so I do not intend any copyright infringement. I just borrowed these characters for the duration of this fanfic.
Not A Stranger:
Just to breathe in;
Wiping away the blood trickling down my jaw and throat I stood up and made my way to the door. I looked back at the humans lying on the floor of my room and felt guilt stir in my stomach. A few moments ago all I wanted was to stop hurting everyone but I was going to hurt the people who were related to the ones that I had drank from.
I should have been grateful to Him for letting me live but I did not want to live because that meant watching the world decay around us all.
There was nothing to believe in anymore. Once it seemed to have a meaning but all pain that I knew of just pointed out that there is no meaning.
I used to believe that there was always a reason for His doings but it didn't seem so now. It seemed like we were mice that were to be tested on just to see if everything was worth it. It didn't seem so to me. Nobody wanted to be used for nothing.
To me it felt like there should always be a reason, a mission in life, an unfinished business that we should complete. It was just hard knowing what that unfinished business is.
I opened the door and stepped out. Looking to my left I saw Alec leaning against the door. It didn't take me long to know what I had to do."Sorry. I'm sorry. So...sorry." It felt like tears were going to pile up behind my lids even if they would never spill. They'd never even pile up, they'd never form because my body could not form something like that. My body was dead so it could not function like that ever again.
"You don't need to apologize, Bells." Just by saying so it made his light shine bright. He was almost like a saint... In my eyes he was. But he also made me feel more guilt.
"I do need to apologize. And I want to apologize!" Quiet sobs started to rack my body as I came closer to Alec. Please let him forgive me for my selfish acts.
"Bella, don't. Don't, you're only going to hurt yourself more." His pleading voice stopped me in my tracks. What was he saying? Not knowing what to do I voiced my thoughts.
"What are you saying? That I shouldn't apologize for hurting you?" But I should apologize. I wanted to.
"You can apologize but I don't need your apologies." My knees began to feel weak even though it wasn't possible. If he was saying what I thought he was saying then he knew that it would only cause us both pain. He would feel my pain, the pain that always racked through my body like an earthquake."I don't want to hear your apologies anymore."
"Alec...no, please. You need to understand that I really am s-o-o-rry. I'm sorry!" My knees gave out from under me and I collapsed onto the hard marble floor. He couldn't be saying those words. I said I was so sorry for ever hurting him the way I always did. He knew that.
Alec sighed and bent down to put his hands under my armpits. He lifted me up and set me on my feet but I only fell back down at his feet.
"Alec, you need to understand that I'm sorry. I need you to understand. Please!" My sobs were now louder, loud enough for him to hear. The pain wasn't present just because I had just drank blood and so I had better control. Last time it didn't seem to be the same case.
"I don't want to understand,"he said while sighing again. He bent down and picked me up by my arms. This time he didn't let go of me but held on so that I wouldn't tumble to the floor again.
"But...please! Alec! If you don't want me to be in pain then why are you doing this?" The pain mightn't be there but being let down like that was enough. It hurt more than it seemed.
"Let's get you back inside your room." With that he lifted me up and over his shoulder. I may have even laughed if it weren't for the mood hanging over us like it was.
Kicking the door open quietly Alec made his way over to my bed and layed me down. His eyes were dark, but not from hunger but from his mixed emotions. I didn't know what he was going through because I never had had a friend who like myself. Almost begging for the attention I would get from being hurt. It made me see myself in a new light.
"Alec...don't do this to me." My voice didn't hold any of it's usual beauty anymore. It was like a croak. It was dry and hurt my throat to utter the words.
"Don't do this to me, Bella. It hurts in the end after every time I forgive you. I've just noticed how it always turns out. You've hurt me in more ways than one and you always do it again in the end. By mistake or not. I can't take it anymore. It hurts!"His voice wasn't any better then mine.
I knew that one day He would punish me for my ways and so here he was. And this punishments was of the worst kind. I wished that tears would have flooded my eyes because then it'd be hard to see things. I would have an excuse to close my eyes then. If I could still be human I wouldn't be able to help myself in any way.
"Alright then." It was all I could say. I knew that it would just pain him more if I kept apologizing. So I might as well give up on everything.
I knew that I couldn't make Alec stay if all he wanted was to stay away from me. It would be making him do something against his will. And I didn't want to do anything to make him hate me any more than now.
He looked sideways at the door and then back at me. I nodded at the door, he obviously wanted to get out of the room. I also gave him a wry smile, I just didn't want to care anymore. If it was possible to care any more than that then I would have basked in that glow of light because that was something that I always wanted to do. To care about everyone so that it was hard to hurt them.
He nodded back in reply and strode over to the door."Aro wanted to see you. He said you have a visitor." That spiked my curiousity. A visitor here for me? Who would ever visit me? Who would risk going to the Volturi just to see someone in it, the Volturi were known as sadistic overlords. Proved how little they could ever know of a family who hid their affections from the world.
"Alright." When the door closed shut I stood up and made my way to one of the two windows in my room and pulled back the curtains to reveal the sun casting a dim light over the town. It seemed like there was a cloud of sadness hanging over it instead. It no longer basked in the only glory it could have. The glory that onced showed as a beautiful town. Now it just loooked too old for beauty.
I turned back around and meandered around the many chairs strewn around the room to the door. Opening it I stepped back out into the hallway. It had always felt like this place never had enough people in it. It was too quiet.
I could scarecely remember making my way to the throne chamber where I knew Aro would be. It was such a memorised route that it almost seemed boring to take now.
I opened the huge doors and went inside where everyone seemed to be gathered. Before I could take another step towards Aro, Cauis and Marcus I was attacked by something from my left.
I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my mouth from the pure surprise of the moment. My attacker hadn't thought that I'd fall over and so they fell with me. Looking up I was even more surprised to see who it was. No wonder nobody in the room made any sign of trying to get my assaltant off of me.
My face broke out into a smile. It seemed that when my world darkened beyond recognision, a bright and lively flame of light appeared and made that dark world of mine brighter. A smile was already etched onto their face, making their eyes brighter, like a childs.
It was dear Alice Cullen.
I was straing into the face of the wonderful Alice Cullen.