A/N: It's time for Auri to learn how to survive life in District 13! I hope you guys like this chapter!
Enjoy!
After sleeping alone for the first time, I notice I only dream about my family. I wake up in tears this time. In this dream, Cassius was there. He was killing my family, bringing them back to life then killing them again and again. He was laughing and staring at me the whole time. After I've had enough, I request for the nightly lockdown to be lifted so I can keep my door wide open. Because of the dreams, I'm developing anxiety problems. My father had them before I was born. I'm only allowed to keep the door unlocked. I wash my face of tears then get dressed for my first day of training. I don't know what will happen to me, but I know that I just want to do something useful. Instead of Angelo, Finnick comes to get me up, though I already am.
He brings me breakfast after he takes care of Annie then we head off to training. I find out in in the same group as Katniss. I briefly remember our meeting at the banquet, but it seems like I can really get to know her here. She tries to teach me how to use a bow and arrow, but I'm not very good at it. We eventually begin to stick with each other and I realize something. Katniss and I are very alike. She's just a girl who lost everything and is looking for revenge. Well, she still has her family. I tell her about what happened to mine, and she looks like she might break down. I should be in that position instead. Katniss tells me that they were unable to save Peeta and the Capitol has been using him to mess with her head.
I hug her and it seems like she really needed it. After training, she invites me to meet her family. I love her mother. She is nothing like how my mother was. She really cares for Katniss and supports her every decision. Damian would've loved Primrose. Literally, she would have been his first crush. She's intelligent, pretty like her sister, and as innocent as a mouse. I don't consider myself any of those things except for intelligent. I don't think I'm very pretty. Not with these scars and bruises. I know I'm not innocent. But none of that matters. Damian would've loved her. I eat dinner with Angelo and we talk about our week. I haven't seen home for a long time so it's good to talk with him.
"You almost shot yourself in the foot?" I ask with a laugh.
"Yep," he says with a smile. He takes another bite of the plain food. "So," he swallows, "how's training going for you?"
"It's going Ok. I can't shoot a arrow to save my life," this makes him laugh. "but I'm Ok at mostly everything else."
"Are you excited to start your sword training tomorrow?"
"Not really..." I put my fork down.
"Well why not? You're so good at it! You don't even need the training!" Angelo throws his hands up and everyone looks at us. He doesn't seem to care.
"That's the thing...I don't want to train...because I used to train with..." I shut my eyes and clench my fists.
"Oh, your old man trained you right?" I nod and he sighs. "Well, then that's a reason you should do it even more. Show them what you've got and make your father proud!"
It's now that I realize Angelo has too much enthusiasm. Everyone else stares at us and I find it hard not to care. He is care-free, something I only dream about. If I have any time to dream between the nightmares. It makes me laugh how loud and obnoxious he seems to everyone else. To me, he is a pick-me-up whenever I need one. We go back to the second half of training and Angelo tries to teach me how to shoot a gun properly. He tells me that it wouldn't be good if something were to happen like back in the woods. I need to be prepared next time. That night, someone sneaks into my room and wakes me up. I open my eyes and see Finnick shaking me. I raise my sore body and rub my tired eyes.
"Finnick...What the hell are you doing?" I ask and wipe away the tears from my recent dream.
"Your door was unlocked." His voice cracks and it concerns me. I look at his equally tear-stained face and realize he can't sleep.
Nightmares.
He tells me he came here because he didn't want to wake up Annie. I ask him if his rope helped. He says it didn't. We sit quietly on my bed, and apparently that's enough for him. I don't want to ask him about it because I knowI'll start crying again. I have my own dreams to cry about and I don't want to cry about histoo. There's a knock on the door before it opens. Katniss comes in.
"I saw you crying outside your room," she says and I realize she's talking to Finnick. "Are you guys Ok?" She asks.
"We're just fine," I sigh. "Can't sleep either?" She shakes her head then sits on the other side of Finnick. We sit quietly and Finnick continues to wipe his face. It seems the tears won't stop coming for any of us.
"Why are there bad people in the world?" Finnick suddenly murmurs. "Annie doesn't like it."
"I don't know, Finn. I wish I had an answer for myself," I respond.
We all have had terrible dreams, but for some reason, just siting here in my room softens the atmosphere. Finnick did most of the little talking that we had. He wants to marry Annie, but doesn't know when to ask her. I don't know how we got calm enough to talk so casually. My father used to believe that I have a calming aura about me. He used to have problems with anxiety, but ever since I was born, they disappeared. Maybe he was right.
"I meant to ask," Katniss starts, "how do you and Finnick know each other?"
"Hm?" I ask, not hearing the question at first. "Oh, we—" I stop because I don't really know Finnick. In all honesty, I don't. But we are still very close.
"Victors banquets," Finnick answers for me.
The next morning, I get up early. I get dressed in my training gear then head to the close combat section. I spot Katniss talking with Finnick over at gun training. Angelo is working at the bow and arrow station. Sword training should be around here somewhere...I stop in my tracks.
Across from me, I watch as Gale fights some girl with a shaved head. He's shirtless and sweating as the girl uses a battle axe and swings at him hard. He blocks it with the sword in his hand pushes her away. Gale's strong, but his form is sloppy. He's not standing right, his back needs to be straight, his arm needs to be firm, he's holding the sword all wrong and—
"You got a problem?" He asks as he approaches me. I wish he'd stop treating me like that. Like I don't belong here. Well, maybe I don't, but that still doesn't give him the right. "What are you doing here?"
"Who's this?" The girl with the shaved head asks.
"I'm Auri Scrymgeour," I answer before Gale can say anything smart.
"Oh, so you're the Capitol-born chick Gale is always bitching about," she laughs. I think it's at me, but I don't know so I kind of chuckle awkwardly. "I'm Johanna Mason," she says then sticks out her hand. I reach for it but she quickly pulls away. "Thought you had a friend, huh?"
"Wha—" I say confused.
"Gale, I'm going for a break." Johanna seems to glare at me before walking off. I am so confused. She seemed so nice until now. She must hate the Capitol too.
"I asked you what you're doing here, Capitol-born?"
"Could you stop calling me that?" I ask sternly.
"Why? That's what you are, isn't it?" Gale wipes his forehead with a towel and walks away. I follow him.
"Yeah, but you say it in a demeaning way."
"Being born from the Capitol should be demeaning," he says smartly. I am getting out of breath at how fast he is walking.
"Why do you believe that?" I ask, agitation rising in my voice. "Why do you believe I'mlike that? I haven't done anything to piss you off."
"Doesn't matter. You're from the Capitol. And that's just enough to get my blood boiling," he seethes and throws his towel to the side.
"Why do you hate everything Capitol? I mean, I know it's a terrible place but—" I am cut off when Gale suddenly stops making me slam into his hard, sweaty back. I back up and blush as I rub my sore nose. It's slightly uncomfortable being that close to him.
"Because the Capitol killed people I cared about. My entire District. Wiped. Out. That's why I hate the Capitol."
"Yeah? Well, they killed my family in front of me," I say with a surprise sob.
My eyes widen and I slap my hand over my mouth. Gale turns around and his face seems full of something else. Something genuine and kind. That's the first time I've really said what happened in the woods. I didn't shout it in a blind rage or in a fit of crying. I just said it. My body feels uncomfortably light and I feel tears gather in my eyes. Gale moves towards me but I back up. I need to get away from here. There are too many people around me.
Anxiety.
It's been happening a lot more ever since I got here. I back up into people who shove me away for bumping into them. I want to apologize, but I need to get out of here more. My room is my only safe place for me right now. I run into it and wrap my blankets over me. The tears come in waves as I sob and breathe irregularly. I feel like I'm pathetic. People here have been through worse, and they're not breaking down. But to me it's different. For a girl who has never experienced any trauma above scraping my knee as a kid, to watch her family get slaughtered. It seems extreme, but I still feel this is nothing compared to what has happened to other , Katniss, and Angelo show up later, but they can't help me.
I am shaking violently when the cover is pulled off of me. Finnick slips something into my mouth and Katniss lifts a bottle of water to my lips. I drink and swallow whatever they gave me and lay back down. Whatever is was, it regulates my breathing and stops me from shaking. Finnick lays next to me, speaking softly into my ear, but I don't know what he's saying. Katniss only stands next to my bed. I don't think she wants to touch me. It looks like she can't. Angelo places his hand over mine but I pull away and curl into Finnick's chest. I don't know anybody here. Not truly. Not even Finnick. But he's the closest thing.
How'd you guys like it? The ending of this chapter made me feel sad...but I still enjoyed writing it! Tell me what you think! See you next chapter!
R&R, please!
~EMAE