I Went Back

From the sound of it, Edward was no longer here. Just in case, I peeked around the corner.

"He's not here," Rosalie said, flipping through a magazine.

I sighed, walking all the way into the room. "Where is everyone?" Only Rosalie and Jasper were in the room.

"Carlisle and Eleazar went out, and all the girls went shopping."

"Emmett?" I questioned.

"Tracking down the bear he almost had earlier," Jasper answered.

"Shopping? Why aren't you with them?" She placed her magazine down and patted the cushion next to her. "Jazz, get out." Rosalie ordered. He started to object. "Got out," she snapped.

He got up, shoving his hands in his pockets, and slowly left the room. Cautiously I sat down.

"Bella, what happened back there with Edward?"

I rolled my eyes. "What were you expecting? Some happy ending?" I smirked. "Edward walks to Bella after months of separation. He declares his passionate love for her and she jumps into his arms, living happily ever after," I gagged. "I told him the truth. There was never a moment when I said otherwise. I never lied to him. Did he expect to come back to the old Bella?"

Rosalie showed no interest in what I was saying. "Bella, he made a stupid, stupid, mistake, but he did it to protect you. It's not like he just walked away and forgot. There was never a moment when he stopped thinking about you. You probably think he saw you as another passing distraction, right?"

I remained silent. Of course that what I thought. When your reason for living tells you he no longer wants you, are you supposed to naturally assume he's lying? "Rose, there's no need for this talk. I said my part and he said his. Accept it," I said walking away for the second time.

"He went back, you know." Rosalie called after me.

I turned slowly. "What do you mean he went back?"

She grabbed her magazine and started flipping through it again. "He didn't forget about you," she repeated walking out of the room.

He went back.

"Yeah, I uh made a side trip to Forks."

He came back for me and I wasn't there. He came back.

Edward's POV

Everything I told Bella about me not having a soul and that my heart had stopped beating was false, and I knew it. My heart had stopped beating back in 1918, but then I met Bella and it felt like I was alive again. When I told her goodbye, it stopped. Not like the first time though, this felt like my heart didn't even exist. Suddenly I see her here and it's back! I could breathe again without realizing I was suffocating. I saw my future again, not realizing it was missing. When she was gone, I couldn't see any farther than the step I just took. Of course, my heart died a third time when she walked away. She no longer trusted me. She's right, I lost her when I left. I hadn't planned on going back, but then again, I didn't plan anything anymore.

flashback

I'm only checking on her. If she's as miserable as I am, I'll come back. If she moved on like I intended, then I'll leave without a trace. The old white mansion came into view as I got closer. I followed the overgrown driveway in. When I got to the front door, I could smell Bella's scent everywhere. She'd been here recently.

I pulled my keys out to unlock the door, but it was opened already. I let it swing open on its hinges. Everything was...clean. Last time we were here was Bella's birthday. Now there was no trace of a party. Maybe Esme came back to clean it while I was gone, but I knew that wasn't who did it. I stepped into the room and closed the door. This house was filled with so many memories of Bella. I could see her sitting by the piano while I played her lullaby or playing chess with Emmett in the corner. So many bitter-sweet memories.

I looked around the room to see if she left anything behind. I didn't see anything out of place. I moved to the kitchen next. There was an empty can of food in the trash and a bowl in the sink. Bella came to our house, cleaned it and ate here? I used to worry about her mentality, but this reached an all-time high. Did she lose her mind? Was she coming here hoping we'd return? Oh god, what have I done?

I followed her intoxicating scent up to my room. Bella had taken one of my coats and laid on my couch. I pushed play on my cd player and sat down. The intricate melody of Claire de Lune played. The memories flowing through me with each note was almost too much to bare. How could I have left her? I did it to protect her, but what was I protecting her from?

Once the song ended, I made my way back downstairs. I headed for the door when something caught my eye. I turned back towards the couch. On it was an old rose. Its petals scattered across the floor and couch. Why would she clean the house yet crumple the flower? I picked up the remains and stuffed them into my pocket before heading to Bella's house.

Charlie was getting ready to leave for work when I got there. I decided sneaking around wouldn't be the best way to get answers. I parked my Volvo in front of the house where Bella's truck usually was. Before I could figure out where she was, Charlie came out. He looked rough. When he saw me, his heart started to race and his face grew purple.

No running now.

I got out of my car and walked towards him. "Hello Charlie," I greeted politely, hand extended.

"That's Chief Swan to you," he snapped, arms tucked firmly across his chest. "Why the hell are you here?" I wonder if I can arrest him for trespassing...

"I'm sorry Chief Swan, I came to see Bella."

Charlie's eyes widened in fear. "S-she's not here." And you better not be if she comes back!

"Do you know when she's coming back?" I pleased.

Charlie remained silent. She's not coming back, all thanks to you.

"Did she go to Florida to live with her mother?" I probed, looking for answers.

He didn't speak. If I told him yes would he try going there? By the looks of him, yes he would. "I don't know where she went..." he finally answered, sounding like he regretted letting her leave.

I groaned. "How's she been...since I left?"

"She's been great," he answered too quickly. The images in his mind made us both cringe. I had to work hard not to collapse into a ball in front of him.

"Charlie, I'm really sorry for what I did. I can't even tell you how mu---"

"I can't tell you how much I'm controlling myself." If you were older I'd have killed you by now. "Edward, I want you to leave. Don't you ever come back. You understand?" He threatened.

I backed away. "Yes sir." I replied walking back to my car.

end flashback

I was coming to Denali to say goodbye to my family. I at least owed them that. I had found a note from Emmett at our most recent residence telling me they were here for Spring Break. They came here because Bella was here. I wonder if that was pre-vampire. Bella was brand new so they had to have been here during her transformation.

I slammed my fist into the tree I was leaning against. It crashed to the ground with a groan. I had to gain Bella's trust back, if anything else. My first step was to gain her trust, then her heart.

I had to.....but how?