A Year Without Breathing

He was a 21 year old recovering addict. She was an out of control 17 year old. When his uncle asks him to take her in after the death of her dad, they'll both find out what it means to go a year without breathing….

Before I start this chapter. I liked to thank the voters who decided which story I'd be working on until July. So if you don't like it…..oh well. You should've voted. And I want to thank all reviews and those who answered the questions. And finally, I am looking for people to be on my Rikku/Gippal fanfic community staff. So if you want to be in it PM me by fanfic.

That's it. Enjoy the chapter. Xoxo!

Chapter 10- Exhale

Rikku….

Monster? How should I feel?

Things are different. And when things change after changing, its never good. Gippal and I have been…'cozy' for about a month and a half now. He and I…..our relationship has gotten really close. He opens up to me more. We talk all the time. Play around. He makes me laugh. I make him smile. We're around each other almost all the time. And….I think I've fallen for him. Hard. But things have changed kind of. Only he doesn't know that I know they've changed. And I don't think I want him to know. See , how I found out that things have changed is earlier this week. Tuesday. About 4 days ago.

--- { Flashback}---

I woke up around 7:30 and found Gippal asleep next to me with his arms wrapped around my waist like usual. I spent 5 minutes messing with him so he'll wake up to. Like usual. I say I'm going to shower and he'll try to come with me. Which is a big mistake because I'll never get clean.

" Go shower" I tell him like I do every morning. With a giggle as he tackles me to the bed.

" Where?" He always says with lust burning in his eyes.

" In your shower." I say. Or I say " In my shower." Depends on whose bed we're in. That morning we were in my bed.

" You know you want to come with me." He counters and then gives me an all too persuasive kiss as his hands grope me. But just when my mind shouts to say ' hell yea. Let's go' he gets up, with one final ,quick peck on the lips, and heads off to shower in the other shower.

About 8:45, after making out a bit after showering, we manage to get dressed and head downstairs and get some breakfast. Buddy, usually, isn't out of his room yet, was sitting at the island. Eating a muffin and drinking some juice. Not beer for once. I was surprised and teased him about it. Gippal grabbed himself a bottle of water and I told him to get met a bottle of apple juice as I get a muffin as well.. He and I leave a few minutes later and he takes me to school.

He never drops me off in front of school. Doesn't like the attention it gave him and his mustang the one time he did it. So as he pulled to the corner down the street, I turned and asked him If he wanted to go to a movie with Buddy and I. He said he'd pass but rent a few movies so we could watch them. We made quick chit chat about what movies we liked and he said I should get to school just as his phone began to ring. I leaned over and gave him a kiss. He seemed distracted as he quickly answered his phone.

When I got out, he drove off with a complex look on his face. Like he had just heard something that either confused him or angered/worried him. I just brushed it off as something I shouldn't worry about and went to school. I had a normal no eventful day until lunch. Paine and Yuna, my new best friends, told me about a party that Yuna's college boyfriend, Tidus, was throwing. Yuna invited me because Paine said she couldn't come. I was about to decline because it was Saturday and I wasn't sure what I may do with him. But instead I told her I'll think about it. She said she'd call me later in the week to find out what I decided because she knew I forgot.

When I got out of school, I was expecting Gippal to be there but he wasn't. I missed the bus, so I caught a ride from Paine. I lost 10 respect points, which brought me down to

87. I had lost 3 the day before and it just wasn't fun. I slipped out in the front during lunch and took Paine with me into the fountain. Paine wet is a very painful experience. But when she dropped me off, I came in to find the house quiet. No Gippal in the living room waiting for me to come home. No Buddy in the kitchen watching TV from the island. It was too quiet.

I set my book bag down by the front door and headed upstairs to see if anyone was home. And if not, where they had gone. I came up stairs to find Buddy's door closed. I walked up to it quietly and heard some kind of coughing. It was muffled and I could barely make it out. But then it got a bit clearer as I heard something fall. It was followed by a sound of tiny pebble like things falling on a hard surface. Cussing ensued and I got curious. So with the slightest bit of sound, I turned the knob and peeked in through a slant.

And what I saw kind of confused me. Buddy was at his desk and his hand was swiping things toward him. I peeked in a bit more on my tip toes to see what and I saw a colorful assortment of pills. Blue, red yellow, white. He was pushing them all into one big prescription bottle. I wanted to see if I could read it better but I leaned too far forward and fell into his room. I knew I shocked him. He swirled around in the desk chair and hid the bottle behind him. Hell, I shocked myself. I quickly scrambled to my feet and tried to come up with a quick way out of this.

" Stop, Gippal." I whined panicky as I swatted at someone in the doorway that wasn't there. Buddy looked confused. But didn't move to get up. " Stop.

" I'm sorry. Gippal was playing around and pushed me too hard." I apologized and quickly left to retreat to my room. He didn't follow. And as I went to my room, I saw Gippal wasn't in his. Nor was he waiting in mine. And that got to me. But I told myself he had some errand to do. Or he had that meeting he had. The A.A. meeting. But then again, he hasn't been going to his meetings for a while. He's here with me every night.

But still, I decided to go to his room and finish that book I started that last night he came home late. I went to go get it and saw his pants on the chair. I decided I could also do some laundry while I'm at it. I had a lot of dirty clothes since Gippal and I started sleeping in the same bed.

I went down with my dirty hamper and some of his dirty clothes and began to start a load. As I began to clean out the pockets of the clothes, I came along something I never expected to find. Had never seen in person. But I knew exactly what it was. It wasn't hard to mistake the small inch sized bag with white substance for anything else. I just…didn't expect to find it in Gippal's jeans. He was a recovering addict. Recovering. Had he gone back to his old ways?

I started the load of laundry and then went in my room. I sat there for , I don't know how long, trying to rack my brain on what Gippal had done. Had he gone back to using? He couldn't have. He's been with me every night…..well almost every night. There were nights where I fell asleep waiting for him. And then in the middle of the night, I would feel him pull me to him. And then wake up and he was there. His arms wrapped around me, his clothes strewn on the nearest chair or surface. His face buried in the crook of my neck. But he smelled different. I couldn't put my finger on it. Had those nights he hadn't come back until late…….had that been when it occurred?

I couldn't think about it anymore. I shoved the small white bag in my desk drawer behind some old photos and what-nots. I showered and went to bed. Gippal still not there. I kept telling myself to not worry about it. Not now. He'll tell me when he was ready. It couldn't be what I think it was. It couldn't be. But again that night, he came back late and got into bed with me. Again he came back late. I kept telling myself it was nothing. It was nothing.

--- { End Flashback}---

And now that things have unspoken changes….I don't know what's going to happen. I don't feel right by him anymore. I still have a comfort…but I want him to tell me. Every time I look at him, I'm begging him to tell me. When he leaves for long periods of time, my mind goes crazy. My mind swims in ideas of what he could be doing. I haven't found anymore drugs. And he hasn't said anything about the small bag I took out of his pants.

So what's going to happen? How will it affect me now that I've began to fall for him so hard? How do I stop falling when he's around? He holds me the same, if not even more tender. His kisses, his smile, his laugh….its all too warm. Too comforting. Should I do what I have to do to break free? Or try and ……god I don't know.

Which is why I decided that now was a better time than any to go to that party with Yuna. It came to me as such a simple solution. I came back from school and found Gippal not here. Again. It was Friday that day so he couldn't say he was in one of his meetings. Buddy was passed out on the couch. I decided he was a case on its own. I'd investigate that later. And the whole house just….seemed different. Tense? Not exactly. Depressing? Yeah. The secrets did make it depressing because that's how my dad's drinking problem started. And ended.

Then Yuna called. Asked if I was going. And taking one final look at the depressing atmosphere I told her 'Definitely' So that's why today, I'm pampering myself. Gippal said he had to go out and run an errand. It was after he got a phone call. I shrugged and went to take a bath. I stayed in there for about 2 hours. The water had gone from hot to luke warm. The bubbles had turned to suds. And I had yet to move. I was probably a prune by now. But my mind was too occupied to worry. I hated that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I hate that it bothered me. I hate that he still hasn't told me. But were not committed or obligated to each other in any way. He and I are forced into each other.

Forced……..

'God! I need to leave.' I think. It was about 6 in the evening.

So I finish bathing and go to get ready in my room. After I finish drying my hair, lotion up and putting on my bra and underwear I hear my bedroom door open. Although I had my back to the door as I sat on the bed, I knew it was Gippal. He crawled onto the bed behind me and his lips softly pressed against my exposed shoulder. His hand slowly came up my back in a slow arousing movement. But I tried not to pay him any mind.

A part of me was completely pissed about him not telling me, and it was beginning to win over the part that was worried about him not telling me. I shrugged off his hand and moved off the bed to head to my closet.

" What's wrong with you?" He asked me. I heard him lay down on the bed by the way the springs protested at the weight of his muscular body.

" Nothing." I lied. I came into my closet and turned on the light, closing the door behind me. I scanned the closet for an outfit to wear for the party. Taking out a few random things only to put them back. I decided that since Yuna didn't say the party wasn't casual, I could wear a skirt and a shirt. Gippal didn't say anything for a few moments. I had picked out an outfit to wear by the time he did say something.

" What are you doing?" He called to me.

" Getting dressed." I told him through the closet door as I pulled on the my Tripp red plaid and chain tutu skirt.

" Why?" He asked. I was now putting on my Tripp rose lace cami.

" I'm going to a party and I don't think I could show up naked." I said to him.

I heard him chuckle and mumbles something to himself like ' you could if it were my party.' But I ignored it. I looked for these boots that My friends back home got me They would go with this outfit perfectly. The fabric part of the boots were a lacy red Victorian kind of thing. The toe and heel of the boots were black leather and they laced up the front. And it had a cute small black bow tied around the calf of the boot.

" What kind of party are you going to?" He asked and I heard his voice getting closer. But I paid him no mind and continued scrimmaging for the boots. I found them in a box in the back of the closet.

" I don't know. I think it's a house party. A friend of mine invited me." I told him. I heard the closet door open as I sat on the nearby unpacked boxes to put on the boots.

" Why didn't you tell me?" Oh the irony in that question. But I didn't respond for a moment. I just finished lacing up my boots.

" Didn't know I had to, Uncle Rin." I said with sarcasm. I got up and grabbed a small black clutch to put some lip gloss and cell phone in.

" No…I'm not trying to be like Uncle Rin. I just didn't know. And it would be nice if you had told me so I wouldn't be left wondering where the hell you disappeared to," He said to me. He leaned against the doorframe of the closet door. I had to chuckle at that. He just would have liked it if I told him. Wouldn't we both like that.

" Well, I never thought to." I said a bit annoyed. My annoyance was getting to me. I had to get out of here.

" Whoa, I sense some hostility" Gippal puts up his hands like a suspect to a cop. " did I strike a hidden nerve?"

" No." I say going to my desk and getting my cell phone from the charger. I shove that in the bag and think about where I put that cut strawberry gloss I had the other night.

"Then what's up with you? You seem pissed or something lately." he questioned me. He didn't sound like he's moved from the closet. I remember at that moment where I put the lip gloss and slide open my desk drawer without thinking. And sliding to the front of the drawer along with my lip gloss was the little bag of white.

The sight of it made me freeze for a moment and brought my anger to a lower level compared to my hurt. And I couldn't understand why I was hurt. Why could he hurt after such a short amount of time without doing anything. Damn him. I should get rid of it while I'm out. I could toss it or something. So with that thought, it grabbed it with my lip gloss and shoved it in my black clutch before I closed it.

" Nothings wrong with me." I told him. He gave me a look that I didn't understand but I brushed it off as the doorbell rang. " That's my friend. I have to go."

" What time will you be back?" He asked me as I headed to my door. I felt like being a bit like him right now so I replied how I thought he would.

" Don't know. I'll let you know." I said.

He didn't respond to that and just let me go. And he needed to because right now he had no right to question me. I wasn't like him. Doing drugs behind peoples backs. Asshole…

-----

11:45 pm

The party Yuna was talking about was at a nearby apartment complex near the school. The place was packed. It was in a combination of 3 apartments too. Music blaring. Drinking. Wild antics. Drunken antics. I couldn't even get word in edge wise. But strangely I was having fun. Yuna had found her boyfriend and they had disappeared somewhere. I was chatting up some friends from school. And I was having a blast.

That is until this one drunk jerk came up to me and grabbed my ass. He was completely wasted by the way he smelled and staggered. The kids from my school didn't even notice. They were too busy in the party. I knew he was trying to hit on me but by his slurs it was barely comprehensive. I think he said something along the lines of "Were you eyeing me."

" No.." I said. A little bit gaggish by the way his breathe smelled.

I had to get out of there. I didn't even pay any mind to what he said as I began to weave my way through the crowd and to the nearest escape. Which, from the drunk, was the stairs. It wasn't as crowded upstairs but I still felt crowded. I had to get out of there. I went to every door. 3 were 'occupied' bedrooms. But the 4th one I got to was an empty bathroom. And for this wild party, surprisingly clean.

I hurried in and closed and locked the door. I decided to wait til the drunk went away.

In the meantime, I decided to occupy myself. First I looked around the bathroom and then I looked out the window. It was too dark to see anything on the second floor. I was getting bored fast and thought for a second that I could go back to the party, but then I knew drunks well. They were persistent. Then I remembered the small bag of white in my purse.

My mind raced on what I should do with it. A part said flush it. But then a huge part, mainly caused by the two drinks I had, thought about how it would feel to try it. I had seen some of my friends at my old school do it. I knew I could if I wanted to. I could try it once. To see what its like. Gippal once described to me what it was like…but I think he was talking about it when you inject it straight to the blood stream. I've only seen it been sniffed.

Imagine a euphoric orgasm but 10 times more potent…

His words sang in my head. And I think that's what sealed the deal. I wanted to feel that. Maybe it was rebellion, or anger, or simple curiosity. But as I set up the white substance on the edge of the tub, I found myself craving to try this. And when I took that first sniff, everything was so strong at first. Burned my nose. Made my eyes water. But my head was swimming in a few moments. In an amazing high. I wanted more of the high. More of this swimming feeling.

And before I knew it one try turned into the whole small bag's contents being gone. And I was swimming. I sat with my back to the tub and rested my head back. I felt too damn good to move. I just wanted to lay here. Feel this feeling. This was totally better than an orgasm. And if this was when it was sniffed then hell, just imagine it when you put it straight into the blood stream. God.. This was some kind of appealing monster.

It had my head singing. Or at least I thought it did. But apparently, it was only my cell phone. I reached next to me lazily and pulled out my phone. I fumbled with it a minute before I could remember how to use it.

" hello?" I giggled. I don't know why but I did.

" Rikku?" It was Yuna.

" Yunie!" I squealed. " Yunie! How are you?"

" How are you? I should ask 'where are you'?" She sounded panicked.

" Silly Yunie. I'm swimming." I said. That made me feel like swimming. I reached behind me and turned on the tub.

" Swimming?!" Yunie was surprised. I could tell.

" Yep." I say. I stock the tub and sit in it. My but gets wet immediately. But I find it fun. And funny.

" Rikku, where are you? Stop playing. We should get out of here." She told me. But I wasn't really paying attention. I let my legs hand out of the tub and rested my head against the opposite side.

" I told you I'm swimming Yunie" I said again. I told her once. God, I tell you. Some people just don't listen.

" Rikku, where are you swimming."

" In the bathroom…" I kind of slurred. Then everything began to get hazy. Things got incoherent. My hand slipped to the side and my phone fell onto the floor and just like that everything went black. People call this drug a monster. But I cant fell anything wrong with it right now. In fact I suddenly want more. I'm completely at peace because of this 'monster'. So this is a monster huh? I think I like it.

Monster…How should I feel?

TO BE CONTINUED…

Okay. That's the story so far. Shocker huh? As I said before, looking for Community staff members. Contact me if you want to be apart of it. And this is the story I will be focusing on. Than you to all voters and reviewers. This chap.'s question is

How do you feel about Rikku's judgments in this chapter? Did you see it coming? How do you think it will affect R/G's relationship? Is Gippal right about ruining her now? Why do you think he had the bag?

Let me know what you think. R&R. Stay tuned for next chap. Major events.

Xoxo,

Ayata-Ayumi