AN: Here it is, chapter 10! It's a long one, and I'm still not quite
sure I'm happy with it, but eh shrugs . Happy New Year! R &R!
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
No matter what I do, I'm never comfortable in these hospital chairs. Especially when someone I care about is dying only a few feet away. The room looks exactly like the one I was sitting in two months ago. When I look out the window I almost expect to see leaves covering the ground instead of snow. Then I remember I'm not just dreaming about Angel's last days. She's not the one lying in bed right now. It's not her slowly, but surely, weakening heartbeat the monitor is reminding us of.
It's only been a week since we found Mimi. After her miraculous recovery that night, she quickly went downhill again. She's been here ever since, Roger not leaving her side and me refusing to leave his.
Everyone is gathered tonight to celebrate New Year's Eve, even Benny. But there are no noisemakers, no hats, no bottles of bad champagne. Maureen's not even wearing her cat suit or drunk and trying to steal my camera. Instead she's sitting on the bed painting Mimi's nails and softly explaining all about her new protest she's doing next month. It still amazes me how gentle she is when she wants to be.
Roger is laying on Mimi's other side, arm around her and guitar on his lap. He's played Mimi's song for her every night. Usually I pick that time to grab something to eat, but tonight she insisted I stay and record it. I think we all knew it was the last time that song would be heard.
Collins is standing to my left, fiddling with the TV remote and trying to find the channel with the ball drop.
Joanne sites beside me, fidgeting slightly and conversing with Benny who is standing in the corner.
"Yo, bitches! Quiet down, it's starting!" I guess the remote is finally working. All our eyes focus on the screen for the countdown.
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6..." I glance over at the bed. Mimi is counting down with us. Her voice sounds so quiet and feeble, but she still has that wonderful smile on. "...5, 4, 3, 2, 1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!" we all cry out in unison. For a few minutes those of us who are able to run around the room hugging and cheering and we forget exactly why we're here tonight.
One by one, the others say their goodbyes and by 2:30 AM, EST it's just myself, Roger, and Mimi, as has gotten to be the usual in the past week. "Hey, babe? Could you get me some water?" I hear her whispering to him.
"Sure thing, beautiful." He kisses her cheek and gets up. "I'll be right back, okay?" She shoos him away with her hand and mouths the word "go!". He obliges, closing the door behind him.
After a moment, Mimi looks over at me. "Hey there, handsome." she says, winking.
I raise an eyebrow seductively and respond in a sing-song voice "Well, hell-o, sexy." It's a game we've always played whenever Roger leaves the two of us alone together. It ends when one or both of us bursts out laughing. But I get the feeling this isn't the sort of conversation that will end in laughter.
She pats the bed. "Get your cute ass over here." I get up and sit next to her, holding her hand. She squeezes it slightly and sighs. "I'd tell you to take care of him for me, but you've been doing that long before I came along...right, hun?"
I smile softly. "I suppose so, doll."
She shakes her head. "You do it better than anyone else, believe me. That's why I'm not worried." She looks down at our hands. We both know it won't be long. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too, Meems." My own voice sounds choked and weak. It doesn't surprise me.
The door opens. Roger enters and sets a glass on the table. "Hey, guys. Didn't get in any trouble while I was gone, did you?" He eyes us suspiciously. Mimi gives me a knowing look and giggles.
"Mark, could you give us a minute?" she asks me. I wink at her and make a clicking sound with my tongue as I walk into the hall. I lean against the closed door for a second before heading toward the cafeteria for some coffee.
After I return, I lean on the wall opposite the door, slowly sipping my drink and staring at the floor. I feel numb all over.
I see feet going by occassionally, but I don't look up. I start to wonder what all could be happening at a hospital this time of night. How many people are hurt, sick, dying...how many are being born? The last thought is comforting, in a weird way: that someone might be brought into the world the same night our Mimi leaves it.
When I tilt the styrofoam cup to my lips again I only taste air. I guess I forgot I finished it. I stare into the empty cup for what feels like forever. My trance is finally broken when I hear the door opening.
Roger stands defeated in front of me, eyes filled with tears and not daring make contact with mine. I know what he's going to say before he even opens his mouth. "She's gone."
"Oh, Rog..." I drop the cup and pull him into a hug. He pulls me closer, crying into my shoulder. I feel my own tears running down my face.
I don't think it's gonna be a happy new year.