Repercussions Of Femininity

by Vixen2004

When a predominant angst writer makes an attempt at comedy, the results are priceless. Picture Axel traveling around the worlds to find a soul mate in order to quench his desire for companionship and to prove to Larxene that he is not gay.

10. Atlantica Part Two

Woot! I have returned, baring thirty pages of Axel goodie goodness as opposed to the typical twenty. Sorry for the delay, but hospitals suck. But enough about that! Onto the wonderful pyromaniac mishaps that lie ahead!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I was never known for my astounding abilities when it came to consulting sobbing females.

Such was evident as Ariel sat draped over a randomly placed rock crying her eyes out admist her Secret Spot, expecting me to cough up some words of comfort to ease her plight in her time of need.

I remained silent.

Tears are not something I'm accustomed to, and I most certainly do not like them. When's the last time I saw Luxord turn on the water works? When did Vexen ever sniffle? Heck, Larxene boycotted tears altogether. And Ariel expected me to do something for her? The only practice I had with dripping saline was Demyx, and that hardly counts. He always claimed it was allergies anyway.

Though for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what it was he was allergic too. Unless it was chronic darkness or concrete, there was no plausible explanation for his sniffles. Lord knows there was a total lack of flowers in The World That Never Was, so either Demyx was suffering a severe reaction to sky scrapers or he was downing that Sudafed needlessly.

Regardless, none of that mattered right now.

I needed to find something to take Ariel's mind off things, for aside from tears in general simply annoying me, female tears are ten times worse. It's a blessing Larxene refuses to participate in such emotional activities.

"Can you...hand me my...thingie ma bopper?"

I paused in uncertainty.

"Excuse me?"

"My...thingie...bopper..." Ariel tried again, sniffling between words. "I need to comb my hair..."

I knew better than to question the odd habits of females.

"Um, sure sweetheart," I confirmed, scanning the shelves of mundane knick knacks in search of the fabled 'thingie ma bopper.'

The Secret Spot was a total mess, and really nothing more than an abandoned cave that Ariel seemed to have taken up and now called her own. The clutter was phenomenal and invoking feelings of claustrophobia. I didn't like it, but I didn't feel like announcing such to an already emotionally distraught girl.

'Hey, I know your best friend is probably getting eaten tonight, but just so you know, I hate your room!'

Some things were better left unsaid.

"Thingie ma bopper...thingie ma bopper...thingie ma bopper..." I kept muttering under my breath. I had no idea what I was looking for. Not to mention I had great difficultly swimming without the aide of Ariel's arm. Stupid gender confused sea horse tail. It was way too curly for its own good, and totally impractical for travel. I missed my legs. My pale, stalky, albino legs. This fin thing was getting agitating.

"It's the long metal stick with the sharp, pointy prongs at the end," Ariel explained, whipping her eyes.

I quirked at eyebrow in confusion. I thought she was describing a torture device. This girl must have a very sadistic way of combing her hair.

"Next shelf over," she directed.

I obeyed. After a couple more minutes of fruitless searching, I finally stumbled upon the 'long metal stick with the sharp, pointy prongs at the end.'

A fork. Ariel wanted to comb her hair with a fork.

Well, she was eccentric to say the least. If Roxas were still around, they'd make a good match. Ha, maybe I should drag her to Twilight Town...

"Ya know sweetheart, there is an actual use for this..."

"Yeah, I know," Ariel confirmed, snatching the eating utensil from my grasp. "It's for combing your hair."

"No-oo," I corrected slowly. "It's for eating food. Like, that shark meat and stuff."

"...but we don't eat shark meat with thingie ma boppers..."

I paused.

"Please don't tell me you use chop sticks."

Ariel regarded me strangely. "No, we don't do that either...but it does sound enticing."

"It's not. Trust me."

Ariel began to frantically run the thingie ma bopper through her obnoxiously shaded tomato red hair.

"It's called a fork," I offered, Ariel's discomfort clearly evident through her hasty hand motions and jittery disposition.

"What is?" Ariel questioned in a tremulous voice.

"Your thingie ma bopper. It's a fork."

The naïve one blinked in rapid succession. "How do you know that?"

"Um...because I use one on occasions?"

Even though I previously thought it humanely impossible, Ariel's originally gigantic saucer eyes got even bigger as they widened in surprise.

"Wow..." she breathed. "You...have human connections?"

Awkward moment.

"Er, yeah," I stuttered. I originally flirted with the idea of exposing myself to Ariel (not physically you perverts, get your mind out of the gutter) but I realized that perhaps she would not take kindly to the fact a human man wanted to whisk away one of her mermaid sisters.

That whole inter-species breeding thing could get rather complicated very rapidly.

I assume Xemnas was the product of such anomalies.

"Wow, I can't believe Scuttle got something wrong..." Ariel muttered, placing a hand over her mouth deep in thought.

"Is Scuttle a manatee?" I teased, picking the first marine life that came to mind.

"Oh no, he's a sea gull."

I stalled. "Oh." I wasn't actually expecting an animalistic response.

"Anyway..." Ariel breathed, continuing to comb her hair with a fork, "We need a plan."

"For correcting your noun usage?"

"No. For saving Flounder."

"Oh. Well, yeah, that too."

I saw evidence of the tears starting to build up in the corners of Ariel's eyes. Well, technically Ariel's eyes have no corners, for they're completely round, but the edges were rimmed with saline.

"Don't cry," I soothed, trying to pull sentimentality out of my butt.

Ariel sniffed in response. "What if they're cooking him right as we speak?"

"Aw, don't worry. I'm sure as soon as he hits the frying pan he'll suffocate and won't feel a thing."

Ariel stared at me, mouth ajar and face a ghastly shade of white.

"Er...metaphorically," I quickly added.

"We can't just sit here, we need to do something!" Ariel shrieked, her teenage hysteria becoming fully evident the more this girl continued to comb her hair. Her hormones chose to make themselves known through the numerous tears that were pouring out of the mermaid's eyes and floating upwards off her cheeks to join the bubbles as they drifted towards the surface.

"Well, let's think," I ordered, attempting to tackle the role of good ol' big brother and take charge. While I am use to taking charge, it usually does involve death threats of some kind along with the element of fire.

"Okay," Ariel sniveled, wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

"We know Flounder is on a fishing boat, correct?"

Ariel bobbed her head vertically.

"So that means we should probably head up to the surface as opposed to lurking around in dark, smelly, claustrophobic caves."

Whoops.

"...my cave is not smelly..." the mermaid sheepishly insisted.

Yes it is dear, but I know better than to tell you that now.

"But...surface!" Ariel shrieked, in a sudden panic. "Surface means legs! I don't have any legs!"

I blinked. "There isn't some way to take care of that?"

I assumed if I was able to grow a confounded pregnant sea horse tail as easily as I did, Ariel should have no trouble sprouting legs in her time of dire need.

"Well, I suppose there's always Ursula..."

"That name sounds...ominous..."

Ariel took the word 'ominous' as her cue to burst into another round of gut wrenching sobs as the devastation racked through her body.

"Ariel," I stated firmly, grabbing her by the shoulder. "Ariel, look at me."

She continued to wail.

"Ariel, I said look at me. Deep breaths now, deep breaths."

She attempted such and began to hyperventilate. I can't do anything right.

"Look at me Ariel, look at me. I want you to breathe in, and then out. Okay? It's really simple. You can do this for me, right?"

Ariel nodded through her violent gasps.

"Okay. Inhale," I instructed, inhaling myself for further emphasis. Ariel mimicked my actions precisely. "Now hold it. Good girl. Keep holding it."

Ariel sat there with her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk on steroids.

"Now I want you to release it very slowly—no, no, no, that's too fast Ariel! You're not listening to me sweetheart. I said slowly. Like this." I began to slowly exhale for Ariel so she could again copy my characteristically flawless example. "Good," I commended, once Ariel's rapid breathing had returned to normal. "That's what I want to hear."

Ariel smiled through her tears. "Am I doing a good job?"

"Yes darling, you're doing a fantastic job. I'm proud of you."

Ariel's shy smile slowly transformed to a gigantic, face cracking grin as she beamed wildly and threw her arms around me.

"You're the best big brother a girl could ask for!" Ariel squealed into my ear canal.

I initially grimaced at the volume but eventually broke out into a smirk as I habitually wrapped the scrawny little Ariel up in my embrace.

"You know I'd never let anything bad happen to you, Adelaide. I'm always right here."

I felt Ariel's body stiffen within my arms.

"Adelaide?" she repeated, retching herself away. "Who's Adelaide? My name is Ariel, doofus."

My body froze.

"Did I just...hug you?" I sputtered, trying to hide the intense surge of emotion that was coursing through my empty veins.

"Yeah. You hugged me and called me Adelaide."

Oh gracious. Adelaide. Her name was Adelaide. I remember now. My little sister's name was Adelaide.

And she used to cry a lot.

"I...didn't mean that..." I choked out, my tremulous hands shaking convulsively.

"...you didn't?" Ariel gasped, her eyes glazing over again.

"Well, no, I mean...yes. I did. But not that last part."

Ariel paused uncertainly.

"Say, wasn't one of your friends about to become an entrée?"

That last reminder seemed to snap Ariel back into action. And tears. But not as intense as last time. She was still able to swim, and I assumed she was directing me to Ursula's lair.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ursula was fat.

And she wore way too much make up.

And she smelled funny.

Needless to say, I didn't like her.

She also had these two ridiculous side kicks that kept slithering around accomplishing absolutely nothing and rendering their presence pretty much useless. They looked like two giant pieces of mold infested spaghetti. Or two long boogers swimming in the ocean; the stringy kind that you pull out of your nose when you're sick. Basically, they were eels. Gross looking ones at that.

"She's supposed to help us?" I grumbled to Ariel, who looked like she was ready to pass out.

"Mhmm!" she squeaked, high pitched and fragmented as she attempted to swallow her nerves. It was failing miserably.

It was then that Ursula noticed the two of us floating at the entrance of her cave. She arose from her previous perch and began to swim over to us. I then took heed of the fact Ursula was indeed an obese octopus with eight dangly, revolting legs and countless suction cups on her underside to match. It was all I could do to keep my previously ingested sandwich down.

"Please tell me she doesn't sing," I curtled, wincing as the over weight monstrosity approached me.

"Only sometimes," Ariel offered.

"Not the answer I was hoping for."

Wincing was a given as the blubber loomed closer and closer to our proximity. "Ariel," the icky one cooed in a voice dripping with sarcastic sweetness. "How are you?"

I shuddered involuntarily.

"Who's this?" the octopus questioned, directing her slutty gaze at me.

"Oh, that's Axel," Ariel dismissed. "He's my brother."

I gawked at Ursula's domineering chest. "Are you wearing a push up bra?" I blurted.

Ursula grimaced. "My, he's charming."

"More charming than you," I buffed. "Not that that's much of an accomplishment."

"Axel!" Ariel hissed.

I couldn't help it. This blob of blubber was grossing me out.

That and something just didn't seem right.

I found myself defensively floating in front of Ariel, separating her from the giant, looming octopus that was before her. It was an action done without my consent, and I didn't even realize I was doing it until Ariel pushed me aside and swam ahead of me.

"I need legs," she pleaded desperately. "Flounder's in trouble. I need to rescue him!"

A smirk began to pull at the corners of Ursula's mouth. "Of course you do, darling," she simmered in response.

"Don't call her darling," I muttered, barely audible. "Only I can call her darling."

I was ignored in the light of the current disaster, which was just as well considering my previous remark isn't something I'd want tattooed on my chest.

"Can you help me?" Ariel continued to beg.

Ursula nodded affirmatively. "Yes, yes, of course I can. But as you well know, everything comes with a price."

Ariel visibly gulped.

It was then the octopus started to eye my seahorse tail in a very suspicious manner.

"Dude, quit checking me out. I'm too young for you."

Ursula's thickly outlined eyes widened in surprise. "I would never...!"

"Oh please," I scoffed. "You know you want me."

The over weight sea minion shook her head violently, as if trying to wave the very pleasant image out of her mind. Her double chin jiggled accordingly.

"I'll tell you what," she began, inhaling sharply. "I'll give Ariel a set of legs for a day in exchange for one of your babies."

My mouth sagged open. "What?"

"You heard me," Ursula confirmed sadistically, grinning in light of my horror. "Don't worry, you'll get the baby back as long as Ariel returns at the end of the day. I need to make sure my precious doesn't run away on me, now don't I?"

"But...but..." I stuttered. "They're my babies!"

I subconsciously threw my arms around my lower abdomen (or at least, what would have been my lower abdomen if I weren't donning scales) in a silent gesture of protection over my hibernating sea horse children.

"You'll get them back," Ursula repeated non chalantly. "I don't see what you're so worried about."

"Let's see how many you've got," Ariel chirped, violating my fin and prying open the pouch containing the newborns. She seemed fully intent on saving Flounder and didn't much care for the troubles of anyone else.

"Get out of there! Stop molesting me!"

Ariel continued to poke around until she produced a tiny, sleeping baby sea horse that curled up into a perfect round ball, almost as if it were still encapsulated within the egg it had previously just hatched out of, in the palm of her hand. It began to tremble due to the sudden drop temperature as it habitually continued to suck on its tail. All of the sudden it expelled a barely audible 'achoo,' accompanied by the gentle fluttering open of it's saucer like eyes as its line of vision darted around in a panic.

"Aww, it's a preemie!"

"Of course it's a preemie," I muttered. "You just ripped it out of the womb."

"You know what they say, cesarean sections are always the best way to go," Ursula remarked in all of her grossness.

Good heavens, did I just give birth?

"Gimme my kid," I demanded. "I want to hold her."

"Him," Ariel corrected. "He has a pouch for babies. So it's a guy."

"Don't care. I want my baby."

Ariel obliged and handed me my newborn child. It toppled into my outstretched hands and innocently looked up at me, blinking in rapid succession as it slowly registered my face.

"Daddy?" it squeaked, smiling.

Goodness. That's it. I'm in love.

"Mine," I stated, clasping my hands around my baby. "He's mine. You can't have him."

"Well then, Ariel's not going to get any legs, now is she?"

Ariel's face paled in horror.

"Axel, please," she begged, on the verge of a mental break down. "How would you feel if someone was about to kill your best friend?"

Ya know, for someone as truly moronic as she is, she has this exceedingly odd habit of saying the most convincing things at the most dire times.

I quickly pictured Roxas in a frying pan and, after I got done initially smirking at the absurdity of his little blond head popping out of the top of a stove, I grimly gave a nod of consent.

Not that Roxas would mind being cooked all that much. He'd probably be too busy playing with the bubbles in the boiling pot to notice what was going on.

"So do we have a deal then?" Ursula suggested, using a strangely happy tone in the midst of such a drastic situation.

"Not quite," I mused, smirking myself. I made a protective fist around my preemie child and with the other free hand quickly summoned my beloved chakram out of the abyss of darkness. "New change of plans. Give Ariel a frickin' set of legs or I chop your tentacles off one by one."

At this moment my kid decided to pop his head out of my fist by wedging his scrawny little neck in between my knuckles and peering out over the clenched palm of my hand. With his miniscule fins up by his eyes, he mused in appreciation of my newly acquired weapons.

"Ooooh! Daddy, shiny!"

"Get back in their Squirt," I commanded. "You don't need to see this."

As it turns out, my momentary lack of attention did not go unnoticed. Next thing I knew, the stupid pair of stringy boogers who I had originally perceived as useless swam by and snatched up my weapon, leaving me empty handed and completely defenseless.

"What was that about my tentacles?" Ursula repeated saucily. "The kid. Now."

I scowled intensely. "You do anything to my child and, rest assured, I will have you being served at Castle Oblivion as an appetizer."

"Aww," Ursula mocked. "I'm not important enough to be an entrée?"

"If we serve you as an appetizer you're big enough to be used for leftovers," I grumbled. "For three weeks."

I didn't bother to mention there would be twelve people eating her every night, either. Twelve people. Three weeks. Impressive.

Demyx would have fun sautéing her.

Then we could use her leftover blubber for candles.

"Axel," Ariel elbowed me. "Just give her your kid. We'll come back for him, I promise."

I silently complied by handing over my precious child to an eagerly awaiting Ursula.

"Daddy?" the little one squeaked. "Daddy go bye bye?"

"Daddy will come back," I cooed assuringly, patting my child on the head with one finger (if I used my entire hand I'd probably break the tiny thing's neck.)

"Unless Daddy loses Ariel," Ursula snarled. "Then I keep you for lunch."

I seethed in response to the previous remark.

"Give Ariel her legs. Now."

"As you wish," Ursula complied.

In the moment, Ariel spontaneously became engulfed in a ball of light as it encapsulated her frame whole, swallowing her being into a blinding flash of various sparkles and shimmers. After a couple of moments of intense glow, a human Ariel emerged, grasping her throat with both hands and vainly trying to suck oxygen out of the water.

"You snitch!" I cried. "You made it so she can't breathe!"

"That's what humans do, dear. They breathe oxygen."

"She's gonna die down here!"

"Well then you better hurry."

With one last deadly snarl, I clasped my hands around Ariel's wrist and began to frantically drag her towards the surface. On my way out of the cave, I silently drove my elbow into the stringy booger's eye and reclaimed my weapon of choice from his possession.

"My poopsie!" Ursula cried in dismay.

Poopsie? I knew the two resembled spaghetti and boogers, but feces never crossed my mind.

Regardless, I continued to dart to the surface as Ariel convulsed behind me. I had to swim extra hard to make up for the puniness of my seahorse tail. I noted my abdomen was severely sore after the previous incident, almost as if the muscles inside my pouch were grinding against each other and someone was trying to wretch them out.

Goodness. Was I actually getting cramps?

I didn't have time to ponder such feminine things now. I needed to get Ariel to the surface before she died on me. Because that would be terribly inconvenient.

Also: I wouldn't get Squirt back. I just love how I habitually started referring to my kid as Squirt. That name is about as poetic as a butcher knife.

I eventually emerged from the sea and threw Ariel up on my back to prevent her from drowning. I hastily scanned the horizon for some conveniently placed stray wooden planks or a rock precipice of some kind to lug her oxygen needing body on to. Much to my dismay, there were no such luxuries in sight. And my sea horse tail was slowly giving out.

"Ariel! Ariel! Where are youuu?"

I paused. I heard someone beckoning the now unconscious mermaid, but there were no people in sight.

"Ar—iel! You're father iz goin' tooo kill mee!"

At this point I tried looking down and was surprised to see a miniscule red crab poking out of the water looking directly as me, pinchers poised and ready to tear me to shreds if necessary.

"You!" he cried in a thick Jamaican accent. "You kidnapped Ariel!"

"You gotta be kidding me."

"I most certainly am not!" the crab responded, most flabbergasted. "Now you shall meet your fate, you dastardly evil bad-doer!"

I immediately summoned my chakram in response.

"Call me that again and I'll make crab cakes out of you."

My intimidation tactics work quite nicely.

The crab crawled into his shell. "I...I am not afraid of you!"

"Mhmm," I drawled out, unconvinced. I knocked on his shell with my fist. "Then why are we playing peek-a-boo?"

"I happened to like that game as a child," the crab admitted sheepishly.

I paused. "I...um...don't care."

The crab's head emerged. "Oh."

"Look," I began, tiring of the infamous small talk that drives me up walls. "Flounder's been picked up be a fishing boat. We need to save him before nightfall otherwise Ariel loses her legs and I lose my kid."

"Ariel has legs?!" the shell donning individual gasped. I found it amusing how much his eyes bulged when I alarmed him. Almost as if he has a severe thyroid problem.

"For the moment," I assured him. "And your friend is about to become a meal if you don't do something."

"When did she get legs?!" the sun burnt animal continued.

"...a couple moments ago..." I stated slowly, having trouble seeing why this took priority over Flounder's current predicament.

"No! No, she can't have legs, she can't!"

I gritted my teeth.

"Flounder just got picked up by a fishing boat. He is going to die. He is going to be eaten alive. You need to help me now. Is any of this getting through to you?"

The crab's jaw sagged open, hitting the ocean in one giant slop.

"Why didn't you say so, mon?!"

"...I just did." I grumbled, slapping my forehead in aggravation. Mortal stupidity never ceases to amuse me. "Now shoo. Go find some fishing boats. Make yourself useful."

"I'll come back as soon as I find one!" the crab bellowed, poising one crab claw patriotically over head.

"Yes. That's great. Now go. Please."

"Yes sir!"

I have never met an animal who I wanted to cook so desperately upon the first five minutes of acquaintance.

But I suppose there's a first time for everything.

Eventually I spotted a piece of lone drift wood floating not too far off my bobbing point along with the waves. I had to get Ariel off my back soon before I accidentally killed her because that would be, ya know, bad.

I threw Ariel up onto the plank with all the strength my upper torso could muster (for it is rather difficult to maneuver when you are half submerged in water) and stared blankly at her momentarily, at a loss for what to do next. How does one go about waking up a sleeping girl anyways? The common sibling trick of splashing water unmercifully upon the face crossed my mind. At least it did until I realized that would be like trying to wake a human up by telling them to breathe. At a desperate lack of options, I cleared my throat in the most manly way possible and readied myself for what three days prior I would not be caught dead doing whilst sober.

"Look at this stuff," I began melodically. "Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the...boy...the boy who has, everything?"

Nothing.

I tried another verse.

"Look at my bod, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my abs are complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the man, the man who has, everything?"

Still. Nothing.

I sighed a tired, mangled breath.

"It's a small world after all..." I trailed off, wincing and squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassed apprehension. "It's a small world after—"

Ariel began to stir. Thank God. My off key theatrical renditions were torture even to myself, and I consider myself amazing at everything. I have an ego to suffocate all life, what can I say?

"Doofus?" Ariel murmured, her eyes slowly fluttering open.

"Good morning bed head," I cooed. "Thank me for saving your life later. It's nice to see you're not dead. Did the harmonious tone of my lovely vocal chords wake you up?"

"They woke me up alright," Ariel confirmed. "Good heavens Axel, you weren't kidding when you said you sing horribly. I can see why you only do it drunk."

Ah. Horrifically blunt to the last. How much more little sibling like can you get?

"Thanks darling. I love you too."

"You do?" Ariel asked, hopeful. Her face perked up an alarming degree. I would have to be a cruel, heartless bastard not to comply too her inquisition.

Damn.

"Eh..." I stammered. Wooing and kissing and flattering to a certain extent is all fun and games, but throw that pesky L word in there and everything gets blown to hell.

Or maybe I'm just intimidated by it.

It's not something you throw around lightly. Even I know that.

Gracious, am I actually displaying scruples? It must be a sign of the impending apocalypse.

Knowing I had to think fast, I quickly blurted out, "I'm not capable of it."

Heh. Impressive. Didn't think I could come up with such a convincing explanation on the spot like that.

"Yes you are silly!" Ariel spat, glomping me on the side of my head. Any other girl would have had her extremity severed for doing such. How does she get away with these things?

"Mhmm," I drawled out, unconvinced, or at least pretending to be.

Ariel seemed to contently beam at me for a minute before sporadically twitching and simultaneously sucking newly required oxygen through her mouth.

"Oh my gosh! Flounder!"

She's spacey to say the least.

"Don't worry hun, I got it covered," I said smoothly, taking the opportunity to bask in the praise Ariel was destined to lavish on me in response to my actions. "I told that little lobster fellow of yours to scope the area out for boats. He seemed neurotic enough, he'll probably be back in a jiffy."

Ariel seemed to relax slightly, but not enough for my satisfaction.

"It's alright," I soothed unnecessarily, once again going that extra inch to comfort her for reasons I couldn't comprehend. "Flounder will be fine."

It didn't work as well as I was hoping, but I doubt I would be consolable if I knew Roxas was somewhere in a frying pan.

"Anyway," I blurted, thinking perhaps I should change the subject to take Ariel's mind off of things. "Talk to me."

Ariel's face paled in response to the uncalled for interrogation.

Perhaps making the traumatized mermaid speak right now was not the best of ideas.

"Okay," I said cheerily. "I'll talk. I'm twenty one. How old are you?"

At least, I think I'm twenty one. Well, actually, no, I'm positive I'm twenty one. I died on my birthday.

"Sixteen," Ariel squeaked.

"Oh sweet Mother of Mary, you're jail bait..."

"Excuse me?" Ariel questioned.

"Nothing," I promptly responded.

"...do you have any sixteen year old friends?" Ariel ventured in a quaky voice, trying desperately to put on a brave front and attempt conversation. It was kinda cute in a pathetic sort of way.

"Haha, Demyx acts like he's sixteen," I coughed out dryly.

Ariel's eyebrows knit closely together. "Hey..."

"I was just kidding sweetheart, calm down. Now that I think about it, Luxord acts like an adolescent from time to time too."

"Luxord?"

"Yeah," I smirked, nostalgically staring off into the distant horizon. "He's my drinking buddy."

Oops.

"Do you sing duets with him?" Ariel asked quizzically, a smirk playing on the corners of her lips. Ah, mission accomplished. The girl was smiling. Maybe the oops wasn't necessary.

"Yes, actually," I admitted, ready to say anything to get Ariel to smile.

"What songs?"

"You're obsessed with songs, you do know that, right?"

"Of course I am. Everything had music within."

Gosh. She sounded like Demyx. Gag me.

"Yes," I agreed half heartedly, recalling the inanimate objects of Beast's Castle with startling clarity. "Yes it does."

"Even you!" Ariel exclaimed, excited.

"Yes, but apparently I suck."

"Well, yeah..." Ariel flicked her wrist in dismissal. "But 'sokay. I'm sure you're useful for something."

Fighting intense urge to burn certain mermaids right about now...

"Let's change the subject, shall we?" I muttered, not really enjoying be demoted by an illegal merfolk. "Why do you mermaids wear sea shells anyway?"

Obviously I knew it was for modesty reasons, I'm not a total perverted moron. But I wanted to know why shells. Why not something more...comfortable. I don't have any female bosom to speak for, but I know those ridges can not be easy on the flesh.

Oh don't look at me like that. You're all thinking it. I'm just the only one with enough balls to say it.

"Because B Shells are too small and D Shells are too big," Ariel responded simply.

Bloody hell.

"You did not just say that," I grunted, burying my face in my forearms.

"Say what?"

"Nothing."

Ariel began to mindlessly comb her agile fingers through her hair in blissful ignorance. She was amusing if nothing else.

It was then that I unintentionally chose to have my eyes wander down south and for the first time took heed of the fact that Ariel was...indeed, naked.

"Um..." I stammered sporadically, eyes bulging in unexpecting alarm. I could not see any unmentionables, but Ariel's bare flesh was enough to hint at what the drift wood was conveniently hiding.

"Yes?" Ariel questioned, stopping her fingers midstroke. I could feel my body temperature rising. I know I know. I frolic around the galaxy looking for woman and then God Almighty finally plops a blaring naked one right in front of me like a Christmas present and all I do is float there and blush. So much for the self proclaimed suave chick magnet. Show me breasts and I get tongue tied. It's not that I don't appreciate female anatomy, gracious no, it's more like I subconsciously pick up manners I'm embarrassed I possess. Do ladies really strive to find a gentleman? I always presumed they favored the bad boys. Hence my persona.

Maybe Belle is right. I am trying too hard.

But I don't admit these things. I avert my eyes because that's who I am. I'm a pathetic excuse for a man when it comes to sexual pleasures and I can't help it. Since when did such an admirable personality trait pick up such bad connotations? It's like a sin to be pleasant and mannerly. I have proof: Xigbar. He's a pig. He got a girl. I take pains to be humanely decent. I get mistaken to be gay.

You tell me what's wrong with that picture.

"Are you...um...indecent?" I grumbled.

Ariel looked down and admired herself in all of her starch nudity.

"Why yes I am," she said matter of factly.

Well she was certainly calm enough. I suppose that makes it easier.

Wait. No it doesn't.

"You need clothes," I determined, scanning the sea like I would magically find some lone camisole floating admist the waves.

"Why?" Ariel questioned.

"Whatdya mean why?!" I hollered, snapping momentarily. "Goodness Ariel, what's wrong with you?!"

"I'm a mermaid," she answered simply. "All I wear is a bra."

"Yeah well you're not wearing one now!!!"

"I suppose I could fix that," she mused.

"That would be appreciated."

Ariel scoped out the area totally non chalant. "Do you happen to see any seaweed?"

"No." I answered pointedly. Who know such a trivial thing as kelp would play such a determining factor in my manhood? I had never been more desperate for plankton in my entire existence.

Eventually some green matter happened to make its way over to where the two of us were floating and Ariel begrudgingly covered herself up in an odd mesh of tangled seaweed. I was exceedingly grateful. I didn't need illegal body parts tempting me. Bad enough she's swimming around in undergarments as it is.

I don't quite remember what provoked either of us to do such, but eventually conversation died down and we grew rather wearisome. I, for one, was not custom to swimming so much in one day. I avoid water like the frickin' plague. And I suppose the human transition took a lot out of Ariel. Before we knew it, the two of us were leaning on the drift wood fast asleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Lemme drive."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you'll get us killed."

"Who cares, we're already dead."

"Roxas, you are not piloting OURS, and that's final."

"Why?"

I sighed. "You already asked that."

"Why?"

"Because you thrive off being annoying."

"Why?"

"Because you lack the gene that makes most people tolerable."

"Why?"

By now I had figured out where he was going with this.

"Roxas, you are not funny. Shut up. Now."

"Make me," Roxas dared, sticking his tiny pink tongue out at me. Rotten booger.

"I can't hurt you," I muttered. "I'll get exiled."

"Nah, it's because you love me," Roxas dismissed, waving his hand in the air and marching definitely to the driver's seat.

"I appreciate how much you listen to me on my own ship."

"It's not your ship," Roxas grumbled pointedly. "It's ours. Therefore I get a fifty percent say in all matters concerning anything whatsoever."

"Yeah, but so do I."

Roxas paused, contemplating momentarily. I had unwittingly caught him off guard.

"But...I'm cute."

Bloody Hell.

"And I'm hot," I countered.

Stalemate. Such goes most conversations with Roxas and me.

"Yeah...butbutbut—"

"But but but nothing. I win." Of course, I technically didn't win. It was a tie. But you know me. I never lose. Or at least: I never admit to it if I do.

Roxas leaped over my seat and threw himself into the driver's position. "No you don't," he concluded firmly, and proceeded to toggle with the controls as we approached the Pride Lands with great speed.

I had given up arguing otherwise by this point.

I should never have let Roxas into that seat. The kid can't drive to save his non existing soul. He likes to think otherwise, but everyone knew he sucked. He was good at making pancakes and wielding two key blades. Not driving. Though for the life of me I couldn't figure out how on earth someone could be so gifted at fighting with both arms moving simultaneously yet have issues maneuvering a lone joystick.

But that was Roxas for ya. Never made any sense. Especially towards the end. At least in the beginning it was funny.

"Weeee!" Roxas squealed as the ship began to waver uncontrollably. I could feel it getting progressively more and more unstable. "I'm gonna get me a girl!"

"Not if you talk like that," I muttered off hand, subconsciously grabbing onto the sides of my chair.

"What's wrong with how I talk?" Roxas demanded. "I talk gooder than you."

"I rest my case."

"That was intentional, by the way," Roxas added sheepishly.

"I didn't notice."

"Shut up. Yes you did."

By now the ship was practically hurtling from side to side. I did what I never thought possible and buckled in. Wow.

The ship darted into the gravity field and began to plummet head first to the surface. The metal contraption burst into the atmosphere and was hovering just above the sky line as we fell from orbit in an interesting display of oranges and reds. We looked liked a sunburned orange.

Roxas began to hum a little tune as we were delivered from destruction. He was the only person I knew who sang as he crashed (besides Luxord, who sang while drunk.) It was almost as if he was completely oblivious to the fact he was about to get himself killed again and was simply enjoying the moment like nothing was wrong. Even I like to believe my best friend was not that stupid.

"You do know you suck at flying, right?" I inquired, gritting my teeth as the grass grew greener and greener the closer we got to the land.

"I do not!" Roxas pouted, taking his eyes off the windshield to look directly at me, saline building up in his corners. His lower lip quivered dangerously and he was donning the most ridiculous take on puppy dog eyes I had ever seen. Well, except for when Vexen tried the feat. He looked like a walrus with a thyroid problem rather than anything else. Zexion had some novel he wanted and refused to part with it. Thus a sniffle and a whimper from Vexen, so totally out of place but that man will do anything for the sake of a book. Lord knows I wish I had never witnessed it.

"You do to," I countered flatly, grimacing. "Keep your eyes on the planet."

"Why?"

"Do not start that again."

Roxas smirked in anticipation. I was half tempted to wretch the joy stick away from his sweaty little adolescent grasp and pilot the damn thing myself from the passenger seat.

I chose now to look out the windshield to assess future damage and was surprised, if not alarmed, to be greeted by an interesting rock formation crawling with an abundance of...lions.

"Roxas..." I began cautiously. I squinted to adjust my vision. This couldn't be right. But it looked like it was. There were four legged, furry mammals occupying the plains beneath. Some were dark, some were light. Some had manes and all possessed Roxas' much longed for tails. It was like a checkerboard of animal ethnicity.

"Roxas..." I repeated as we loomed closer. The ship was hurtling down from the sky and headed straight for the rock thing. "What am I seeing?"

Roxas' brows furrowed together in confusion. "I dunno. Looks like animals. Lemme check the radar," he chipped.

"Whadya mean check the radar? You're the one driving numb skull!"

"I can multi task," he answered non chalantly. I knew right then we were doomed.

"You're really pushing it."

"Am not," Roxas jibbed as he flicked on the radar and abruptly applied the air break so we were suspended awkwardly in mid air. That wasn't supposed to be how you used the darn thing but Roxas certainly didn't know any better. A liquid smooth feminine voice began to flow from the speaker overhead.

"Good afternoon Master Axel."

Roxas shot me a quizzical side ways look. "Master Axel?" he repeated.

"What?" I shot back in defense. "It would have sounded wrong if I programmed a male voice saying it."

My friend shook his head in response.

"Computer," he addressed. "Can you tell us—"

"Annabelle." I corrected. Roxas looked at me again. "She has a name!" I snipped like he should have known this already. "Annabelle!"

"You have got to be kidding me. I didn't agree to this."

"I didn't ask you."

Roxas sighed in frustration. "Fine. Annabelle. Can you tell us the local species residing on this planet?"

The voice simmered in contempt. "I only respond to Master Axel."

Roxas glared.

It was my turn to stick my tongue out. "Annabelle," I began, my voice dripping with over done sweetness just to further irk my best friend. "Can you tell us the local species residing on this planet?"

"Those words are too big for you," Roxas muttered, patentedly pouting and folding his arms over his chest.

I kicked him under the dashboard.

"You're just bitter than Annabelle doesn't like you."

Annabelle seemed to coo in response to my voice. "Master Axel, you have such a sexy voice."

Roxas' eyes bulge. "Did you program her to respond to questions or to flirt with you?!"

"Both," I admitted unashamed. "Annabelle is my techno girlfriend."

"Because God Forbid you have a real one."

I ignored the insult. Roxas was simply just envious.

"Why thank you Annabelle, I like your voice too."

"I like your voice more," she responded, voice deep and sultry.

Roxas buried his face in his hands. "You have got to be kidding me..."

"She's not," I assured him.

"Not, not her, you! I can't believe you made a techno girlfriend! This is worse than dating Larxene!"

"Nothing is worse than dating Larxene," I muttered.

"Dating Demyx." Roxas stated.

I involuntarily gagged on myself.

"Master Axel," Annabelle inquired. "I have assembled a list of the local species whilst flirting with you, just like you programmed me to do: flirt while processing. Would you like me to address the topic as of now?"

"Indeed," I replied smirking wildly. Females boost my ego, human or not.

"Lions, giraffes, zebras, antelope, elephants, rhinos, baboons, warthogs, hyenas, and mere cats."

Silence.

"Um..." Roxas began. "Any humans?"

"Negative," the computer replied.

Roxas than inexplicably burst out into peels of uncontrollable laughter. In the midst of his side splitting fit of hysterics, his foot must have somehow managed to slide off the air brake and the ship continued to plummet towards the dreadful rock thingie. Tears rolling down his plump little puffy cheeks, Roxas completely ignored the fact we were looming closer and closer to our second deaths.

"Roxas..." I warned in apprehension. No response, not unless you count blabbering chuckles a response. "Roxas..." I tried again when the first attempt failed. "ROXAS!" I hollered.

I then grabbed the joystick from my hysterical friend and swerved last minute to avoid impending doom. But I didn't avoid soon enough. The tail end of the ship grazed against the top most prominent rock on the mountain and the back end was sent spinning to the ground in a blazing inferno of debris. In response to loosing the posterior, our ship went flying out of control. It barrel rolled head over heels as we zig zagged to our demise that was supposed to lie at rest in the great sprawling green plains of the Pride Lands.

I don't remember much of the actual crash. In fact, I scarcely remember anything at all, except passing out, and all because my idiot little friend couldn't control his gaping black hole of a mouth.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Someone was pinching my nose.

"Mon! Mon wake up!"

My eyes shot open as my arms instinctively swatted at the stupid little sea minion that had some sort of deranged attachment to Ariel. As my vision focused, I was greeted with a set of bulging bug eyes set in the face of a crab.

"What is it?" I questioned groggily, rubbing my violated facial feature gingerly.

The crab's face twitched with characteristic nervous anticipation. "Mon! I finally found Flounder!"

The next thing I remember is my ear drums being shattered by Ariel's abrupt, unexpected, high pitched, deafening scream.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AN: AHHHHHHHHHH! So many reviews! I adore you all!!! (Vixen bows down and exalts the hordes of holy reviewers.) TWENTY SEVEN REVIEWS! I am so terribly grateful! Sorry I took so long to post, but I was in the hospital MUCH longer than expected (hence why I decided to grace you with thirty pages of Axel goodness as opposed to the typical twenty.) The one good thing about being the hospital with nothing to do: I contemplated my fanfiction for hours on end and I am now immensely proud to say I HAVE FIGURED OUT THE ENDING. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! And I shall not tell you what it is! Double mwa ha ha ha ha! Rest assured, it is terribly well thought out and very wicked awesome. I'm happy with it. Now I just have to get around to writing. Hee.

Thank you for taking the time to leave such long, well thought out reviews with so much thought and substance behind them. I am terribly grateful. I adore the lengthy responses and do my best to comply to the suggestions and requests of my readers (if you wanna see more of a certain Organization member, lemme know! I stuck Luxord in this chapter under request, wee!)

I'm so emotional. People leave me long reviews and I get, like, high off of it. I go around bobbing the rest of the night. Yes people, make Vixen bob. Leave reviews. Haha.

The constructive criticism is appreciated as well. I adore making my writing better, so helpful suggestions are welcome too (although, please keep in mind: 'your story sucks goat balls' is not constructive criticism.) You people are amazing. Please keep that in mind.

Oh my gosh. My brother abhorred Squirt. Depending on how you guys receive him, one of two things may happen. Of course, if Mario has any say, Squirt would be served as an entrée at Eric's palace in the next chapter. So we'll see how that goes.

The Roxas flashback seemed to have nice chemistry, but I think the prior Ariel bonding scene was a tad bit choppy with the dialogue. I dunno, maybe I'm being paranoid. Axel also had a couple lame lines with Ursula I couldn't resist the urge to write. Poor Axel, being subject to my unrelentless tendency to make him seem like a dumb butt. Heh. I enjoy my power. I tried to develop the sister thing a little more with Adelaide, which will play out in further chapters. Lemme know how that turned out.

With all these fun things being said, it is now time to move onto the twenty seven cookies that lay in store. HAPPY DANCE TIME!

Annabelle was such a joy to write. :)

COOKIES!

(Hands Padfoot a raisin cookie.) Lea is too hot. The more I think about this, the more it seems to be true. Hmm. Oh, and I have to say, you have my exact line up for all the same favorite male Organization members. Axel, Zexion, Roxas...oh, and of course our favorite sitar player is up there as well. I'm also developing this thing for poor little Xaldin (who is not really that little when you think about it.) Ha.

(Hands Tatikara a bag full of numerous cookies, among them being chocolate chip and peanut butter.) YAY! I'm glad you enjoyed Atlantica so much and I was able to keep Ariel in character. (I see so much of her lately, what with the new DVD release of Little Mermaid and all...Disney has her plastered all over every merchandising tactic known to man kind.) I'm SO happy I was able to provoke you to audibly scold Axel! My mission was accomplished! I love when I evoke vocal responses to my stories, even though the characters can't hear them. Means you are enjoying the story. Wee! Sea horse tail! I'm glad that went over well! Thank you for your empathy, such things are always appreciated.

(Gives Aspirations a cookie sandwich.) HE DID GIVE BIRTH! LOL! I gave him cramps, too. Heh. My revenge for being cursed female with a menstrual cycle. Again, your sympathy is appreciated. :)

(Dishes out Ri2 a chocolate covered strawberry.) Ooh! A list review! These are cool! I suppose Axel could tell Larxie about Xigbar, but he's never known for saying things that need to be said. He mentioned it, but of course he offended the blondie in the process and she stormed out before anything of real substance could be shared. I never thought of Larxene being feminine with Namine! Time line wise I'd have to see where I could stick her in, because that would definitely be interesting. LOL: "Secretly dig her." Priceless. Ah yes, Zexion has a soft spot for chickens and animals. I spontaneously made him a vegan for the heck of it, figured it would be something I could poke fun at in later chapters. He's just an animal lover, I met a lot of people who liked animals more than they liked people whilst trying to give away my brother's turtle. I modeled him after such observations. Ha, the ship. There is not an explanation for that, I took author liberties. I didn't want the ship to sink, therefore it didn't. I ignored all rules of physics. I know that, lol. I'm bad. My science teacher would be ashamed. ARIEL WITH MANGA EYES! LOL! And killing her...Disney must be rolling in his grave...I laughed out loud on that one. Horrah for spontanuity! You're review made me giggle.

(Hands Writer some baked goodies...burnt baked goodies, but goodies none the less...I can't bake...) Ha, what can I say on here that I haven't said in email? LOL. I laughed out loud reading your review. Laughs for emphasis I'm glad you derived so much enjoyment from having Axel REALLY see Larxene...that was EXACTLY the reaction I was going for. I'm also thrilled with the prospect you are actually enjoying Larxene the way I write her. I feel so accomplished. "Die bitch die!" is worthy of being forever quoted.

(Hands Wolf some...uh...meat? Er, my lame attempt to be funny. Don't kill me on account of failing miserably, please.) No! I would never shoot you! I'm glad you love my story so much! It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.

(Hands Phantom some invisible cookies. More lame jokes. That don't make sense. Because Phantoms aren't invisible. But ghosts are...and phantoms are sort of like ghosts...kinda...maybe...maybe not...never mind.) You're review was so cute! And amusing! Eats up plushies in hungry appreciation...metaphorically anyway...I wouldn't really eat a stuffed animal... Thank you for the compliments! I appreciate such things! I'm glad the sentimentality got through to my readers (does a happy dance.) Ah yes, Flaming Shadows. Long forgotten Flaming Shadows. Enough people have actually asked about that to almost inspire me to update it very soon. I have the entire next chapter planned out (hurrah) and the ending. So I just have to get around to writing it. Haha. It should be up fairly soon (and by fairly I mean possibly sometime this month.) Though I don't make promises because sometimes I get sidetracked, LOL. So hurrah for our favorite Platinum Head!

(Hands Forgotten a mint chocolate chip cookie.) You are actually not the first person to comment on cracking Mulan and Axel together. Wanna know a secret? After this story is completed, I actually plan on putting in a bonus chapter at the end and pairing them too together just for the fun of it (of course, the chapter will have no relevance to the story what so ever and Mulan is not the Disney girl I have in mind for Axel—you shall meet her very soon, I believe) but I can't resist the urge to write it since so many people seemed interesting in the Axel/Mulan pairing. So perhaps I shall amuse myself and divulge in the coupling as a bonus author's note. Heehee. Tell me what you think!

(Covers Constance in a plethora of ice cream, fudge brownies, cheese cakes slices, and—oh yeah—cookies.) WOW. Your review is colossal. Words can't express happy bobbing Vixen's gratitude. Yes, Axel's butt is indeed phenomenal. As is his singing voice. Well, Quinton Flynn's anyway. Reno and Axel should do a musical duet on Broadway. I'd buy front row tickets just to have the pleasure of showering in their spit. TMI, I know. I'm glad Roxas is laughable, which were my intentions entirely. Oh, and no, I didn't mean to have any yaoi hints in there. I probably just worded it poorly. Stupid me. The shampoo line I could not resist writing. I can just picture Xemnas doing that, can't you? Hm, maybe you don't want to picture it. I'm so glad his 'life passing before my eyes' paragraph was memorable! Weee, you picked up on that! Every author's dream, I'm sure: having things remembered they intended to be memorable. Music to my ears...well, technically candy to my eyes this being a computer screen and all. But you get the point. CANNABLISIM! Ha! I snorted to myself writing that line. The temptation was too great, I couldn't resist. Hm, putting Riku in this fic...I'll think about it, but no promises. I'm trying to see where that would fit in. (Scratches head.) Note to self: ponder later. Cookies now. Hee hee. You're compliments concerning my fanfiction being wrongly classified were beautiful. I am honored to hear this is novel worthy. Really. It made my entire week. Being compared to published authors...wow. My dream. To be published? My fantasy. Ha. Oh, and I would never shoot you for giving me a long review. Lemme say one thing:

I LOVE LONG REVIEWS!

They are eye candy! And I appreciate the time you take to leave them! Why oh why would I ever shoot you for being benevolent? (Shakes head.) I shall give you cookies, not bullets. (Hands Constance a piece of cake because she knows Constance likes cake better than cookies anyways.)

(Hands Admiral a bag of Milanoes—fancy gourmet cookies from bakeries.) Hugs Wee! You really saw Larxene! My efforts were not in vain! My little insightful scene on her character was appreciated! (Smiles.) Yes, Xigbar does scream abusive, at least he does to me anyway. I AM going somewhere with that, and it is more than just meets the eye. Hurrah for plot twists! OMGOSH OMGOSH OMGOSH! GOT IT MEMORIZED! PERFECT! PERFECT! PERFECT! (Fan girl squeals!) That is SO going in there! SQUEE! Whichever one of you came up with that: geniusness. Pure geniusness. (Nods affirmatively.) I truly appreciate your concern over my well being. It means the world to me. (Nods again.)

(Hugs Fantasie and gives her iced sugar cookies.) Aw, good luck with your hordes of homework! I'm so terribly relieved you derived enjoyment out of this chapter, and I'm thrilled with the prospect that I can capture Axel's persona. My mission in accomplished! Thank you for informing me of such things. :)

(Hands Erik gaboodles of sugar wafers for kind, generous review...and for that Got It Memorized line that Admiral informed me about...you need to read his cookies to understand just how funny I thought that was. Priceless.) I made you cry AND fall out of your seat in laughter? WOOT! I never thought I'd be so happy to make someone cry before, LOL. I'm glad the suspicion is up for Xigbar, heh, just the way I wanted it. I love dragging things out over various chapters, can't you tell? Haha, his classic fight scene. Axel IS classic, is he not? LOL. And yeah, I don't understand how 'commit it to memory' goes to 'got it memorized' either. Maybe they thought it sounded cooler? I dunno. Thank you for your concern, it means so much to me. I really appreciate it. :)

(Drowns Minnet in a plethora of sugar wafers, only because she loves them so much :) ) I laughed when you rambled about kicking your sister. Twas humorous. Not kicking her, but the wording. Indeed. Axel's interpersonal ramblings are such a joy to write. That stream of consciousness gets me every time. I can't resist it. The pull is too great. I have no idea where those merpeople questions came from. I can't believe they were floating around in my head. I can't believe I actually wrote them, LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed! And thank you for your kind words in correlation to my condition. It's comforting to know.

(Hands Lady Keyblade a whole bunch of fudge brownies.) Awww! Thank you for offering to look up the symptoms! (Nods appreciatively.) Yes, I do plan on introducing Zexy Zexion into the story again. He's fun to poke fun at, and one of my favorite characters, hee hee. I suppose this time line is...hmm...well, it's obviously before COM because Larxie is still alive and kicking. Also, it has to be after KHI because Roxas was there, and Roxas didn't appear until after Sora gave himself up in the first game. So ta da! I figured it out! Hurrah for me! And YES, I love the fact the Organization is still ALIVE, LOL!!! I can't believe THEY ALL GOT KILLED OFF! Too much raw characterization was just sitting there practically screaming for attention, and then they all go off and die! ROAR. Anger.

(Dishes out a bucket full of chocolate chips to Ninja.) Three cheers for Philly! Thanks for your moral booster and kind words! They made me smile! Glad you like the story!

(Gives Nocturnal a mocha and espresso brownie.) LOL, a missile on Atlantica? HA HA! Yes, he does react to Ariel's obliviousness. I'm so glad you enjoy it! As for the flashbacks, more to come, as usual. Heh. I can SO see Roxas asking for a tail. I had to stick that in there, couldn't resist. It was just so...so...Roxas-ie. Indeed, surprises are fun, and I plan on throwing a lot more in there. I can not WAIT to write the ending. Hee hee. Thank you for your good luck wish, I'll be sure to remember it! Also: thank you SOOOO much for sharing my story with Espeakus! (Bobs around the room with happy glee.) I appreciate such things!!!

(Hands Story Weaver some graham crackers...quickly realizes those are lame even though Vixen enjoys them...replaces them with yummy chocolate bars instead.) I love how you list everything that makes you laugh! It's so helpful, really! Now I can make sure I have the same kind of humor in the next chapters. (Nods.) I also adore your comment, 'Realization that your best friend is girl is the first step to LOVE!' So true, so true. Well, if the person is a guy anyway. Opposite for me since I'm a girl. LOL. I'm SOOO glad that ship scene with Larxene and Axel went over so well!!! I'm really hyped up about that right now, hee hee. Glad it was enjoyable. Really, really glad.

(Gives Xemagirl a smiley face cookie.) I TOTALLY plan on poking more fun at Axel's pregnancy, especially as to where he received the baby.

(Hands YukiAme some strawberry cookies...do they make those? They should.) I'm glad I'm not the only one who suffers a guilt complex when it comes to doing characters justice, LOL. Yes, I'm almost positive Axel rolled his eyes every time Roxas muttered something along the lines of 'OURS.' They finally crashed, weee! Figured you'd enjoy that particular flashback. I'm glad you liked the relationship him and Ariel had. It does open other sides to him, now that I think about it.

(Dishes out a bunch of traditional Oreos to Golden Memories.) I put Luxord in this chapter for you! WEE! I took your suggestion! Hee hee. I'm glad you know your shampoos so well, I just randomly picked one. Though I could see Xemnas being attracted to the smell of Herbal Essence with its natural fruity flavor and all. (Is it fruit or flowers? I dunno, I use Pert Plus.) I'm so glad you picked up on everything I wanted you too (ie: Xaldin's kid, the all girl slumber party, Axel's little sister who now has a name.) The new wardrobe idea seems pretty nifty, I shall keep that in mind. (Laughs deviously.) Oh, and also, I don't suggest crying underwater, LOL. Doesn't crying, like, require oxygen and stuff? (Grabs chocolate covered pretzels hungrily, feels guilty for hogging them all, gives Hershey's chocolate bar to Memories to appease her.)

(Hands Shizuka an apple tart cookie...I hope you like apples.) I love your analysis of Ariel's character (and not just because it backed up mine, either, LOL.) It made so much sense in all of its multi sentence glory. I think I shall refer people to your review when questioning Ariel's maturity (or lack there of) seeing as though you explained it so well. There is a definite correlation between Ariel and Axel's sister (whom I can now refer to as Adelaide, wee) but I keep such things secret in order to build suspense (mwa ha ha.) Square Enix and Disney romance? Let's break that border, shall we?

(Gives Kamikaze a fudge pop and some cookies.) LOLOLOLOL! You were like, "What?!" Ha, priceless. I wish I could have seen your face! I'm sure that was priceless too. I'm glad you liked the story, however, and did not remain in a state of shock through out its duration. Unpredictability is key and I am oh so very happy I was able to accomplish such (bows) thank you for pointing it out, makes me all giggly (grins for emphasis.) Irish or Scottish...hm. I shall have to ponder that later.

(Smothers Crazy with a plethora of assorted goodies, among them being chocolate, icing, and an abundance of kiwis.) Haha, the title is something I pulled out of my butt. I have no idea where it came from. I just started spontaneously typing it and left it there under settings, where it remains today. Any suggestions? I'm always up for those. I'm so glad I brought you to tears (oh gosh, I sound so masochistic.) Lemme say this: I LOVE your idea for NEMO! AHAHAH! Priceless! (Steals idea.) Well, technically its not stealing since you suggested it, but you know... Thanks for the five stars!

(Grabs a bull dozer and buries Hope in a literal ton of chocolate chip cookies.) Disney used to make such good movies! Ugh, what happened!? (Glares and Home On The Range...or whatever that piece of turd was called.) I miss the singing, I miss the dancing, I miss the fairy tales...WHYWHYWHY did it have to change? Grrr. Such things enrage me. Your role play tales cracked me up to quite and alarming degree. I'm glad the Ariel/Axel relationship was such yummy food for thought, my intentions exactly. Haha, I figured you would be dismayed at the lack of certainly in your favorite pairing. It could still, and very well may, happen. Perhaps I am just messing with everyone's mind (Twilight Zone theme plays in background) perhaps I am not. You will meet the female competition very soon though, so you can hate her then, LOL. Gah, your reviews are NEVER too long, I adore every single word of heavenly literature pouring from the keyboards of fellow Axel fans. Especially you because, as you said, you go in 'rabid fan girl mode' and I find such things terribly amusing as I am guilty of doing such myself. Thank you for your good wishes and concern, really really hope to hear from you soon:)

(Dishes out a billion kazillion million vanilla cookies to Unknown Author.) I improved! I improved! I improved! I improved! (Runs around the room on speed chanting and singing all the while.) 150 percent, no less! Weeeee! Sorry, such things excite me to no extent, as you can probably gather from my spontaneous reaction. Oh, and yes, there is a definite storyline progressing in the background while Axel goes out on all his misadventures. I'm so glad you picked up on that! And I'm ever glader (ahem, made up word) you referred to my characterization as EXCELLENT. Weeee! And as for Will (laughs) yeah, he was TOO much fun to write. I appreciate your words of wisdom and shall correct such things after I finish the story (for I always save the reediting process until the end, due to the fact that if I don't I get very confused and forget to update. I get stuck in the previous chapters and never add new ones. I just keep reediting and reediting and reediting...yeah. LOL. The cycle never stops.) Oh, and while we're on the topic of reediting, I have a question: what on earth can I do to make the first chapter better? I always feel like the first three are my weakest chapters, and I have no idea how to fix them (primarily the first one.) I know there's a few typos laden within the first sentence of the prologue, and I also laced in too many talking tags within the dialogue (he said she said kind of adjectives) but I still feel it is lacking something. I ask you because you always have such insightful editing remarks and I value them greatly. (Nods in appreciation.)

(Hands Org. XIII a cinnamon cookie.) The first time you've laughed at written jokes? I feel so honored! I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much! And yes, I plan on inserting MANY more Organization member scenes and flashbacks through out the duration of my story. They are simply too much fun to write.

(Gives ZeSpooneh a welcome mat and a hug, along with a couple of cookies.) Welcome to the story! Well, sorta. You've been lurking for awhile, but this is the first time you've reviewed. Hurrah! Now you get cookies! I'm glad you actually like how I portray Demyx. I'm waiting for someone to attack me for making him too feminine or whatever. You read every Zexion flashback multiple times? Aww, true fan girl dedication! I'm glad my Zexion writing skills were good enough to be enjoyable the second time round. I am a flashback addict too (hence the abundance) and love nothing more than a good past story to help further characterization. Apparently my addiction is shared, and I am ever so grateful for it. I MADE you a fan girl of Roxas? OMGOSH OMGOSH! I feel REALLY talented now! And I made you want to shoot Xigbar and sympathize with Larxene? WEEE! Happiness! I'm glad I awe you with Axel, for that sexy pyromaniac is definitely awe worthy, and I'm thrilled with the prospect that I apparently do him justice. Oh, and just for the record, I adore long reviews!! How could I not? You people put so much effort into writing them!

(Gives Pikachu some maple cookies and syrup.) Weeeeee, you like my take on Axel! Happiness abounds! (Eats up given applauds eagerly.) I'm glad you derive so much pleasure from my lame attempts at humor. LOL, I see I have a Larxel fan on my hands. I shall keep that in mind. Hee hee. Thank you for the faves and the kind words of concern!

(Hands Splat numerous treats from Halloween...aw heck, here, share my whole pillow case full of goodies, you deserve them.) You're review had me in hysterics. I was laughing from the opening line to the end. I'm glad I'm not the only person still out there who find amusement in fairy tales. Being an animator sounds insanely interesting. Be sure to yell at Disney to include more songs in their animated motion pictures, like in Aladdin and Hercules and Little Mermaid! And...oh gosh...Hunchback...(swoons.) Best. Music. Ever. Best animated movie ever. Do you have a favorite? I think it's pretty obvious which one mine is, ha ha. Your approval of my Axel characterization made me literally squee with joy. Your compliments made my week and I was dancing around the room as a result. No, really, I like leaped out of my chair. I do strange things when I'm happy. Ah, another Mulan/Axel fan! You must read Forgotten's cookies! I discuss my future plans for Mulan and Axel in there. Mwa ha ha. Your comments concerning Cinderella had me in fits of hysterics. I needed a staple gun to hold my sides together. "If I were mentally abused and neglected for ten years I'd be pretty docile, too." Priceless. Sally is definitely coming up in the near future, though I don't know if she'll be next or not. I'll have to think about that (I thought it would make a good chapter for around Halloween but Halloween has come and gone and I still have Axel swimming around in Atlantica. Oh well. It was a good idea in theory.)

(Gives Espeakus an economy size almond fudge cookie.) Thank you so very much for your world of compliments! They made me grin with glee. (Grins.) BTW, I thanked Nocturnal for showing you my story :) I've never met a dedicated Saix fan. No, really. I mean, I know they exist within the archives of fanfiction but I've never run into one. Usually I meet Axel fans (obviously) Zexion fans (that kid has a huge fallowing, and he's never even been in 3D!) and Demyx fans (I am one, even though I tease him unrelentlessly.) Roxas has a small fan base as well. But Saix never really got any attention from the hordes, at least none that I could ever see. You should send me some good Saix stories, it should be interesting to see what people do with his character. Lord knows he got plenty of screen time in KHII. Him and his little elf ears. Why do he and Xigbar happen to be the only two with elf ears? I could never figure that one out. Anyway. Ah yes, Axel and Larxene. I think I have a fairly good idea what is going to happen, but regardless of my inclinations, a Disney girl will be introduced for Axel one way or another. Either as competition or to steal him away. Mwa ha ha, but such things shall be kept secret. (Smirks mischievously.) Your Ariel rant had me laughing out loud, to the point where the volume got so great my brother actually wandered over to see what I was chuckling about. He then proceeded to read your review over my shoulder. We both shared in a frenzy of giggles. (The sea salt cellophane was a truly memorable line.) Also, referring to her as 'slutty fish' made me bellow uncontrollably. And her lack of color coordination? I rewatched the opening scene to Little Mermaid and discovered you are indeed right, they all match except her!!! I never noticed that before, thank you for drawing that humorous conclusion and bringing it to my attention. You have such a fresh and unexplored take on Ariel, twas quiet the amusing piece to read. Thank you so much for your concern (and your lovely compliments), they truly made me feel better :)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It makes me so happy you people chit chat about my story! You people are incredible. Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you think about my foretold Axel mishaps. Means a lot, and it does give me quite an alarming degree of inspiration. You people are so benevolent.

And now I'm gushing.

So I shall stop.

And update.

Because deep down, I think that's what everyone wants, isn't it?