Author: Raven Shadowrose

Title: Epiphany

Rating: K

Pairing: Jeff/Dixie

Summary: Jeff and Dixie think about their feelings

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Casualty, any original characters and this story are my property and I do not give permission for anyone else to use this story.

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone that has read this story, I was going to end it after the second chapter but I think that Dixie and Jeff's story isn't quite finished yet so I'm going to continue with it for a little while longer. Thanks to Beethoven RIP and chan. nelson4444 for their comments, I really do like reading your reviews, another happier chapter coming up :)

Chapter Ten... Dixie.

I'd woken up early, sort of, it wasn't really early, like when we get up for work at six AM, but sometimes you just have to have a lie in. I went downstairs in my pyjamas, Jeff was still asleep and the house was quiet. Little Abs looked up at me as I walked in. 'Morning my little man.' He looked up at me and then lay back down in his basket. 'Too early, I know, go back to sleep,mummy needs to think.' I poured myself a glass of orange juice and stood against the kitchen sink. I wasn't sure what had happened last night, there was a lot to think about. I drank down the last of the juice and placed the glass in the sink. I sat down at the table, I was going to have to think about everything that me and Jeff said to each other.

There were some pretty harsh things said last night and yet the only thing that I really remembered was Jeff saying that he loved me. I was shocked, I had no idea that he was starting to feel anything for me. Where do we go from here? What do we do now? Last night changed a lot of things and there is no taking any of it back. I traced little patterns with my fingers on the table, I usually did this when I was thinking, it helped me put my thoughts in order. It usually did anyway, this time it isn't really helping me much. 'Morning princess.' I jumped when I heard Jeff's voice, I hadn't even heard him come in. 'Oh, morning Jeff.'

'How long have you been up?'

'Not long, an hour or so.'

'Is something the matter?'

'No, I was just thinking.'

'About what?' You love me, I love you and yet I'm supposed to be a lesbian.

'Last night, did you mean it when you said you loved me?'

'Of course I meant it, I would never lie about something like that.'

'When did you know how you felt about me?'

'Do you remember when we spent the night together, after that girl died?'

'I do, it was one of the worst days we've ever had.'

'Having you in my arms felt so right, it had been so long since I spent the night with anyone and then suddenly we were together. I realised how much I missed the comfort of having someone close to me. I honestly do not know how I would have got through that night without you there Dixie.'

'I know how you feel, I didn't know how I was going to survive the night either. That poor girl dying was the only thing I could think about. You made me realise that I had done everything that I could for her. If you weren't there I don't think I would have made it either.'

'I think we rely on each other more than we realise Dix.'

'Me too.' There are still plenty of things to work out. 'What do we do now?'

'I've thought about that myself.'

'And?'

'I don't know.'

'Oh, I see.'

'This is new for both of us, we need time to figure it out.'

'I know.' I ran my hands through my hair, it appears that we are on the same page, I'm glad Jeff is as confused as I am right now, at least we can take things slowly.

I began tracing patterns across the table again, it was comforting, even if it wasn't helping me figure things out like it usually did. 'Is that helping you to figure things out Dixie?'

'Not really.'

'When you think about it, I confessed how I felt about you in a fit of passion after we'd argued, it's not exactly ideal.'

'I know, I think we should take it slowly, one step at a time.'

'Okay, I can work with that. Maybe we should go out to a restaurant or to the cinema.'

'On a date?'

'Why not, we've already established that we feel something for each other. A date might help us explore our feelings a little better.'

'Okay,' I smiled, a date with a man, that is going to be a new experience for me. 'A date it is, I've not been on one of them in the longest time and never with a man.'

'Then I'm honoured to be the first man you go out on a date with.'

'When are we going to do this?'

'Why not tonight, it's not like we're doing anything.'

'Tonight, I'd better start getting myself ready, after all the bathroom isn't a time machine.' Jeff smiled, he looked relieved that I had used our usual joke.

I ran some hot water into the bath and used some of my favourite bubble bath, taking a bath was one of my favourite things to do. As a child I always wanted to go in the bath, I used to drive my parents crazy, they ended up calling me water baby for the longest time. I lay my head back on the bath pillow, the beauty of being short is that I can lie down in the bath, Jeff can't, he's far too tall for that. I sighed as the water soothed and relaxed me, that hasn't changed either, no matter how bad the day has been being in the bath always makes me feel better.

I can hear Jeff moving about in the kitchen, he's getting ready to take Little Abs for a walk, it is nice to know that he's around. I've never really thought about it before but having Jeff around makes me feel safe, it's nice knowing that I'm not alone in this house. That's one of the few conventional things about our marriage, Jeff protects and looks after me, that and the fact that we argue sometimes. It is very rare that we argue and say things to hurt each other, yesterday was one of the rare occasions. I think we'll just put it in the past where it belongs.

I shivered, the water was getting cold. I climbed out of the bath and wrapped myself in my dressing gown, it has been warming on the radiator. I snuggled into the warmth of the fabric, as luxury goes, this is one of the things that I like best. I went downstairs and sat on the sofa, Jeff was still out with Little Abs, I had the house to myself for a little while. I smiled to myself, Little Abs would be dragging Jeff through the mud and puddles, he loved it really, sometimes that man is like a very big kid.

I heard the door open and Jeff placing Little Abs' lead back on the hook behind the door, Jeff came in and stood in front of me. 'Look at you, you're a right lady of leisure.'

'I hope that isn't your way of saying I'm lazy Jeffrey.'

'Of course not, would I do that?'

'Definitely.'

'You know me too well.'

'That I do.' Jeff sat down and he looked at me curiously.

'You look like a hug, the ones off that advert for soup.'

'Really? I'm not always that cuddly.'

'I know, sometimes you bite, beware the scary northern woman behind the fluffy exterior.'

'I'll give you scary in a minute Jeffrey.'

'No thanks, I've seen your temper in action and I don't fancy another dose of it.'

'I'd remember that if I were you.' I laughed, time to try and find out what Jeff has been up to. 'Did you book anything for later?'

'I did, we've got to be at the restaurant for seven.'

'Okay, seven it is.'

'Are you nervous Dixie?'

'No, I'm not, it's just us going out like we've done before.'

'You're right. How about I make breakfast?'

'Now there's a good idea.' Jeff went into the kitchen and I settled back against the sofa, it was nice having someone cook for me.

I smelled the food cooking and it made my stomach start to rumble, the Saturday fry up has been part of our routine for as long as we've been married. We've shared this space for a long time, I've got used to having a man around, my best friend, I wouldn't have it any other way. Jeff was always the one that makes the breakfast, it had become a ritual of ours, after a busy week of work we would unwind with a big breakfast and a weekend of relaxing. 'Dixie, breakfast is ready.' Jeff had already put the paper on the table, the food was next, it smelled amazing. I picked up the tomato sauce and put some on my bacon. Jeff looked disgusted. 'How can you eat that with red sauce, brown sauce is the only way to go.'

'Nope, you just haven't experienced the delights of tomato sauce.'

'I don't want to.'

'You don't know what you're missing Jeff.'

'And I'd like it to stay that way.' I chuckled, it was his loss, he really is missing out.

After we'd read the paper, the usual depressing stories of people robbing each other and other such lovely articles, we sat ourselves down on the sofa. Ever since the revelation of our feelings Jeff has been sitting with me, it is different, but a good sort of different. 'Dixie, do you think we should start getting ready?'

'Yeah, I have no idea what I'm going to wear.'

'I don't either, I need a shower, Little Abs still likes the puddles and running about.'

'Yep, you smell Jeff.'

'I do not, I resent that accusation.'

'I'm just kidding with you.'

'I should hope so too.' I gently patted Jeff's leg, I felt that it was right to do so. 'I'll be ready soon, don't take too long with that make up Dixie.'

'You're a bad man Jeffrey Collier, I'll get you for that one day.'

'I have no doubt that you will.' I laughed, oh yes, I would get him back for that comment, when he is least expecting it. I would head up to my room and get ready soon, I was looking forward to going out tonight.