Chapter 10 – Under the Blossoms

Over the next few days, Ling Cai saw less and less of Sun Shang Xiang and Gan Ning and was becoming increasingly frustrated at not being able to ask what was going on, and when they were deciding on going to Hanzhong to aid Liu Bei. She was also becoming restless since she had not been able to train for the past few days and it was resulting in a burst of pent up energy that she couldn't possibly exercise. She was often seen underneath the blossom trees in the gardens at Jian Ye, meditating more then anything. Her daggers glinted underneath the blazing Sun, as she closed her eyes against the gentle but warm breeze trying to calm herself, to clear her mind against the confusing thoughts that kept zooming through her already overloaded head.

Taking a deep breath inwards, she exhaled and opened her eyes slowly. She did feel slightly more relaxed, but it didn't really help with the extremely painful headache that was throbbing at her left temple. Trying to busy herself with something else before all her worries came flooding back, she picked up her blades and began to study them. They were both still equally razor-sharp since she had only used them once in a real battle. The handles were made of fine black leather and she could see that where she had been holding them, grooves were beginning to appear on the material. She kept her gaze plastered on her weapons for a few more seconds before coming to the conclusion that they were definitely not interesting enough to stop the questions flooding back.

Looking up, she watched the streams of pink petals glide tenderly to the ground. The thin flowers were pulled softly off course by the soothing light wind, and she watched their progression from the moment they left the towering trees to the second they touched the grass which was now scattered with the flowers.

"Ling Cai?"

Not registering the voice immediately, Cai sat still staring transfixed at the swirling mass of petals, before the voice drifted towards her like the wind. Turning her head, she saw the form of the Pirate who she had barely seen over the last few days, staring down at her. Ling Cai went to stand up but Gan Ning shook his head, and took a seat beside her instead. She relaxed again and began to observe him instead.

His eyes looked weary and exhausted as though he had not slept in days, and underneath them were heavy black bags. His face had a tautened and almost gaunt-like appearance and he seemed paler then usual. Her expression changed from the confusion and worry that had slowly been eating away at her, to concern. It looked as though the Pirate had not slept for days…And probably not eaten much either.

"Gan Ning, what's wrong? What's been happening? You look so unwell." She said, turning the rest of her body towards him so he was the primary subject. Gan Ning looked up at her through the dark tired eyes and shook his somewhat limp blonde hair, as though shaking off the questions.

"We will be leaving for Hanzhong in the morning," He said quietly, watching Ling Cai look slightly hurt that he had brushed her questions aside and instead believed that Hanzhong was more important then his health. "It should only take a few days to get there, so make sure your fully equipped." He added sternly, trying not to seep any emotion into his voice.

"Stop it!" Ling Cai cried out suddenly, breaking the calm atmosphere and replacing it with a state of tension. Gan Ning didn't seem too perturbed by her sudden outburst; he simply continued to stare at her. "Hanzhong can wait! Liu Bei can wait! Look at yourself, your unwell. You look as though you haven't slept or eaten since you got back from Hefei!" Cai's concerned expression was now mingled with anger and frustration. Still focused only on her, Ling Cai could see that he looked strangely uncomfortable.

"I'm fine, Ling Cai." He said hesitantly, still staring directly into her anxious eyes. Ling Cai stared at him, mouth hanging open with disbelief as he quite literally lied. She shook her head and bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from yelling at him. She had no right to do that, in fact, she had no right to question him at all. She was the one who was serving underneath him, not the other way around.

But then again, she cared too much for him to let this slide past her. There was something definitely wrong with him and she intended to find out what. "Don't lie to me," She said fairly quietly, glancing around just in case any soldiers or commoners decided to take a walk around the gardens (although during the times she usually sat out here, she rarely saw anyone).

"What does it matter, Cai." He said solemnly, finally breaking the eye contact and instead staring at the twirling petals. Feeling slightly stung by this comment it took a few seconds for her to come up with a reply. "Because…Well believe it or not, I care for you!" She said with outrage, glaring at him still in disbelief.

Gan Ning inhaled a deep, shaky breath and glanced back at her, the little colour he did have in his cheeks was now completely gone. "Make sure you are ready for the journey tomorrow." He said with finality before standing up quickly and walking away, without a backwards glance.

Ling Cai clenched her hands into the grass and pulled, ripping tufts of it up out of the soil. The rage surging through her now was unbelievable, and yet she couldn't help but feel hurt by him. She stared around for a second, realising that tears were beginning to form behind her cerulean eyes. Rubbing them painfully hard, she leapt to her feet and ran after the retreating Pirate's back.

She managed to catch up with him and she grasped his wrist underneath her fingers and tugged at him. He turned but slowly, almost as though he was incredibly bored of her being there. She could still feel the tears pricking the back of her eyes but she tried to keep a straight face, and found that it was certainly easier said then done.

"Why is it so hard to tell me what's happening?" She muttered, glaring at him with ferocity that seemed to surprise him slightly. Silence pressed over them as Gan Ning took awhile to produce an answer, she could even see his mind working behind the remarkably empty eyes.

"There's no way I can stop you is there," He said, bringing back a little of his personality back and giving her a weak grin. Weak, but it was still there. Ling Cai smiled hesitantly back at him as she shook her head. "Didn't know why you expected me to let it drop in the first place."

"Look, Cai…" He began trying to find the perfect words. "Since Hefei…I've not been at my best."

Ling Cai surveyed him with a raised eyebrow, feeling her stomach slip like she had just missed a step going down some stairs. She was hoping this wasn't leading to what she believed it was.

"I was asked by Master Sun Quan to try and sort out my soldiers to a position that would be best suited at Hanzhong just before we left to go there, that would limit the number of deaths from the Wu side. The only thing I have been able to work on is a very light sketch of the area…And so I've been trying to devise a plan that would work out."

Breathing a quick sigh of relief she wondered faintly why he had not said this in the first place…But then she could see, once again, that there was a trace of a lie, or at least something that he wasn't telling her.

"Well there is no shame in that," Ling Cai said, keeping her eyes fixed on his. "Devising a plan in only a few days, I do believe strategies take time to perfect. I also believe that that is not the only thing bothering you."

Gan Ning gave her a hearty laugh that did not seem to fit his mood, and he shook his head slightly. "Not much get's past you does it…" He trailed off and looked past her to the beautiful blossom trees. "You were correct though Cai, I am ill."

"Ill…How ill are we speaking?" She asked in a hushed tone, suddenly feeling physically sick.

"The Doctors don't know. They can't see any visible wounds or injuries so they're guessing that I've had some sort of bad reaction to the alangium chinense they used to treat some of those scratches from Hefei. They've given me this concoction of huo xiang and some other remedial herbs. It's not the nicest of things, which is probably why my appetite's been a bit off too."

Ling Cai continued to look up into his distant eyes and noticed that she would be unable to get any more information out of him. His argument did sound convincing since he could correctly identify a few of the herbs and so she let it slide. She just hoped that he would be well enough by tomorrow as she knew he was not going to stop heading into a fight just because he hadn't eaten.

"Let's just hope those herbs work then," She said quietly, managing a very weak smile. She didn't know whether she felt better now that he had told her, or worse because know she knew that he was indeed ill, or a little sick. Maybe it wouldn't be long term, but it didn't stop her from fearing the worst.

"Don't worry about me Cai, I'm stronger then you take me for." He said, a grin spreading across his face again. "I'll be fine. I promise you I'll be ok. Just make sure you've got yourself ready for tomorrow."

Ling Cai nodded slowly and she continued to watch him as he turned his back on her and walked out of the gardens, whilst a single cold tear slipped from behind her saddened eyes, and fell amongst the blossoms.

I'm still editing a few of these chapters from the story, the first three have been updated from the 26th March 2008, so those who have favourited the story please re-read.
As usual, your comments are appreciated and always taken into account.