Song: Self-Inflicted
Characters: Hermione and Ron

I can't stop
Don't care if I lose
Baby you are the weapon I choose
These wounds are self inflicted
I'm going down in flames for you
Baby you are the weapon I choose
These wounds are self inflicted
One more thing I'm addicted to
~Katy Perry

Ron didn't care about Hermione all the time, but making him care was quickly becoming her addiction.

Right from the start Hermione had noticed it. He and Harry had saved her from the troll in first year, after which he'd been overly concerned about her for a couple days. The same had happened after she'd been revived from the Basilisk attack in second year. Third year had solidified her theory when she and Harry helped Sirius Black escape. Ron hadn't really known what was up, but he'd been confused by whatever it was. After learning she'd nearly been attacked by a werewolf without him, he'd clung to her side until school got out.

Fourth year was off to a bumpy start with Harry and Rons' ridiculous fight. She'd told them both off for making her choose, and Ron had responded by being overly nice. That coupled with Viktor Krum's attention had made Hermione feel wanted. When Draco Malfoy had embarrassed her by enlarging her teeth in the hallway duel, Ron had again reacted strongly. Then the Yule Ball had brought out his bitter and jealous side. If Hermione was going to choose another man then he was going to take pleasure in making her suffer.

Their brushes with danger and death in fifth and sixth year had been similar. They brought Hermione to one conclusion. Ron cared most when he was at risk of losing her.

After they'd gone into hiding, she'd had "accidents" while cooking. Harry had hardly seemed to notice them since she could heal her own cuts and burns, but Ron acted as though the sky were on its way down. She'd loved it and the locket had brought her self-inflicted wounds and neediness for Ron to full bloom.

When Ron left, she'd screamed after him. Hermione had pleaded for his understanding and begged him to stay. "I need you!" she'd sobbed as he walked away.

Harry tried to be understanding, but his comforting words just weren't enough. Hermione had taken to pricking her fingers with a needle at night just so she could imagine Ron kissing them "better." She knew it was twisted, but she couldn't help it. It was her private addiction, her only link to Ron.

While twirling her wand one day, she'd stupidly blasted a minor laceration spell at her own leg. She had the magic to hide it from Harry so she did... over and over.

Then Ron returned. Along with Hermione's relief came anger. Her destructive ways were entirely his fault. She'd only done it for him and in memory of him. She'd used her fists and surprisingly obscene language to try and tell him -without telling him - exactly what she'd gone through with him gone. It wasn't fair.

Being tortured by Bellatrix hurt more than the most intense pain she could imagine, but part of her noticed how Ron reacted. He'd turned into an animal as he screamed for her safety. She dwelled on it long after, and her twisted mind loved it.

The Battle of Hogwarts had left her with hardly a scratch. She couldn't reunite with Ron like that! They'd kissed in the middle of it after all.

When he found her, she was (half-heartedly) healing a huge gash on her arm. He'd scooped her up into his arms and promised she'd be okay.

Hermione couldn't help but wonder how long she'd be hurting herself for him. She loved Ron, but she needed to quit her addiction.

And I cover up these scars
We'll make it, we'll make it but we break it
And I can't stop seeing stars
lets hope not die
Whenever you're around
Around
~Katy Petty