Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

X. The ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate acceptance

"We don't love anymore when the sacrifices cost; we love little when we notice that we make it."

- Duc de Lévis

Surrounded by a multitude of books, a dozen parchments spread out in front of him; Severus ran a weary hand over his face. It had been several hours since he had dismissed Hermione when she had came knocking on the laboratory door, anxious to know if he needed her to work with him. His voice had been a whisper when he asked her what she was doing there, and she dared not meet his eyes. He had to admit that he had answered her very curtly, and then the young woman had vanished, quickly climbing the stairs leading to her room.

Since then, Severus had locked himself in his office, working tirelessly to forget what had happened in the lounge.

He had been on the verge of making her his own, closed to fully owning her, but he had resisted, in his great surprise. Severus Snape was not the type to abdicate so easily under normal circumstances, far from it. Women who had had the opportunity to be in his arms were generally the ones who abdicated, those who were craving for his caresses. Severus knew that his physical appearance didn't play in his favor. It was probably for this reason that he always focused on the pleasure he was able to provide to the women who shared his bed, so they keep a pleasant memory of their lovemaking. For twenty years, this technique had worked perfectly, and Severus was almost satisfied with his sex life.

This was obviously not the case of his love life, but was it important? For years, Albus Dumbledore had tried to make him understand that it was time to turn the page, time to start a new life in some way, but he didn't listen. In his heart, Severus knew that it was impossible. He always told Dumbledore that his work as a double agent in the service of the Order was an obstacle to any love affair, even though in his heart he knew that it was for another reason that he had drawn a cross on love.

Lily Potter.

For years, Severus had mourned the one he had dearly loved for many years, the one who had left with another one. The one who had started a family, carrying in her womb the fruit of her love for James Potter, the vermin that had stolen everything from him.

For years, Severus closed on himself, almost losing the ounce of humanity that still existed in him.

But a year ago, life appeared to him in a new light. Was it the fact of being so close to death that opened his eyes, he was not sure. To see again the face of the one who had gone away from him by aversion by black magic had made him aware of the mistakes he had made in the past. To know that he had the possibility, however small, to get her back into his life and set things right between them was the best thing that happened in this life since a long time.

Severus turned with an impatient hand the page of the book that was near him, and quickly wrote a few words on the parchment. Satisfied, he reread it carefully.

Ingredients:

- Five drops of Horklump juice (Known for its healing ability. Horklump juice must be extracted two nights before the full moon and kept cool)

- A drop of Acromantula venom (despite its name, can restore nerve connections. The venom must be pure and undiluted for maximum efficiency)

- Two moonstones: a powdered one, directly into the preparation of the potion, and a whole one to serve for the ritual)

- Bark of sorb (needed to bring to life)

- Flobberworm mucus (binder for the potion)

- Three Jobberknolls feathers (to regenerate memory)

- Blood

Severus paused in his reading, slightly confused. The ingredients were not the easiest to find, and he knew that several months would be required to have them all. Acromantula venom was terribly expensive, and there was currently no seller of ingredients who had it in storage for over a year. He needed to go extract the venom himself, and the task was not easy. Horklump juice was easier to extract, as the Horklump was an invasive plant that was found in quantity in all gardens. But the conservation of this juice was not simple, and it expired quickly if the temperature was not constant to the nearest degree. In addition, there was the drawback of extracting the juice two nights before full moon. Again, he couldn't rely on a seller and should extract himself this highly toxic juice.

As for the last ingredient... Blood. He wrote this last ingredient with a trembling hand. Severus swallowed hard and took up his pen. He kept it in his hand for long seconds before making contact with the yellowed parchment.

" - Blood (it is essential that the blood comes from a person of the same sex as the person who is the subject of this ritual. The oath: the donor needs to say that he will do everything possible to bring back to life the deceased one. Two extractions of blood are needed: the first one will take place at the beginning of the making of the potion, and the flask must be cooled during the time required for gathering the ingredients. The second extraction will take place the evening of the ritual, necessarily at full moon, and will be unlimited: the extraction may be terminated only when the complete resurrection of the deceased is fulfilled)"

Severus gently rested his pen and reread the last paragraph he had written. He was not sure about the success of this ritual, far from it. But this was what he found most interesting and convincing throughout his research and his tests a few months earlier on mice. Unfortunately, his tests were unsuccessful, and he had just obtained a last breath from the mouse that had died a few hours earlier. This, however, didn't stop him in believing in the success of the ritual, and he would have to convince Hermione Granger to help him.

However, he knew the risks for her. She had a good chance of losing her life, and that was why he was still looking for another effective way to not reach such extremes. He began to feel things for the young woman. It certainly wasn't love, no. It was more like a physical attraction, a desire to be near her, to take her in his arms and be the first to make her feel the most enjoyable things. But deep down, a little voice kept asking him every day if he could sacrifice the life of the one he wanted to be with the woman he loved. And to his surprise, Severus always answered the silent question with...

Yes.

XxxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxX

Hermione was locked in her bedroom since late morning, or rather, she thought, in the room that Severus Snape had made available for her the time of their collaboration.

"Collaboration... You don't say," she muttered, angrily turning the page of the book that she was trying to read for more than an hour.

Certainly, the young woman would have been disturbed to find herself in the company of the man who had kissed her with such fervor that morning, but she was mad at him for rejecting her so dryly a few hours earlier. It wasn't her who had thrown herself on him if her memories were good, so why had he pushed her away after saying that he would wait for her to be ready to go further?

You didn't perhaps throw yourself on him first, but you rubbed yourself against him... a small voice whispered in her mind. Hermione blushed at the memory of this moment. Severus triggered things in her desires she didn't know about, and yet... She had experiences with Ron, but they never managed to do it entirely. It was not for lack of trying though. Ron wanted to know the pleasures of the flesh and he never missed an opportunity to let her know. But Hermione was not ready at the time, and Ron had finally gone for three years with Harry to follow his training to become an Auror. It had put an end to their relationship, and neither one nor the other was too shaken by the break. Hermione knew from Harry that Ron had a lot of conquests when they had days off, and she didn't care about it. Instead, she was happy not to have been forced to do something she would regret with him.

Severus was the opposite of Ron. He was smart, and it was something very important in the eyes of the young woman. This intelligence that emanated from him made him look more imposing than Ron had never had, and Hermione felt confident when she was near him. Admittedly, the first few days were difficult, and she had felt more fear than she would have thought, but the last few days - since these dreams she made - this fear turned into desire.

Hermione cast a glance at the clock that was hanging on the wall, and she saw that it was almost 10 pm. She had not eaten all day, and she was famished. She was already in pajamas, but she didn't expect to meet Severus at this late hour. Hermione quickly pushed the book that was lying on her stomach and left her bed in the direction of the kitchen.

XxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxX

"Good evening, Miss Hermione."

Hermione stopped when she heard a slightly quavering voice talking to her. When she wondered who it was, a small house elf approached her, a slight smile on her little face.

"Artie," Hermione replied, returning her smile. "I didn't see you, sorry."

"Do you want dinner, Miss? Artie can prepare a meal and bring it to you in a few minutes."

Hermione shook her head and walked to the fridge.

"Don't worry, Artie. I'll do it myself."

"No, no, Miss Hermione! Let Artie do it, Artie must cook for the inhabitants of the Snape house!"

The elf seemed horrified by the words of the young woman, and Hermione stopped a few feet from the fridge, not knowing what to do. Suddenly she heard footsteps, and a black silhouette appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Their eyes met, and Hermione suddenly remembered that she was wearing a tight black tank top and a small red silk shorts. She instinctively crossed her arms over her chest, before the deep voice of her Master rise in the room.

"Prepare dinner for two, Artie."

And without a word, he left the kitchen, going in the dining room. Hermione didn't move right away, but had to do so when the elf rushed to the fridge to prepare dinner. Had he said "dinner for two", she thought as she left the kitchen. She came face to face with Severus who had taken place at the table, where he showed a bottle of wine and two glasses. Reluctant, Hermione ended up taking place at the other end of the table. Severus didn't seem to pay attention to her presence, and he filled the two glasses of wine. Hermione let out a slight laugh.

"Do you plan to drug me tonight, Severus?"

The latter looked up quickly.

"I beg your pardon?" he murmured.

"Did you shed a few drops of the dream simulator in the wine this time?" She asked.

A small grin formed on his lips while he drank a sip of wine.

"I think that I don't have to use this subterfuge anymore. You can dream of me without it, Hermione."

Hermione hid her embarrassment by taking a sip of wine, and didn't say a word before the dishes arrived. Artie disposed a large plate in front of her, while the woman whispered a "thank you" and she disappeared after doing the same in front of Severus. They began to eat in silence, before Severus spoke again.

"There are some things I need to talk to you about, Hermione. I don't know if this is the right time to do it, but I'll have to do it one time or another, so..."

Hermione gently placed her fork on her plate and watched carefully.

"I'm listening."

Severus took a large sip of wine.

"You see, I told you this morning how I came back to life, in a very mysterious way."

"Thanks to Lily Potter," Hermione interrupted.

"Yes, thanks to her. But I didn't tell you everything. Lily Potter had certainly saved me that night, but she did something more. She also instilled in my mind an idea, a crazy idea that haunts me for over a year now."

He paused, and Hermione felt a shiver up her spine. For some reason she didn't know, she had a bad feeling. And yet she wanted to know more about it.

"What is this idea?" she whispered, so low that she was not sure he had heard.

"I want Lily Potter back among us, Hermione."

The young woman, who just drank a sip of wine, almost choked, and Severus quickly rose to be at her side. She coughed for long seconds, and noted the presence of Severus at her side. He took her hand in his and passed a delicate hand on her back.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione nodded before turning her attention to the man who was kneeling besides her, looking worried.

"What do you mean? It is impossible, Severus, we can't bring back the dead and…It's against nature..."

She saw his jaw tighten, and he rose rapidly, looking her up and down.

"I don't expect you to judge me. I just want to know if you want to be part of this adventure. I do not promise that things will work as I expect, but... I need you to try, to help me. Trust me, please..."

He whispered these words, and Hermione stood up slowly to face him. She took a long moment to probe his eyes, trying to understand without asking any questions. What he had just said was nonsense. She knew that it was impossible, that we could not bring back the dead like that, and yet... Yet, in her heart, she wanted to say yes, she wanted to please him and see where it was going to take them. Then she nodded.

Severus narrowed his eyes, trying to understand the meaning of this gesture.

"You mean..." he began, a hint of hope in his voice.

"Yes, I want to help you, Severus."

Hermione had expected all sorts of reactions from Severus. She initially thought he would have had his eternal grin on his lips, then she thought that he might have been enthusiast enough for rewarding her with a smile. But she would never have thought that he would have taken her face in his hands and kissed her ardently.

Ever.