A/N: The reason as to why Antonio kissed Lovino so suddenly will be revealed in this chapter. You've waited long enough to find it out, LOL. n.n

Disclaimer: *Un-amused face* Do you really think I own Hetalia?

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January 10th, Entry 11

Current Location: My bedroom, 7:48 AM

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Antonio,

Ah, finally, the weekend is here. It's been an exhausting week for me, having to work extra hard at the cafe, recovering from a cold, putting up with that Spanish bastard, watching Feliciano and the potato bastard sneak away during classes and speak to each other, and making myself look like a total fucking retard in front of Brigida several times. How I managed to survive in one piece, I don't know.

I just know that...I'm going to try and make sure that I can relax and laze around this weekend. Don't I deserve it? Of course. No one in this lifetime could understand how stressed out and tense I feel. I'm not even sure if I can still attend school anymore; is there any point in continuing when my reputation is just getting more and more shot and killed the more I have Antonio in my life.

Let me explain everything from the very beginning. I have the time, since the sunlight streaming into my face from where Feliciano had opened the fucking curtains brought me out of my good sleep. By the way, I must make a mental note to later cuss his ass out for trying to get me out of bed so early on a Saturday. I just wanted to sleep late and restore my energy after all, nothing else... no such luck.

Okay, so let me start this entry by mentioning that I am still so pissed off at that bastard for taking advantage of the situation and spreading that goddamn rumor about the two of us dating! It burns me up to think about it, and I've already stomped around the apartment and thrown things to try and release my anger, all I got was a complaint from the annoying landlord, whom I hope gets run over by a car or something on his morning jog, because he just annoys the shit of me. But, that's beside the point. No matter how hard I try, I just can't figure out why the bastard would spread a rumor like this.

Was he planning to ruin my life all this time? Or was he just trying to be funny and it backfired? Either way, I'll never be able to forgive the bastard for what he did! Should I even return back to school...? Because it's sort of a small place, and rumors and gossip usually last a long time and tend to follow you everywhere. I would know: I've spread false rumors around about people I despise, and it's still brought up in conversations. Now that it's all on me, I can't believe I'm actually put in the shoes of all the other victims of rumors and gossip, this fact makes me want to just shoot myself in the head!

It's not just the fact that Antonio decided to go around and spread rumors, no, he also had the nerve to trap me against the school lockers in plain sight where anyone could have fucking seen us, and he practically begged me to kiss him. As you know, I refused to. But I didn't expect him to ignore the harsh refusal and press his lips to mine the exact same minute the class nearby was let out and everyone piled out of the room to see us!

What confuses me the most is...is the kiss was actually enjoyable to a degree. I know that afterward, it was really hard to cool myself off and try and forget what had happened. It was so out of the fucking blue that I still can't stop randomly thinking about it, and when I do I just want to throw myself off the top of the building hoping to kill myself! I wasn't supposed to enjoy this at all, was I? I don't even think anything other than pure dislike over the bastard, right? OF COURSE.

I will not let this continue to get under my skin! Right here and now, it will all be settled because I am going to think things through and come up with a likely theory about why the hell I enjoyed that random kiss! Now, let me think...hmm...it could have been just the shock of actually touching lips with someone. I honestly never thought it would happen, so that could be it. I know that when I see Antonio on Monday, I am so going to put him in his place! I didn't get to last night back at the cafe, unfortunately...

Wait, do you even know about what happened last night during my part-time shift at the cafe? Hmmph, I have enough time, so I guess I'll just go into detail. But be prepared for some ranting.

It all began the moment I entered the small cafe on the shady streets of this town. I'm lucky I had been able to convince my douchebag of a manager to allow me to work part-time for a little cash to live on, just saying. I had assumed that this was going to be another boring and exhausting night. And I would be taking out my aggravation from the previous experience at school out on everyone in sight. The second I stepped in and that annoying bell made it's alerting ding. That's when I heard...

"Hola~ welcome dear custom...Lovi? Is that you?" I would have been totally okay with the world ending right there. I had looked up to be greeted by the sight of the bastard, whom is the source of the chaos and stress in my life, standing at the counter wearing an apron.

"Fuck..." I scowled and ignored his gaze on me as I made my way up to the counter. I did not need to talk to him at this time, not when I was still so pissed off at the little scene he created back at school.

Well, I tried to ignore him. But Antonio just smiled as if nothing was wrong and he was speaking to his best friend. He propped his elbows on the counter and I just had to turn and glare at him. "So, Lovi, what are you doing here...?"
"I work here." My words were harsh and dripping with venom, but he apparently didn't give a damn about that. "Now why are YOU here?"

"I needed some money, and one of the employees here decided to quit today. The manager was desperate for some more help, so, here I am~" Antonio explained, but I could tell that there was something in his tone. Something that told me that this story wasn't entirely accurate.

And I was quick to realize this and I spat, "You only decided to work here because you read in the damn diary that I work here!"

"Well, when you put it that way..." Before Antonio could finish, I noticed Tino walk out from the storage room and his gaze quickly fell on the both of us. With a somewhat-forced smile, he came over.

"I see that you two are talking-"

"Hey, why does he have to work here of all the people in this fucking town?" I had interrupted Tino, now turning to glare daggers at him and pointing an accusing finger at Antonio.

"Well, one of the other employees quit earlier this morning. And uh, Antonio came by late in thee afternoon and was able to convince the manager to hire him." Tino explained shakily underneath my deepening scowl that was not about to wear away anytime soon. "Do you two know each other?"

"We're friends at school." Antonio answered before I could. I had turned and felt like punching him for saying that, because that was such a fucking lie. Maybe not in his mind, but it is in mine!

I was far too pissed off to even begin to try and clear things up. Since speech was impossible and I was near seeing red, I just angrily pushed past Tino, grabbed an apron, and went into the storage room where maybe I could have gotten a little time to myself to calm down.

Key word: maybe. I had gone into the storage room and sat down in the corner on the floor. All was silent, and I was trying so hard not to just release my anger at this situation through beating one of the nearby boxes that littered the flooring. I actually counted how many seconds it took before some jackass entered the room and interrupted me. It was no more than six seconds before Antonio slipped inside and slowly closed the door behind him. I didn't want to speak with him, so I just wrapped my arms around my knees and looked away.

From the corners of my eyes, I could see him cock his head to the side in confusion as he gazed at me. Seeing as though I wasn't cussing him out more being violent, he must have been puzzled. So he came closer to me and kicked aside a nearby empty box beside me before mimicking my position and sitting at my side.

I think he was trying to make me perk up a little. He kept glancing at me and smiling, but I didn't return it the slightest bit. There was no reason to smile, I never have a reason to when my life is so chaotic and stressful. Still, despite my determination to remain pissed at him, the moment was not as awkward or tense as you would expect.

"Tino was wondering why you fled the area." The bastard said after a few seconds of silence, he said these words with a hint of concern in his voice. But is that something to dwell on? No.

"Let him wonder." I muttered. "If you came in here just to discover the reason why I left, it's because you're such a bastard."

"What do you mean...?"

My eye twitched and I finally just brought my hands back to either side of me and turned to scowl at him, snapping, "Like you don't know! I've only known you for one day and you've caused so much chaos in my life! You spread rumors about the both of us pining for the other and you even kissed me right in front of everyone at school! Now you better fucking explain why you did these things, before I maim you!"

You could tell that his mind was processing everything that I had just shouted in my rage. Finally, Antonio must have cone to a conclusion and he smirked from it. This just made me uneasy. "Is that why you have been avoiding me?"

"Cut to the chase!"

"Lovi, I didn't mean to embarrass you like that. And I wasn't trying to be evil. The reason I spread this rumor was because," He glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck as a light blush sneaked onto his cheeks. "Because I wanted to see you get offended."

I could not believe what I had just heard him confess. And it still burns me up to think about it. I mean, SERIOUSLY? He went through the trouble to spread an exaggerated rumor like that all over the school just to see me get offended and riled up about this? If looks could kill, the bastard would have been shot dead so many times!

Before I could open my mouth and cuss him out once again, he turned back and chuckled. "There's that scowl again."

"Why the hell would you spread a rumor like that just to see me get pissed off?" I growled, reaching forward and grabbing a hand full of his shirt. Without even thinking at the time, I had jerked him closer to me and our faces were mere inches apart. The closeness didn't – and still doesn't – matter to me, FYI.

"Well...the answer is simple. From what I've seen and read in that diary of yours: you're pretty feisty. Getting angered by the littlest things. I just wanted to see how you could handle the situation...but, ah, I guess I took it a little too far." He heaved a genuinely ashamed sigh. At least, he wanted it to look genuine. At the moment, I was far too pissed off from his actions to even think about this totally different topic! "Like I said earlier, lo siento por lo que he hecho."

To be honest, I have no idea what the fuck he had said in the last part of that sentence. His tone was apologetic, so I guess he must have been apologizing in Spanish or something. Hmmph, the way he said those words in his native tongue, it actually sounded sort of-

What the hell am I saying? Ugh, just forget that and let's move on with the rest of the narration, because my face is feeling like it's going so damn red at the thought of this! In hindsight, maybe I should have bothered to ask him what those words he was saying meant. But I stopped myself because I didn't care.

I was silent for a few moments and my grip on his shirt was beginning to weaken. Despite having the whole topic of the rumors cleared up, this still did not explain why he dared to press his luck and kiss me in front of nearly everyone. So I took the opportunity and voiced this thought constantly messing with me in my head. What was the response I received?

A fleeting smirk. "Ah, yes, the kiss..."

"It's not like I care or anything..." I defended lamely, my tone lowering nervously as my cheeks warmed up and I tried to look everywhere except his face. "I haven't ever had one before and was just caught off guard. Hey, stop laughing, dammit! I didn't enjoy it AT ALL and I had to rinse my mouth out afterward before I puked from the after-taste!"

He obviously didn't believe me. He just laughed at my failure to defend myself. I won't lie, I had considered kicking him in the balls at that moment, just to regain a little of my dignity back. It's too bad that I didn't get to. Damn. "The kiss...well...let's just say that it didn't have anything to do with my plan at first. Ever since I first noticed you when I entered the classroom, I couldn't help but notice how cute you were and I just...I just couldn't stop myself from wondering if you would be interested in someone like me. And besides, you know what they say about Italians." He didn't ever go into detail about what "they say about Italians", but I'm still wondering what he met by that. Was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?

"So..." I scoffed and released my hold on him, leaning back against the wall and taking in all that I had just been told. "What you are saying is, you actually...?"

"Yes." Antonio's eyes were sparkling now as he inched closer to me, eying me as if I was a very pleasing sight to behold. God, that sounds to wrong in many ways. I was getting uncomfortable by the turn this whole thing was taking and I just inched away.
"What the fuck are you doing now?" I asked him, I tried to inch away and he didn't seem to care about how uncomfortable the moment was now. And ignoring my threats, he came as close as he possibly could without violating my personal space.

"I don't want you to be mad at me for spreading those rumors or kissing you suddenly."

"Sorry, you jackass! It's a little too late for that!" I spat, glaring right into those sparkling emerald eyes fixed solely on me. He went back to cornering me up and had the nerve to slip a hand up to my scorching cheek, smiling fondly as he brushed across it and his fingers were getting dangerously close to the curl on my head. "D-dammit, why are you still TRYING to get the response you want from me?" I knew that my tone was not sounding as intimidating as I wanted it to be. I knew that he could sense I was a nervous wreck now that he was coming closer and brushing across my face, fingers barely inches away from the odd curl in my hair.

At that point, I was pretty much lying on the floor and he sat over me on his knees and was curiously gazing at the twitching curl on my head. I felt like the topic was just about to get switched way too fast for my liking. Which was exactly what happened. And I still can't stop thinking about how fucking nervous he had made me last night. My brain was already attempting to process why he was so-called "interested" in me (yeah, like that can't be interpreted in several ways).

"Ah, Lovi? Why do you have one random curl here?" A felt my face burning as soon as he answered that question. I knew very well what that little bitch did, after pulling at it just out of curiosity for the first time two years ago. And afterward, I swore that I wouldn't let the events of what happened that night happen again...hmmph, even if it did feel pretty fucking good by the end. But this is not the point! "I know this may be a little sudden, but I just remembered that I was going to ask you about that. If that's okay with you."

I promptly started squirming to get out from underneath him and yes, I had gotten all tongue-tied trying to think of a way to get the bastard to leave me alone and not touch that thing. "It's-it's nothing! Get the hell off of me and go back to the counter with the Finnish bastard and take orders!"

"No, no, there must be something that it does." Antonio's fingers slowly got closer and closer to the curl. I stared in shock and my entire face was probably crimson once he got a soft grip on it and almost tugged.

Then, miraculously, Tino opened the door and stepped in. "Lovino, Antonio, I was looking for..." His curious expression instantly shattered into a mildly embarrassed one as he took in the sight of us; me lying on the floor blushing furiously and Antonio over me pinning me down and softly holding on to my hair curl, frozen as he turned to stare as if he was caught red-handed. "Um...well, this is awkward..." Yeah captain obvious, of course it was awkward as hell! Why did he even have to say that?

Of course, I doubt that Tino was surprised to see what he was witnessing. He's sixteen and and lives with another guy whom I'm assuming is his boyfriend in a big empty house because his parents had died years ago and left him alone. You wouldn't think that this guy would misinterpret what was going on at the time, due to his innocent appearance and mannerisms. Everyone has a perverted side, I guess. Oh, but I'm the exception to that rule, got it?

"I can explain..." Antonio mentioned, laughing nervously and slowly getting up off the floor. I just gave him this pissed look before getting up myself and cussing him out in my personal thoughts.

Tino forced a nervous laugh and just backed out of the room, I think that maybe he was embarrassed enough for the both of us –well mostly me, 'cause it seemed like Antonio had no shame whatsoever, the horny bastard. "That's...that's okay, I should be getting back to the counter and taking orders anyway. Later at closing, you can explain everything to me."

"It wasn't like that at all!" I snapped, quickly taking a step forward. I had been forced to restrain my anger at the moment, but I would have so liked to pound the nervous expression off his face. As he apparently assumed me and Antonio were actually...urgh...I can't even complete that thought in my head without grimacing and my heart doing some weird shit in my chest –most likely out of anger.

The rest of my shift wasn't anything to remark about. Well, actually, I could go into detail. But my damn hand is beginning to throb painfully from all this writing so early in the morning, so I will just be vague and get it over with now.

I had one hell of an awkward shift last night at the cafe. Since the encounter with Antonio in the storage room, confronting him about the rumors he spread, and then him revealing tiny attention span and suddenly wondering what would happen if he yanked the curl on my head, I couldn't stop from feeling weird around him. This feeling was odd. My douche bag of a manager insisted to me that I would have to work alongside Antonio at the counter because of the crowds coming in at the hour. I could feel my face burn all the way up to the tips of my ears when we would make eye contact, and then even he would either intentionally or unintentionally brush against me in some way I would either tense up or get a tad shaky briefly before coming to my senses.

What the hell is happening to me? I know that I hate the bastard and want him to go die somewhere, there is no doubt. Yet I feel this sickening warm feeling when I feel him brush against me in some way or when I let my mind flashback to when he had kissed me yesterday. And strangely, this aforementioned "warm feeling" is almost the same I feel when around Brigida.

Fuck, I just need to stop thinking about this! It's like no matter what I do, I can't escape the fact that most of my problems in life are now revolving around Brigida and Antonio! Do you know what irritates me the most? I haven't even known the latter for at least a week yet! There's no one else except you and my stupid Fratello that would listen to my problems. And there is no way that I'll break down and pour it all out to him. So...here I am pouring it out to you. I know this sounds so freaking retarded, but this is the question that I would ask you if you were a real person that was actually capable of speech:

What am I supposed to do about these sickening feelings that keep coming to me when Antonio and Brigida enter the picture? Before you make any unnecessary implications, let me just clear up the fact that I'm positive these aren't romantic feelings. Because like I've said before; Lovino Vargas doesn't need to fall in love. And guess what? He never will as long as he can remain strong and block out all these weird feelings.

The entry ends here for today. I won't write any tonight, because I'm going to be busy with...stuff. And I won't be able to write at all tomorrow. So on Monday, I will continue with the entries. Maybe by Monday, I will be able to come up with a way to make everyone forget these damn rumors that Antonio spread, and make everyone know that the kiss was totally meaningless to me.

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To Be Continued

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A/N: This was shorter than it looked on the document. D: Ah well, at least I think the point got across and there's at least a little bit of explanation for what Antonio did. That being said, he was pretty damn vague about it, wasn't he? So there may be something else behind his motives that Lovino has not figured out yet. *Dun Dun Dun*

I'm sorry about how the chapter seemingly got rushed at parts. At the time when writing those certain parts, I was very tired but pushed myself to keep going and going with lots of coffee. As the result of that, I hadn't gotten more than one hour of sleep that day. Ugh.

Ahem. So I hope that you liked it. There's more to come with the next entry that will be written...as soon as the author (that's a me, FYI~ C: ) can drag herself to bed and try and at least get a little more sleep.

Read and review!