Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I own the Master Yoda tattoo band-aid on my right heel.
Mynxi is still the best beta in the world, even when I don't have a cute way to say it.
Chapter Ten
BPOV
My head was swimming as I made my way toward the diner to pick up my dinner. The information in Andy's file lay heavy in my heart, as I realized that his recent past was almost as traumatic as mine. The words from Jenks' thorough report echoed in my mind.
Andrew Wakeman
Subject is the only son of a respected minister in Milford, Pennsylvania.
Early life history unremarkable.
Considerable strife with parents as a teen over revelation of his homosexual relationship with the son of family friends (name Will Porter). Andrew and Will defied their families' wishes and enrolled together at NYU, where they lived together for their freshman year, by all reports in a happy relationship.
During the summer break, both young men returned home to visit their families. On Sunday, June 20th of last year, the Wakeman and Porter families were travelling together to church, with the exception of Andrew, who remained home for an unknown reason. The Wakeman's SUV was struck by a semi, killing everyone instantaneously.
Maternal grandmother is still living in Ellsworth, ME. She has been trying unsuccessfully to contact subject since he returned to New York after the accident which killed his family and lover.
We had so much more in common than we had ever realized. We had both been robbed of our families and we had both lost our loves. Unfortunately, we had diverged from each other in our reactions to the situation we were in. I was running away from Victoria and fighting for my life, whereas Andy was running away from the pain and apparently trying to die.
I grabbed my waiting order at the diner and walked quickly back to Jasper's apartment. He was still seated at his desk, talking on his cell phone as I entered the room. The sight of his amber eyes lifted some of the weight off of my heart and I was struck by the need to be close to him. Placing my takeout on the counter, I quickly crossed the room to him.
Mindful of the fact that he was still on the phone, I leaned over and pressed a kiss onto his cold forehead. He made no sound, but his eyes closed and he reached his free hand up to cup the back of my head, keeping my lips pressed against him. The male voice speaking through the phone paused, and Jasper finally spoke.
"He sounds like a good man for the job, Jenks. Get him to work immediately. I want twenty-four/seven coverage, full details. I'll wait to hear from you. Good night."
As he ended the call, I climbed into his lap and laid my head on his shoulder. I pressed a kiss against his neck, enjoying the soft rumble of pleasure he made in response. "What are all the kisses for, Sweetheart?" he asked as he ran his fingers idly through my hair. "Not that you have to have a reason, it just seems like something is on your mind."
I turned myself to face him and almost lost myself in his clear amber eyes. Running my fingers through his shaggy hair, I tried to find the words to describe my need to be near him. "I was just thinking about how Andy and I are so similar, and how easily I could have ended up like him," I explained.
His eyes crinkled in confusion. "Bella, I don't agree that you were in danger of ending up an addict. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. Anyway, how does that earn me kisses?" he asked, his lips turning up in a wry smile.
"Who knows how long I would have stayed strong, Jasper? The only thing that stopped me from indulging in chemical amnesia was the fear that Victoria would find me if I let my guard down. You can only keep that level of fear up for so long though, so I think eventually I would have succumbed to the temptation to forget it for awhile."
He shook his head at me, but I continued before he could interrupt. "But here's where Andy and I are different. He has nothing to run towards except an end to the pain. But me, I have you to run to now. Just one more thing you've saved me from, I guess. You give me a reason to want to live again, Jasper Whitlock," I finished in a whisper, as I closed my eyes and brought my mouth to his cool lips.
Our kiss was deep yet soft, as if it was full of unspoken feelings. When we finally separated, he cradled my face in his hands. His eyes were blazing with emotion, and I wished momentarily for his empathetic ability. "What is it?" I whispered.
"You have no idea what you make me feel, Bella," he whispered back to me. "For so long, I've been the weak link, the one everyone else had to look out for. The fact that you trust me, that you depend on me to help you, makes me feel good," he said fervently.
I closed the distance between our faces again and spoke into his ear. "I'm getting really fond of making you feel good, Jasper," I murmured as I traced the shell of his ear lightly with my tongue before moving to kiss down the side of his neck. "In fact, I think it could become a habit, if I let it," I sighed, running my hand over the hard muscles of his chest.
"I think that's a habit I can condone, Bella Swan," he growled into my ear as he stood up and moved us over to the couch. In a heartbeat, our lips were locked together once again, our tongues dancing with each other. He allowed me to push him back into a reclining position, and I quickly moved forward to straddle him. We each moaned as my groin settled over his hard dick. Using every ounce of self control I possessed, I restrained myself from grinding down on him. We were just getting started, and I didn't want things to become so heated that he would feel the need to back down.
I leaned forward to kiss his neck with my open mouth, leaving a moist trail up to his jaw line. I ran my hands along the soft cotton of his t-shirt to caress the hard plains of his chest. He made a purring sound as my hands trailed down his abdomen to the hem of his shirt, enjoying the definition of his granite hard muscles. My heart pounded as I felt his hands moving up my sides, his thumbs sliding forward to rest under the curve of my breasts.
Eagerly, I slipped my hands under his shirt, reveling in the feel of his cold, smooth skin as I pushed the fabric up, exposing his abdomen and lower chest. I felt his hands tense briefly on my body, so I stilled my movements and looked down at him. His face was unreadable, his eyes dark and intense.
"Are you okay with this?" I asked breathlessly. "'Cause I really want to put my hands on you, but if you don't like to be touched, I'll stop."
He shook his head slightly. "That's not it, it feels amazing when you touch me anywhere. It's just that the scarring is heavier on my chest, and it makes some people uncomfortable to see it or touch it," he said quietly.
Looking down, I noticed that the scars were more predominant over his chest. "You are beautiful," I murmured as I leaned down to press my lips to the nearest scar. He inhaled an unnecessary breath, and I whispered against his skin, "Is my mouth on you okay, Jasper? I want you to feel good, not remember bad things."
"Oh Bella, that feels real good," he sighed as I continued pressing soft kisses along his chest. "Good," I sighed back as I kissed my way back up to his mouth, allowing my hands to continue stroking his perfect chest. Our lips met again in a more forceful kiss, as I allowed him to take control, thrusting his cold tongue firmly against mine. I moaned into his mouth at the change in pressure, carried away by the pleasure of kissing and touching him.
I was so engrossed in exploring his chest that I had forgotten where his hands were until he slowly began to move his thumbs upwards, inching toward my aching nipples. When he finally reached them, electric shocks sped from my breasts down to my aching core. I was unable to contain my groan of desire as I felt a gush of moisture between my legs at the amazing sensation of his thumbs tracing my peaks through the layers of my clothing.
Frantically, I ground myself down onto his erection, instinctively seeking friction. He groaned at the contact and moved his hands to begin kneading both of my breasts. I broke my contact with his mouth and used my arms to push myself up, allowing his hands better access to fondle me.
"So perfect," he whispered as he sat up to claim my mouth again. His hands continued to caress me, but gradually he began to move back toward my sides. Realizing he was backing off, I broke our kiss to lay my weight fully on his body as I moved my hands reluctantly off of his chest.
"How are you, Sweetheart," he asked as he ran his fingers through my hair. My heart clenched at how concerned he was about my feelings.
"Other than being just a little hot and bothered, I'm just about perfect," I teased him as I fought a yawn. Now that our passion was being put on hold, I began to notice how tired I was.
"Bedtime for you, I think," he laughed softly as he scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom. Ten minutes later, we were cuddled up together and I was dead to the world as sleep claimed me from my worries about Andy and my excitement over making out with Jasper.
The next morning I awoke alone in bed for the first time in weeks. As I moved the comforter, I noticed a note fall to the ground. Scanning it as I headed for the bathroom, I smiled as I read that Jasper was already out to hunt. He told me to eat a good breakfast and that he would be back in time to escort me to my job interview at the bookstore.
I ate a quick breakfast and started my morning routine, fighting the butterflies in my stomach. I was excited about the bookstore I was interviewing at. It was a small business, apparently thriving despite massive competition from the big book chains. I was cautiously hopeful that it would be a good fit. I heard the front door open and close as I finished getting dressed in my new outfit.
"Bella?" Jasper called as he walked into the apartment. "In here," I replied. "You can come in, I'm decent!"
"Damn," he sighed exaggeratedly. "I missed the show." His eyes danced with humor and I took a moment to enjoy the sight of his perfect face in a relaxed smile. It was a marked difference from the somber, reserved man I had met in Forks.
"I might be able to arrange a repeat performance in the near future," I answered primly, before sticking my tongue out at him with a laugh. "You're in a good mood this morning," I mentioned as I slipped on my ballet flats. "What do you think? Am I bookstore clerk material?" I teased as I spun in a circle.
"I know I'd hire you," he teased back. "You look great, Sweetheart. And you'll do fine. If it doesn't work out at this place, something else will come along," he reassured me.
"I know, but I'll feel a lot better about stuff once I'm pulling in a paycheck again. Which reminds me, we need to drop off the rest of the rent I owe Andy today. I was short yesterday, and I don't want to leave him hanging."
Jasper frowned at the mention of returning to my apartment. "I'll take care of it while you're at your interview, if that's okay with you," he answered tightly. "I don't want you anywhere near that place, especially without me. Please don't fight me on this, Bella," he entreated sincerely.
"Relax, Mister. I'm not going back there alone, I promise. If you don't mind going up there while I interview, that's fine with me. Any word from Jenks yet today?"
"He e-mailed me this morning to say the P.I. has located Andy and is keeping close tabs on him." I shivered at his words and he raised an eyebrow in question.
"The whole idea is just so creepy to me," I tried to explain. "I know it's necessary, it just feels kind of shady to spy on him." Shrugging, I looked at the clock. "I need to leave in about a half hour to be right on time," I informed him, trying to change the topic.
"Perfect, you can use the time to try all the bells and whistles on your cell phone," he said matter-of-factly as he tossed a sleek black phone toward me before turning to walk out of the room.
My eyes widened as I just barely made the catch. Turning the phone around in my hands, I scrolled through the menu, smiling when I saw his number as my only contact. My fingers rapidly fell back into the habit of texting, even though it had been years since I had held a cell phone. U R a chicken shit, Jasper Whitlock!
I finished typing the message and waited to hear his phone chirp in the other room. I jumped slightly when I felt my phone vibrate in reply. Am not. Just know when to make a wise retreat. Safe to come back in?
Opening the door, I smiled into his waiting face. "I promise not to damage you too much," I deadpanned as he walked toward me and pulled me in for a hug. I leaned into his hard chest and pressed my face into his soft sweater. "It's nice, Jasper. Thank you," I whispered, fighting my impulse to get irritated at the expensive gift.
"I'm glad you're not upset about it, Sweetheart. It's really a gift to me too," he explained. "I'll feel so much better knowing we can reach each other when we're apart now, especially after yesterday."
"I know, that's why I'm trying not to throw a big fit," I sighed. "I hate how expensive it is, and I hate that I can't pay for it myself, but it will be good to know you're only a call away. I was really scared yesterday," I admitted softly, still wrapped in his arms. We spent twenty minutes playing with the functions and setting ring tones before he reminded me of the time.
"Come on," he teased as he lifted me and turned me around to face away from him. "Don't want to be late for your interview, Miss Sanders," he said in a bland tone, belying the fact that he was squeezing my ass as I walked forward. Blatantly ignoring him, I walked briskly to the door of the apartment.
The fifteen minute walk went quickly as we people watched and teased each other. Smiling, I pointed out the store front to Jasper. The sign read One Page at a Time in a simple, elegant script. Jasper smiled back and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "It looks just right for you, Bella. Good luck, not that you'll need it, Sweets. I'll be back in an hour."
"Thanks," I whispered back, blowing a kiss as I walked in the door. My interview was with Madeline, the store's owner and sole employee. I placed her in her early fifties, noting that her fair hair had a few traces of grey. Her eyes were kind and lively, as was her sense of humor. We were laughing together within minutes, and she quickly offered me the position.
The store sold a variety of genres, mostly fiction, but some biographies as well. There was a small coffee bar in the back. Madeline explained that it was a recent addition and one of the reasons she needed to hire someone. My duties would be split between manning the coffee bar and helping customers with purchases, with occasional stocking duties during evening hours. The schedule was flexible, as she was mainly looking for someone to give her a hand while she was already there. We agreed that I would start next Monday morning.
The icing on the cake was a complete lack of dress code. Madeline herself was dressed in a conservative blouse and trouser outfit, but she assured me she abhorred censorship of any flavor, and hoped I would dress to be comfortable and express myself. I had no plans to break out the spandex again, but it was nice to know I could wear jeans if I liked.
The hour passed quickly as she gave me a tour of the store and explained the coffee maker and espresso machine. Before I knew it, the door bell was chiming as Jasper entered the store. He charmed Madeline effortlessly, sealing the deal on her affection for him by purchasing several Civil War histories she had displayed.
He paid for his books and we left hand in hand to walk back to the apartment. "Was Andy there?" I asked anxiously.
Jasper shook his head negatively. "Nope, I just left the envelope on his bed. The place was still a wreck, but it looks like your room is okay."
I shrugged a shoulder in response. "I don't really have much left there anyway. I don't have any knick knacks or anything to worry about." He hummed absently in agreement, but his eyes were far away. I let it go, figuring he would tell me if it was something important.
We spent the rest of the afternoon window shopping, taking advantage of the mild yet overcast weather. Jasper checked his Blackberry frequently, but reported there was no news from Jenks yet. He treated me to dinner at a Thai place, where I got a kick out of teasing him by waving forkfuls of spicy noodles underneath his nose.
As I enjoyed my Thai coffee, I noticed his eyes grow serious. "Spill it, Whitlock," I ordered gently, reaching for his hand. "Let me guess, you bought me a big screen TV, and you're worried I'll be pissed when you give it to me," I teased, trying to lighten his mood.
He rolled his eyes, but gave my poor joke a sympathy smile before answering. "Bella, I'm wondering if you would consider getting the rest of your stuff and formally moving in with me," he said, watching my face intently. "I would just feel really good if you never had a reason to go back there," he said firmly.
"Jasper, we both know I'm totally living with you already," I sighed. "I have no problem bringing the last of my stuff here, and I have no problem using your place as my home address, but I can't just abandon Andy on the rent. I promise never to go back there alone, but I can't give up on being his friend, either."
He nodded at my words, and I was filled with appreciation for the fact that he could at least see where I was coming from. "What if I arranged to have the rent paid every month for the rest of the year?" he suggested, looking away uncomfortably.
Fighting a flash of aggravation at his willingness to throw money away, I shook my head. "I can't let you do that, Jasper. I'm already living with you for free, and you buy ninety percent of my food. I can't let you pay rent for the place I'm not living at too. I'll just keep paying him month to month from what I earn at the bookstore. That way he can't spend it all at once, anyway," I sighed sadly. Shaking my head, I put my napkin down. "That was great, but I'm all filled up. Let's go home, Jasper."
His eyes widened at my use of the word home, but he didn't say anything about it as he paid the check. When we reached the apartment, I realized I was exhausted from my interview and walking around for the afternoon.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" he called over his shoulder as he walked into the living room. Covering my spicy Thai scented yawn with a hand, I shook my head. "I think I'm too tired tonight. I'm gonna go get comfy and read for a little bit, I think."
"Sounds good, Sweetheart. You had a busy day," he replied as he sat down and turned the on the TV. I brushed my teeth thoroughly, removing all traces of peanut chicken, and changed into yoga pants and a tank. When I rejoined Jasper in the living room, he was watching college basketball. I curled into his hard body and he clicked his tongue at me as he grabbed a pillow and maneuvered me into a more comfortable position.
"I never knew you were into sports," I commented as I opened my book. He chuckled as he started running his fingers through my hair. "I'm full of surprises, Bella," was his only response as he became absorbed in the game and I struggled to keep my eyes open as I read.
The next thing I knew, I was being placed gently on the bed. Jasper smiled down at me and pressed a soft kiss on my nose. "Go back to sleep, Bella my Beauty," he teased. "I'm gonna grab a quick shower before I join you," he informed me as he opened the closet to grab a fresh shirt. My heart stuttered as he slipped the sweater he was wearing over his head and tossed it into the hamper.
As my fatigue evaporated, I literally forced myself to breathe. Barely aware of the fact that I was moving, I rocketed myself out of the bed toward him, as he turned in surprise at my sudden motion. Thankfully, he cushioned my landing as I threw myself at his perfectly sculpted chest. His scars were faintly visible in the dim light and I traced them lightly with my hands as I stepped back to admire the interesting pattern they made over his muscles.
"Oh Bella," he sighed as he lifted me and moved us back to the bed. I pushed against him, and he allowed me to roll us so that I was on top of him, as I made it my mission to worship every scar I could find with my hands or my mouth. He purred in pleasure and the sound went straight to my groin.
He grabbed my busy hands and lifted them over my head, before quickly rolling us back over so he could press his body into mine, licking his way down my neck to top of my low cut tank top. He moved a hand back down my body to cup a breast and I moaned in anticipation as his cold finger caused my nipple to harden through the thin material of my shirt.
Smirking, he played slowly with the firm peak, pinching firmly before releasing it to feather over it with a light touch. He repeated the blissful torture on the other breast and I closed my eyes to better savor the sensations, gasping at the feeling of his cold hands raising the fabric of my tank up over my torso.
Eagerly, I lifted my shoulders to help him and he chuckled at my excitement. Before I could get mad at him for laughing, his mouth met my nipple for the first time, and my ire was lost in wave after wave of pleasure as he tongued me. His fingers paid attention to the other breast, pinching then soothing as I began writhing underneath him.
Looking down at his mouth on my tits, I clutched his hair with both hands, moaning helplessly at the unprecedented intensity of the pleasure I was experiencing. "So good, Jasper, so good," I panted.
Abruptly, he froze and my eyes met his. "What is it, what's wrong?" I choked out. He was out of the bed in a flash, grabbing a shirt and heading toward the door.
"Someone's at the door, Bella. Wait here," he instructed firmly as he walked out of the room and closed the door. Standing up, I rushed to lean against the bedroom door, listening as I heard the front door open. The sound of a male voice filled the room. Jasper's quieter voice replied, but I was unable to hear the words exchanged.
The conversation continued for several minutes, and my shoulders sagged as I began to realize the probable identity of Jasper's visitor. My eyes widened as I heard the door open again and a familiar female voice joined the conversation.
Sighing at the drama I knew would follow, I pulled out a clean t shirt and ran a brush through my hair before quietly opening the bedroom door. As I did so, her clear voice rang out, "Jasper Whitlock, why the hell does it smell like you've been rolling around on…"
The question trailed off as she registered my appearance in the door way. "…Bella fucking Swan," she finished in an icy tone, her amber eyes boring into me like lasers.
Squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath, I walked forward into the room. "Hello Rosalie. Hello Emmett."
JPOV
Approx. five minutes previous…
I was happily engrossed in fondling Bella's perfect tits, skin on skin for the first time. They were so warm and soft, it was unlike anything I had previously experienced. Her nipples were so reactive to my cool touch, and I couldn't resist tasting them. Her responsive moans were making me rock hard and it was all I could do to stop myself from thrusting my dick onto her legs while I worshipped her breasts.
I was so focused on the task at hand that I didn't notice the sound of footsteps approaching the apartment door until just before the knock. I was off of Bella in a flash, grabbing a shirt and heading to the door after instructing her to wait in the bedroom.
I relaxed slightly as I approached the door, recognizing the scent slowly drifting in. No danger was present, but a bucket load of aggravation was waiting outside my door. Sighing, I opened the door as I registered the wave of impatience from the vampire waiting on the other side.
"Nice to see you too, Jasper," he smirked as he stepped inside the opened door. "Don't roll out the red carpet or anything," he teased good-naturedly as he gave me a half man hug.
"You know you're always welcome, Emmett, I just wasn't expecting company," I hedged, clapping him on the back. "Is anyone else with you?" I queried, noting the absence of any other vampire scents.
"Rose is downstairs arguing with the valet about how to park the car, she should be up in a second," he explained with a grin, emitting a wave of affection toward his wife. "We're just taking a week to ourselves," he continued, his face dropping slightly. A wave of concern washed over me, and I realized how accustomed I was becoming to Bella's ability to control her emotions so well.
"Christ, Jasper, who's the cleaning lady? This place reeks of sweet human. How do you stand it?" he asked, eyes lighting up with curiosity. "I haven't smelled something that sweet since…" His sentence was interrupted by Rosalie's entrance into the apartment.
"I swear to God, if there is even a scratch on that car tomorrow, the owner of this building is going to hear about it!" she bitched as she walked in. Her emotions were actually calm, despite her strident words. This was so typical of Rose, using abrasive words to keep others at bay. It was ineffective with me, as my empathy had long since revealed the fact that she was fiercely devoted to those she cared about.
She walked toward me and opened her arms. Without thinking, I moved to return the embrace. Her face froze and I realized my mistake. "Jasper Whitlock, why the hell does it smell like you've been rolling around on…"
We turned to the sound of the bedroom door opening, and both Rosalie and Emmett took unnecessary breaths. "…Bella fucking Swan," Rosalie spat out, glaring at Bella and emitting such a burst of disgust that I struggled to prevent myself from grimacing in discomfort.
Bella visibly squared her shoulders and walked toward us, quietly greeting them as she moved. Emmett's eyes were the size of saucers, and I realized I had never seen him so amazed. Back in Forks, he had stridently resisted leaving Bella but had finally succumbed in frustration when the others agreed it was best.
"Bella," he whispered, moving quickly toward her. She stepped quickly back and a shot of pain, anger and some fear lanced into me from her before disappearing. In a flash, I moved between them, turning her into my chest and wrapping my arms around her. I felt Emmett's hurt and disappointment at her reaction, as well as Rosalie's disbelief and disgust, so I instinctively pushed a wave of calm out. I registered the fact that Bella was also relaxing more into my arms and I filed the thought that she could still receive my projected emotions to explore later.
Emmett walked slowly toward us, confusion evident on his face. "Why are you hiding from us, Little Sis?" he asked, his voice full of hurt. I shook my head at him, but Bella was already stiffening in my arms.
Turning so her back was pressed into my chest, she looked him in the face. "You don't have the right to call me that anymore, Emmett." Her voice was sad but clear, and he actually recoiled from her words. Bella was trembling slightly against me, and I felt a wave of intense anxiety ripple through her before she shut it down.
Turning back to me, she spoke in a low voice. "It looks like it's going to be a late night. I'm going to grab a shower while you guys catch up. You can tell them what they need to know about me," she sighed into my chest.
I gently pushed her back enough to allow me to look into her eyes. Her expression was calm, but I could feel the anxiety vibrating through her little body. "Are you sure, Sweetheart? I don't have to tell them anything. You say the word and I'll keep my mouth shut," I told her, not caring that Emmett and Rosalie could hear everything we were saying too each other.
"The damage is already done, Jasper. They're here, and they're going to want answers. You don't have to lie to them for me," she whispered.
She looked so frail and tense, more like the Bella I had watched at the bar all those weeks ago than the confident woman I had walked around with earlier today. I reached down to tip her chin up to me and pressed a soft kiss on her lips, ignoring the huge rush of shock being emitted by Rosalie and Emmett. "Trust me, Bella. It will all be okay, I promise." She bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders in response before turning to head back into the bedroom.
I watched her walk away and fought the frustration that was building inside of me. We had been making so much progress on her trust issues, and the upheaval of seeing Rose and Emmett was the last thing she needed right now. Sighing, I turned back to my "brother" and "sister".
"Have a seat," I offered, gesturing to the couch. "I'm just gonna check on her real quick and I'll be back so we can talk. I'm sure you have questions," I added wryly. They sat down quickly, Emmett still feeling hurt and confused, Rosalie switching between curiosity and anger at Bella.
I followed Bella into the bedroom, scooping her into my arms before the door closed. She was literally shaking as I sat down on the bed and rocked her. "I'm sure it's hard to see them, Sweetheart, and that it brings up a lot of memories. But I can't figure out what has you so scared," I admitted.
She looked up at me with wide eyes. "He'll know now, Jasper. He'll see it in their thoughts, and he'll know, and he'll try to find me, and I don't want to see him," she babbled breathlessly, her breaths coming short and harsh. Her heart began to race, and I realized she was slipping into a full out panic attack.
"Stay with me, Bella. Slow your breaths," I instructed calmly, settling her back on the bed and holding her face between my hands. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't know what their plans are, or when they'll even see Edward. It doesn't matter though. You don't want to see him, you don't have to, end of story," I said firmly.
"Promise?" she begged, clutching my hands with hers. "I promise, Bella." Tentatively, I pushed a small amount of calm toward her, and it seemed to work, as her breaths began to slow and even out. Her little hands relaxed and she sat up. "Sorry, Jasper, I'm okay now," she mumbled, clearly embarrassed.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Sweetheart. Go take your shower, I'll be waiting for you when you're done."
She shook her head negatively. "You go back out there and tell them. I'll come out when I'm ready," she said firmly as she leaned forward to kiss me softly on the mouth.
"I'm proud of you, Bella," I whispered against her mouth. Giving her a smile, I stood up and walked out to the living room, closing the door behind me. I was greeted by the image of a fuming Rosalie pacing back and forth in front of Emmett. Hearing my approach, she whipped around and pointed a finger accusingly at me.
"What are you thinking, Jasper?" she hissed at me. "That girl has been nothing but trouble for our family since she stumbled into Forks. Edward still hasn't gotten her out of his system, and now you're getting involved with her?" Her words were harsh, full of anger over the breakup of her family. On top of her blame and anger at Bella, I could also feel her love and concern for me, so I resisted the urge to snap at her.
"I appreciate your concern, Rosalie. Have a seat and I'll fill you in on how we got here," I said gently. I was gratified when she quickly complied, and I told the story of the moment I found Bella. They listened in silence as I relayed the tale of how we met and what had happened to her prior to my reappearance in her life, ending with the description of Andy's recent behavior.
Pain and sorrow poured off of Emmett as he listened to me speak. "We never should have left her," he moaned. "I knew we never should have left her, no matter what happened between her and Edward. She must hate us all," he stated, searching my eyes for an answer.
Sighing, I tried to explain without putting words in her mouth. "I don't think she hates anyone, Emmett. I can't always feel what she's feeling, so I'm not sure, but I don't think she hates us for leaving. She's real mad at Edward for lying to her…" I broke off as Emmett growled at the reminder of how Edward had left things with her. "But she only blames Victoria for the deaths of her family and for making her live in fear."
"I want to make it up to her, Jasper," he said forcefully. "Tell me what to do to make it right with her?" Rosalie rolled her eyes at his words, but I felt the surge of affection she was feeling for her soft hearted husband.
"I don't think Hallmark sells a card for 'Sorry we ruined your life', Emmett," she chided without heat. "I'm sure she'll have you wrapped around her fingers again soon, just give her time, baby."
Rosalie's emotional reaction to Bella's story was mixed. She still blamed Bella for the fracture of the Cullen family, but she was more sympathetic to Bella's plight after hearing about her struggles.
Our conversation broke off as we heard Bella open the door and enter the room. I smiled as her scent registered, for even though she had soap of her own here now, she smelled of my body wash. She walked further into the room, heading for the kitchen.
"I'm going to grab some water, anyone need anything while I'm there?" she quipped dryly as she walked. Emmett cracked a huge grin at her joke, a surge of hope blazing from him. "You know what, Bella, I'm starving, what else ya got in there?" he asked eagerly as he stood up to meet her in the kitchen.
She watched in amazement as he opened the fridge and rooted around. "Emmett, what are you doing?" she asked loudly.
"Being a jack-ass," Rosalie snapped from the couch, rolling her eyes as she surfed the channels on TV.
"Bingo!" Emmett shouted as he pulled out the milk. "I could go for some cereal," he enthused, grabbing a box of Cheerios from the counter. Bella and I stood frozen, watching as he poured a giant bowl and dumped milk onto it before raising a large spoonful to his mouth.
His eyes twinkled as he opened his mouth for the cold, dripping mess. Bella turned to me, raising one eyebrow. "What happens when you guys eat, Jasper?" she asked conversationally.
I grinned at her as I answered, matching her light tone. "You ever seen a cat with a fur ball?" She nodded affirmatively in response. "Well, it's about like that, Bella."
Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she turned to Emmett, who was still holding the dripping spoon in front of his face. "Enough, Emmett. I've had a long day, and cleaning up vampire barf is not on my to-do list," she barked at him as she walked over and snatched the spoon out of his hand. Despite her harsh tone, she couldn't stop the smile from creeping across her face.
"Besides, you'd have to eat something way nastier than cereal to make me feel bad for you," she said crisply, smacking the back of his head with the spoon.
He shot me a huge grin, and I felt a surge of hopefulness from him. "Name it, Bella, I'll eat it if it'll put a smile on your face," he teased as he gently snatched the spoon back from her and tapped her on the nose with it. Her smile widened and she stifled a giggle at his antics.
Unable to restrain himself any longer, he slowly moved forward with his arms open. "Please, Bella?" he asked hesitantly. She gazed at him for a minute before stepping into his hug. He folded his large arms around her and she leaned into him. "I'm sorry, Bella. So sorry," he whispered over and over as he held her tight. "Me too, Emmett," she sighed sadly.
"All right, break it up in there," Rosalie shouted from the living room. "He's sorry, you're sorry, everyone's friends again," she snarked. Bella and Emmett stepped apart and she proceeded to get her water while Emmett rejoined Rose on the couch.
"You made his day, Bella," I told her as we walked into the living room. Bella followed me to the smaller couch and sat down beside me, snuggling into my side as I wrapped an arm around her. Rosalie rolled her eyes again, but Emmett just grinned at us.
"I can never understand how it can be comfortable for you to cuddle with a vampire, Bella," he said with a laugh. "It must be like leaning on a statue!"
Before Bella could answer, I felt a wave of irritation from Rosalie. "Of course she's comfortable, Emmett. She probably feels just like she did when she was curled up with her true love back in Forks. You remember him, a guy named Edward," she snapped as she stood up and walked abruptly out the door of the apartment.
I forced myself to remain absolutely still and make no reaction to Rose's words. In truth, her comment struck a nerve. I knew Bella genuinely cared about me, but it was easy to wonder if she sometimes imagined I was Edward.
Emmett made an apologetic face as he stood to follow her. "I'm sorry Bella. She's just still real upset about the family being split up. I'll go talk to her," he said as he walked out the door.
Bella turned her body to face me and reached up to move my head toward her. Leaving her hands on either side of my face, she knelt up on her knees. "You think she's right, don't you?" she whispered sadly.
I didn't reply, but she must have felt my discomfort on the matter, since she continued talking. "I'm so sorry for letting you feel that way, Jasper. I haven't done a good job of letting you know how happy you make me, how good I feel around you," she said, a tear slipping down her face.
"Being with you is nothing like being with Edward," she said urgently. "When I cuddle with you, I'm enjoying being in your arms, not dreaming of being in his. With Edward, I always felt like I wasn't enough. Not beautiful enough, not strong enough, not good enough. I loved him, but that wasn't enough either," she continued, shrugging her shoulders.
"But you," she said breathlessly, "you make me feel like I'm a hundred feet tall. Like I'm strong enough to take on anything. And if I'm not strong enough, I know you'll be standing right beside me to help. You treat me like an equal, you treat me like I'm desirable, and you never push me away. You are nothing like Edward, and I'm so sorry I let you feel that way."
With her last sentence, she broke into sobs. "Don't cry, Sweetheart. I know you don't think I'm him. It just touched a nerve when Rosalie said it, that's all. I know you have a past, so do I," I said in a soothing voice as I wrapped her in my arms again.
"No, that's not good enough, Jasper. You need to know, to understand how I feel," she said desperately, her heart pounding. Before I could reply, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I gasped as I literally felt her emotional wall dissolving. Her emotions hit me like a freight train, so many that I could barely keep track of them, each one almost sharp in sensation to me.
Pain for causing me pain, anger at Rosalie, and fatigue were all present, but the most predominant feeling was love. Her love felt clear and strong, almost like rushing water, threatening to sweep me away with its intensity. Her eyes continued to shine with tears as I leaned over to her to capture her lips with mine in a forceful kiss.
"I love you too, Bella," I whispered into her mouth as we kissed, and I gently pushed a small amount of my love toward her. Her eyes widened and she gasped as she felt it. Her hands clutched my shoulders and a beautiful smile graced her teary face.
"Wow," she said quietly.
"Yeah, wow's about right, Sweetheart," I replied, leaning in for another kiss.
We were both startled by Emmett clearing his throat, standing in the doorway with Rosalie. "Sorry, I know we're interrupting your 'moment'," he joked, making air quotes with his hands. I fought a wave of irritation, but Bella just laughed at his awful timing. "Rosalie had something she wanted to say," he continued, emitting nervousness as he pulled his wife back into the apartment.
Bella climbed into my lap and turned to face them. "Before you start, Rosalie, I have something to say to you," she said firmly. "You can say anything you want about me. I'm a big girl, I can take it, and honestly your opinion of me just isn't that important. But you need to understand, that shit you just said, that didn't hurt me, that hurt Jasper, and that's a problem for me," she continued, eyes blazing.
"So if you have anything else you want to get off your chest about me, let's go somewhere private and you can have at it. But I won't tolerate you throwing my past in Jasper's face just to get a reaction. I loved Edward, he left me, and I had no choice but to get over it. Jasper and I found each other, and I'm not ashamed of that, so if you want to be around here, get used to it," Bella growled.
Rosalie raised a perfect eyebrow and sauntered into the room. "Impressive," she said grudgingly. "Kitten's got claws, huh, Jasper? Anyway, you made your point. I apologize to both of you, I was out of line," she continued smoothly. "I am what I am, I'm not gonna promise to be nice or anything, but I'll keep your past out of it from now on."
Bella remained on my lap, and gave a small nod to Rosalie. "Deal," she said in a clear voice. Turning back to me, Bella tucked her head under my chin. "I'm tired. Come tuck me in?" she asked.
Scooping her up in my arms, I walked her to the bedroom. "Wouldn't miss it, Sweets."
"G'night Bells," Emmett called from the living room. She flinched a little at Charlie's nickname for her and I frowned. Before I could reprimand him, she shook her head. "It's okay, Jasper. It's a good thing to remember him."
She changed into one of my t-shirts and a pair of little shorts. I tucked her in as usual and lay down beside her. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?" she mumbled into my chest as she curled into me.
"I'll stay all night if you want me to, Bella," I answered softly.
"No, they miss you and you miss them. You need to spend time with them. Just let me fall asleep before you go," she said drowsily.
"Okay, baby. I'll be right in if you start to have a nightmare."
"I know, Jasper." Her breaths were already slowing into an even pattern as I smiled at her words of faith in me. I had been so worried about her reaction when Emmett and Rosalie showed up, but she was once again proving to be stronger than I could ever imagine. She drifted into a deep sleep, so I kissed the top of her head as I stood carefully and went out to visit with my "siblings."
AN-
Mynxi, thanks for everything you do! If there's no punishment, what's the reward, hmmm? Do I wanna know?
Thanks to every single reviewer! I love you all so much! I cracked 300 after the last chapter! That means I've smiled over 300 times thanks to you all! I still reply to each one, and I've started giving hints of what's up next with my replies!
Several people have asked whether I've posted on any other sights yet. The answer is no, not yet. We have a chapter or so to go before hard core user agreement violation will occur, plus I think the moral minority like to go after the bigger, more popular fics, so I might be fine. Anyway, I'll post on my profile and in an AN whenever I finally decide where I'm posting my back up!
OK, now the hard part. I have to revise expectations a little. I'm sure you've noticed my inability to update once a week, so I'm going to start planning for every 2 weeks, in hopes that I can actually live up to that. I promise, I'll keep them coming on a regular basis, I just can't seem to work much faster than that! Thanks for your patience!
Love you all!