AN: Sandusky was found guilty. My faith in humanity has been restored.

Disclaimer: The plot is mine. Everything else…not so much.

Chapter 10

"As promised, here are your practice quizzes from yesterday." Ms. Lydon walked around the room, handing back the lined sheets of paper. "Even though they don't count, they are a good indication for how well you will do on the test, which is…"

"Friday," we answered in unison.

"Good." She got to my row, and my stomach churned nervously. "I know our class is wrapping up, but don't lose yourself in the home stretch." Placing my paper face-down on my desk, she continued, "Just a little over a month left. I don't want to see any of you lose the grade you've been working so hard to maintain."

Only after she moved to the next row did I dare look. Angry red lines cut through most of my answers. A shameful 10% stood at the top of the page, followed by See Me After Class.

Groaning, I flipped the paper back over and stayed rooted in my seat even when the bell rang. I doodled on the back of the quiz so I don't have to see the curious looks my classmates must have been giving me.

"Artemis," Ms. Lydon started, coming to my side, "you can do better than this. You're an A student."

"Sorry," I muttered.

"I don't want an apology," she told me gently. "I don't even want an explanation, unless you feel like giving me one. I just want you to know that you should not end this year with a C. You are such a bright girl."

"Thank you," I managed, speaking around the lump in my throat.

"You can bring your grade up—you know I always drop the lowest grade of the marking period, and your World War II test is the only thing holding you down. However, that means you need to ace the next one. Okay?"

"'Kay." I stood hastily, never before so excited to get to gym.

"I know you can do it," she added softly, almost like an afterthought.

I acknowledged this with only a nod because I did not feel like being late and the next class was already coming in and I was afraid that if I spoke, I'd suddenly burst into tears. Because, truthfully, I didn't think I could get an A, or a B, or even a C. We'd been learning about post-WWII Europe for the past two weeks, but none of it had really registered; school was not exactly at the top of priority list at the moment, and I was too busy trying to regain some normalcy to put it there. Now, it was going to come back and bite me.

The rest of the day was a blur, my mind too focused on not failing AP Euro to really care about anything else. Once home, I planted myself at my desk and opened my notes, determined to memorize everything necessary. When I tried to read them, however, I suddenly realized why I could barely remember anything from class. The detailed descriptions of Stalin's regime would shift to a stream of conscious about what happened the night Terror had raped me or my relationship with Wally or my wishing that I could talk to Cam.

"God, I'm screwed," I muttered, burying my head in my hands. I managed to read whatever coherent notes I could, but I knew it wasn't going to be enough, especially when sentences would be half-finished and my homework sheets were complete BS.

"C'mon, Artemis," I mumbled to myself, reaching for the textbook. "Focus. Just really, really focus. You can do this."

I believed that for the first five pages before acknowledging that it was useless. The test was on four chapters; it took at least two hours to read each chapter because there was so much information. That was on a good day. At the moment, I had to reread every sentence before having a chance of processing it.

Pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration, I skipped perusing and jumped to skimming, gathering bits and pieces of information. After getting through all the required pages, I realized I couldn't answer any question on the Need to Know study guide Ms. Lydon had given us. Completely overwhelmed, I slammed the book shut and threw it off my desk, turning to my other work because I might as well not fail all my classes.

Do you still think everything's perfect? the voice questioned. Is struggling in school when you never used to perfect?

I shook my head angrily and attempted another stoichiometry problem.

You're so busy fighting for Wonderland that you can't see you're drowning in reality. Even Alice had to go home sometime. So why are you still running, Artemis?

"I'm not running," I told the empty room.

You're right. You're tripping and falling, only you're not going down the rabbit hole. Rock bottom's a scary place, and when you reach it, no one will be there for you. Not the Team, not Wally, not your mom. Not even Cam.

My pencil snapped in my hand. Taking a deep breath to control myself, I put all my stuff away—I wasn't going to get anything done tonight. All I could do was act like everything was normal (it's a shame it's only an act, isn't it, Artemis?) and wait.

"Artemis?"

"Hey, Cam."

"What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. Just going to end Euro with a C, if not lower. No big deal."

"What happened?"

"We have a test on Friday and I'm going to fail it."

"You're not going to fail."

"I got a twenty percent on the last test and a ten percent on the practice quiz. I am going to fail."

"You still can't pay attention in school?"

"No."

There was a pause, too long for my liking. "Cam?"

"I'm still here. It's just… I need to say something, and you're not going to like it, but I just need you to listen, okay?"

"I'm not telling anyone about the rape."

"I know that. But maybe if you talked about it, you'd feel better."

"I talk to you."

"No. We talk, but we don't talk about what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Maybe you have to." His voice was gentle, pleading even. "It can't be good, pretending it didn't happen."

"So what, I'm supposed to dwell on this and relive it? That's not going to fix anything, either."

"Not relive it; get over it."

"Talking about it will not help me," I spat. "And I don't want to talk about it. I just want to figure out a way to do well in this stupid class."

"I could help you."

"Oh, yeah, you could help me in an AP class." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. "Oh my God. Oh, God, Cam, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that, I didn't. You know I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." If I was anyone else, I would have believed him. But I was his best friend, and I heard the pain in his voice.

"Cam—"

"Artemis, I know you have a lot on your mind right now. It's okay. I swear. Now, about your class: your textbook must be online somewhere, right?"

"Yeah."

"So give me the website for your book and I'll read the chapters to you."

"It takes forever to read, and there are four chapters."

"You can go to sleep; I think your brain still processes stuff even when you're not awake. And I don't have school, so I can just go to sleep whenever."

It was crazy, but I was running low on options. Telling him the website, I settled down and waited for him to access the Cave's main computer. "Don't you think Batman or one of them checks the history? What are they going to say if you're reading about European history at ten at night?"

"Artemis, I'm a teenage boy. Do you know what most guys my age are looking up at this time of night?"

"Cam!"

He chuckled. "I'm just saying that there are a lot of worse things I could be doing than trying to get past my current education level. So, where am I starting?"

"Chapter 22."

I managed to stay awake for an hour before slipping into a dreamless sleep. When morning came around, I hurried to my desk and grabbed the study guide. I could answer the first seventeen questions.

It was completely unorthodox, and a horrible suggestion to anyone else, but it was working. For the next two days, I didn't even bother trying to decode my notes; I placed all my trust in Cam.

"All material away, everyone," Ms. Lydon said, passing back the Scantrons. "Remember, keep your eyes on your own paper." She handed out the test packets. "No writing on the actual tests. You have all block."

I suddenly felt sick. I was basically taking this test with no prep whatsoever and I needed to do well and I just wasn't—

And then I saw the first question. And I knew it. Right off the back. Without even having to rack my brain.

Smiling to myself, I got through the test, confident in almost every answer I put down. And when I got home, my confidence was justified. 96.25%. Only three wrong.

So you didn't fail, the voice mused. Doesn't mean everything is going to be rainbows and sunshine. Get into the real world.

"I am in the real world," I objected. "And I'm doing just fine."

And it was true.

(Are you sure about that, Artemis?)