Authors Note: I just wanted to give a big huge thank you to all the people who took the time to review. I know it's time consuming and it takes effort and for those of you who did I really appreciate it. You guys make it worth killing so much of my time to write. Thanks again and I hope you like this chapter. I ended up extending this chapter by two pages after some of the comments in review so enjoy. More to come sooner rather than later.
Getting up Faith wondered how quickly life had become rather monotonous. Going through her morning routine Faith got ready for the day and made her way out into the streets of Sunnydale. She was rather surprised by what she saw. It seemed that the citizens of Sunnydale had finally gotten wise to what was happening in their little slice of suburban America. The streets were filled with cars and it was clear the town was voluntarily evacuating itself. That could put several kinks in her plans so Faith decided she needed to get the rest of her supplies before the day was over.
Walking to the local Radio Shack Faith walked through the aisle picking up everything she would need to make a couple of listening devices. She picked up several FM receivers, AA batteries, five transmitters and five amplified microphones. Taking her purchases back to the apartment she went back to the streets for a couple more supplies. She knew if people were evacuating that eventually the town would lose power. That meant they would need a source of light. Going to the hardware store she found it deserted. Deciding to take what she needed Faith grabbed two carts and stared grabbing supplies. She filled one cart with flashlight, lanterns, and batteries. The second with candles, lighters and a gas powered generator. Walking out of the store Faith was mildly surprised that no one looked at her twice.
Dragging the two carts to the Summer's residence she called the girls and told them to put everything away because she still had a couple of things she needed to do. Returning to the center of town Faith went to the cell phone store and picked up all of their cheap phones. The store was still open which she found weird but she was willing to buy the things she needed. Returning home with another stop at Radio Shack to pick up a six recorders Faith went back home and got to work.
Three hours later and six bugs made Faith was ready for her attack on the preacher and his vineyard. Deciding to test her luck Faith packed a bag with a couple of charges of C-4 and the bugs and went to the Vineyard. If she was lucky the preacher would be out, if not she hoped she was able to distract him.
Looking over the vineyard Faith spotted a couple of Bringers but she didn't see the preacher. She knew it could mean he was in the building itself. Walking around the building to the back Faith set a charge into the base of the building and set the detonator to go off in three minutes. Moving to the side she set off another charger for six minutes. Moving away from the building Faith hid in the underbrush and waited for the first explosion to go off.
The bang and debris attracted the Bringers and they came out in a small swarm to the back of the building. Taking advantage that the preacher didn't come out Faith crossed her fingers and went into the building. She had three minutes to plant her bugs and get out. Searching for well hidden areas Faith turned on her bugs and placed them. Going deeper into the building she looked for whatever it was that caused the preacher to show fear the other night. Seeing a large hole in the back wall going deep into the earth Faith followed. Keeping to the shadows she saw six Bringers working on chiseling something that was imbedded in stone.
The second charge went off and Faith knew she had run out of time. Making a bee line for the exit Faith ran as quietly as possible hoping not to attract attention. Getting out of the building and into the woods Faith kept up a good pace. She had only a knife and she knew if she got caught by the Bringers it might be the last mistake she ever made.
Running to the Summer's residence Faith set up her receivers in the living room. Faith looked at Dawn. The girl was clearly surprised to see her. The look quickly turned to animosity but Faith had no time for it. "I have a job for you." She said as she finished up setting everything. "I've planted a couple of bugs into the vineyard. I need you and maybe one of the other girls to listen to whatever preacher man says and write it down. He might say something important he might not say anything but hopefully this will give us a clue as to his next move." She said showing Dawn how to work everything and taking out a couple of pads of paper and pens for her.
"How did you do this?" Dawn asked confused.
"I learned a few new tricks." Faith she said before looking at the girl for a long moment. "You know while I'm available I think we should have a little one on one time. I don't know what you remember or what the monks said what happened but I'm really sick of seeing your dirty looks and feeling your sharp words. If you have an issue let's get it out in the open so this crap can stop." Faith said taking a seat and looking at Dawn expectantly. It was clear her words threw the girl off because she merely stared at Faith for a long moment before slowly nodding her head.
"I guess I'm still angry at you for betraying Buffy, for hurting her so much, for hurting me. I hated the fact that you suddenly didn't like me anymore. One day we were friends and the next you told me I had to stay away from you. Then I heard all the things you did to Buffy and it just made me angry that you were working so hard to hurt us. I thought I was your friend Faith?" Dawn says her voice becoming a little strained.
"I see well there really isn't much I can do about that Dawn. If you want an explanation I can give it to you but I can't offer solace or closer." Faith said a little lost on how to proceed with a girl she didn't even know existed a couple of days ago.
"I guess you could tell me why. I've never been able to figure out why you went bad and started working with the Mayor." Dawn said clearly seeking a reason behind the actions of the past.
Nodding her head Faith tried to think of the right way to tell the kid the realities of the past. Thankfully time had wiped away most of the emotions involved with the past and it allowed her to look at it objectively.
"Alright I guess I could do that." Faith said nodding her head. "I came to Sunnydale with Kakistos hunting me down. Do you remember my tattoo?" She asked pointing to her arm where there was nothing, not even a scar. The dollhouse had removed it so she would be 'perfect'. "There was a tracking spell attached to the tattoo. Kakistos must have thought I would escape because I did manage it more than once. The first time I got away he had me marked so that I could never run again. Or at the very least I couldn't run very far.
"The thing I never told you guys about Kakistos is that he liked to play with his food. My watcher was in his delicate care for three weeks before he killed her. I managed to get away once and when I tried to come back for my watcher he caught me. By the end of those three weeks my watcher was insane. All remnants of humanity, of sanity had been slowly striped away layer by layer. I watched most of it and I can tell you that beyond being rather creative Kakistos was a rather sadistic bastard.
"As you know he tracked me here and Buffy and I managed to kill him. Now some of the things you might not know was that I had little to no money when I arrived. The Council was no longer supporting me since I didn't have a watcher. So some reasons for going to the Mayor included that he was actually willing to provide for my basic needs. He made sure I was fed, clean, dressed, and that I had a roof over my head. Giles and Wesley never took my physical needs into consideration. They never asked or even wondered how I was able to pay for that crappy motel room. They never wondered how I was able to feed myself. Trust me when I say more than once I sacrificed eating for a place to sleep. It was a hard life for me Dawn. I was sixteen and I had to decide each day which was more important; something to eat or a place to sleep. I made a lot of sacrifices and my rewards for those sacrifices were few and far between.
"That night in the alley changed everything. I don't know if your sister told you everything that happened so I'll go over it again. We were going through the alley taking out vampire after vampire. On the last one Buffy grabbed him and threw him to me as she had done with the others. I plunged my stake into his chest and I was rather surprised when he didn't turn to dust. Allen was an accident and regardless of the bull shit I spewed out I felt terrible, I also felt betrayed. Your sister blamed me for his death and the guilt was overwhelming.
"Things got worse between me and the gang and by the end I was so wrapped up in my own self hatred that the only thing I could think of was dying. So I went to the Mayor and honestly he worked very hard at making me feel wanted, making me feel loved. I still wanted to die don't get me wrong but for the first time in months I felt as if someone actually cared about me. It was nice. So I played his games and gave him and the world the impression that I was helping him as much as possible."
"Wait what do you mean played his games?" Dawn interrupts.
"Well I mean I wasn't evil, I was suicidal. I wanted to die Dawn and honestly I didn't have the strength to kill myself. So I figured your sister could do it for me." Faith says with a small smile. "I worked hard at antagonizing her. I picked on Angel, I choked Xander, and I threatened Willow. I don't know what you think I did to you. Drawing a blank in that department. Overall I was just working her into a temper so she could do the job without remorse."
"Then why did you kill the professor?" Dawn interrupts again.
"This may sound cold but honestly he was just a casualty of war. The Mayor wanted him dead and I knew it would be one more reason for your sister to kill me. Don't get me wrong I do regret killing him but at the time the meaning of right and wrong was rather blurred. It was need and survival, and a death wish all combined. Anyways to move on I poisoned Angel so Buffy would come after me. I mean really do you know how long it took to find a poison with a cure? Especially a cure that required draining and possibly killing a slayer? I spent weeks looking for that poison. It didn't hurt that Angel had to suffer either. So that's the jist of it kid. I wanted to die and your sister was a means to an end. I would have let her kill me in the end except the idea of being fed to a vampire was about as appealing as being ganged raped. Plus I didn't want her to become like me, to fall into that pit of darkness and despair and guilt. So once she stabbed me I jumped. I figured if the knife wound didn't kill me the fall would. Seriously messed up that neither of them did.
"So does any of that make you feel better? I hated your sister and honestly I loved her too. It's a thin line and the pain it can cause is immeasurable. Do I regret what happened? I don't know. I can't change how things happened and honestly I'm not sure I would. It helped make me into the person I am today and I can't resent that. Am I sorry if you got hurt in the crossfire? Not particularly since in my mind you never existed. Do I desire for us to build new bridges over the wreckage of the past? Sure, from what I heard you're a pretty awesome person and I could always use another friend." Faith finished staring at the girl in front of her expectantly.
"Let me think on it. I will stop with the sharp words and nasty looks though." Dawn said extending her hand in a truce. Faith smiled and shook it.
Getting up Faith walked out of the dining room and went to look for the girls. She had already been late to train them and the heart to heart with Dawn had only delayed her even more. Walking out side Faith noticed the sun was a little past its peak. Looking at the backyard she couldn't help but smile at all the girls already out stretching.
"I organized the girls and we went for a run. We followed the route you took us on yesterday." Kennedy reports as she stretches her quads.
Faith smiled again happy that the girls were taking her words seriously. She didn't care for being put in charge by proxy but she had to admit it wasn't so bad when the girls were so eager.
Four hours later Faith walked back into the house. The girls were starving and Faith had to admit so was she. It had been a long day and breakfast was a long time ago. Rummaging through the kitchen Faith released a sigh of mild aggravation. There was food in the house but they were back to the minimum. Again she was surprised at how much twenty people could eat in a matter of a couple of days.
The only good thing she could think of was that the town was practically empty and at least this time she probably wouldn't have to pay for the groceries. Searching around the house she found Xander. He was in the dining room talking to Dawn. Interrupting the conversation she asked for his keys. Fishing them out of his pocket he threw them to her before asking her where she was going.
"I'm going to the store. The house isn't empty but we honestly don't know how much longer we are all going to be shacked up here." She told him with a slight smirk.
"Do you need a hand?" He asked and she was surprised that he offered. Nodding her head she walked to the door. Throwing the keys back to Xander, Faith decided he could drive.
The grocery store still had food which surprised Faith. The place was locked up and Faith decided that they had nothing to lose by breaking in to the place. Going to the back door she took out her lock picks and picked the locks. It was a three tumbler lock and she smiled at how little the people of Sunnydale actually worried about security.
Entering the building with Xander following behind Faith went straight to the office. Again she had to pick the lock. Walking in Faith looked over the security system and disabled it. She was surprised that someone had thought to arm the place before they left the night before or the night before that. Checking out the surveillance system Faith she was grateful that they only had a basic video tape system instead of a high tech off site monitoring system. It saved her a lot of time. Removing the tapes she shut off the surveillance and walked out of the office.
"Did you just do what I think you did?" Xander asked and Faith nearly jumped since he had been so quiet she had almost forgotten about him.
"If you mean did I just make sure we don't get in trouble for robbing this place? Then yes." She said before grabbing a cart. Walking through the aisles with Xander following with a second cart Faith picked up a cart full of fresh vegetables and a cart full of fresh fruit. She figured they would be the first to spoil and the best things to feed the potentials. Going to the cash registers she bagged all the food and took them back to the car.
Packing up the car Faith and Xander made another run through the store for dried goods. She made sure to grab loads of pasta, sauce, snacks, and cereal. Returning to the registers they bagged the goods before packing them into the car. The last trip they covered the milk, cream, cheeses, meats, sugar, spices, and fish. By the time they were done the whole truck and back seat were full. Locking up the store Faith got into the car and looked at Xander. She was impressed that he hadn't objected even once.
"So I never got to thank you for saving us at the vineyard." He started and Faith just nodded her head. "I know I haven't been the friendliest person since you've been back and I'm sorry. I haven't really thought about the past and what happened between us until you arrived. When I first saw you I have to admit I was angry. You hurt us all the last time you were here. But after talking to Dawn earlier today I think I might final understand why." He paused and Faith wondered where he was going with the conversation.
"I just well I wanted to say I am sorry." He said making Faith stare at him in confusion. "I didn't understand what you were going through when you first came here. I don't think any of us understood. We should have worked harder to include you and we shouldn't of ostracized you for Finch. It was an accident but we acted as if you had done it on purpose." He paused again as if unsure of what else to say. "So I guess I just really wanted to apologize and thank you for coming back. You've helped a lot and maybe the others don't see it but I've seen it. You train the girls, you cook dinner every time you are over, and you think of the basic things like shopping. You've made this war a little easier to get through and I just wanted you to know I appreciate it." He stopped as they pulled up in front of the house. Turning to look at Faith he studied her for a minute. "So thank you." He said before getting out of the car and leaving Faith in a state of shock.
Shaking off her shock Faith got out of the car and stopped him as he was grabbing the bags. "Well if we are in a sharing mood then I'll say I'm sorry for the past and I hope we can start fresh." She said offering the olive branch. She didn't know if they would ever be actual friends but getting along would be good enough for her.
"I forgive you for the past since it seems you are forgiving me. So yeah we can start fresh." He said grabbing a couple of bags and making his way to the house.
Faith grabbed the rest in the trunk and trudged her way into the house. The sun had long since set and she called the potentials to go finish emptying the car. She had to admit they were good for manual labor. Smiling Faith went to the kitchen and put away the vegetables that she wouldn't be using over the next couple of days. She kept out the fruits in the hopes that the girls would eat them. Asking the girls to put the groceries away she got to work making dinner.
Finishing up dinner Faith looked at the clock. It was nearly 9pm. They were going to have a very late dinner. Remembering that the dining room was filled with her transmitters Faith set out all the food on the island and called the girls in to grab dinner. The girls practically stormed into the kitchen and she knew that they were tired and hungry. She expected they would all be asleep before eleven. Shaking her head Faith waited for all the girls to grab their food before she grabbed her own.
Everyone sprawled around the living room. Joining the girls Faith was a little surprised to see Willow, Xander, Giles, Andrew, and Buffy join the group. Buffy had been rather reclusive coming and going as she pleased. Faith hadn't seen her join them for dinner any of the times she had cooked. She was glad that Buffy had joined them. She knew Buffy kept herself at a distance from the girls and she understood the need to protect herself. Yet she also knew that the girls needed to have a bond with Buffy, needed to have confidence in Buffy in order to follow her. The thing Buffy didn't seem to understand was that the girls weren't soldiers; they wouldn't follow blindly and obey orders without objection. They were teenagers and emotional and argumentative. If Buffy wanted their support and respect then she had to earn it.
Getting up Faith went back to the kitchen to warm up some blood for Spike. She hadn't seen the vampire through most of the day and she knew he wasn't a big fan of hanging out with the potentials. Finishing her dinner while the blood warmed up Faith placed her dish in the sink grabbed the mug and went downstairs. She found the vampire smoking while starring out at nothing.
"Hey Spike." She said breaking his daze and handing him the mug.
"Hey." He said taking a sip and starring again at the emptiness.
Deciding the vampire wasn't in the mood to talk Faith shook her head and returned upstairs. The sink was already full. Going into the living room she told the girls that they could wash the dishes in the morning. She reminded them she would be there in the afternoon and to eat the fruit before it went bad. Walking out into the darkness Faith released a sigh at another long day before walking back to her apartment.