They went back to Pontiac Illinois after Cas had complained about Jimmy, who had been refusing to shut up about going home. Once there, the annoying twenty-something year old had quietened down a bit and Cas had been able to relax. He had felt rotten for the next few days, and was unable to move for the days after that. For some reason,he had been right as rain and completely full of energy after had enjoyed it, even though he knew that something was wrong. He was right, because a month after arriving at the motel in Pontiac, it happened. After two days of being perfectly alright, Dean's nightmares seemed to come to life and everything went spiralling downhill.

Dean woke up and rolled over to find the space next to him in the bed empty. He'd rubbed at his eyes half fallen out of the bed, dragging the sheets off with him. He looked around desperately for Cas, but he couldn't see him anywhere. Fear took hold of him and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He pulled on a pair of jeans and went to check outside the room. Just before he left, he heard the shower running and stumbled back into the room, trying to calm his heart.

The shower water turned off and a few minutes later, a still damp Castiel half fell out of the bathroom, white shirt sticking to his chest and jeans still unbuttoned. He tugged on the jacket as he stood in the doorway before turning back to Dean. Cas looked worse that morning than he ever had. His face was completely drained of colour and he was using the wooden posts of the doorframe to hold himself up, unable to stand on his own. His eyes were sunken and he was too skinny. He'd been slowly thinning out for a while now, but it hadn't been noticeable until now. "Good morning," he whispered, voice shaking. He tried to take a step, but fell to the floor, shaking and sweating with tears leaking from his eyes.

Dean rushed to his side, crouching down. "You're okay, Cas. Hey? You're fine, aren't you?" he muttered and wrapped his arms around Cas, smoothing his hair back from his forehead and trying to stop the shivering.

Castiel shook his head as a cough racked through his body and blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth. He closed his eyes and sent a prayer to his family. He hadn't spoken to them in ages…. He hadn't even tried. He prayed then. He prayed that someone would come help him. He clawed desperately at Dean's shirt and hooked his fingers into the stretchy material. He took a shuddering breath and rested his head on Dean's chest.

"Castiel!" Uriel's voice was loud and clear and Cas winced at the sound of it. Uriel was standing there, shadowy wings spread out behind him. "What is wrong with you?" he tipped his head to the side curiously.

Cas opened his eyes weakly. "I'm sick…"

Dean tightened his arms around the angel. "Can you help him?" he asked, trying to control the shake in his voice. He quietly asked Cas the name of the angel who had just appeared and cas tried to mumble Uriel's name though he wasn't sure if he succeeded.

Uriel came closer and peered at Cas. "Perhaps… I have seen this before… Your vessel is… Ill and not under your control..." he looked Dean in the eye. "I can heal him, but only if he comes to heaven with me."

Dean shoved Castiel upright. "Then take him! Take him and fix this!"

Cas moved back, away from Uriel as if he was scared. The truth was that he was terrified of what Uriel would say, that he wouldn't let Castiel back into heaven.

Uriel sighed and rubbed his hands together, dark eyes flickering to Dean's hand as it curled around Castiel's. "I'm afraid… healing him will take a long time. Years. And we must heal his vessel as well… which involves sending him home and wiping his memory."

"So? I don't care about his stupid vessel, just heal him, damn it!" Dean pushed Cas forwards, a panicked look on his face.

Uriel held up a hand. "I'm afraid you may never get to see him again," he said in a completely neutral voice.

Dean froze. He squeezed Cas' hand and stared into those terrified, blue eyes. "So… either way I'm going to lose him?"

Uriel nodded.

Dean bit his lip and let his hand fall to his side. "Then take him," he whispered, voice breaking and a tear rolling down his cheek. He wiped at it angrily. "Just… just take him…"

Cas' eyes widened and he shook his head. Then he stared down at the ground and nodded slowly. "Dean… I'll be gone for years."

Dean took a deep breath. "I know. But Cas, you… you're dying, man…. I'd rather lose you, but know you're okay than lose you forever."

Cas looked back up at Uriel who turned backed off to give them some privacy. "Dean… If I go, you won't be okay."

Dean scratched his forehead. "I'll be fine. I'll just… I guess… I'll miss you." He cringed as the words passed his lips.

Castiel's eyes seemed to go flat as he reached out to take Dean's hand again. "I don't want you to miss me…" he couldn't believe what he was about to do. "I don't want to miss you either… So, I'm going to get Uriel and the others to do something for both of us."

Dean's eyes narrowed. He felt a bit sick thinking about whatever it was that Cas was planning. "What are you going to, Cas?" He clenched his fists

"Uriel will erase both of our memories."

"The hell he will!" Dean's voice was a shaky whisper. His stomach flipped and he didn't know what to do. Fear took hold of him. Real, genuine fear… something he hadn't really felt in a while. "I am not letting that son of a bitch anywhere near me!"

Cas reached out a hand as if to tell Dean that he meant no harm. There was a drop of blood on his forehead in place of sweat. "I don't want to miss you."

Dean climbed to his feet. "Cas… All of those memories… everything we've been through… they can't just.. not have happened! You were my fucking imaginary friend for God's sake!"

"All of that will still have happened. We just won't remember any of it."

Dean turned on Uriel who had backed into a dark corner. "Can you really do this?" he was trying desperately to hold back the tears. He couldn't cry in front of people.

Uriel nodded once.

Castiel tried to stand up, but he couldn't do it without Dean grabbed his arm and helping him up. "Dean," he panted, wincing and wiping at his forehead with the back of his hand. "Please…"

Dean nodded and placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder. He pulled him into a hug and kissed his neck tenderly. "I'm going to miss you…"

"No. You really won't. You can't miss something you've never had."

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' waste and held him close. "I love you," he whispered.

Castiel grinned and hugged Dean back as a tear made its way down his cheek. "I guess that means that I love you too." He pushed Dean back a bit so he could kiss him. "I wish that this was something I could remember… I don't want to go back to how I was… but I have to."

Dean buried his face in Cas' neck. "I… love… you…" Tears spilt over and he tried to sniff them back.

Thank you…Jimmy whispered. The lucky bastard got to go home.

Cas bit his lip and pulled back from Dean. He turned to Uriel, who nodded in response. "Goodbye, Dean… perhaps we will meet again someday." He smiled sadly. It was highly unlikely, though the chances were that everyone else's memories of Cas ever being around would be erased as well.

Dean took Cas' hand. "How is this going to happen?" He didn't notice Uriel stepping up behind his and holding a hand over his head,

Cas squeezed that calloused hand. "It's already happening…" He started tipping backwards and two more angel appeared out of nowhere and took his arms before he smacked into the ground.

"No. No! No, I'm not ready!" Dean tried to tug Uriel's hand off of his head, but the angel was strong and a strange, paralysing feeling started spreading through him. It started at his head and moved down. He could feel himself… fading. It was like when you're thinking of things while you're trying to sleep and you let your mind wander for one second, and suddenly you don't remember what you were thinking about. It was a frustrating experience. Dean held onto his memories of Castiel with all of the strength he possessed, but he could feel them starting to sift way. He felt those old memories of the angel forcing their way into his head before he forgot them completely. "Goodbye, Castiel," he whispered as the world around him went out of focussed and faded away completely.

The last thing he heard was a deep, rough voice saying his name, voice breaking in the middle of the word.

Then all of those memories were lost.