A/N: So I actually finished this about a week or so ago, but at that point I was meeting Beth (my beta) for the second time and staying with her, so I couldn't get her to beta it, just for the fact I'm uncomfortable if people are in the same room as me whilst they read my writing. And basically I forgot about it until now. (Best. Day. Ever. *insertoverusedgif* but apologies for being the slowest beta ever - Beth)

As usual THANKYOUSOMUCH for the reviews, you guys continue to astound me. I love you so much. Anyway, this chapter is little over 2,500 words, I set 2,500 to be my goal, so it's not as short as usual but it's not extravagantly long.

I'm now listening to Les Mis soundtrack because of densi omfg I'm going to stop typing now

-LJ x

Deeks and Kensi both laid awake in bed that night, both knew the other was awake but neither of them spoke; both stared into the darkness above them. Neither said a word. Kensi's thoughts were riddled with the brief kiss at the restaurant; in fact her thoughts had not wavered from it since it'd happened. Deeks had kissed her. Her mind hurt from running through scenarios, up to the point where she let out a groan and covered her face with her hands. Deeks turned his head in her direction, letting him see her faint outline. He stared at her wondering if he should say something, but before he could try Kensi had already felt his movement. She knew he'd turned to her. She removed her hands from her face and turned her head to his. Neither of them could see much but they knew they were close and they knew they were looking at each other.

"What did that mean?" Kensi said in a voice so low it was barely a whisper. Deeks hadn't realized how close they actually were until he felt her breath on his face.

"I don't know, Kens,'" he sighed. "I don't know."

Kensi sighed again and closed her eyes "This thing we have Deeks. We're living with it now, twenty-four seven."

"I know," he said. "We're going to be here for a year. In this bed, in this house, as a couple. Married. Parents."

"What should we do about it?" she asked him.

"Well," Deeks raised his hand and moved some hair out of her face, lightly caressing her cheek. "We-"

The door to their bedroom creaked open and Deeks removed his hand fast and sat up, the light from the hallway illuminated the room. Both of them squinted as the sudden light burnt their retinas. Kensi buried her face in the pillow before sitting up.

"Daddy," a sad voice said from the door way. "I'm scared."

Kensi's heart broke at the sadness in Lucas' voice and all of a sudden everything that had just happened became meaningless. This boy was what was most important right now. "Lucas," she whispered.

"What's wrong buddy?" Deeks got up from bed and walked to the door, lifting him up. The boy started crying and clung on to Deeks' shirt. "Bad dream?" The boy nodded into Deeks' shoulder. Deeks closed the door and carried Lucas to their bed; laying him down next to Kensi before climbing in himself.

Lucas curled into Kensi and she put an arm around him, her hand landing on Deeks' waist. Deeks did the same and they cuddled close to the boy muttering 'Shhs' to him as he cried. Kensi and Deeks looked into each other's eyes as Lucas' sobs became quieter and his breathing became more regular as he fell asleep. Deeks brushed his thumb along Kensi's waist slowly as she lightly squeezed his side. Kensi closed her eyes and fell asleep to the soft motion of his thumb against the exposed skin in between the hem of her shirt and top of her pajama pants, Deeks fell into slumber not long after.

Kensi awoke to a heavy weight on her chest. She wheezed a little before squinting open her eyes, seeing two bright blue ones staring back at her. "Lucas?" she muttered. "What are you doing sitting on me?" she yawned.

"MOMMY'S AWAKE," Lucas shouted.

"Ah," Deeks said moving. "Daddy is too now, thanks," Deeks yawned, turning over slightly to grab Lucas from behind and lift him off of Kensi's chest, to place him on his own stomach and start tickling him.

Kensi sat up and leant against the headboard, smiling as she watched Deeks terrorize the little boy who was laughing and screaming out 'Daddy stop!'

"Okay, Buddy." Deeks stopped tickling the boy. "How about you go play with yours toys in the sitting room, you haven't had chance to play with those ones since we moved in, have you? We're going to be home all day today," Deeks told him. "Me and mommy will be through to make breakfast in a little while."

Lucas nodded happily and Deeks lifted him off the bed. Both watched as he left the bedroom, closing the door a little.

"Don't open the curtains, just switch on the light!" Kensi yelled.

"Kay!"

Kensi sat so that her legs were tucked half under her and turned towards Deeks; the sheets still covering them from the waist down, Kensi began to speak, "what were you going to say last night? Before Lucas came in?"

Deeks looked at his hands and started playing with his thumbs.

"Deeks, please," Kensi said, covering her hand over his, stopping him from distracting himself. She mentally cursed herself for saying his name so loudly, but the door was closed and the sitting room was all the way up the hall, so hopefully Lucas didn't hear. "You're not usually the one to be closed off, that's my job so just stop it."

"We shouldn't do anything," Deeks said. Kensi looked crest fallen. "Yet," he continued. "We have to live together for a year, and if we start something that doesn't work out… it's dangerous."

Kensi nodded and moved out of bed. She grabbed her jeans off the ground and pulled a shirt and sweater along with panties out of her drawers. "I need to go for a walk," Kensi said to him.

"Kensi I-"

"I know Deeks. I just need to walk," Kensi said, taking her clothing through to the bathroom and getting changed. She washed her face and brushed her teeth at record speed before grabbing her brush and pulling her hair into a ponytail. Kensi zipped up her sweatshirt and left the bathroom and walked back into the bedroom where Deeks was still sat in the bed.

"I need the ear bud," Kensi whispered.

Deeks nodded and leant over to the right of him, opening the top drawer and lifting up a small red box. He opened it and passed the bud to her.

Kensi pushed a strand of hair back and put the bud safely into her ear, switching it on.

"I'm taking Lucas with me."

"Cailin-" Deeks said, he almost continued before he saw her face.

"We'll be back soon, Warren."

Kensi left the bedroom and walked down the hall to see Lucas in the sitting room playing with his plastic castle. She went up to him and lifted him up.

"Mommy I was playing," he said, still holding a plastic toy.

"Me and you are going for a walk," Kensi told him, taking him to his bedroom. She sat him down on the bed, taking the knight toy from him and throwing it into the toy box. She walked over to his wardrobe and opened it, picking out a simple outfit.

Walking back over to the bed, she helped him out of his pajamas and got him into his new outfit, putting his little sneakers on as well.

"Did something hah-pun?" Lucas asked.

"What do you mean?" Kensi retorted, tying his laces.

"Mommy looks sad again, do you want daddy to kiss you like last time?" Lucas questioned, remembering yesterday at the restaurant.

"No," Kensi said a little too fast.

Lucas nodded and put his arms around her neck as she picked him back up. She walked through the house and slipped on her own shoes.

"Wave to daddy," Kensi said as they passed the kitchen.

Lucas waved. "Is daddy not coming? Daddy said we weren't going out today," Lucas said, suddenly remembering what Deeks had said in the bedroom.

"Your dad has some stuff to do to prepare for work on Monday, so we're going to go for a quick walk while he does that," Kensi told the boy, opening the front door and walking out.

Kensi carried Lucas up the road, trying to remember the way to the park. It was pretty early in the morning so she didn't pass too many people, just a few dog walkers and a possibly lost tourist. She turned many corners and suddenly heard a buzzing in her ear.

"Hello? Who's there?" she heard a voice, that she didn't recognize, say through the ear piece. She quickly raised her free hand to her ear and flicked it off, hoping she hadn't accidentally walked into an open frequency. Kensi kept walking as a sleepy Lucas, who had barely been awake when they had left, sucked his thumb with his head on her shoulder.

Finally they reached the park.

"Lucas, we're here," she told him. He flicked his eyes around and took his hand out of his mouth. She moved him a little and gently placed him on the ground. "Go play, mommy will be sat on this bench, stay where I can see you," she said, kissing his head. She wasn't prepared to lose this little boy just because she had theoretically just been rejected by the man she may love.

Kensi sat on the bench and watched as Lucas ran towards the play equipment in the park. She raised her hand up to her ear and flicked the bud back on, pulling out her cell so any passersby would think that she was talking into her phone.

"Hello?" the same voice she didn't recognize from earlier spoke.

Kensi was confused; she swore these ear buds had only one frequency setting. "What frequency is this?" she spoke up.

"Classified," the voice said. This was the right frequency. "Are you one of the assigns to 102.345?"

Kensi ran the numbers through her head before recognizing it as the case number. "Yes. Who is this? You're not part of the team."

"Take over's ma'am," he spoke in a very formal voice "Analyst Simon Scott, you're Agent Blye; only female in the field?"

"Affirmative," she said. "Is Nell- Miss Jones- there? I need to speak to her."

"Yes," he said, Kensi heard the faint buzz of a transfer and suddenly:

"Kensi?" Nell spoke.

"Thank god. Is this line private?" It felt good to hear her friend's voice. Kensi glanced at Lucas who was playing with the other kids who had slowly started to fill the park.

Kensi heard buttons being pressed from the other end. "It is now." Kensi could hear the smile in her friend's voice. "I'm on the move, going somewhere more private."

She sighed contently. "I need you to run some names, Janet and Kennedy; Kennedy is a four to five year old girl and she goes to Hazelton. I can't imagine it's a popular name for 4 year old girls so she should be easy to find. I don't know their last names."

Nell mumbled a 'yes' down the line "Is that all you wanted to talk about Kens'?"

"No," Kensi admitted. "It's about Warren," Kensi was careful with his fake name across the line. It was fine for Nell to use Kensi's name because the OSP was a safe place, a park, not so much.

"What's happening? You can't be fighting already."

"No," Kensi sighed. "Sort of the opposite"

Nell gasped and Kensi could practically hear the eye roll. "Please tell me you didn't sleep together."

"As if," Kensi sighed

"Good," Nell sighed in relief, "'cause if you guys sleep together and start an actual relationship and it doesn't work out, you can really mess things up."

"That's what he said, can you just be the supporting friend please?"

"I'm sorry Kensi. I want to be but this isn't what the ear bud was made for, this is so dangerous what we're doing," Nell told her, Kensi could hear her fingers tapping on her tablet.

"I Know, I'm sorry I'll go." Kensi began to raise her finger to her ear.

"Kensi… I miss you," Nell told her.

"I miss you too." And it was true, Kensi missed her best girl-friend, really, her only girl-friend, more than anything. She missed their obnoxiously girly habits of ice cream and rom-coms, that they boys would never find out about, ever. She missed their nights out in the clubs or at a show or at a rally. She missed her best friend. Sure she had Deeks, but could she even look him in the eye now after he had practically told her 'never gonna' happen'?

Kens flicked off her ear bud and 'hung up' her cell; she stood up and walked over to the play equipment and knelt down next to Lucas and another little boy.

She placed her hand on Lucas' back and he looked at her. "Time to go home Luca," she said. He nodded and she lifted him up. Holding him close to her, she, tough-as-nails Kensi Blye, needed to feel like someone wanted her, and right now it was the little boy in her arms that she found solace in.

Kensi began the walk home with Lucas, holding his hand tightly. He had asked to be put down when they were about five minutes from the park. The wind was getting more sharp now and Kensi was beginning to get cold, meaning Lucas was probably freezing.

"You cold?" she asked him.

The little boy, with cheeks red and swollen from the cold, nodded at her.

"Want to be held?" she asked, thinking if she held him it way warm him up a little.

He shook his head.

"You sure?"

He nodded again.

"Okay then, we're going to have to hurry. Don't let go of my hand," Kens told him as she began to pick up pace, Lucas kept up pretty well and in no time they had made it home. Kensi pushed open the door and Lucas ran in first. "We're back," she shouted.

Deeks popped his head out of the office door. "Hey," he said in a sort of monotone voice. "Have fun?"

"Yes!" Lucas said, running to him as he left the office and closed the door. Deeks leant down and picked him up.

"You're freezing!" Deeks remarked. Lucas nodded.

"Problem with your words today, Luca?" Kensi asked.

Lucas shook his head half way and then spoke up "Are you two fi-ten?"

Deeks and Kensi looked at each there, both not with an answer – Were they fighting? They weren't exactly acting like a loving married couple, they had barely said two words to each other since they came in. Sure, she and Lucas had literally only just come in, but he had started a conversation with Lucas, and not her. Was he angry at her for walking out? She didn't know if she was angry at him for rejecting her. Nell had said the same thing.

"We're not fighting," Kensi reassured Lucas, who then snuggled closer to Deeks.

"We just need to have a conversation, privately," Deeks said to him, making eye-contact with Kensi. He rubbed Lucas' back and put him on the ground. "Go play in your room, me and mommy will make some food."

"Kay," Lucas said, walking through to his bedroom and closing the door.

Deeks walked up to Kensi, keeping eye-contact with her. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you, I never want to hurt you."

Kensi looked at the ground. "I was being childish," she said lowly. "I shouldn't have run off like that; shouldn't have taken Lucas."

Deeks put one of his hands on Kensi's arm and lifted her face with the other. "It won't go wrong, us, this. It won't ever go wrong."

Deeks moved closer to Kensi and lightly brushed his lips against hers. He kept his face close to hers and whispered, "take it slow."

Did you expect that I bet you did I suck at this covert thing. It's like 11pm and I've had alcohol tonight so I just thought WHY NOT WRITE THE AN OF THE CHAPTER YOU FORGOT I had a bbq today okay heres the usual stuff bye

Apologies from meeee because you would've had it sooner if I hadn't taken 5eva to beta. But exams suck. –BETH yeah I emailed her to this when I was totally not slightly drunk on Monday

Review rule still applies, if you like it, please review so I know I should carry on, if you hate it, hey, if you want to review, go ahead. Criticism helps :)

All and any questions will be answered in next chapters a/n :)

-LJ x