Chapter ten
Tenth installment! Oh and those of you that have come to really like Victoria are going to get quite a surprise in this part. Well, it's late and I have three tests tomorrow. Is it just me or do all teachers somehow manage to assign tests all on the same day? Well, off to study, and then bed.
Night! Read and Review!
As the time of her confinement drew nearer, I spent more time at home, helping her with the various chores and such. We discussed all kind of names from Jennifer to Delilah, Thomas to Vincenzo, my personal favorite, my grandfather's name.
On November 6, 1901, Vincenzo Jack Higgins was born at 3:18 AM. He looked exactly like me, with black hair and dark eyes. He had twinkling brown eyes that seemed to take in everything around him.
Jack almost laughed himself to death when he came over and found Vinnie with my cards, not chewing on them, but holding them, studying them with the most serious expression on his face, as if he were in a high stakes poker game.
Then and there my little two-month-old son received his newsie nick, Cards. And I loved it. Vicky would shake her head when I took out the card pack and shuffle it with Vinnie on my lap. He would clap and giggle at the rustling cards and I often did it if he couldn't sleep. He loved cards.
I took him to the track and he was an instant hit. He loved to see the big horses, especially La Tempesta. I insisted on speaking Italian to my children, even if Vicky did not understand what I was saying. She picked up enough over the years to be decent, but never fluent.
One year later, on June 2, 1903 during the late afternoon, along came our first daughter, who we instantly named Marina, as she looked so much like my mother, black eyes and everything. Ma always told me I have my grandfather's eyes.
One day, Blink and Davy and their girls took our kids for a day when I had to run and to give Vicky a break. They took them down to Brooklyn and my little girl fell in love with the large Hudson Bay, the sea waves crashing against the docks. It was right that she be named for the sea. They named her Waves.
It may seem like we had the prefect marriage, but we didn't. I remember one incident which almost ruined us. It was perhaps the third year of our marriage. Vinnie was three, Marinna, only a year and Vicky was carrying our third.
It was after a big run in which I had come in first place and won quite a lot of money. I always went out with the boys afterwards, and Vicky never minded, as long as I came home sober. But this time, for some reason, I stayed out later and got quite drunk. I stumbled home, happy only to find my angry wife waiting for me.
"Where were you?" the words greeted me as I entered. I shrugged and shut the door behind me Vicky frowned, studying me.
"Are you drunk, Race?" I shrugged.
"I ain't had too much, jist a li'l." I said, frowning. She glared. I don't remember why, but we began to argue and it ended with me flying at her in anger and striking her across the face. I don't remember much about it, but I do remember falling asleep in our bed alone.
When I woke up the next morning, I found a note, informing me that Vicky had left and had taken the children with her. I know only one place she would go. Her mothers. My breath came short, as I slumped down and slammed my head against the tabletop.
Idiot! I told myself as I crushed the letter in my hand. I had done the very thing I had sworn never to do. If this continued, I'd be on my way to becoming one of those men, the men I had promised Vicky I'd never be.
I grabbed my coat and hitched a ride on the back of a cart until I'd reached Uptown. There I bounded up the steps and pounded on the door. Some stiff answered the door and informed me with a cold voice that deliveries were around back. But my eyes caught on the hat sitting on the hall table, the same hat I'd given to my son the day before. I shoved my way inside and burst into the study where I heard voices.
I saw Vicky, with little Marina on her lap, surrounded by a group of woman, both young and old. There must have been four or five and her mother was among them. Vinnie was in the corner shuffling cards, but looked up when I burst in and ran headlong for me.
"Papa!" he screamed and wrapped himself around my legs. I grabbed him and held him tight. I did not want to let him go. I was not letting him go.
"Race!" Vicky's voice was startled as I approached her. I winced as I saw the purple mark on her cheek.
"What are you doing? How dare you come here, after what you've done?" her mother yelled. But I ignored her. Instead I swallowed my pride and knelt in front of my little wife.
"Pa!" Marina cried, reaching out for me. Vicky held the squirming child back from my grasp.
"What do you want, Race?" she asked coldly. I couldn't stand her using that voice with me. I closed my eyes and then opened them again, begging her to look at me. She did not.
"Vicky," I whispered. "Doll, please. I'm so sorry." She glanced at me, but turned away. I shook my head.
"Look, dahlin'" I said, " I didn't mean it. Ya know dat. It wus a mistake, a mistake I ain't makin' again. Please, come home?"
"How do I know that, Race? How do I know this isn't the beginning? How do I know you aren't like all the rest?"
"Cause, I ain't. I won't let meself be like da rest. I'se gonna be a good husband fer youse and a good fadda. Youse and me, we'se gonna raise dese kids tagedda, memba?" She glanced at me, the cold look warming just a bit.
"Please," I whispered, desperate, " I can't lose ya. I love ya." She smiled gently and took my hand.
"You promise?" I nodded.
"Wid all me heart." I whispered the words so only she could hear. A slow smile lit up her face and she pulled me to my feet. I barely remembered the other people in the room as she handed me my daughter. I held her close as she called my name and patted the head of my small son bouncing next to me. I thanked God for the second chance. I took her hand and began to lead her out the door when her mother gave a shriek.
"What about what you said last night? How I was right, and you were never going back?" Vicky glared at her.
"I was angry and upset. I meant none of it."
"But why are you going back with him when he did that to you?' she pointed to the bruise. I winced and tightened my grip on Vicky's hand and around my daughter. Vinnie cowered behind me, not liking the yelling as Marina hid her face in my shirt.
"Because that's what you do when you're in love. You forgive each other. Come on Race," she led me out the door, pausing to gab my cap and slap it on Vinnie's head. The door slammed behind us and we were a family once again.
It didn't happen again. I made sure of it. I kept my promise and Vicky had no cause to complain. We had each other and that was enough.
I was now a recognized jockey, spending many hours at the tracks, training and winning. La Tempesta was a brilliant horse, fast and skilled. He soon got over his fear of the gun and won every race he was in. I loved it. I was racking it in big time. Almost five dollars a day for a while!
That was lucky because my third child and second son, Dino Silas Higgins was born on January 4,1905. He was the first of our children to have Vicky's eyes, but still he had my hair. He adored Jack, and began to follow him everywhere, even when he could only crawl. David jokingly named him Little Cowboy and the name stuck.
From the time he was four, he wanted a rope so he could do tricks, just like the real cowboys.
Life was good in those years, so very good. I forgot that good things never happen to kids like me, and I forgot that happiness could never last forever. I forgot so many things.
But I was happy. My children were growing up straight and tall. They had food in their bellies everyday. They had warm beds to sleep in every night. They went to school and learned the ABC's and 123's. They had so much that I had never had and I loved nothing more than to grab them all up and take them to the candy store on a whim and let them buy as much as they wanted. But I insisted that my children know about the world around them, the world in which their Papa grew up.
They saw heartache and suffering everyday. I would take them down to Brooklyn to visit spot and they would see the suffering there. I would take them to the lodging house to see my friends who were still there and to see Crutchy who now run the place along with old Kloppman.
Yes, life was good, and I forgot the pain and heartache I had known all my life. But Fate was bound to catch up with me some day. My luck had to run out.
In 1908, Vicky was expecting the fourth addition to our growing family. I was expecting the usual, I had been through three before, and expected this one to be no different. But never expect the expected. My luck had to run out and one night in late July, it did.
Vicky struggled for hours during this time. I sent the kids off to the lodging house to be taken care of, and I paced outside the door for almost six hours with Jack, Blink, Mush, and Spot by my side.
When it was all over, Sarah opened the door, carrying a small girl, with her eyes and her hair. But she looked nothing short of devastated. I took the small baby in my arms and looked at her.
"Zaira." I whispered, my princess. Then I turned to look at Jack who was whispering with Sarah. Jack's face was pale and I knew something was wrong. I handed the baby to Spot and made to enter our bedroom. Jack stopped me.
"Race, buddy, ya can't go in dere." I stared at him, knowing something was wrong.
"Why not?" I asked him, pushing past him. He grabbed my shoulders.
"Race, please!" His tone was panicked and I shoved him away, dashing into our room.
It was dark, so very dark and I hated it. I approached the bed and saw my wife, her hair spread out around her head like a halo. Her eyes were closed, those bright clear eyes I loved so much, were closed and I could see that her chest wasn't moving.
I couldn't breathe as I sunk down beside her, grabbing her cold hand and feeling the sobs wrenched from my throat. No one came in and somebody closed the door. I sat in there, sobbing my cold dead wife, by my side.
I lay there for almost a day, before drawing the cover over her face and getting to my feet. I looked at the bed, feeling so lost, before making my way slowly to the door. I found the apartment deserted with a note from Jack that everyone was downstairs. When I made my way downstairs to Jack's, I pushed open the door and saw my three children crowded around the new baby.
"Pop!" Vinnie cried as he launched himself at me. He was an energetic seven years old. I stared at him, and wrapped my arms tightly around him, before drawing six-year-old Marinna and four year old Dino into a tight hug. They did not say a word, but I think, felt I needed this. I held them so tight, trying not to cry again. I had nothing left inside of me anyway.
After a long moment, I let go and led the three of them over to the table. Jack and Sarah had wisely left us, but not before trying pressing my new baby into my arms. I refused to take her, handing her to Jack. I rubbed my temples, knowing I had to tell my children, but finding I had never ever done something this hard. It was as if saying it, telling my children, made it final.
"Kids." I began. They looked up at me, all expectantly. "Come 'era." And I hugged them again,
"Where's Mama?" Dino asked. My heart shattered at the sound of his light little voice. I swallowed hard.
"Is Mama sleepin'?" Vinnie asked, his usual tough guys attitude replaced with childlike fear. I nodded, yes, that was the best way to put it.
"Yeah, Mama's sleepin'"
Tenth installment! Oh and those of you that have come to really like Victoria are going to get quite a surprise in this part. Well, it's late and I have three tests tomorrow. Is it just me or do all teachers somehow manage to assign tests all on the same day? Well, off to study, and then bed.
Night! Read and Review!
As the time of her confinement drew nearer, I spent more time at home, helping her with the various chores and such. We discussed all kind of names from Jennifer to Delilah, Thomas to Vincenzo, my personal favorite, my grandfather's name.
On November 6, 1901, Vincenzo Jack Higgins was born at 3:18 AM. He looked exactly like me, with black hair and dark eyes. He had twinkling brown eyes that seemed to take in everything around him.
Jack almost laughed himself to death when he came over and found Vinnie with my cards, not chewing on them, but holding them, studying them with the most serious expression on his face, as if he were in a high stakes poker game.
Then and there my little two-month-old son received his newsie nick, Cards. And I loved it. Vicky would shake her head when I took out the card pack and shuffle it with Vinnie on my lap. He would clap and giggle at the rustling cards and I often did it if he couldn't sleep. He loved cards.
I took him to the track and he was an instant hit. He loved to see the big horses, especially La Tempesta. I insisted on speaking Italian to my children, even if Vicky did not understand what I was saying. She picked up enough over the years to be decent, but never fluent.
One year later, on June 2, 1903 during the late afternoon, along came our first daughter, who we instantly named Marina, as she looked so much like my mother, black eyes and everything. Ma always told me I have my grandfather's eyes.
One day, Blink and Davy and their girls took our kids for a day when I had to run and to give Vicky a break. They took them down to Brooklyn and my little girl fell in love with the large Hudson Bay, the sea waves crashing against the docks. It was right that she be named for the sea. They named her Waves.
It may seem like we had the prefect marriage, but we didn't. I remember one incident which almost ruined us. It was perhaps the third year of our marriage. Vinnie was three, Marinna, only a year and Vicky was carrying our third.
It was after a big run in which I had come in first place and won quite a lot of money. I always went out with the boys afterwards, and Vicky never minded, as long as I came home sober. But this time, for some reason, I stayed out later and got quite drunk. I stumbled home, happy only to find my angry wife waiting for me.
"Where were you?" the words greeted me as I entered. I shrugged and shut the door behind me Vicky frowned, studying me.
"Are you drunk, Race?" I shrugged.
"I ain't had too much, jist a li'l." I said, frowning. She glared. I don't remember why, but we began to argue and it ended with me flying at her in anger and striking her across the face. I don't remember much about it, but I do remember falling asleep in our bed alone.
When I woke up the next morning, I found a note, informing me that Vicky had left and had taken the children with her. I know only one place she would go. Her mothers. My breath came short, as I slumped down and slammed my head against the tabletop.
Idiot! I told myself as I crushed the letter in my hand. I had done the very thing I had sworn never to do. If this continued, I'd be on my way to becoming one of those men, the men I had promised Vicky I'd never be.
I grabbed my coat and hitched a ride on the back of a cart until I'd reached Uptown. There I bounded up the steps and pounded on the door. Some stiff answered the door and informed me with a cold voice that deliveries were around back. But my eyes caught on the hat sitting on the hall table, the same hat I'd given to my son the day before. I shoved my way inside and burst into the study where I heard voices.
I saw Vicky, with little Marina on her lap, surrounded by a group of woman, both young and old. There must have been four or five and her mother was among them. Vinnie was in the corner shuffling cards, but looked up when I burst in and ran headlong for me.
"Papa!" he screamed and wrapped himself around my legs. I grabbed him and held him tight. I did not want to let him go. I was not letting him go.
"Race!" Vicky's voice was startled as I approached her. I winced as I saw the purple mark on her cheek.
"What are you doing? How dare you come here, after what you've done?" her mother yelled. But I ignored her. Instead I swallowed my pride and knelt in front of my little wife.
"Pa!" Marina cried, reaching out for me. Vicky held the squirming child back from my grasp.
"What do you want, Race?" she asked coldly. I couldn't stand her using that voice with me. I closed my eyes and then opened them again, begging her to look at me. She did not.
"Vicky," I whispered. "Doll, please. I'm so sorry." She glanced at me, but turned away. I shook my head.
"Look, dahlin'" I said, " I didn't mean it. Ya know dat. It wus a mistake, a mistake I ain't makin' again. Please, come home?"
"How do I know that, Race? How do I know this isn't the beginning? How do I know you aren't like all the rest?"
"Cause, I ain't. I won't let meself be like da rest. I'se gonna be a good husband fer youse and a good fadda. Youse and me, we'se gonna raise dese kids tagedda, memba?" She glanced at me, the cold look warming just a bit.
"Please," I whispered, desperate, " I can't lose ya. I love ya." She smiled gently and took my hand.
"You promise?" I nodded.
"Wid all me heart." I whispered the words so only she could hear. A slow smile lit up her face and she pulled me to my feet. I barely remembered the other people in the room as she handed me my daughter. I held her close as she called my name and patted the head of my small son bouncing next to me. I thanked God for the second chance. I took her hand and began to lead her out the door when her mother gave a shriek.
"What about what you said last night? How I was right, and you were never going back?" Vicky glared at her.
"I was angry and upset. I meant none of it."
"But why are you going back with him when he did that to you?' she pointed to the bruise. I winced and tightened my grip on Vicky's hand and around my daughter. Vinnie cowered behind me, not liking the yelling as Marina hid her face in my shirt.
"Because that's what you do when you're in love. You forgive each other. Come on Race," she led me out the door, pausing to gab my cap and slap it on Vinnie's head. The door slammed behind us and we were a family once again.
It didn't happen again. I made sure of it. I kept my promise and Vicky had no cause to complain. We had each other and that was enough.
I was now a recognized jockey, spending many hours at the tracks, training and winning. La Tempesta was a brilliant horse, fast and skilled. He soon got over his fear of the gun and won every race he was in. I loved it. I was racking it in big time. Almost five dollars a day for a while!
That was lucky because my third child and second son, Dino Silas Higgins was born on January 4,1905. He was the first of our children to have Vicky's eyes, but still he had my hair. He adored Jack, and began to follow him everywhere, even when he could only crawl. David jokingly named him Little Cowboy and the name stuck.
From the time he was four, he wanted a rope so he could do tricks, just like the real cowboys.
Life was good in those years, so very good. I forgot that good things never happen to kids like me, and I forgot that happiness could never last forever. I forgot so many things.
But I was happy. My children were growing up straight and tall. They had food in their bellies everyday. They had warm beds to sleep in every night. They went to school and learned the ABC's and 123's. They had so much that I had never had and I loved nothing more than to grab them all up and take them to the candy store on a whim and let them buy as much as they wanted. But I insisted that my children know about the world around them, the world in which their Papa grew up.
They saw heartache and suffering everyday. I would take them down to Brooklyn to visit spot and they would see the suffering there. I would take them to the lodging house to see my friends who were still there and to see Crutchy who now run the place along with old Kloppman.
Yes, life was good, and I forgot the pain and heartache I had known all my life. But Fate was bound to catch up with me some day. My luck had to run out.
In 1908, Vicky was expecting the fourth addition to our growing family. I was expecting the usual, I had been through three before, and expected this one to be no different. But never expect the expected. My luck had to run out and one night in late July, it did.
Vicky struggled for hours during this time. I sent the kids off to the lodging house to be taken care of, and I paced outside the door for almost six hours with Jack, Blink, Mush, and Spot by my side.
When it was all over, Sarah opened the door, carrying a small girl, with her eyes and her hair. But she looked nothing short of devastated. I took the small baby in my arms and looked at her.
"Zaira." I whispered, my princess. Then I turned to look at Jack who was whispering with Sarah. Jack's face was pale and I knew something was wrong. I handed the baby to Spot and made to enter our bedroom. Jack stopped me.
"Race, buddy, ya can't go in dere." I stared at him, knowing something was wrong.
"Why not?" I asked him, pushing past him. He grabbed my shoulders.
"Race, please!" His tone was panicked and I shoved him away, dashing into our room.
It was dark, so very dark and I hated it. I approached the bed and saw my wife, her hair spread out around her head like a halo. Her eyes were closed, those bright clear eyes I loved so much, were closed and I could see that her chest wasn't moving.
I couldn't breathe as I sunk down beside her, grabbing her cold hand and feeling the sobs wrenched from my throat. No one came in and somebody closed the door. I sat in there, sobbing my cold dead wife, by my side.
I lay there for almost a day, before drawing the cover over her face and getting to my feet. I looked at the bed, feeling so lost, before making my way slowly to the door. I found the apartment deserted with a note from Jack that everyone was downstairs. When I made my way downstairs to Jack's, I pushed open the door and saw my three children crowded around the new baby.
"Pop!" Vinnie cried as he launched himself at me. He was an energetic seven years old. I stared at him, and wrapped my arms tightly around him, before drawing six-year-old Marinna and four year old Dino into a tight hug. They did not say a word, but I think, felt I needed this. I held them so tight, trying not to cry again. I had nothing left inside of me anyway.
After a long moment, I let go and led the three of them over to the table. Jack and Sarah had wisely left us, but not before trying pressing my new baby into my arms. I refused to take her, handing her to Jack. I rubbed my temples, knowing I had to tell my children, but finding I had never ever done something this hard. It was as if saying it, telling my children, made it final.
"Kids." I began. They looked up at me, all expectantly. "Come 'era." And I hugged them again,
"Where's Mama?" Dino asked. My heart shattered at the sound of his light little voice. I swallowed hard.
"Is Mama sleepin'?" Vinnie asked, his usual tough guys attitude replaced with childlike fear. I nodded, yes, that was the best way to put it.
"Yeah, Mama's sleepin'"