This chapter is basically me playing with stream of conscious and first person. It's Alec and Magnus's thoughts after the kiss. If you want to imagine this in some sort of context I would say that they're probably both just lying in their own (separate) beds thinking about the kiss. Alec is the first passage, Magnus is the second.
OH MY GOD. That happened. That actually happened. A boy kissed me. I kissed a boy! I kissed my teacher! That shouldn't have happened. I know that- that was wrong. Of course it was wrong. It was illegal, it was my teacher. It was Magnus. Wow, I think my parents would never speak to me again if they knew I kissed a boy, but . . . . wow. That was amazing. I feel like I broke every rule in the universe and it felt so freaking good. Magnus must have a lot of experience. Wait, but what if I was bad? Is it possible that it could have been good for me but bad for him? Maybe I suck at kissing, maybe that's why he wanted me to leave. But how could we have just done the same thing and for him not to feel it. He had to have felt that. How incredibly right it felt. Maybe that's just how it feels when you're gay and you kiss a boy. Y'know, like that's how it's supposed to feel. But, I don't know, everything that felt right had to do with Magnus. The softness of his lips, his hands wrapped around me, his body against mine, his hair plastered to his face, and his eyes. Those eyes. They seemed to glow. People glow when they're enjoying something right? He must have felt it too. I know he did.
I think I just kissed my student. Yup, that definitely happened. I definitely kissed a seventeen year old boy. Why do I stupid things? But, man, do stupid things feel goood. I think I might be a hedonist. And, frankly, I'm not sure I care so much at the moment because wow, that was incredible. My lips are still tingling. I can't remember ever feeling this, this- alive. Oh, God, Alexander. The way he looked when he said that was his first kiss. His beautiful blue eyes wide and full of wonder. It nearly made my heart break. He's so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful. By the angels, I have kissed some talented people but that, that was something else. His grip was so strong. He seems so timid but when he knows what he wants, man oh man. It's not even that he was exactly 'good at kissing' perse, but he's so passionate that you just get lost in him. He's so adorable and young . . . young. He's freaking young! I think I just assaulted a minor. Did that count as an assault? That was illegal, that was definitely illegal. I'd lose my job if anyone found about that. I mean I'm not all that crazy about that school and everything. The other faculty members are bastards, frankly. But I don't want to lose my job and I don't want to go to prison. I'm a 'predator.' That's what people would call me. That's what his parents would say. Because he lives with his parents! I can't do this. I can't let that ever happen again. That, God, that was amazing, but it was wrong. I, I took advantage of him. At least in the eyes of the law that's what happened. God, what the hell is wrong with me to have done that. Why did I do that? He was just- he's just so gorgeous. And that felt so incredibly right, but I know it was wrong. I was wrong to do that. It was wrong. It can't ever happen again.