Chapter 10 – Trouble in Paradise

Not really happy with this chapter at all... sorry it took a bit longer to upload, I've been very busy lately. Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing it means a lot.

You'd think being with Vastra as an "item" would have its advantages. Of course there is, she's a lizard woman from the dawn of time there are many highlights of being with Vastra; but ever since I expressed my feelings for her she has been very overprotective and arrogant.

It's like, just because we are together that gives her an excuse to continuously go out mysteriously and not tell me her whereabouts, or constantly arguing with me about accompanying her on her cases because I "may" get hurt. I mean it's nice to know that she cares about me and my wellbeing but she treats me as a child. I can handle a sword easily; she trained me for heaven's sake, yet im still not ready to go out with her on these cases. "I am aware Jenny that you are skilful when it comes to sword fighting but using a weapon is not a game and I sometimes think you forget that" she said before she went out last night. How could she think that I thought this was all a game, I was a match girl after all, I spent my 'hole life defending myself from thieves and thugs of the streets. Maybe she thinks our relationship is just a game? An excuse to keep me in the house and keep me quiet? Does she really care for me like I do for her?

I would usually sit in the kitchen now and wait for Vastra to return, welcoming her with her favourite food and beverage but I figured I should put this time to good use and practice my sword fighting. When I'll actually get to put my skills to the test I don't know but I was mad at Vastra for not trusting that I can defend myself so I needed to let off some steam anyway.

I was still in the spare room when Vastra returned. I heard her travel into the kitchen where she usually finds me at this hour. I carried on with my practice, perfecting the different stances and moves that I had learnt over the last few months. By this point I heard Vastra come up the stairs and move into the spare room watching me with my sword.

"You weren't in the kitchen?" Vastra said leaning on the frame of the door looking slightly tired (most likely due to another case cracked).

"No im not" I replied, with a sarcastic tone, continuing with my work

Vastra looked down at the floor for a second and then looked back up at me "I see you are mad at me" she said studying my behaviour and movement

"How did you guess? Because you genuinely care or because you monitored my heart rate or because you can smell it in the air" I said between breaths launching myself forward and backwards at the target with my sword.

"We Silurians have the ability to measure he-"

"Yes I know you Silurians can do everything we apes can't" interrupting Vastra

Vastra paced forward into the room. "Jenny put down the sword" she said softly

"Why am I in danger of cutting myself or breaking a nail?"

I was without a doubt still mad at Vastra for making feel trapped and imprisoned when I could be outside helping her with important cases and fighting for the greater good as she used to say.

"Because I want to talk to you" she said gently.

I looked up at her and knew she could tell that I was actually upset and I wasn't just in one of my "moods" as she liked to call them. I rested the sword on the training dummy that was in need of repair after the wrath it took from me.

Vastra walked up to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Tell me what's wrong Jenny" she said looking down at me and moving the hair out of my eyes that fell astray from the bun my hair was tied back in.

I stayed still, letting her play with my hair as she seemed so fascinated in it and said "you treat me like a child, you think im incapable of protecting myself and apparently I think sword fighting is a game" I took a deep breath in trying not to over react and get angry again. "You know my past ma'am, I've lived on the streets before and know 'ow to look after myself, that's what I've done my 'hole life. My ma and pa were completely different people when they turned to alcohol; I'm strong enough to help you!" I said almost blowing the house down.

Vastra tucked my hair over my ear and touched my cheek with her hand (still wearing her gloves) "I'm fully aware that you can protect yourself Jenny and I know your past has proved difficult to you but that has made you the person you are now" she said still stroking my cheek. "you do know that it isn't necessary for you to call me ma'am, you are certainly more important than a housemaid now".

I looked down "am I?" I mumbled to myself.

"Jenny?" Vastra said, putting her hand on my chin making me raise my head (why do I keep forgetting that she can hear everything I say?)

"It's just, you're never here anymore, we only see each other for minutes each day and then you won't let me come with you when you do go out. I feel like… like im holding on to something that won't last. I love you Vastra and I do everything I can to show it but every time I try you push me away. You don't even trust me enough to go out and help you, you just think I'm the weak link" I said trying to hold back the tears but it was inevitable that this conversation was going to make me cry.

Vastra wasn't great at reading human emotions but she had improved over the past months due to many books on human emotions and she knew that tears weren't good.

"Jenny, I'm out every day because I have to rid this place of treacherous people who think they can get away with the way they live, and it isn't a quick job. Solving a case can take days if not weeks to crack and even then there will always be another case round the corner. Jenny before I met you I despised every mammal that lived and breathed on this earth. When I met you, you changed my view on the society of ap- humans (remembering that the word ape offended me) and made me realise that there still is hope for them and hope for me".

Vastra took her hand away from my cheek and started pacing round the room. "I hated the human race for killing my sisters and thought revenge was the only way to avenge their deaths. You changed my way of thinking and my anger for them turned into forgiveness and discovered that I should give humans a second chance, you accepting me for who I am and gave me a chance when you could have easily run".

Vastra then came up to me after finishing speaking and said "and as for me pushing you away, I don't intend to. Im not familiar with relationships, especially with a female and a human, I haven't experienced these feelings I get when I'm around you and you are certainly not the weak link. You hold me together Jenny and keep me strong when I think I am weak".

Vastra looked at me and gave me a small smile whilst rubbing away my tears. I didn't know what to say now. Nothing could compare to that speech she just gave. I mean she is probably breaking stacks of Silurian rules to be with me and yet she doesn't care. I wrapped my arms round Vastra still crying my eyes out and spluttered out the word "sorry" about five times in row still clinging onto Vastra's waist.

"What forever for?" I heard Vastra say.

"Everything" I said with tears still coming down my face. Whatever I said I couldn't stop crying and Vastra was becoming confused by this from the look on her face, but she didn't say anything just carried on holding me stroking my hair with one hand whilst saying "oh Jenny you have nothing to be sorry for" and kissed the top my hair and rested her head on mine.

"Now what do you say we get some sword practice in before morning. If you are coming on these cases with me you need to be fully prepared for all scenarios"

I hugged her tight and laughed wiping away the last of my tears and nodded as she got her sword and I got mine.

I guess she could trust me after all…..