Disclaimer:This is a work offiction, a series of images from my owntwisted mind, a story that JK would probably flinch indisgustat if she were ever to set eyes on it.I am sick, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for thegrotesque thoughts and plotsthat ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend.

This is SLASH, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivablelove.

Hey guys I just wanted to remind you all that this fanfic specifically follows the BOOK ad not the movies. Buuuut I am changing some things but the plot will still be the exact same (just add the slash and make it in Remus' POV) Just so y'all know =) HAPPY READIN'

The Last Marauder
Chapter Ten

Of Train Rides and Broken Dreams

Thirteen years later Remus Lupin was in Kings Cross waiting to get onto the Hogwarts Express, as he had taken the job as a teacher at the school. Defense Against the Dark Arts. It almost made him laugh, he was the dark arts. He would be teaching children how to deal with the likes of him. It truly was laughable.

He stood leaning against a pillar drinking soda from a bottle, tiredly scanning the Daily Prophet, staying clear of the section on Sirius Black of course. It was then that he was bumped into, This luggage tumbled over and he nearly dropped his bottle but caught it in time, the girl who had run into him turned with an apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry, are you alright?" She picked his luggage up and stood it straight. He noted her red hair, freckles and gangly body in too-small clothing that had been thrice patched up. She must be a Weasley.

"I'm quite alright, don't worry about it," he nodded to her and she smiled timidly.

"Ginny come on dear we're waiting," Remus recognized Molly Weasley and he raised his hand in acknowledgment. She waved back and the girl ran along to her mother.

That's when he saw James Potter.

No, not James, Harry.

A spitting image of his father, he stood with the rest of the Weasleys. Arthur Weasley seemed to be sticking close him, which brought Remus some relief, for it was true that the boy was in danger, or so everyone thought, now that Sirius was once again at large.

Molly hugged Harry twice and Remus smiled at his blush. He looked strong enough, and it was obvious he had close friends in the Wizarding World, and the Weasleys were as good as any if Remus had to say so himself, and there was no doubt that they certainly knew how to handle children. He chuckled to himself remembering the conversation that he had had with Sirius and the Potters when Lily had first announced her pregnancy.

When Mr. Weasley pulled Harry away for a bit to talk to him Remus decided it a good a time as any to get on the train. He picked an empty compartment at the end of the train and closed the door. He sighed softly and yawned, not realizing until only then how tired he was. He had spent the night at the Leaky Cauldron as he had done many nights before, it was almost like he was saying good-bye to it. For the year at least.

With one last yawn, he pulled his coat up high and closed his eyes to fall asleep.

He woke up to a dark train and a bunch of arguing teenagers.

"Not here! I'm here!" One male voice said.

"Ouch!" Another boy.

Lupin, thoroughly confused as to what was going on, sat up straight and hissed, "Quiet!" in a sleep ridden voice.

He stood slowly, lifting his want to light a small, heatless, fire in the palm of his hand. He illuminated the face of all the children. He caught the faces of the Weasley girl, Ginny, a boy he recognized as Neville Longbottom, a boy who was probably also a Weasley, a girl with bushy brown hair who mouthed the name of the smell I had used for the flames, and finally on the very end was Harry Potter, looking up at me in amazement with none other than Lily's emerald green eyes. For a moment he remained immobilized, taken in by the memories that came over him. His eyes flashed to the scar on the boys forehead, and he swallowed hard remembering what Sirius had done.

He shook his head, needing to keep going and figure out why it had suddenly become so dark and cold. "Stay where you are," and he reached for the compartment door handle, only to have it slide open before he could touch it.

He nearly cursed allowed when it opened to reveal a Dementer. It reached out a hand and sucked in. Remus heard a body slump to the floor behind him followed by a girl's frightened voice, "Harry!"

Remus was quick to react, pulling out his wand, "None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go," the hooded figure didn't move, and so as his last resort he says in a firm, even tone, "Expecto Patronum!" A burst of light, a big ghostly dog, and the Dementer is gone.

The lights came back on he turns around to find Harry twitching on the floor. "Harry," the girl gasps falling to the floor beside him.

The male Weasley gets down too, and slaps his face, "Harry! Harry! Are you alright?"

His green eyes fluttered open, "Wh-what?"

His friends help him back into his seat, and he started talking about a woman screaming. Remus' looks away, knowing he's speaking of his beloved mother, who had died right in front of him. He remembered the chocolate bar that he had shoved in his pocket when he heard about the roaming Dementers. He broke a piece off of the huge chunk, and the kids all jumped to look at him. "Here. Eat it. It'll help."

Harry took the piece, and then asked about the dementers. Did he not know that they were only there for his protection? To protect him from Sirius Black? No, Lupin thought, I suppose the ministry wouldn't tell him about that. He probably doesn't even know who Sirius Black is. I suppose it's better that way.

"Dementers of Azkaban," he replied putting away his chocolate. The kids stared at him and he hoped that this wasn't a preview of what his classes were going to be like. He quickly excused himself, and left the compartment, taking in a deep breath once he was in the corridor.

He leaned against a wall not knowing what had come over him. He just felt something swell in his chest and he felt like he had to get away from the boy. He had known that he would be seeing Harry at school; it was something he had been looking forward too. He hoped that it would chase the suicidal thoughts away. But just seeing those green eyes, hearing about sweet, sweet Lily's screams, it made him hurt all over and he didn't know if he would be able to stand it, just thinking of what his lover had done to his friends… Sirius…

A dry sob wracked him hard but he pulled himself together as he noticed kids were starting to come from there compartments, confused as to what was going on.

"Alright, get back to your seats, nothing to worry about," he said and they all gave him a confused look but went anyways.

He stood straight and as the train started to move again he turned back to the compartment where Harry and his friends were sitting in a tense silence. Harry looked at him when he enter and Lupin put on a small smile. "You know I haven't poisoned that chocolate Harry," Remus motions to it and he nods, taking a small bite. Moony chided himself for saying his name before he actually told it to the teacher, but then again… Remus suspected he's used to it by now.

The rest of the ride uneventful as we sat in silence, the only noise was the brown haired girl, whose name he had learned to be Hermione, flipping a page in the book she was reading. He was glad that it had turned out like this; he was having trouble keeping his emotions in tact as it was. And when the train came to a stop he didn't even say good-bye to the departing children, instead he followed them out and watched as they ran to greet Hagrid on the platform.

Lupin took note of the way the Malfoy boy sneered at his clothes on the carriages, he and his friends laughed at his attire. Remus had a feeling he was going to have some problems with that child in the future. He had better keep an eye on him just in case.

Remus rushed into the castle, hoping to be at his table before the opening ceremony, but by the time he was able to go to his bedroom to write a quick letter to Professor McGonagall about what had happened to Harry on the train, and get back to the great hall, the first years were already sitting at their respective tables and Dumbledore had started his speech for that year, though he noted that he wasn't the only one as Harry, Hermione and Professor McGonagall were also all only just taking their seats.

Dumbledore was talking about the dementers, warning the children that they weren't fooled by anything or anyone. Remus almost snorted up the pumpkin juice he had taken a sip of. Leave it to Sirius Black to prove Albus Dumbledore wrong. Then his name was being announced and he received a rather pathetic applause from the students to which he merely smiled and nodded, Hagrid's announcement and then the feast began. Remus found himself watching the young Potter the whole time, though it upset him that the troublesome Malfoy kid was making fun of him, it seemed that Harry could stand up for himself, as in no time he and his friends were laughing about something else. Remus was glad that the boy had found happiness with all the turmoil in his life. He knew that it was something he himself could never really do.

When the feast was over and he was dismissed he started for bed when he was stopped by Severus Snape in an empty corridor. "Lupin," he said.

"Severus," he replied with a nod.

He thrust a bottle of what could only be wolf's bane at me and Remus looked at it with a grimace, not wanting to be near the stuff, let alone think of why he had to be using it in the first place. "Dumbledore's one condition is that you must always take this. Otherwise you, for a lack of better words, will be sacked, you remember the dosage correct?"

Remus nodded, "Yes, of course. Thank you… Professor," he smiled at that, for whatever reason he hoped that it was enough to get through the school year with Severus being at least civil to one another. He didn't see why it would have to be any different; it had been a long time since they had played a prank of him.

Snape did not smile back.

Shocker.

Instead he walked past Remus, down the corridor, the opposite way. He just proceeded to his bedroom where he found another daily prophet sitting on his desk. His lover's senseless face, with the huge mad smile, and gaping screams on the front cover. He touched the man's brow, and the picture went up to try and bite off his finger. He didn't move it though and the picture silently screamed at him. "Sirius…" he whispered, anger still rising in him every time he said the name. The anger at what he had done to their friends and their poor son was still too much. He could barely handle the emotions he was feeling in that moment. Anger, passion, love, rage, fury…love.

He pulled his finger away from the malicious picture, crumpled it up and threw it into his fireplace. Then he himself started screaming, only not so silently. He was seriously considering trying that jump from the covered bridge when his nerves finally settled and he was able to lie down on his bed and breathe properly.

"Sirius…" he whispered again, before falling fast asleep.

His haunting dreams were full of Sirius Black, screaming face, the Weasley's loving family, James Potter's face and Lily Potter's sparkling green eyes. The only thing that brought him redemption in the dream was the little faceless, eyeless boy with the lightening shaped scar of his forehead.

He woke up bright and early. For once he hadn't woken up in fits from nightmares all night.