The Hard Way
Chapter Ten- Closure Part 1
Zuko woke up early just as he normally did, ready to do what he planned out last night. Today was the day of the festival, and he would announce he would not be going.
This could go one of two ways. Katara would either be thankful he would not be going and attend it with everyone, or she would make some excuse, not go to the festival, and spend the day with him. And in all honestly, he didn't know which one she would chose to do.
If she chose to go to the festival, he told himself he would back away and leave her be with her new husband and life. He would admit to himself that it wasn't meant to be and that she was happy.
He took a deep breath as he finished dressing and went down to the dining hall.
"Are you feeling alright?" Aang asked Katara once she emerged from the bathroom.
"I didn't get much sleep last night." She smiled sadly. "That's all." Aang quickly took her hand and lead her over to the bed to have her sit down.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked. "If there was, you'd tell me, wouldn't you?" He noticed she had a hard time looking him in the eye.
"I'm fine, Aang, really." She lied. "I'm just stressed being around Zuko again and with getting sick there's added stress. I think once we get out of here and settle down somewhere for awhile, everything will be back to normal." She told him.
"Alright then how about we leave tomorrow?" He offered. Katara seemed to get an instant headache at his words. One part of her really wanted to leave, wanted to leave everything here behind her. But the other part wanted to stay forever. She knew that would never work out though. She knew the only way to heal this was to leave.
"That sounds good." She finally said. "Thanks Aang." She gave him a sweet kiss and stood up. "Let's go down and get something to eat. I'm sure Sokka's already complaining that we're not there yet." She laughed slightly as did Aang. He took her hand and lead her down to breakfast.
When they got there, Sokka was, as always, first to inform them how late they were. They both just shook their heads and sat down in the same spot they always did as food was served.
Zuko noted that Katara made very little eye contact with him from across the table. He wasn't too surprised and made little contact himself. He kept his focus on his food, just waiting for the festival to be brought up. He could feel his uncle ready to announce it and take tally of who was going and it made his heart beat faster in his chest.
"Who plans on coming with me to the festival today?" Iroh asked as soon as there was an opening. Zuko held his fork right where it was, right above his plate, and looked up carefully.
"You can count us in." Suki was the first to tell him.
"Us? Where did the 'us' come from?" Sokka asked. "What if I want to stay here?"
"You're going." Suki said sternly. He only looked away mumbling a few things. She smiled and continued to eat, listening to hear who else would be going.
"I suppose I'll go too." Toph said shrugging. "It'll give me something to do I guess." Iroh nodded cheerfully.
"Zuko, will you be joining us?" His uncle asked. Zuko waited a moment, waited for Katara to look at him. When she did, she was looking at him like it was a big question, a life changing question. He looked her in the eye as he answered.
"I think I'll stay here. Festivals have never really been in my field of interest." He said somewhat slowly.
"You're loss nephew." Iroh shrugged. He hadn't really expected his nephew to join them. "Well, what about you two?" He asked Aang and Katara.
Katara felt the whole world pause. Aang looked to her to see if she wanted to go, as did everyone else. Everyone at the table looked at her innocently just waiting to see if she was feeling well enough to join them. They gazed at her in a friendly matter that would have been comfortable if it was only them.
The servants in the room stopped what they were doing, obviously interested in the situation. They probably knew about everything that had gone on during their stay here. She wouldn't be surprised if they knew she wasn't sick and that she had spent a day talking to Zuko. They looked at each other as well as her.
Then she realized how Zuko was looking at her. He held a firm gaze with a face that told her this was her decision; spend the day with him, or spend it with them. It didn't feel as threatening as it sounded though. His stare was gentle in a way but still made her a little afraid.
Her mind told her to not even think about staying here. It told her to go to the festival with her husband and her friends. Her body didn't seem to agree though. Her heart was pounding, getting excited rather than nervous. Butterflies were let loose in her stomach, fluttering up to her chest when she held his eyes with her own. Her mouth opened to say what her mind told her not to.
"I didn't get much sleep last night," She started, breaking the silence. "And I don't think I'm feeling up to it." She looked at Zuko the entire time and her voice seemed to hold a soft hidden promise only he would pick up on.
As the words fell from her lips, Zuko's face immediately softened just the slightest. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders when in fact the weight was being put on. He couldn't help but feel a happy feeling course through him. A smile tempted the corner of his lips but he held it back the best he could as his foot moved under the table.
Only two people seemed to pick up on what was happening. Toph could feel Zuko's foot gently rub Katara's leg under the table as she talked to Aang, convincing him to go to the festival without her. Toph could also feel both Zuko's and Katara's hearts beat faster as Katara's blood rushed to her neck and face in a somewhat happy blush. Overall, Toph shook her head, knowing this couldn't end well.
Iroh was the other one to sense what was going on. He seemed to be the only one who saw the look they held over the conversation. He watched his nephew hold back a smile and felt the tension no one else did. For the first time in a long time, Iroh's smile fell and his heart filled with a deep sadness. He loved both Zuko and Katara, and at one time had wanted them together, but now…Now was a different time for both of them.
After breakfast, Iroh pulled Zuko away from everyone as they went to get ready. He took him to a large open and empty room. He had double checked to make sure there were no servants around either. Then he just stood there and looked at his nephew.
"What, Uncle?" He asked irritated. Zuko already knew where this would be going and he didn't need it.
"I once wished for you and Katara to be together," He paused. "Under different circumstances."
"I know that. So did I." He answered plainly, hoping to leave soon. "What is your point?"
"You know what my point is." Iroh told me, somewhat disappointed. "You both have important matters to consider. Don't make a mistake."
"Katara's not a mistake." Zuko almost snapped at his uncle. He didn't like anyone saying things like that about her.
"You misunderstand, nephew." Iroh shook his head and held his hands out. "She would not be the mistake, nor you for that matter." Zuko paused to try to understand what his uncle was telling him.
"What are you saying? Why don't you tell me without trying to sound wise?"
"Zuko," He paused again and approached him. "Just think about what you are trying to do."
"You don't think I haven't?" Zuko yelled. "I have gone over everything that could possibly happen over and over again in my mind!" He pointed a finger at his chest. "I'm not a complete moron! This is what I want to do!" Iroh nodded sadly.
"I just don't want either of you two to get hurt." He mentioned before leaving the room. Zuko was left alone in an empty room, angry.
After everyone had left, Katara heard a knock at her door. She stood up off of her bed and slowly walked to the door. She opened it somewhat slowly and nervously. She wasn't surprised when she found Zuko standing there but her heart still sped up.
"Hey." She greeted leaning up against the open door.
"I thought we'd go out to the garden today." He said stepping aside waiting for her to step out. When she didn't, he gave her a confused look.
"I'm supposed to be sick remember? Sick as in sleeping. Not walking around with you." She scolded him slightly but all he did was chuckle.
"Everyone left for the festival and I'm pretty sure the servants have caught on by now." He extended his hand for her to take, as if he were helping her off an ostrich-horse.
"We shouldn't be doing this." She shook her head and refused to take his hand just yet.
"We shouldn't be talking?" He cocked his head to the right and smirked just slightly.
"You know that's not all we're doing. We're lying. We're-"
"You're lying." Zuko corrected her cutting her off. "I don't think I've lied yet, have I?" Katara bit her lower lip and looked away. "We're just going to talk."
"Closure?" She questioned.
"Sure, just for closure." He told her not quite believing it. She looked back up at him and nodded, obviously forcing herself to believe it. She eagerly put her hand in his and he walked her out of her room.
When they got out to the garden, they weren't hand-in-hand but they were walking a little close. Their arms were brushing every few steps, making it very difficult for Katara to trick herself into thinking they were just getting closure.
"So what are your plans after we leave?" Katara asked as they approached a bench.
"Same thing I did while you weren't here I suppose." He answered sitting down, silently telling her to do the same, and she did.
"What was that?" She kept questioning, relaxing onto the bench.
"Nothing really. Political matters, boring things I don't want to do." She laughed slightly. "Uncle will probably send away for suitors for me. No doubt I will have to marry at some point." He sighed unhappily.
"That can't be much fun." She agreed with him. "You never did want to get married." She said regretfully. Zuko turned to look at her, surprised and hurt, as his hand instinctively went to his pocket. Katara looked away and cleared her throat uncomfortably.
"It's not a matter of not wanting to marry," He said in a low voice, slowly inching towards her. "But a matter of who I want," He whispered in her ear, his lips brushing against her skin. "And can't have." He finished, gently taking her earlobe between his teeth and gently pulling away, the soft skin, falling from his grip. He couldn't help but smirk as he watched her desperately try to suppress a moan.
With the thought of closure still in her mind, Katara decided it would be best if she ignored that he ever did that and changed the subject as quick as she could.
"So how has Iroh been? I haven't had the chance to really talk to him." She shifted so she moved away from his body, which was currently too close.
"He's been the same. He's still drinking tea, trying to give wise advice." Zuko answered, smirk still planted on his lips. "Speaking of him," Zuko said, remembering the gift he was to give her. "Come up to my room. His gift is still sitting up there." He stood and motioned for her to follow him.
Katara stood up and followed him into the palace. When she walked in, she saw a few servants doing their normal chores around the palace. They all seemed to stop and look at her, smiling. They all knew. Katara's pace slowed as they continued to watch her. Zuko saw this and shook his head before turning around to grab her hand to get her walking again.
As they walked, Zuko held onto her hand, not letting go when the servants looked and whispered between themselves. Katara had almost forgotten what it was like to hold hands with him. She knew it had never been something he liked to do but he did it anyways, just because he knew she liked it. His hands were always warm and most of the time calloused and rough. They held onto her small hand as if it were something fragile yet held it firmly in some way. He used to rub his thumb up and down her own, making her smile while small shivers trailed behind wherever his thumb ran.
A blush had formed on her face by the time they reached his room. As he stopped to unlock his door, she took a moment to look around. More servants were whispering among themselves. She realized that the situation couldn't look good; the supposedly sick woman with a husband holding hands with her past boyfriend, about to go into said past boyfriend's room while said husband is out.
"Rumors are getting started." She muttered to herself, worrying a little.
"Don't worry about them." Zuko told her obviously hearing her. "They keep to themselves. They know better than to spread the word about anything that's happened." He stepped aside and opened the door, allowing her to enter first.
As she walked in, she realized that he hadn't changed a thing since she was last there. It was still decorated with darker colors, mainly red. His rather large bed with the fire symbol carved into the headboard was in the middle of the room and still held red satin sheets. His meditation table still sat to the side with candles placed on it. His wardrobe was on the opposite side, as was a picture he said his uncle had given him. His broad swords and Blue Spirit mask hung on the wall on the right side of his bed. She had to smile at the out-of-place items.
"Here it is." Zuko said breaking her gaze as he handed her a rectangular box. It wasn't large but it wasn't small either. She could already tell it held some kind of clothing. "Aren't you going to open it?" He asked looking down, almost nervously, at it.
She slowly took off the lid of the box and confirmed it was clothing. She recognized the fabric and design immediately. She looked up cautiously at Zuko to find he had a small smile on. She walked quickly to the bed and placed the box on it. She took out the very familiar dress and held it against herself in awe.
"This wasn't from your uncle." She told him spinning around.
"No. It wasn't." He admitted as he walked up to her. Just holding it against herself, she looked beautiful. "It's the same one, you know." He put his hands on her waist to stop her from spinning anymore. "I didn't have to go out and by a new one."
"You kept it?" She asked with a soft face and a smile on her lips. When he nodded, she felt a warm sensation spread all over her and made her shiver slightly. "Wow." She would have never imagined he would keep a dress she once wore, even if it was special to her. The fact that he did, meant something to her. She felt his hands move to her arms and felt him lean in slightly.
"Want to go put it on?" He asked in a low, almost whispering voice. She didn't even think before she nodded. He lifted his head to motion behind her where the bathroom door was. She immediately broke from his arms and went into the bathroom.
Katara knew it probably wasn't a good idea but it was her all-time favorite dress and it was special to her. Zuko had bought it especially for her as a birthday present and it was extremely hard to find. The only time she'd actually seen an identical dress was in the shop earlier in their stay. But the reason she loved it so much, wasn't because of its beauty or rarity, but because when Zuko had given it to her, it was the first time he'd told her he loved her.
"You look beautiful." Zuko whispered in her ear as she stepped out of the bathroom wearing her new gift. He watched as she blushed and stepped out closer to him.
"Thank you." She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug. In return, his arms moved around her waist pulling her closer to him. His lips found her neck and started trailing kisses along her throat and jaw.
As soon as she felt his hands run up and down her sides over the velvet, she took his face in her hands and pulled his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. Her lips moved over his as he followed her lead. There was no need to ask for entrance as her tongue probed into his welcoming mouth. He pulled away for air shortly after and rested his forehead on hers, catching his breath. He rested his hands back on the velvet that clung to her sides and hers remained on his face.
"God I love you." He whispered as he placed another kiss on her lips. Katara felt the air get caught in her chest and words refuse to form. She smiled widely and sighed happily as she pulled him into another deep embrace.
"I love you too." She told him, even though he already knew and she had told him before. As they pulled away she still smiled and he held her gaze, a smile of his own tempting him. "We should probably go down now." She told him, knowing the guests would be expecting the Fire Lord and his date to show up shortly.
She couldn't help but keep smiling the rest of the night.
To most people, the clothing they were wearing at the time someone told them they loved you, wouldn't matter. Katara remembered everything about the moment, and what she wore seemed important. She didn't really know why.
Zuko turned to face the door when he heard it open. He watched as Katara walked out, hair down and smiling at him with her hands running down her sides to rest on her hips. She looked just as amazing as she did years ago, which didn't really surprise him at all.
"Feels just like old times." Katara sighed, missing those times. "Too bad it isn't." She said looking down at herself.
"Come here." He told her holding out his hand for her to take. She slowly walked up to him and took gently put her hand in his. His fingers wrapped around her skin and turned her around so her back was facing her. He put his hands on her shoulders and ran them down her back, smoothing out some of the wrinkles that had formed over time. "Miss old times?" He asked as he continued to run his hands down her back, slowly going lower. "Miss me?"
Katara closed her eyes and allowed herself to sink back into the old times, when this would have been okay. She felt his hands move from her lower back, to her arms. His fingertips slowly traced up and down her bare arms, making goosebumps appears as she shivered. She opened her eyes and slowly turned to face him, realizing she was closer than she thought.
His fingers still hovered above her arms and she could feel her heart speed up while heat flowed through her entire body.
"Yes I miss you, but-" She was cut off when one of his fingers pressed itself to her lips.
"Just let me show you, what you never saw." He said slowly as he removed his finger and reached into his pocket. Katara looked up into his golden eyes and suddenly forgot everything.
She forgot that she was married, that she wasn't supposed to be here, forgot the pain that this would put her through in the end. She just knew how she felt, and that she was still in love with him.
"Zuko…" She breathed out, making him forget what he was reaching for. Her hands reached up and rested on her shoulders, her thumbs brushing his neck. They were silent for a moment before it happened.
They stood there, looking into each other's eyes, looking for answers they knew they wouldn't find. Their breathing slowly got heavier as the tension rose between them. The feeling of their skin touching sent electric sparks through their bodies.
And then it happened. The moment they both secretly wanted for years finally happened and nothing else seemed to matter.
Zuko brought his lips down onto her quickly but unsurprisingly. Her hands immediately wrapped all the way around his neck and pulled him closer to her. Eyes closed, with bodies melting into each other, they kissed for the first time in years.
Zuko didn't even need to try to deepen the kiss like he wanted to, she did it for him. She pushed her tongue into his mouth, tasting what she secretly longed for. She pressed herself against him in the right ways and touched him in the places she knew he liked. She took control and he loved it.
He continued to kiss her as he bent his legs slightly to hook his hands under her knees and lift her up. He wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked with her in his arms over to his bed. He threw her down, breaking the kiss for a few moments.
Katara opened her eyes to see Zuko above her, his eyes glazed over with lust. She imagined hers were the same way. She felt his warm breath on her lips and she lifted her head up to kiss him again. She pulled him down so he layed on top of her and she wrapped one of her legs around his. His hands roamed over her entire body and his lips left hers, traveling down her jaw line and to her neck.
She couldn't help the moan that came from her lips as he nibbled slightly at her neck and shoulder. Her hand went to his hair, playing with it slightly.
"God I still love you." Zuko whispered into her neck between kisses.
Katara's eyes snapped open, suddenly clear.
"Zuko." She called in a little bit of a panic. "Zuko stop." He immediately pulled away and lifted his weight off of her. "I…We… Stop." She said as she sat up, pushing him off her completely. She fixed her dress which had ridden up to her hips, exposing her. "I have to go." She managed as she ran out of his room, without grabbing her own clothes.
Zuko licked his lips, ignoring the guilty trying to get through to him. He fell back onto his bed, closing his eyes and still tasting her in his mouth. The tension still hung in his room and he breathed it in heavily, feeling a bit unsatisfied.
Katara ran into her room, shutting and locking the door, as if she was afraid Zuko would follow her. Her hands covered her face and she sobbed and backed up to her bed. She sat down on it and tried to think through everything.
She rocked slowly trying to make herself feel better, trying to make herself feel like she was a little girl in the arms of her mother, who could tell her what to do.
She body still burned from his touch and her mouth could still feel his tongue and taste him. She wanted him so badly.
And she knew that she shouldn't- No. She couldn't have him.
Alright, I was doing good, then writer's block attacked yet again! So I want reviews people! I don't really feel like I described the tension or passion as I should have, but with writer's block, I don't know how to fix it. So I plan to in the next chapter... yes. There is more to come. So please review!