Disclaimer: Duh.
Author's Note: I love you! That is all.
William flounced into the kitchen early the next morning, his face almost splitting in two with the most knowing and infuriating smirk Hermione had ever seen; she and Teddy exchanged a look and they both cringed and focused on their Golden Nuggets cereal.
"We're all very proud," William said, and she and Teddy both shuddered and cringed with embarrassment. She wanted to curl up and die.
First Narcissa Malfoy had walked in on her and Draco yesterday afternoon, and then of course Phaedra had her lady-friends over for afternoon-tea yesterday when she got back home, and of course, Mrs Malfoy was always the first on her guest-list, and Hermione had been walking past the drawing-room, minding her own business, setting the following events into motion:
"Phaedra, my darling, you will never believe what I walked in on earlier this afternoon," a vaguely familiar voice said delightedly, and Hermione stopped, cringed, and ducked away from the open double-doors just as the ladies inside the drawing-room hushed with baited breath for Narcissa Malfoy's news.
"I would only be guessing," Phaedra said dryly.
"Your daughter and my son were in Draco's bedroom," Mrs Malfoy giggled.
"Having sex?"
"No, just kissing. I think if I hadn't interrupted them, though, they may have…" She left the sentence hanging, leaving her mother's friends to gossip about Hermione's virtue and "what a rogue" that "handsome boy" was.
"I WOULD NOT!" Hermione yelped indignantly, and clapped a hand over her mouth, realizing she'd been found out. Shit, she thought, and darted up the staircase, really hoping none of the women were wearing sensible shoes to reach the drawing-room doors before she reached the safety of the gallery.
It would have been alright, bearable, even, that her mother knew she'd been caught making out with Draco Malfoy in his bedroom when he was home-alone, had not Phaedra accepted the dinner-invitation to the Malfoys, which been issued after the Malfoys had come to the Notts for dinner.
"What are you going to wear tonight?" Phaedra asked, gliding into Hermione's dressing-room just as Hermione was going through the racks of new clothing Phaedra had bought her, looking for something to wear. "What do you think Draco would like to see you in?" Cellophane, Hermione thought, smirking at the thought. Or hot-fudge sauce.
In the end, Hermione wore little black dress that hung loosely down her figure, but enough to define it. It had a halter neckline that she loved, and she easily paired it with a pair of comfortable broken-in green heals. She might need to make a quick getaway should Lucius Malfoy start cursing her. At least Bellatrix isn't there anymore, Hermione thought. That was a plus.
Another plus was the fact that Teddy already had plans with Blaise Zabini that evening, but on the other hand that meant the two of them—she and Draco—alone, together, was cause of great suspicion in their respective mothers, but their fathers were clueless and their wives did nothing to enlighten them. Hermione and Draco both had to endure their mothers' indulgent, knowing smirks in the drawing-room, which for Hermione was more torturous than her parents knew, because they didn't know what had happened to her in this room at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange.
"So why didn't you go to that party at Blaise Zabini's house?" Hermione asked quietly. Even though the room was very big, and they were sitting far away from their parents, sound seemed to carry further in here than in normal rooms.
"Mm…didn't think they'd want me there," Draco said, shrugging uncomfortably. "I'm not very popular with the old crowd these days."
"Why? Because you grew a conscience?" Hermione teased. "How'd you know they wouldn't like you there if you never went?" Draco rolled his eyes. Yeah, we're going to do this again, Hermione smirked. "The anticipation of death is much worse than death itself."
"So you and I both agree that the Slytherins are going to kill me," Draco frowned thoughtfully. "That's good to know, I suppose." Hermione laughed softly. "I'm surprised Theo went to that party. He never usually associates with anyone in our year."
"Keep your own company and you'll always have a favorable reply," Hermione smirked, and Draco laughed. She didn't like the attention she was getting from their mothers, and apparently it was making Draco nervous too.
"Do you want to go and hide in the library?" Draco asked quietly, his head lolling against the back of their sofa as Hermione tried to tune out both the indignant exclamations of her father arguing politics with Mr. Malfoy and Mrs. Malfoy's floaty, eloquent little giggles as their mothers shot them knowing looks.
"Absolutely," Hermione said hurriedly, and making the excuse of going to show Hermione the library, Draco led her out of the drawing-room and they both let out great sighs of relief in the quiet of the marble hallway. Draco indicated a side-passage and Hermione followed him down it, examining a few of the portraits along the way, whilst Draco commented on the house and the antiques that interested her.
"Here, wait—" Draco said, and he put his hand over her eyes. Hermione grabbed his hand, jumping.
"What're you—?"
"Shh. It's a surprise," Draco said, and Hermione could tell by the playful lilt in his voice that he was smiling. She heard a door click and Draco's other hand fluttered to her waist, his body pressed close against her back, and he guided her through the door she couldn't see. When he released her eyesight, Hermione stared, open-mouthed. The library was three-stories with a winding cast-iron spiral staircases and galleries on each level, a candlelit seating-area in the middle of the floor and a glorious marble fireplace that washed warmth into the room and kept the bite of chill away from the books.
But his literary collection wasn't what Draco wanted to talk about, and actually Hermione had known he didn't want to talk the minute she'd shown up with a glorious eyeful of cleavage on display and he couldn't stop shooting intense, covetous glances at her all through dinner. 'Mad-dogging,' Dean Thomas called it.
"Now, where were we when we were so rudely interrupted?" Draco asked, gently tugging on her earlobe with his teeth, wrapping his arms loosely around her waist, resting his hands on her stomach. Hermione laughed breathlessly and glanced over her shoulder; Draco smirked gently and placed a kiss on her cheek. She twisted in his arms, so his hands ended up on her butt and she rested hers on his shoulders, and he gently navigated her behind one of the aisles so they were hidden from the door.
"Draco, we shouldn't," Hermione gasped softly, as Draco gently placed his lips on her neck and started sucking that point right beneath her ear that made her knees wobble and quake, his hand smoothing the fabric of her dress up from her waist, and her heartbeat was hammering in her chest as Draco's warm fingertips traced the neckline of her dress. She cradled his face in her hands and smiled gently; to hell with Lucius, and Draco gave her a roguish grin before capturing her lips in the most passionate, heated kiss she'd ever experienced in her life. She couldn't breathe and her mind was going blank, white hot with energy, and she gasped, uncertain how to feel when Draco slipped his hand under the fabric of her dress and her bra and cupped her breast.
"Your father will kill me," Hermione laughed breathlessly, placing her hand atop Draco's, capturing Draco's lips, slipping her tongue into his mouth and moaning as he gently squeezed her breast and pressed her against the bookcase, pressing his body against hers so all she could feel, see, smell, was Draco.
"At least you would die a very happy girl," Draco smirked, his lips plump and bruised from kissing.
"You cocky little—mm," Hermione moaned, allowing him access with his tongue, as his hand gently massaged her breast. With kissing, she realized, he only had to do it once to have enough confidence to do it expertly a hundred times over again. She wasn't complaining.
"Draco, Miss Granger, where are—what on earth are you doing?" Hermione gasped and Draco jumped, and they both stared with wide eyes, like baby deer witnessing the hunter shooting their mother-doe dead, as Mr. Malfoy gaped at them, horrified. He's still groping you, Hermione thought, glancing down at the same time as both Malfoy men did. Draco whipped his hand out of her dress and Hermione righted her neckline, feeling extremely hot under the collar. She was sure Lucius could see her lips pulsing from Draco's kisses.
"I would've thought that was quite obvious," said another voice, and William appeared, smirking smugly, but with the air of his friend having discovered Flobberworms wiggled about to move.
"Hermione, Draco!" called a lyrical voice, and Draco and Hermione both cringed visibly in humiliation as their mothers entered the library after their husbands.
"Er…we're just about to leave, Hermione," Phaedra said gently, and by the way her lips were twitching, Hermione could tell she was fighting the impulse to burst out laughing. "Say goodbye to Draco."
And with that the parents left.
Just left the room, as if nothing had happened, as if they hadn't caught Draco groping their dinner-guest in the darkened library.
"I think we should abstain from sex until they're all dead," Draco mused, and Hermione agreed with a hollow laugh. She was absolutely mortified, and apparently Draco was vibrating on the same wavelength; would they ever get through a make-out session without either of four parents walking in on them?
"They'd rise from the grave en masse," she said in a low voice. She glanced at Draco. He regarded her silently for a few seconds, cast a glance at the closed library door and Hermione gasped as he jumped her again and tried not to laugh out-loud in surprise, but extremely pleased, when he started kissing the life out of her. A few minutes later, and Draco gently pressed his lips against hers and tugged on her lower-lip with his teeth, nudging her nose affectionately with his, staring into her eyes.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" he whispered, stroking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and trailing the tips of his clever fingers down her throat and over her breast, making her shiver deliciously.
"I… I don't know," she said honestly, and that made her nervous. Draco's eyes were doing that soft grey thing and he kept glancing at her lips as he moved her subtly backwards until she was close to the wall, his arms wrapped around her waist, hugging her close.
"Can I see you?" Draco asked softly, his lips teetering fractions of an inch closer to hers. She nodded, willing him to move just that fraction of an inch closer, nodded again and Draco obliged her, and Hermione felt her chest expand like someone had pumped a great balloon inside her, and she loved Draco's tender kisses as much as she loved his passionate fuck-it-all making-out. He trailed tentative kisses along her jaw and chuckled deep in his throat when her knees did that quaky thing as he sucked gently on her neck at that point below her ear. Okay, now you really have to go, she thought, feeling heat well between her thighs, an odd tingly sensation going up and down her spine, and their parents' voices somewhere down the corridor. I'm surprised they've let us alone this long, she thought.
The adults were perfectly cordial in greeting them from the library—once Hermione had smoothed her hair and corrected her dress, which Draco had gone down again (which she had thoroughly enjoyed), and Draco had corrected the buttons of his shirt, which she'd been toying with before Mr Malfoy had caught them. Mrs Malfoy kissed Hermione's cheek upon goodbyes and Mr Malfoy just stared, as if he couldn't quite understand what was going on, but by the looks he shot his wife he was sure she would explain it for him.
"Bye Draco," Phaedra beamed teasingly, and Draco's cheeks tinged pale pink: Catching her eye, they both blushed and smiled and looked away as she got into her family's sleek pale-gold car. Luckily, Phaedra and William were both in the front and Hermione had put a book in her bag, just in case, and now she buried her face in it, her heart still fluttering wildly, the feel of Draco's lips still there on her lips and her throat and—she couldn't suppress a smile and licked her lips—her breasts. She'd worn the bra he liked, the dark-brown one with the gold lace that gave her a really good boost. Oh, yes, he likes this bra a lot, she thought, adjusting the neckline of her top nervously as Phaedra caught her eye, glancing back at her with a friendly smile, and she buried her face in her book again.
"Well at least it's not the Kama Sutra," she remarked softly, and Hermione shivered and her entire body burned in embarrassment. They reached the house and William unlocked the front-door.
"We'll come and say goodnight before we go to bed, sweetheart," William said, leaning to kiss her. "Keep your mouth closed." Hermione rolled her eyes and flushed with humiliation as her dad pecked her cheek, and Phaedra giggled. It was late, so Hermione went straight to her and Teddy's wing and frowned bemusedly as she heard some rather disconcerting noises echoing softly down the gallery. The portraits all giggled, running to and from each other's frames, and Hermione frowned as she drew closer to Teddy's bedroom, the door of which was ajar.
"Teddy, we're—OH MY GOD!" Hermione gasped loudly, her eyes wide as saucers as she saw the scene before her.
Teddy. Her Teddy gaped at her, propped up (naked but for his sheets) over a very slender tousled-blonde girl, whose top had been tossed across the room with her shoes and the most ridiculously-tiny pair of cut-off shorts in the world, and whose willowy legs were wrapped around Teddy. She had very obviously walked in on them having sex. Teddy was kind of sweaty and the girl was gasping for breath and the sheets were a tangled mess.
"Teddy!"
"Er…"
"What the hell are you thinking? Mum and Dad are home!" Hermione whispered. She grabbed hold of the doorknob and slammed the door behind her, just as she saw William striding down the gallery towards them.
"You weren't supposed to be home 'til late," Teddy panted subtly.
"Ted! Hermione!" Hermione's eyes, if possible, grew wider as Teddy's bedroom door tried unsuccessfully to open. Hermione pushed against it with all her might, trying not to let her parents, but her father eventually won out, Hermione falling to the floor from the force.
William spluttered; Phaedra gaped incredulously, looking between both of her children, and the poor girl pinned beneath Teddy looked around uncomfortably at anything that was inanimate.
"Teddy!" Phaedra gasped.
"…I think I'm gonna go home," the blonde said quietly, covering her bare chest with her arms. Hermione picked up the girl's clothes and tossed them to her; it didn't make much of a difference; the top was a tiny silky camisole slip, orangey in color, with tiny halter-straps, and the shorts were at most six inches from hip to them. The girl cast Hermione a thankful glance before stooping to collect her boots and hastening out of the bedroom. Teddy glanced after her with soft, wistful eyes. Oh, how much we have in common, Hermione thought in sarcastic delight.
"Come on, honey, let's leave these two alone," Phaedra said gently, sounding slightly stunned. "No exchanging sex-tips when we're gone." It was Hermione's turn to splutter indignantly.
"Sounds like Teddy knows what he's doing," William scoffed, and Phaedra had to forcibly drag her husband out of the room. The door closed and the two siblings glanced awkwardly at each other.
"So…who was that?"
"Marilis du Maurier," Teddy said, his sheets pulled around his hips from when the parents burst in.. He ran a hand through his hair and Hermione saw his chest rising and falling frantically, trying to regain his breath. Probably shocked the hell out of him, Hermione thought. Well GOOD. I'm sick of them always interrupting Draco and me.
"Marilis. Isn't she that slutty girl who transferred out of Hogwarts in 3rd year?" Hermione asked interestedly. She'd never seen much of Marilis; now she thought she could die without seeing Marilis ever again.
"Er…she did transfer to Beaxbaton, yes," Teddy said awkwardly. And she's slutty, Hermione thought, admiring her brother because he didn't feel comfortable calling the girl he'd just been caught having sex with a slut. It showed excellent breeding in his character.
"Um…do you want me to leave?"
"Er—yeah. No, hang on—why'd Mum say not to share sex tips? What have you been up to?" Teddy asked, narrowing his eyes scrutinizingly. "Hang on a minute! Draco didn't come to the party today—I knew it! I knew something was going to happen. Come here, tell me what happened."
Hermione gaped.
"You knew?"
"Well if course," Teddy said, as if she was incredibly thick, which she felt at that particular moment. Possibly it was much too late and she had been mentally traumatized too many times tonight. She knelt on the bench at the end of Teddy's bed, which hid his Hogwarts trunk beneath, and Teddy quickly put some clothes on.
"So Draco told you he likes you?"
"No. I read it."
"Read it where?"
"His journal."
"He let you read his journal!"
"No. I sort of…stole it."
"Sneak."
"Whore."
"Touché."
"So earlier this afternoon we were kissing, and Mrs Malfoy walked in on us. And this evening, we were kissing and Draco was groping me and Mr Malfoy caught us in the library," Hermione said, flustered and red-faced. It was weird, talking about her romantic life with her brother, of all people, but if you can't talk to him, who else are you going to talk to about it? Ron? Harry? Ha! They're hardly more experienced than you are…Hermione, you're more experienced than both.
"Wow," Teddy said softly, and Hermione nodded, her adrenaline from her make-out session with Draco wearing thin.
"So what about you? How did you end up with Marilis?"
"Well…it starts with a case of spiked Butterbeers," Teddy said, and Hermione laughed softly. "I don't know… She's really nice. She's not…she's not how other people think she is." Hermione nodded thoughtfully and listened to Teddy describing the party and the people he'd been hanging out with. So they stayed up for another hour talking about, well, first their unfortunate experiences of the day, and then about everything and anything they could think of, giggling so madly tears streamed down their cheeks and Hermione's stomach hurt.
A.N.: To caterpuff, I hope this chapter was awkward for you ;P Next chapter: The Talk. Mwahaha!