Here we go haha:) I couldn't not write another one tonight!

Chapter Ten: Miriam Duncan at number four

Rachel looked herself over in the mirror a few times before deciding on what to wear. She put on, a black skirt, with a matching long sleeved black shirt. She looks herself over one more time, then pulls her hair into a pony tail.

"I'm ready to go." She told him when she walks into the living room. Finn looked at her then frowned. "Ok." he said, with no real emotion in his voice. "Is something wrong?" She asked. He just shook his head and smiled. "Nothing, everything is perfect. Just like you." He said her, as he walked over and kissed her cheek.

"Let's go." he suggested, and they walk out to his car. They get in, buckle their seat belts, and get going. "It's kinda a long drive." he told her. She nodded. "That's ok. Things seem a little better when I'm with you." She said while looking out the window.

"Everything is wonderful when I'm with you." Finn smiled to himself. He really did love being with her. No matter how she felt, her presence just made everything better. "Oh Finn..." She shook her head and looked up at him. "I don't deserve this from you." Rachel told him.

"I love you." He answered. "I don't deserve that either." She pointed out. He laughed. "I'm allowed to love whoever I want. Even if it is unrequited." He smiled over at her. "So how long until we get there?" Rachel asked.

"About an hour." Finn answered. She nodded. "Thank you." She said wholeheartedly. Finn noticed, that those to words seemed to be the only ones she put very much emotion into. "Your welcome."

When they arrived at there destination, Finn parked, but kept the car started. "Alright. So I called Miriam and told her we were coming." He said. Rachel nodded. "Whose Miriam?" She asked. He looked over at her. "My cousin. She's twenty. She attempted...um yeah when she was fifteen." He explained. "Suicide. She attempted suicide." She corrected. Finn nodded.

"You ready to go? She can't wait to talk to you." He smiled. Rachel nodded, as Finn turned off the car. They both got out, and walked up to the door. He knocked, and a man answered. He smiled and patted Finn on the back.

"Hey, Hey, Hey! Stranger, long time no see!" The man hugged Finn and greeted them. "You must be Rachel." He smiled, and Rachel nodded. "Welcome, I'm Matthew," The man introduced himself. Rachel nodded, and all three of them walked into the house.

"Miriam! The guests are here!" Matthew called out. Right then, a brunette woman walked out and into the living room. "Finny!" She called, and threw her arms around the tall boy. She kissed his cheek and smiled. "How have you been big boy? Is this that beautiful girl you were telling me about?" The girl, Rachel guessed was Miriam asked.

"Yes, Mir. This is Rachel Berry." He introduced her to Rachel. The tiny brunette stuck out her hand for Miriam to shake, but instead, she brought Rachel into a hug. "Welcome to our home." She told her.

Rachel nodded and fake smiled. "Are you ready to talk, while the boys watch the football game?" She asked. Rachel nodded, and Miriam took her hand.

The girls settled into a bedroom and closed the door. "I'm Miriam Duncan, by the way." The girl told Rachel. She nodded. "If your uncomfortable, we can go to a different room. Bedrooms can seem kinda awkward." Miriam laughed. Rachel shook her head. "I'm fine." She told her. Miriam shook her head.

"Finn talks about you all the time. He's the cousin I'm closest to. His mother calls me once a week. Since my mom died, she kind of took the mothering role over. Even though I lived with my grandma, Carole made sure to call me everyday to see how I was doing. It started off Carole just talked to me, but then Finn started to as well. Now, they call me once a week just to talk." She explained.

Rachel sat down on the bed and nodded. "Every time we talk on the phone, he brings up the name Rachel berry. Your pretty famous in this house." Miriam chuckled, and Rachel just stared at her. Her expression still serious. "It started at the beginning of this year. He always talked about this girl, that he saw every where. He said he was having trouble getting her out of his head. Finn and I quote said, 'She's different in a great way.' One day, we were talking and he told me she wasn't talking to him. He was so upset. He didn't know what he did wrong. He told me a few things that she was doing. Like dressing differently, and not being as social. I didn't even know her, but immediately felt connected to her. I remembered feeling that way as well." Miriam confessed.

Rachel nodded. "Where are you going with this?" The tiny fragile girl asked sadly.

Miriam walked over and sat next to her. "I wasn't sure, if what happened to me was happening to you. So I told him to watch you. Carefully. He told me he already was, because there was no way he was going to let anything happen to the girl he loves." The older girl said.

Something hit Rachel. If that was true, then Finn loved her before, the whole suicide thing.

"We stopped talking for awhile. Because he was always busy when we were on the phone. About three days ago I talked to him again. He told me he was really worried about you. That you had cut your hair, and that you were always crying, and that the emotion was gone from your eyes. I immediately knew he needed to talk to you. I told him, he needed to make sure he was sure what was going on and proceed with caution. Then, I get a call today, telling me how he wanted me to talk to you. Because it was on your list. I didn't ask questions. I honestly really wanted to talk to you." Miriam finished her long story, while Rachel just stared at the wall.

"You felt the same way?" Rachel asked, finally turning to look at Miriam. She nodded. "Yep. I was always picked on, and pretty much tortured, in high school . I wasn't well liked, and so much. Plus, my dad beat me, only adding to the horribleness of it all. Then my mom died. The one person who seemed to understand me, died, and I was left with nothing." Rachel watched as a tear rolled down Miriam's cheek.

"I'm so sorry." Rachel sympathized. Remembering the nothing feeling.

"Don't be. I was a fifteen year old girl, who felt lost in this big, big world. Everything seemed to be falling down around me. I always tried to grab onto a tiny piece of hope, but somehow it always slipped away from me." Miriam told her.

"I know exactly how you felt." Rachel nodded, remembering the feeling of things crashing all around you. And how everything felt like it was fading away.

"Really? Tell me Rachel. Tell me how you felt." Miriam encouraged. "Felt? You mean feel. I feel as though, I'm trapped. Like no matter how hard I try, I can't escape this aching feeling, like everything I've ever had is being yanked away from me. It feel's like there is a giant hole where my heart should be." She said as tears rolled down her cheek.

Miriam nodded. Her eyes, showing that she wanted Rachel to go on. "It's like no matter how hard you try, everything is always still bad. And you try so hard, to take the pain away, with anything. And for a while I hoped someone would notice and help me. But after a while, I just stopped hoping and prepared myself for what came next." Rachel cried.

Miriam was getting teary eyed as well. "I didn't know it, but I had someone watching me like you did. We weren't friends, and I barley knew this guy, but he noticed. And he decided it was his job to make sure I was okay. Guess what? His name is Matthew Duncan, and I ended up marrying him." She smiled at the thought of her husband.

"That's sweet." The younger smiled, a real smile. "Tell me Rachel, what are some things that pushed you over the edge?"

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