The More Things Change

by calliopechild

The chance of a lifetime turns the Turtles' world upside down. New doors are opened, old ones are closed, and suddenly, anything is possible. But as they soon discover, no matter how far you run, you can't escape your past...

10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: see previous chapters.

Hooray! Another chapter, and it's only been two months! That's a bit longer than I wanted, but I've recently switched part-time jobs, and the hours have been a little weird. But to make it up to you, I now present the monster of all chapters: 42 freaking pages. I kind of wanted to break it up a little, but it works fine like this, and besides, I realized that the past three chapters (including this one) have only covered the span of about six days. I need to get things moving along.

So you get a ginormous monster chapter, complete with the long-awaited Donnie date. Enjoy!

---

Howard Pottmeyer

I scowled as the bell over the door rang. It would figure someone would come in just as I had sat down with the crossword. Never failed. A glance at the door just had me scowling more.

Kids. Damn suspicious, this early in the morning. Better not cause any trouble.

I looked the four of them over as they came into the store. They were all well-built, and the redhead in particular looked like he could cause some damage, but they looked too clean-cut to be members of some gang. Unless it was an act…though I had to admit I couldn't see any tattoos, and none of them had weird hair either.

'Cept that one with the ponytail. Young men need to learn to leave the long hair to the ladies.

Two of them stayed by the door, the redhead and one with dark hair. The dark one looked kinda antsy, tightly strung, sort of. Made me think about reaching for the pistol I have under the register, but watching him out of the corner of my eyes, it looked more like he was just gun-shy rather than getting ready to cause some trouble. I saw that kind of twitchiness in some of my old buddies who'd been in the war. Never really got used to being out in the open, some of them, and some got so bad they couldn't stand being around other people. But this was just a kid, barely in his twenties. Probably some kind of junkie. Damn drugs.

"You need t'calm the hell down, Leo," the redhead grumbled, startling me a bit. "It's way too frickin' early for you to be antisocial."

"I didn't realize there was an appropriate time slot for that," the dark one muttered back quietly. He looked up and caught me watching him—odd eyes on that one—then glanced down and blew out his breath, seeming to settle into place a little more. The redhead glanced up at me too, his eyes narrow.

I glared back. I'll watch whoever I damn well want to in my own store.

"Seriously, though, he's got a point, Leo," one of the others added from a few shelves away. They were trying to be quiet, but I'd owned the store for decades, and I'd moved the checkout counter right where the best acoustics were; there was practically nothing I couldn't hear in my store. "I think you were scaring the locals out there a bit. I swear I saw an old lady shuffle off in the other direction."

"I wasn't doing anything."

"It's the way you walk," the last one corrected, the one with the hippie hair. "You tend to…well, prowl a bit."

"…I what?"

"You just need to walk less like you're hunting something and more like…more like Raph," the blonde one said again. "New Yorkers are used to pissed-off people who stomp a lot."

"Hey, it's frickin' seven in the morning; I don't have to be social this early."

The dark haired one snorted softly. "But I do?"

"Shaddup."

"Alright, what do you guys want?" asked the one with the hippie hair. At least he was dressed decently, no ratty jeans or the like. Must just be too lazy to get a haircut. "They've got breakfast sandwiches, donuts, energy bars…"

"Donuts! Powdered sugar ones!"

"Oh right, because you need more sugar." I was starting to think the four of them had to be brothers, 'cause even saying that, the long-haired one was pulling a couple packages of donuts off the shelf. "Raph?"

"Not hungry."

"Leo?"

"I'll just get something later."

The blonde glanced up from where he was drawing faces in the condensation on the freezer doors. "Anything to drink?"

The redhead—Raph, was it? Sounded like a gang name—grunted. "Grab me an energy drink, would ya? Just none of that Red Bull shit. Leo?"

The dark one—Leo, apparently—shrugged. "Is there any tea?"

I cleared my throat. "Iced tea is the next door over, and the tea bags and hot water are by the coffee."

The four of them glanced up at me like they'd forgotten I was here, and I felt a little uncomfortable, them all staring like that, like I was intruding on their morning instead of the other way around. Damn rude.

The dark one nodded slowly. "Thank you," he said quietly as he moved towards the coffee area, shadowed by the redhead. I could see why his brother was giving him hell about making people uncomfortable; those eyes of his, combined with the way he moved—couldn't even hear his shoes squeak on the damn linoleum—made him a bit unsettling. Matter of fact, they all moved kinda oddly, casual-like, but sure. It made me double-check my gun again. Maybe they were just new in the neighborhood, or maybe the gangs were sending out higher classes of punks and shoplifters these days. They were polite enough, but there was just something off about 'em.

I grunted and looked down at my crossword, glancing over at the monitor beside me; it showed the camera feed from the back of the store, so I could still watch them. The blonde and 'Raph' were comparing energy drinks, and 'Leo' and Hippie-Hair were getting their drinks made. I looked down long enough to fill in a couple lines and checked the monitor again. Still nothing.

I couldn't figure it out. I knew all the college and local kids in the area, those who bothered to come to my store, anyway, and I'd never seen these four before. On top of that, not many young people came in at seven in the morning; these days most were too lazy, not even bothering to start the day 'till ten or eleven. Generally, the only time kids their age came in at odd hours was to try and start something or steal something, but these four…seemed decently respectable, if I had to say it.

I wanted to get Marge out here, see what she thought of 'em, but I was still leery about leaving 'em alone in my store long enough to go get her. I turned back to my crossword.

Sixteenth president. That was…dammit, who was it—Lincoln, right. Just one more thing that the schools didn't bother with these days; memorization was a major part of things in my time, but that granddaughter of mine couldn't even tell me the dates of the First World War. What the hell were they teaching these days?

"Excuse me."

I jumped, my pen clattering across the counter. I'd never even heard 'em move, but the blonde and the long-haired one were standing right in front of me. I cleared my throat, keeping my gun hand ready. "You all set?"

The blonde grinned and handed me my pen. "Yep."

I took it back and grunted, ringing up their purchases. As I waited for the receipt to print out—damn machine was as ancient as I was, I had to remind Marge that we needed a new one—I looked back at my crossword. "Any of you know what the eleventh element in the periodic table is?" Might as well find out if these kids had any brains on 'em, or if they really were just punks who cleaned up well and were good at sneaking around. They still taught the periodic table in those damn public schools, didn't they? If not, it was always good to show upstarts like these that they didn't know everything.

The blond automatically glanced at Hippie-hair, who tilted his head to the side, his eyes unfocused, then smiled as he looked back at me. "Sodium," he replied promptly, handing a package of donuts to the blonde.

I could tell my eyebrows rose a bit at that. Normal people didn't just rattle off stuff like that off the tops of their heads. Maybe these four were college students; that'd explain the surly behavior. As for their builds…jocks, maybe. I knew a couple basketball players that were pretty damn light on their feet; these four weren't quite tall enough, though. I forced my thoughts back in line and grunted, filling the letters in. They fit. "Thanks."

There were less-than-subtle coughs from the blonde and 'Raph' that sounded suspiciously like "nerd". Hippie-hair ignored them; if they were all brothers like I thought they were, he probably had a lot of practice with that. Didn't look a thing alike, though. College roommates, maybe.

Hippie-hair craned his neck to the side, glancing over the crossword. "And number 13 across is 'ethanol'."

I frowned a little; was the kid trying to show off now? "You a college student?"

He grinned weakly, glancing at his brother. "I was. I, um, graduated early though."

"Huh. New in town?"

"Yes, sir. We moved in about a month ago, on the East side."

"Huh." That explained why I hadn't seen 'em before. Didn't explain what they were doing all the way over here, though.

"Hey, Nerd Wonder, we ready to go?" 'Raph' was looking antsy over by the door. "If I've gotta wait for hours in a line at your museum for old shit, your precious coffeemaker dies when we get home."

Hippie-hair rolled his eyes. "Thank you, oh paragon of patience, for graciously reminding me of our schedule." He flashed a quick smile at me and headed for the door.

I watched them leave, noticing the way the dark-haired one paused a little, like he was bracing himself before going outside. Even odder was the way the other three seemed to almost flank him, like they were following him and serving as a buffer at the same time.

Weird kids. Still, polite enough, I guess, and at least they didn't steal anything. Still damn weird, though. I smoothed my paper back into place, glancing at the clue for 13 across, then turned my head and hollered towards the back. "Marge! You on the damn computer?"

"Yes! What's your problem now?"

"Find out what the hell kind of liquid has the lowest freezing point!"

I could hear Marge muttering for a minute, then she hollered back.

"Ethanol!"

I scowled, filling in the letters reluctantly.

Damn smartass kids.

---

Donatello

As much as I enjoyed our new life, living in the city rather than below it, I still wasn't used to the amount of noise and congestion and—and people that New York was filled with. Being able to step into our quiet apartment was a relief after a day of navigating New York's streets and trying not to get killed in traffic. Add to that the fact that I didn't usually get home until dinnertime or later…and it was understandable that I was a little overtaxed in the sensory overload department.

Today, at least, it had been worth it.

Even though we had just gone out to the bar on Friday, we'd decided to visit the American Museum of Natural History. I didn't have anything planned, so I had no problem with it. Besides, Mikey had insisted that we needed to start making more progress on our "tourist list," and Leo had added that he'd like to scope out a few locations to take Yuki-san, ones he could actually tell her about. That was all the excuses I needed, and we managed to drag Raph along as well.

I'd always dreamed of getting to go to the American Museum of Natural History. Even though I'd studied about a great deal of the artifacts that were enshrined there, it was totally different from getting to actually walk around and look at all the different exhibits. And with as much history as they had in there, each of us managed to find something to interest us, even as different as we were. I could have spent all day in there, but as it neared dinnertime, I was about the only one who still had the patience to keep looking, so we headed back.

Raph beat me into the apartment, making a beeline for the fridge, then disappearing to his room with a growl after realizing he'd already finished off the six-pack. Most of the time, I could swear it was just what the beer symbolized, and not even the alcohol itself, that helped him calm down. Either way, I was content to let him cool off by himself; I'd appreciated that he'd come along and been as patient with me as he had been that day.

I dropped my shoes by the door and headed to my room, then flicked on my computers. After I checked on my email accounts, I started going through the surveillance files. As much as I didn't want to admit that Raph was right…I did worry that our enemies would follow us from our new life. He had a point there, because even if we were ignoring them, there was absolutely nothing keeping them from coming after us. While Karai and Bishop did have to worry about legal repercussions, they had ways around them, namely by using their flunkies. So being prepared…I was willing to admit that it could make a big difference.

Along those lines, I'd set up several cameras around our apartment, as well as Mikey and Leo's, and April and Casey's. I had the feed from all them funneled to my computer, so that I was able to keep an eye on things and see if we'd had any company lately. Additionally, I still had my old feeds hooked up down in the sewers and around the foundry, just in case the Foot were creeping around there as well.

I reviewed the recordings from the three apartments for the day, relieved to see nothing on it, then deleted the old footage. I switched my receiver to a different channel, and waited for the footage from the sewer to come up. Nothing had happened around the foundry, not that I'd expected it to; it had been one of our more secretive Lairs, and we'd been especially careful not to draw attention to it when we entered and exited.

The problem cropped up when I went over the sewer footage, however.

Everything was clear all day long, but as soon as I flipped over to the live feed, I saw glimpses of black-clad forms darting along the tunnels.

The Foot.

I plugged the camera controls into my computer and zoomed the cameras out, setting them to do a slow sweep. Two sets of Foot ninja, a dozen strong each, were prowling through the tunnels, obviously searching for something. And given how few people spent any time in the sewers unless they had to, I knew they were looking for us.

Shell.

Leo had been right. Karai must have gotten suspicious after we'd been gone for so long, after not hearing anything about us interrupting any Foot patrols or crime sprees, and now she was looking for us. Of course, that wasn't the problem. The problem was what she'd do when she couldn't find us, because as much as I hated to admit it, Leo was right; Karai wouldn't just let it go. She'd look this gift horse in the mouth, just the same as we would, because there was telling yourself that an enemy was neutralized, and there was knowing an enemy was neutralized. Over the years, we'd both made that mistake often enough that neither of us would be satisfied with anything other than each other's corpses in front of us.

I swore and sat back, scrubbing my hands over my face harshly. A couple months; that's all the more peace we'd had. All that work I did, all that research, as careful and quiet as we'd been, and it'd only bought us a couple weeks. I could look ahead at things just as well as Leo could. Karai would either scour all of the sewers and realize that we weren't there any more, or she'd realize after enough time had passed that we were playing with her…and then there was every chance that she'd go after April and Casey. Leo had a point; his plan would only buy us a little time.

But it was still the only one we had.

I stared at the phone for several minutes before I could finally force myself to pick it up and call Leo. This wasn't something I should keep from my brothers, not when it gave us a perfect opportunity to test out Leo's idea and see if the Foot and Karai would really react the way he expected. Even if I didn't want anything to do with this…I had to admit that Leo's plan made sense, and since this didn't affect just me, it wasn't something I could hide from them. I sighed and dialed Mikey and Leo's apartment.

"Hamand's Turtle Shop—you shell 'em, we sell 'em!"

I closed my eyes for a minute, praying for patience. "Mikey, what the shell are you doing?"

"Oh, hey, Donnie! How's it going?"

"What on earth are you thinking, answering the phone like that?"

There was a slight sigh on the other line, so quiet I almost missed it. "I think I'm making a joke, Donnie; I've been known to do that from time to time."

My lips tightened. "And what if someone else had been on the line?"

"Dude, you guys and April and Casey are the only ones who know this number. It was just a joke."

I sighed, trying not to get upset. It was just a joke, and I'd be the first to admit I was a little tense after seeing the Foot…but it was also a huge slip if I hadn't been the one calling. But I knew Mikey well enough to know that even if I yelled at him, it probably wouldn't stick; apparently I was the only one who was worried about keeping a low profile. "Yeah. Look, is Leo there? I've picked up some stuff from my sensors in the sewers, and I think tonight might be a good opportunity to try and take out a patrol, if Leo still thinks it'll work."

"Really? Sweet! Yeah, just a sec, I'll go get 'im."

A couple seconds passed before I heard Leo's voice. "Donnie? It's Leo. What's up?"

"My cameras picked up a Foot patrol in the sewers. I figured you'd want to know about it."

I could practically see Leo nodding through the phone. "Definitely. How many are there?"

"Just one patrol, about a dozen of them. Judging by their path, they're heading towards the old Lair, and they're checking out the surrounding tunnels and trying to block off a couple of them."

"They're just in that one area? Are there any Foot Tech or Elite?"

I flicked on the heat sensors and shook my head. "Nope. Just regular Foot soldiers. There's another patrol two tunnels over, same size, same specs."

There was a pregnant pause in which I could tell Leo was thinking furiously, plans already forming. For all that I was the smart one, Leo knew tactics and strategy like the back of his hand; he could put together a functional, effective plan of attack faster than some people could get dressed. "Alright. Keep the surveillance focused on them. Mikey and I will be over in about ten minutes. Is Raph there?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Let him know as well. And Don?"

I hesitated. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for letting me know."

I blinked, wondering if he'd thought that I wouldn't have…wondering what I'd done to reinforce that idea. "Y-yeah, no problem." I hung up and sighed, standing to go fill Raph in.

It only took about half an hour for us to decide on a plan of attack, less time than I would have expected or was comfortable with, considering that messing this up would cost us so much more than just a tactical advantage. I didn't say anything, though, because I couldn't argue that all the bases had been covered.

Leo and Mikey had shown up with duffel bags full of weapons, tools and black clothing. Leo's plan was pretty simple; they'd dress in black to give away as little as possible, with some layers to add bulk just in case one of the Foot managed to catch a glimpse of them. They'd be wearing their bandanas as well, since those would show up well in the tunnels thanks to the white eyeholes and reinforce that it really was us—the Turtles—attacking. There'd be no messing around, just a quick, silent attack, taking down the Foot as quickly and painfully as possible; being more ruthless than usual would decrease our chances of being seen, as well as serving to further hammer home the idea that we really were worried and stretched thin. I'd provided each of them with a small chip I'd been working on, one that could pick up sound, so that I'd have an opportunity to capture some audio and see if Karai was really taking the bait. If they got the chance, slipping it onto one of the Foot ninja would give us a chance to spy on Foot HQ without anyone being the wiser. It was simple yet effective, and it was honestly a lot less complicated—and less dangerous—than many of the maneuvers we'd done in the past.

It felt weird, almost—wrong, to be sitting around watching my brothers get suited up and ready for an attack while I would be staying behind. I still didn't want to get involved, and I knew that we really did need someone to keep an eye on things—since seeing our enemies first would help us keep from being seen ourselves—but we had always been a team, and I didn't like the idea of not being there to watch their backs.

"You guys have your headsets, right?" I asked, looking them over. I had to fight a smile for a minute, because they looked like cat burglars, dressed all in black as they were.

"Got 'em," Mikey replied, settling his on his head and flicking it on. "Still works too—I think."

Leo nodded. "It does," he said, tapping his own. "I can hear you just fine, Mikey. Raph?"

"Yeah, I got it," he grumbled, fitting the earpiece into his ear. "Check, one two, and all that."

"Let me make sure it works from my end too." I headed back into my room, leaned towards the microphone on my desk and spoke softly. "Can you guys hear me alright?" I waited as they all responded, pleased to notice that the lines were free of static. Communication would be important.

I stepped back out into the living room and watched as they collected the last of their gear. By the time they were ready, we all just kind of stood around awkwardly; I wasn't the only one who felt weird. Finally I just smiled at them a little. "Be careful."

Mikey grinned. "When aren't we?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want me to answer that question? Because I've probably got a complete tally somewhere…"

"We'll be back before you know it, Nerd Wonder," Raph said. "I'll even bring you back a souvenir if you want."

"Bring back any tech they have on them," I said seriously, just thinking of something. "Or check their masks for headphones; if that's how they communicate, I can probably tap into their transmitting signal. Actually—wait just a minute—" I ran back to my room, pawing through my filing cabinet until I found what I was looking for, then jogged back to the living room. "Use this," I said, passing one of my handheld sensors to Leo and a couple bugs to Raph and Mikey. "The sensor can pick up radio frequencies and determine the wavelength. Once I know that, I can narrow down the prospects and find out what station they're using to transmit. It's better than taking one of their masks, because they'd probably just change their frequency if they thought it had been compromised."

Leo took it carefully, looking like he thought he might break it. "How do I use it?"

I pointed at one of the smaller blue buttons. "Just hold this down for about five seconds, then let go. A number will come up on the screen then; just let me know what it is. That's it. As for the bugs, put them somewhere unnoticeable where they're not likely to get damaged; try the sword sheathes."

"Alright." Leo tucked it into a pocket and nodded. "We'd better get going before they move or finish up. Don, let us know what you see. If everything goes well, we should be back in no more than a couple of hours."

I bit my tongue and asked why they couldn't be done in half an hour—the longer they stayed out, the more of a chance there was that they would be caught or seen—but I'd lived with Leo long enough to know that he was nothing if not thorough; painfully so. "Sounds good. Keep your phones on. And Mikey, I swear, if you make me listen to your Darth Vader breathing through the headset again, I'm patching feedback at about eighty decibels straight into your eardrums."

Mikey smiled innocently (as much as he could manage, anyway) and edged for the door. "Love you too, Donnie!"

The apartment was unnervingly quiet once my brothers had left, and I was kind of at a loss for a while. I knew it was only a ten minute trip to the Foot squad's location in the sewers, but factoring in a stealthy approach, it would probably take them closer to twenty.

Which meant I had a lot of quiet, uninterrupted time on my hands.

I'd been working steadily on a handful of programs—bugs, cookie attachment downloads, and some modified Trojans—ever since Leo had brought up the issue of not having any alternatives. The problem was that I'd only been able to work on them in spurts in between work and sleep and trying not to attract Raph's attention. He'd developed the unfortunate habit of popping in my door at random times to see if I wanted to go out and do something—take a walk, train, go pester Mikey and Leo—or to hand off any of the discarded parts he'd saved from work before they were thrown out, things he knew I needed or would be interested in tinkering with. I appreciated the efforts for what they were—an apology a la Raph, unspoken but still well-meaning, without really taking back what he'd said. Still, constantly having to look over my shoulder had seriously hampered my ability to finish my projects.

And after all of my admonitions to be careful, not attract attention and not try to go on the offensive…well, if Raph knew what I was working on, it would likely seem like the worst kind of hypocrisy there was.

Except that I wasn't being a hypocrite. Not really, anyway. I was being careful; my programs were absolutely untraceable, and I only planned to send them out at a staggered rate of maybe one a month, if that. And this hardly counted as going on the offensive, either; this was like Leo's plan to scour the sewers and mislead Karai, more of an oblique distraction. Right now, these programs were for information-gathering only. I just needed one backdoor to Karai's system, and then I could keep track of everything: staff numbers, shipping plans, any backroom deals that were going on. And those tidbits I could feed to the cops; it had been easy to pick up a couple disposable cell phones at work—with my employee discount, no less. If Karai had to handle various deals being broken up or having the police stumble across some of her warehouses, it'd be something else to take her attention off of us. Even better, with how carefully I would be covering my tracks, she'd have no proof of outside involvement, and would likely assume it was a matter of having a traitor among the ranks.

Anything I could do to break the Foot apart from the inside was something that would keep their attention off of us. We'd be moved to the backburners in Karai's mind, even though Leo was apparently right about our absence setting her on edge. And that would give us time to find a permanent solution. There had to be one, other than direct confrontation; if I'd learned anything through all our battles and all the puzzles I'd had to solve through the years, it was that just because there wasn't an obvious solution didn't mean that there wasn't any solution at all.

I'd find it, and it would start with my programs.

Twenty minutes was about the largest block of uninterrupted time I'd had for my work in weeks, and by the time I heard my brothers' headsets click back on into active use, I'd managed to complete two of my Trojans. All that was left was to find a way to get them into Karai's system, and I had a few ideas about how to accomplish that. No war was ever won just by dint of pure brute force, after all.

And besides, who ever heard of a ninja in broad sight on a battlefield?

---

Raph

We dropped into the sewers as quietly as we could, tryin' not to breathe through our noses. It was weird to notice the smell so much after livin' with it and ignorin' it for so long, but when you considered the time we spent livin' in the foundry and then the past couple months…we really hadn't been in the sewers for a while. Part of it felt like steppin' back into our home, while the other part was just—uneven. It didn't feel quite right anymore.

Leo glanced around as we waited for our eyes to adjust. "Alright, you guys know the drill. We're not here for fun; we have to be as quick and careful as possible. We can't let them see us. Keep all contact to a minimum in terms of grappling, holds or throws; we can't take the risk that they might feel five fingers instead of three, or thinner, longer arms."

I couldn't help rollin' my eyes. "We got it, Leo." Much as it was good to see Leo back in his element, this kind of thing always had gotten old fast.

"And from now on, Don, we're going to limit our replies to you. If we aren't even in contact with you, it reinforces the idea that things are too serious for you to be away from Master Splinter, even for surveillance. So from here on, we're going to operate under the assumption that we're always being listened to."

Our headsets clicked slightly. "That works," Don replied, his voice tinny through the mike. "Put on your sunglasses now, too; I'm linked up to the power in that tunnel now, and I'm going to kill the lights in the tunnel as soon as you meet up with the Foot—exactly five seconds after you see the first of them—and getting used to a darker environment now means that you won't be blind then."

"Got it. Let's go."

It didn't take long to find the Foot; things echoed like crazy in the tunnels, off both the water an' the walls, which those idiots obviously didn't know. Even though none of 'em were talkin', whispers of sound as they moved floated back through the tunnel, which made it really frickin' easy to sneak up on 'em. We inched around one more bend an' saw the first group, then stuffed our sunglasses in our pockets as we heard Don whisper "now."

Everythin' went pitch-black. The Foot idiots started yappin' at each other, an' we flew forward under the cover of the sound.

For all Don and Leo's worryin', it was as easy as I thought it'd be; the Foot had only ever had strength in numbers, not skill, an' this was still our home turf. Even without plannin' out every single freakin' step the way we had, I still figured we coulda taken 'em easily. They were blind as bats an' had no idea what to expect. We just plowed through 'em like we always did, an' I was glad to see that I was back up to my usual speed. Still, as much fun as it was to kick some ass, I kept lookin' around for Don; I'd expect to see three of my bros, and only seein' two each time I looked was…weird.

Even with only three of us, though, the "fight" was over in about five minutes, an' from what I could tell, all of the Foot were seriously unconscious.

Leo looked around, doin' a damage check. He glanced at me before touchin' Mikey gently on the back. "Everyone okay?"

Mikey grinned and waved him off. "I'm fine; I needed to limber up anyway."

I had no clue what that was about, but whatever; maybe they'd had an accident durin' trainin' or somethin'. I bent down, pretendin' to check one of the unconscious idiots, an' tagged one of 'em with a bug. "Yeah, 'm good. Like it's any surprise."

Mikey winked, hammin' it up, the doofus. "Let's go take care of the rest of 'em; I don't wanna leave Donnie by himself any longer than we have to, not if Sensei—"

"That's enough, Mikey," Leo interrupted.

I snorted. This just felt stupid, but Mikey, of course, was having a riot. "I told ya, you guys didn't have to come if you were so worried about leavin'. I coulda handled it alone."

"Not an option, Raph," Leo said quietly, raisin' an eyebrow. He knew I was at least partly serious, not just playin'. "I'm not risking anyone else being—out of commission."

Damn, but he was good at this; the slight pause, the catch in his voice—if I hadn't known better, I even woulda thought Leo was worryin' about somethin' for real.

"I'm just sayin'—"

"You're always 'just saying'," Mikey interrupted. I could see him bitin' his lip, tryin' not to laugh as the sound of shiftin' echoed behind us; at least one of the Foot was conscious and listenin', an' they obviously thought we couldn't hear 'em. "Leo's right," he continued, his voice crackin' a bit as he tried not to laugh. "Now's really not the time to go solo, Rambo; Don doesn't need anyone else to take care of."

Little jerk was just takin' advantage of the situation now. But if he could, so could I. "Why the hell d'you think I'd need taken care of afterwards? It's just the Foot. Even you could take 'em alone."

"Of course I could, I'm the Battle Nexus Champion!"

More shiftin'. I was about to start laughin' myself.

"Guys." The annoyance in Leo's voice wasn't faked; he never did have much of a sense of humor during missions. "That's enough. We've still got another group to deal with, and we're going in nearly blind as it is. We really don't need you two giving them any warning that we're coming."

I snorted. "What, would they use the extra two seconds of warnin' to suddenly develop skills or somethin'?"

I could see Mike pinch himself to keep from laughin'. "He's got a point, Leo. We're not exactly having a lot of trouble, even when it's just—just three of us."

The water at my feet rippled as a not-so-unconscious Foot flunky twitched slightly a couple inches away. I had to hand it to 'im, Mikey could piss off anyone he met, whether he even talked to 'em or not. I stuffed my fist in my mouth to keep from crackin' up.

Leo glared at me an' tapped Mikey on the back sharply, makin' him wince. "Still. On the off chance that they do at least have someone to watch their backs—" Mikey looked embarrassed for some reason, and I felt like I was missin' somethin'. "—Then we need to keep moving." He gave me a warning look, an' I held my hands up in surrender. "Come on."

We headed off for the next location an' cleaned that group up too, and surprise, surprise, it didn't take any longer than it had the first time.

What a shock.

It was weird to be so close to the old Lair, though, an' I wasn't all that comfortable with the Foot bein' so close to one of our old homes, even if we weren't livin' there any more. I was pretty sure Don long since gotten all of his gadgets out of there, so it wasn't like there was anythin' for the Foot to find, but still—lettin' people see your home territory always gave 'em an edge, no matter how old it was. "Hey, Leo."

Leo cocked his head towards me as he messed with the toy Don gave 'im, waitin' 'till it beeped softly. "Yeah?"

"Shouldn't we get these guys outta here?" I asked, kickin' one of the flunkies sprawled at my feet. I could tell from the tension in his body when my foot connected that he wasn't unconscious, an' wondered which one of us hadn't hit 'im hard enough. Still, he was useful as a "spy", so I was nice an' pretended to believe him while he played possum.

Leo tucked the radio gun thing back into his bag an' shook his head. "It'll take too long. Just leave them. Besides, I think we've made our point, and we've got bigger issues to deal with."

Mikey walked over to us on some of the clearly unconscious dirt bags, hoppin' on 'em like steppin' stones and noddin' that he'd gotten his bugs distributed too. "Can you guys argue as we leave? 'Cause I wanna get back. We've already been gone almost an hour, and Donnie's probably ready to build a robot army and send it after us."

I shrugged an' glanced at Leo. He looked around a little, one hand flexin' on the handle of a sword. "Leo?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

We headed off down the tunnel, with Leo bringin' up the rear. I could tell from how quietly he was walkin' that he was listenin' carefully, expectin' whichever Foot ninja that were still conscious to mount a sneak attack, but they obviously decided that stayin' down was their best option.

Smartest move they'd made in a while.

Our headsets clicked again halfway back to the manhole we'd come in at, an' Don murmured quietly that we'd gotten all of 'em (obviously), no one was followin', an' no reinforcements were on their way. We told 'im we'd see 'im back at the apartment in a few minutes an' turned off our headsets before the batteries died.

What with Leo takin' his time playin' watchdog, Mike an' I were the first to reach the ladder. I was wonderin' why the chucklehead was bein' so quiet—he hadn't complained about gettin' sewer scum on his pants for at least five minutes—when he spoke up.

"It…it didn't really feel right, did it?" Mikey asked, flickin' at the chain on his 'chuck.

I wanted to just brush it off, 'cause this kinda stuff had never been my forte, but…but it was Mike. I couldn't do that to him. An' besides…I knew what he meant. "No. No, it really didn't." I sighed. "But Don…he ain't willin' to look back quite yet, and 'til he is, he's just gonna be part of the team from his computer. Still here, just…not right beside us."

"It just…it's like a wobbly chair, you know? Like one leg is missing, so we're all unbalanced."

Much as I hated to admit it, he had a point; we were used to coordinatin' with the four of us, and havin' one part missin' was just…it threw things off. We'd have to make sure we didn't try anythin' more than these little hit-an'-run deals for a while, 'cause sooner or later one of us would be expectin' Don to be there, an' then we'd prob'ly screw up before we remembered he wasn't.

Shell. More an' more crap to deal with, an' I was the guy who had to try an' talk to the little dweeb. Or maybe I'd just set Mikey loose on 'im, see if Mikey couldn't lay down a guilt trip or somethin'. He was good at that.

I scruffed Mikey's head 'til his stupid beanie fell off an' then threw it at 'im. "We'll worry about fixin' chairs later, blondie; let's just get home for now before you start to smell any worse."

Mikey stuck his tongue out at me an' jammed his hat back on his head. "Oh right, like you've been down here running through a bed of roses," he grumbled.

I waited for Mikey to make it to the top of the ladder before steppin' towards it; years of experience had taught us that standin' right at the base of a ladder made you a great target for drips or whatever nasty stuff could be kicked off of the ladder rungs—whether on purpose or on accident.

Bein' brothers, the "on accident" bit happened a lot less often.

I waited for Mikey's hissed "all clear" before I glanced back for Leo. "Hey, you ready to—"

Leo was standin' back a couple feet, just inside the circle of light that the streetlights cast down the manhole with his hand against the tunnel wall, starin' at the splay of his fingers against the stone.

I frowned. "Leo. You ready to go?"

"I—I don't know." Leo let out a shaky breath, just a hint of a laugh trailin' at the end of it. "It's been almost three months since we last did anything like this, since we were even down here, so how—" His voice broke off suddenly. "How can it feel right to be back here?"

Apparently everyone was gonna have an existential crisis tonight; I was so not the one to deal with this. "Because it was our life for so long, Leo. Like you told me, you can't expect everyone to adjust quickly; 'specially not you, given how much you pour into things." I reached out an' grabbed Leo's shoulder, tuggin' him towards the ladder. "C'mon. We don't get outta here soon, Donnie's gonna blow a gasket."

Leo let himself be pulled complacently. "I think…you know, I think I could have been happy," he said softly. "I mean, even if this was all we had, if this change hadn't happened…I think I could have been happy with our old life for however long we lived, or—or at least content. Maybe it wasn't always good, but it was…comfortable. I knew where I stood."

I felt a chill go up my spine; the thought of stayin', of livin' out the rest of our lives in the sewer an' the shadows, made my skin crawl now. After seein' the light, as it were, an' livin' aboveground…I couldn't go back. I swallowed an' gave Leo a gentle shove towards the ladder. "You've just got to find your feet topside, that's all. You're okay with it just 'cause you never learned how to ask for things or expect anythin' good for yourself. Give me an' Mikey a couple months, we'll teach you how to be a greedy bastard."

Leo laughed quietly. "Sure. Sounds good." He checked his swords an' headed up the ladder carefully.

Even though I felt stupid, I paused a moment to stare into the tunnel, eyes strainin' as I looked at where the walls melted away into darkness. "He's not yours. Not anymore."

Damn if I knew who I was talkin' to: our past, the Foot I knew were behind us, whatever…the point still stood.

We were leavin' that behind, an' we were takin' Leo with us.

---

I woke up with a start later that night, teeth clenchin' on a yell, an' jackknifed up to find myself pantin' in the middle of the floor. I glanced around jerkily, findin' myself in a pile of sheets just next to the bed, sweat already chillin' on my chest an' forehead.

I nearly got my second heart attack of the night when my door flew open to reveal Don, hair mussed an' backlit by the hallway light. "Raph? Are you alright?" His eyes darted around the room, lookin' for the source of the noise like he was expectin' an attacker or somethin'; I appreciated the fact that he didn't automatically think I was chillin' on the floor 'cause of a bad dream.

It took a couple seconds for me to shake it off, but I let out a slow breath an' hauled myself off the floor, vaguely amused to see Don clutching his bo; seemed even for Mr. Compartmentalize, some habits died hard. "Yeah. Yeah, 'm alright; just a—bad dream."

Don blinked a few times, then seemed to relax, leanin' against the doorway. His eyes were locked on me, bags an' all from the rude wake-up. "You haven't had one that bad for a while," he said cautiously.

"Yeah, you're tellin' me; haven't missed 'em either." I rubbed my hands down my face, grimacin' as afterimages flashed behind my eyes.

I could hear Don shiftin' slightly in the doorway. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. No, but thanks, Donnie. I just…need to shake this one off," I said lowly, standin' up and dumpin' the sheets back on the bed. "You go back to sleep; I'm gonna watch some TV for a bit."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Gotta get your beauty sleep."

Don nodded slowly, gamely quirkin' a smile at the weak joke. "Sure. If you need to talk…"

I nodded. "I know, your door's open. I appreciate it, Donnie."

"Just as long as you know." Don patted me on the shoulder as I walked past, then shuffled back to his own room.

I waited 'til I heard Don's door close before shovin' open the window to the fire escape an' climbin' outside, breathin' heavily in the cool night as I dropped to sit on the metal landing.

Don was right in sayin' I hadn't had a dream that bad in a while; the past few months especially, there'd been a lot less ugly stuff for my mind to play with at night.

This time, though…it was one of those deals where your brain just takes somethin' normal an' shows ya just how wrong it coulda gone. In my case, it had been that stupid little instance with Leo earlier that night; didn't take any more than a minute, him an' his whole "I think I coulda put up with this forever if I had to" martyr bit down in the sewers, but it still—still screwed me up, apparently.

In my dream, we'd been back down there, everythin' exactly the same…'cept this time when I reached for Leo, he pulled back, steppin' back further into the shadows. I'd moved after him, but for some reason I couldn't leave the circle of light comin' down the manhole, an' I couldn't quite reach him. I'd yelled at him to stop bein' stupid, to just come on, but he hadn't listened. A second later the dark had started risin' up his body like he was sinkin' in water, 'til I was standin' there watchin' the whites of his eyes go black an' disappear. The circle of light had started closin' around me at the same time, an' I'd lunged for him, only to pull back a handful of shadow.

An' that was when I woke up, freakin' out like—like it mattered an' wasn't just a stupid dream.

I stayed out on the fire escape for about half an hour, just listenin' to the sounds of New York at three in the mornin', an' finally went in when I stopped bein' able to feel my toes. Stupid as it was—it was just a dream, for cryin' out loud—I did want to talk to someone about it, an' finally figured I'd stop by Case's place an' see if April was in later; much as I appreciated the offer, Don didn't need to hear this. He didn't need to know I thought Leo might have trouble lettin' things go completely, or that I was freakin' out about stupid stuff. April was used to listenin' to us, and she knew what to say, an' more importantly, how to keep her mouth shut, which was somethin' not all of us had mastered.

By that point, just spendin' so much time thinkin' about how to try an' deal with all this crap had exhausted me again, and I fell back into bed, hopin' I wouldn't have any more stupid dreams.

Bein' philosophical was Leo's shtick, an' he could keep it. But even all this thinkin' about crap wasn't helpin'. I couldn't make Leo understand that there was more to life than just not hatin' the prospect of wakin' up every morning, just like I couldn't make Don understand that our change had made us blend, not disappear.

Basically, all my damn problems boiled down to the fact that like always, I still couldn't fight what I couldn't hit.

---

Karai

I glanced up at a slight whisper of sound to see several of my ninja kneeling at the doorway, waiting for permission to enter. I had to struggle to bite back a surge of annoyance; between the daily minutiae of running a business and several meetings, this was the first chance I had had all day to look over my accounts and try to find some loopholes for myself. The fact that I hadn't, and that I had been interrupted, did nothing to improve my temper. However, I was still the Shredder, and my father's clan was just as much my responsibility as his business was. "Enter," I ordered, setting down my pen.

My ninja came closer and took up position in front of me, and I frowned as I saw the state they were in. Several of their uniforms were torn, many were filthy, and they smelled abominably. I began to regret my order that they always report to me immediately after coming off of their patrols. "Report."

"We encountered the Turtles, mistress," one ninja began, my muscles tensing as he spoke, "in the sewers near their old stronghold—the one we discovered. They seem to still have their sensors and equipment established there, because they attacked us little more than half an hour into our patrol, and cut the power in the tunnel to…take us by surprise."

I kept my lip from curling in disgust, but only barely. Pathetic; this is what I was left with? These sad excuses for soldiers? My men were not being stringent enough in their recruiting, if my ninja could not bring my victories with three to one odds, unfamiliar terrain or not. I needed to train them harder, to weed out the weak and useless myself—but I didn't have the time. Just like everything else, I did not have the time to handle this issue as well as everything else on my plate. I wondered when my clan's skills had first begun to deteriorate, and if I could have stopped it. By appearances, I still had their loyalty, but I knew the dungeons held dissenters, something else my father never had to deal with. I couldn't keep from wondering morbidly, if I ordered all those I had left to commit seppuku, would they obey?

It would be one less problem for me to deal with, at least.

But that was hardly helpful. Some of these were still my father's men, chosen by him; they were, in theory, still useful. "Is that all the news you have for me?" I asked lowly.

"No, mistress. We were also able to catch this conversation when the Turtles thought themselves unobserved." He set a small tape recorder in front of him and pushed a button.

At first all I heard was static and the sound of breathing, and I realized that the recording had come from one of my soldiers' own earpieces; they must have been faking unconsciousness in order to be close enough. While I appreciated the results, the action itself still disgusted me.

"Everyone okay?"

I stiffened at the sound of Leonardo's voice in my chambers, even if it was only through a recording. I knew his voice almost as well as my father's, though the sound filled me with rage.

"I'm fine; I needed to limber up anyway."

Michelangelo was alive as well. How wonderful.

"Yeah, 'm good. Like it's any surprise."

And Raphael. I at least had confirmation that it was, indeed, the Turtles who had attacked, not the Purple Dragons or some other contingent. I had not yet heard Donatello, however, which was odd.

"Let's go take care of the rest of 'em; I don't wanna leave Donnie by himself any longer than we have to, not if Sensei—"

"That's enough, Mikey," Leonardo interrupted.

"Stop the tape," I said suddenly. "Play that last segment again." I listened carefully, focusing on every nuance of their voices.

"I don't wanna leave Donnie by himself any longer than we have to, not if Sensei—"

"That's enough, Mikey."

So the rat was in some sort trouble, ill or injured. I had been right about their absence. And apparently, it was dire enough to require that Donatello remain at the rat's beside, leaving his brothers to work as three, rather than four. This was a weakness I had to take advantage of. "Continue," I ordered.

"I told ya, you guys didn't have to come if you were so worried about leavin'. I coulda handled it alone."

My eyes narrowed; the only thing worse than Raphael's hubris was the truth in it.

"Not an option, Raph." Leonardo, again. "I'm not risking anyone else being—out of commission."

"Play that section again," I ordered. I waited for Leonardo to speak, listening for—there it was again. A slight hesitation, a quiver in his voice. Leonardo had no weaknesses that I had found other than his family—except perhaps his naïveté. Only a true threat would affect him, especially if he was trying to phrase it so delicately—"out of commission"…a polite way of saying useless. So it was serious, then.

"I'm just sayin'—"

"You're always 'just saying'." Michelangelo again, and his voice sounded—odd. Slightly choked, a bit strained. I don't think I'd ever heard him in such a state before. "Leo's right, now's really not the time to go solo, Rambo; Don doesn't need anyone else to take care of."

"Why the hell d'you think I'd need taken care of afterwards? It's just the Foot. Even you could take 'em alone."

I looked forward to the day I could skin Raphael myself for his words…just as I mourned the days when no one would have spoken of the Foot with such blatant disrespect.

"Of course I could, I'm the Battle Nexus Champion!"

"Guys. That's enough. We've still got another group to deal with, and we're going in nearly blind as it is. We really don't need you two giving them any warning that we're coming."

"What, would they use the extra two seconds of warnin' to suddenly develop skills or somethin'?"

"He's got a point, Leo. We're not exactly having a lot of trouble, even when it's just—just three of us."

"Still. On the off chance that they at least do have someone to watch their backs—then we need to keep moving. Come on."

The recording clicked off.

"Play in once more," I ordered. I stared hard at my desk, thinking over and engraving the words in my mind, listing the facts as I heard them. The rat was either hurt or ill, and seriously enough that he needed a nursemaid—seriously enough that Donatello did not accompany his brothers, not even into a fight. It was serious enough that Leonardo was cautious, and brusquer with his brothers than I normally heard, and even Michelangelo sounded—off, not quite himself, though I was loathe to be so familiar with their normal speech patterns to be able to tell the difference. The only one who stood out was Raphael, but that was to be expected; I had not ever seen him show emotion openly before, save for that one time aboard my father's ship, and even that was quickly shoved aside for violence—the same way he wanted to go after the rest of my forces now.

I glanced up. "Did they say anything else? Anything about going home?"

"We captured a second conversation when they—met up with the second group," my soldier said awkwardly, rightly embarrassed to admit their defeat in front of me. "It is not as long, however."

"Play it."

"Shouldn't we get these guys outta here?"

"It'll take too long. Just leave them. Besides, I think we've made our point, and we've got bigger issues to deal with."

"Can you guys argue as we leave? 'Cause I wanna get back. We've already been gone almost an hour, and Donnie's probably ready to build a robot army and send it after us."

"Leo?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

I couldn't help another burst of anger. This had been the best chance we were likely to have to gain critical information about the Turtles' newest rat hole, and yet nothing. It stood to figure, though; Leonardo was much too cautious to risk such information being overheard. He was not the kind to take chances; even though he couldn't have known any of my ninja were listening let alone recording their talk, he hadn't been willing to let Michelangelo finish speaking about their rat master. And yet, as always, he couldn't completely compensate for his brothers' mistakes. Raphael had asked if they should move the bodies of my men, which meant we were closer than they were comfortable with to their hideaway.

Leonardo must have waited until now to go after my patrols because while they had been out in the city for weeks, they had not been in the sewers. That had to have been what drove him to act, even with only three of them to fight. He had dismissed the idea of moving the bodies, but that couldn't counter the telling fact that they had attacked in the first place—a defensive maneuver. Also, Leonardo had to know that moving the bodies would have been the same as openly admitting I was too close.

The problem, however, was that he would feel the pressure now, which would complicate things. After he attacked me in my own home, following my attack on their home, I could no longer assume that they would flee after an assault the way they had with my father. I, apparently, did not instill the same amount of fear—yet they were still anxious. And cornered beasts were always dangerous. It was unlikely that they would be doing any patrols if it was just the three of them, which would allow me to pull my men from searching the city. Still, it would behoove me to expect more assaults like this one on my men, and to be on my guard for a visit from Leonardo; I had no doubt he would be disinclined to be merciful should he manage to reach me again.

I bit my lip. While it was encouraging to know that I could move ahead with a few…business ventures without fear of interference, this evening's events might spur Leonardo to act. He would know that I would pursue him…and what if he decided to end things quickly, rather than remaining on the defensive? I could afford interference even less than ever, what with the negotiation talks set to begin in a few days—talks I was beginning to see I might not be able to avoid. I would simply have to be more aggressive with the search of the sewers; the sooner I flushed them out, the sooner I would have time to try and salvage my company, and stave off the sharks that were circling.

"Give me the recording," I ordered. I had to go over it further, to ensure I had picked all the information possible from it. A Foot soldier shuffled forward to place the tape recorder into my hand, then slid back into position. "Take half of the remaining forces that are on city patrols and switch them to the sewers."

"But that will leave us with only the barest amount—"

"I am aware of that," I snapped. I knew it would leave too few men to hold too many blocks of the city, but the Turtles were the immediate concern, not the piddling numbers of gang members or mobsters that would move in on free territory. I did not appreciate the reminder that we were stretched far too thin. "It is a necessary risk."

Another soldier spoke up. "What of the searchers for deserters, mistress? Shall they be pulled into the search for the Turtles as well?"

"Since it's been five months since I ordered the deserters brought before me, and you have found only ten of the suspected two dozen, you are obviously not making any progress. Switch them to the sewer searches."

All of them bowed at the ice in my voice. "Yes, mistress. We apologize."

I restrained a snort. Their seeming meekness was hardly enough to placate me, not when soldiers deserted the clan, and those who remained thought themselves fit to speak without my permission. "That is all. Go deal with the preparations." I waited for them to leave, slipping the door closed behind them, before I sighed.

Everything kept going downhill. Because of the state of the company, I lacked the time to train my ninja, to test their skills personally and deal with deserters myself. And though I trusted my lieutenants, as it were, they could only do so much, and there were obviously not a multitude of options in New York for new recruits. And so my forces continued to embarrass me, where once I could take pride in them.

Everything was falling apart; I wondered if I'd have anything left at all in a month's time. If my company was lost, what would I do? Seek to reclaim it? I had all the proof I needed right in front of me that I lacked the business savvy for that. If I was left with nothing but the Foot, I would certainly have the time to hone them to the weapon they used to be—but I was Oroku Karai, and I was disinclined to lose anything to anyone.

I didn't want to think about it. I would keep what I had, so that I never had to find out where I would be, what I would do, if I lost everything.

---

April

A knock on the door had me looking up from my sword practice. I didn't know who it could be; the guys normally gave some warning when they were gonna stop by—which happened unpleasantly infrequently now that they were so busy—and I couldn't think of anyone else who be visiting so early on the weekend. "Casey! Can you get that?"

"I got a face full of the underside of our sink, babe!" Casey hollered from somewhere in the bathroom. "Little busy here!"

Of course he would choose now to work on the leaky sink, as opposed to any time I'd asked him that week.

I made a face and sheathed my sword, setting it down on the sword rack I'd bought on a trip to Japan, then opened the door. I smiled at our visitor. "Raph! I wasn't expecting you!" I pulled him into a hug; a few months wasn't enough time to get over how different it felt to hug the guys now, and I was used to seeing them much more frequently than I had recently. "How are you doing?"

Raph shrugged, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind him; it still boggled me how tall he'd grown, and how much more space he took up now. "Fine. Work's been goin' well, though you've prob'ly heard that through Case. We've been stayin' busy, and things have been…good lately." He jerked his head across the street to a neighboring rooftop that was often occupied by peeping toms of a ninja nature. "You been havin' visitors still?"

I made a face. "Occasionally. They're still not doing anything but watching, and Casey goes over and beats them up whenever he thinks about it. They've actually been there a lot less often lately, though I'm not complaining."

He nodded. "Good. How're you doin'?"

"I'm doing well. I actually had a collector come through the shop the other day and pay top-dollar for the porcelain collection I found in Venezuela, which made for a good week."

"Cool."

I pushed him lightly towards the couch. "Have a seat, and I'll grab some snacks. Do you want anything to drink?"

"You got any beer?"

I rolled my eyes. Only he and Casey would ask such a question at noon on a Sunday. "Why yes, I do have some freshly-made lemonade."

"Ain't I lucky." Raph's voice was dry as the Sahara, and I launched an oven mitt at the back of his head, satisfied when it walloped him. "You've spent way too much time around Leo an' Master Splinter," he complained.

I raised an eyebrow at Raph as I handed him a glass of lemonade and set a plate of gingerbread cookies on the table in front of us. "I'm going to assume you mean my habit of trying to keep you in line, because I know for a fact that Master Splinter never threw things at you."

Raph grinned. "What, throwin' stars don't count?"

I had to laugh, and watched him out of the corner of my eye as he helped himself to some cookies. He looked good, but I could tell something was bothering him; all his normal mannerisms had transferred to his human body. The tense set of his shoulders, the tick in his jaw, and the way his hands kept fisting unconsciously, it all said that Raph had something on his mind. Plus, of all his brothers, Raph had never been one to show up at my door just for small talk, no matter how close we were; he just didn't have the patience for it, among other things. Still, I was touched that he'd come to me to talk. If he was here, it had to be something big. I sat back against the couch, figuring I had better settle in for a long haul, since things often had to build up for a while to drive Raph to want to talk them out rather than run them off. "So what's wrong?"

He slumped a little, looking glum to be figured out. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to someone with eyes," I teased gently. "Really, Raph, what's going on?"

Raph sighed, rolling his glass in between his hands. "It's nothin' that's really wrong," he said quietly, not looking at me. "It's just stupid stuff. Some dumb dream that got me all bothered for no freakin' good reason."

"Tell me about it."

To my surprise, he did. He explained their plan to throw Karai off for as long as possible, how he, Leo and Mikey had gone into the sewers to deal with the Foot patrols Don had found, and the dream he'd had the night before. I kept an ear tuned towards the bathroom, making sure Casey wasn't coming; Raph was possessive of his tough-guy act, and I knew he'd be embarrassed to have Casey hear him talking about his dream, never mind how much they'd been through together. Raph finished and glared at his shoes, still not willing to look at me.

I sipped my own drink, mulling things over. Leo's plan sounded like a good one, though I was worried about the long-term, and frustrated that the guys had had so little time to themselves before trouble started up again. But this was about Raph, and I had to focus on that for the time being. I set my glass down, scooting closer to him. "Do you want to know what I think? I mean, if you're willing to listen to some psychoanalysis mumbo-jumbo."

"Yeah, sure."

"You're scared," I said carefully, squeezing his arm in warning when he tried to interrupt. "You're afraid that you're going to lose Leo back to the shadows of the past. You're afraid he'll stop trying. In your dream, you're standing closest to the light not just because that's how it was in the reality of this scenario, but also because you're subconsciously already allying yourself with the light, casting your vote for the surface world, as it were. You see yourself as the—the lure for Leo, the embodiment of what the surface world has to offer. Does that make sense?"

Raph frowned, not saying anything. I took the lack of overt disagreement as a sign to continue.

"When the light starts disappearing, let's say it's a—a symbol of your doubt, doubt that you're a good enough substitute," I said. "You're worried that the possibility of a new life with you and the others isn't good enough for Leo, that he'll prefer your old life because he's more comfortable there. You lunge for the ladder and Leo at the last minute because even with as much as you want to stay by Leo's side, you can't stay in the darkness any more. And when Leo disappears…that part's pretty clear; you think he'll choose the past over you. Not just this new life, not just the three of you, but you personally."

Raph dropped his face into his hands. "It's stupid, I know, but—shit, April, it felt real as hell."

I gently took one of his wrists and tugged until I could grip his hand in my own. "But you know how it can't be real?"

"No."

"There are lots of reasons," I insisted. "First, this is based on your fear that Leo will stop trying, will slip back and away. But think about it; when has Leo ever stopped trying at anything? Especially when it's something important to or regarding the three of you?" I squeezed his hand. "Leo's one of the most stubborn people we know, and you of all people know that the best."

He snorted ruefully, but still didn't say anything.

I kept going. "And secondly, when has Leo ever wanted anything other than to just stay with you guys and look after you? I don't think he's ever once chosen himself, his desires, over the three of you. If he has, I certainly haven't seen it. And Raph…more than anything, I think Leo's wanted to reconnect with you for years; the separation while you grew up and apart hurt you both. He'd never walk away from that, especially not in the way that you saw."

Raph's shoulders came down a little bit, and he squeezed my hand back once, but he still stayed quiet.

It was so hard to see that doubt in Raph. I was used to him always being so bold and self-confident and yes, even cocky at times. Seeing him questioning whether he was enough of a reason for Leo to stay—when he'd always had such doubts about measuring up anyways—it was painful.

"Raph?" I pressed quietly. "Talk to me."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Look, I knew it was a stupid dream anyways," he muttered. "But—thanks. It's just…I can't—I don't think I know how to do this, April," he said finally, his voice frustrated.

"Do what?"

"I don't know how to be Leo for Leo, to do for him what he tried to do for me when we were growin' up. I don't know what to say an' do to keep 'im from fallin' apart." He snorted darkly. "All those years I thought I could do it better, but April—I don't know how to do this."

"But you're going to anyway," I said with a soft smile. "I know you, Raph; you don't ever run from challenges. Maybe your approach is a little—rough sometimes, but you always mean well. And that's how I know you'll manage somehow. Not just because you promised Master Splinter that you'd look after Leo, but because he's your brother and you want him with you all the way. Just…just be that light for him, Raph; show him what all he can have now that you couldn't in your old life. You can't make Leo find himself, any more than you could make him choose this life, but just keep offering him a hand up if he stumbles and someone to walk with, and I think that'll be enough." I hugged him tightly. "Leo's always oriented himself off of the three of you; he'll find himself beside you again, I know it."

He gave me a quick squeeze in return, and I sat back before I started to make him claustrophobic. "Thanks, April. Really."

I smiled. "Anytime. And I mean that, Raph. If you need to talk, I'm always here to listen."

"I'll prob'ly have to take you up on that," he muttered.

If that wasn't a lead-in, I didn't know what was. "Trouble on the home front?"

He scowled. "It's Donnie. Th' little nerd's just bein' so damn stubborn." I bit my lip as he looked over at me with a glare. "Yeah, I get that it's funny, pot an' kettle an' all that. Go ahead, yuk it up."

I shook my head, swallowing a laugh. "I didn't say a word," I said, hiding a grin. "What's he being stubborn about?"

"He still doesn't wanna believe anything's gonna happen. He didn't even come with us on this run, just stayed home to be our eyes an' everything. And yeah, that was helpful an' worked out to give us a good cover story, but I know that ain't the real reason why he did it. He doesn't even want to practice with me or Leo or Mike, either; he says he does some work with his bo in his spare time, but that's it. An' now somethin' really is happenin', and he doesn't want us to get involved." Raph stood up to pace, frustration in every line of his body. "I get that there's no good way to deal with this, I do. We're potentially screwed if we do anythin', an' potentially screwed if we don't. But either way, we gotta own up to the fact that this is our life, this is the kinda stuff we have to deal with. Pretendin' it isn't is only gonna come back to bite us in the shell." He threw up his hands. "I mean, hell, we've been model freakin' citizens this whole time, and this stuff is still startin' up. He's supposed to be a genius; why can't he see that it's proof that we can't get past who we were?"

Well. Whatever I'd been expecting, it hadn't been that. And yet, in a way, it made sense. "Raph, have you ever known Donnie to like being proved wrong?"

He looked at me, confused. "What? No. Well, s'not like it really happens all that often."

"Exactly." I leaned back on the couch, nibbling a cookie as I thought. "This is kind of Donnie's pet project. He's the one who coordinated everything, set everything up, went over every scenario and every loophole—supposedly." I smiled ruefully. "Unfortunately, a loophole has sprung up, and suddenly the Foot are back in your lives. This is after he said that it'd be safer, that you guys would be harder to find as humans."

"He's right," Raph said grudgingly. "I mean, we are safer. An' the Foot aren't even back, they're just…a little too close."

"Still, Donnie might feel frustrated that for all his planning, he couldn't avoid or prevent this," I said carefully. Don and Raph were so different, oil and water, that it was difficult to make them understand each other. "And Raph…you know he's always wanted to just have things be at peace. It can't be easy to see that threatened after such a short time."

Raph scowled and dropped back down on the couch. "I know. And I get that. I even get that maybe, stayin' out of things might keep all of this from startin' up again. Maybe. But if he's so worried about things gettin' messed up, you'd think he'd be more willin' to take steps to make sure they don't get messed up, 'stead of just leavin' it to chance."

I nodded slowly. "You've got a point, Raph. But to be fair, there are a few times in your past when leaving well enough alone would have saved you a lot of trouble."

He hitched one shoulder, not willing to outright agree that I might be right. "Maybe."

"Probably," I countered. I grabbed the plate and our cups, taking them into the kitchen, and rinsed them off while I thought. "Tell you what," I called back over my shoulder. "Send Don over, and I'll talk to him. Tell him I want him to look over some coding for me. I can try and talk to him, see if I can't find out what's really bothering him."

"I can think of a whole list of reasons that wouldn't be a good idea," Raph replied warningly. "If he knows I asked ya—"

"I mean that I'll do it subtly," I retorted. "Unlike some people I know, I am fully capable of being subtle."

Raph settled again. "I'm just sayin', he hits hard an' yells loud for a nerd," he pointed out.

I laughed. It was good to see Raph had developed a healthy respect for Don over the years; it'd serve to keep him in line, and keep things calmer between them.

A knock on the door interrupted what I was about to say; I was surprised at how popular I was all of a sudden. "Who is it?"

A familiar voice wafted through the door. "It's Don. I, uh, need to talk to you about something."

I glanced over at the couch, only to see Raph was already slipping out the window, tossing me a goodbye salute as he closed the window quietly behind him and made his way down the fire escape. I rolled my eyes. Only men, and brothers, at that, would think it made sense to leave out a window rather than just greet each other. Raph had a perfectly good reason to be here, just as much as Don did, but did he stop to think about that? No. I could appreciate that he was trying to keep his concerns private, not wanting to explain to Don what he'd been here to talk to me about, but really.

Men.

"Just a sec!" I called. I dumped the used dishes and glasses in the sink, then hurried to open the door. Don stood on the other side, looking just as he had some of the dozens of times he'd stood outside my window: shoulders creeping up around his ears, one hand at the back of his head as he grinned sheepishly. As if I'd ever turned him away.

(Okay, other than on date nights.)

"Don, come in! How are you doing?" I was determined to act normally, and while I wouldn't mention that Raph had been there—because I knew he wanted to maintain his reputation and not draw any attention to Leo—I wasn't going to lie about him being there either. I just…had to (grudgingly) admit that it would let me avoid a lot of hassle if Don didn't know what Raph had been here for.

He shrugged. "I'm fine. A little—I've got a lot on my plate, but other than that I'm alright."

I frowned. Don wasn't one to admit that things were bothering him without a little bit of cajoling; he'd never been one to complain, though he was more open and easier to get talking than Leo or Raph. Mikey, of course, never had trouble opening up. To hear Don say he was bothered by something…well, I wasn't expecting two of the guys to show up at my door with problems in one day, to say the least. Though the fact that it was roommates who had shown up—that was more understandable. "What's wrong?" I asked as I led him to the couch, pushing the cookies slightly out of reach and handing Don a pencil. Don had a tendency to fiddle with things while he talked, or was nervous, and there was no reason to let him shred perfectly good cookies.

Don opened his mouth, then closed it, glancing at me sidelong. "Do you want the reason I came here, or the long version?"

"Both."

He blew out a breath. "Okay. Well, I know it probably won't surprise you a whole lot to hear that things are…a little weird still, in terms of adjustments."

I actually was surprised to hear that; of all the guys, next to Mikey, I expected Donnie to acclimate the best. "Really? What, at work or something?"

Don shook his head. "No, at home. As usual."

I nodded. "Raph."

There was the familiar exasperated expression I was used to. "Yeah. Raph. And it's not—don't get me wrong, I'm not saying things are bad, not like how we used to get along. He just…his temper and his hotheadedness and his tendency to solve problems with his fists, they all make it seem like that's all there is to him. And even though I know better, even I get fooled sometimes, and think that he doesn't go any deeper. I forgot how much he can see of people, and how he just prods at what he sees until he gets a reaction. He's always directed that at Leo over the years, for the most part, to the point that I don't think I quite realized what it'd be like to have all that attention on me. I mean, I knew we wouldn't mesh perfectly, living together, but—"

He gestured haphazardly, a hand-shrug that was so familiar to him. It was oddly comforting to still see all these gestures in the guys; it made it easier to remind myself that it was still them, even in strange new bodies.

"Are you fighting?" I asked hesitantly. I knew what Raph had said of the situation, and I wanted to get Don's perspective; what Raph considered a disagreement or an argument, most people would consider a fight—but for Raph, fights normally involved fists, not words. Everything less physical than that was often just "talking," in his mind.

"No. Yeah. Maybe? I don't know," Don sighed. "Sometimes any kind of conversation with Raph feels like fighting. It's about our acclimation to our new lives. I'm trying to keep things separate, to make sure that I don't draw any attention. It's safest that way; we're already anomalies just by entering society the way that we did. Making spectacles of ourselves is the exact opposite of helpful."

"Did Raph do something?"

"Well—no, he didn't," Don admitted. "He just—he doesn't understand that there's no harm in being careful. He's never understood that. Raph still sees caution as cowardice. Except in Leo, then it's just fussiness, or over-protectiveness, or whatever. But me…just because I want to be careful, he thinks I'm going to extremes."

I raised an eyebrow. "You've got to give me examples here, Donnie; you're being pretty vague."

"I didn't go with them into the sewers."

I caught myself before I started to nod, not wanting Don to know I already knew the story. "When?"

"The other night," Don murmured. He examined his knuckles as he rehashed the story, Leo's plan, how everything had gone down, and his involvement—or lack thereof.

It was reassuring to hear basically the same account from Don that I had from Raph; knowing neither of them was blowing the other's actions out of proportion was a definite improvement from their teenage years. But as always, the guys were never as quick to see their similarities as they were to see their differences.

"I have to say, Don, your idea made sense. But was that the only reason you stayed behind, so you could run surveillance?"

He wavered for a minute, then sighed. I hid a smile; Don was so scrupulously honest that he couldn't lie if he tried. "No," he admitted softly. "I don't—this is a real chance for us, April, a real chance to move on from what our life was. I'm not saying it was all horrible, or that Master Splinter's teachings didn't keep us alive—but because we had those skills, we got into a lot of trouble, mainly because we knew we could survive it. What I want to move away from is the danger, the fights, taking on old enemies, the constant risk of being exposed or losing our home. But it feels like I'm the only one who understands that sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. So I stayed behind, I guess as—as kind of a boycott. Master Splinter challenged me to be my own person, to stop being ashamed that I tend to side more with defense than offense…I'm not sure if he meant breaking away from Raph and Leo and Mikey…"

He broke off, biting his lip. "He probably didn't. Sensei has always said we're meant to fight together, that that's when we're strongest. But still, I can't make them quit, any more than I can make myself want to pick back up with the fighting. The risks are bigger now, if we get caught or found out, and I don't want to lose this."

I nibbled on a cookie as I thought. I understood where Don was coming from, because after losing my home once, and countless nights wondering if Casey and the guys would come back safe, I definitely understood the wisdom of lying low. At the same time, though, I had to say that I agreed with Raph on this one—a lack of involvement might lead to more problems than it would solve. "Do you think that they might have a point?" I asked carefully. "You know Leo doesn't take unnecessary risks."

Don sighed. "I know. I think that's what bothers me the most."

"What?"

"That Leo was right, about everything. About Karai's reactions to us falling off the radar, about what she'd do, what steps she'd take, everything. He got it all right."

I could feel my eyebrows knit; I was pretty justifiably confused. "Well, he is the most familiar with how she thinks. Did you want him to be wrong?"

"I…no. Maybe. Not so that I would be right or anything, but because if he was right, then that would mean things would start back up again. And now they have. And as much as I didn't want to get caught up in this again, I am. I have to be, because I can't just leave my brothers to go off and do these…guerilla assaults on their own, even if I don't want to be involved."

Poor Don. Sometimes I wondered if Master Splinter knew just how torn Don felt sometimes, between the gentleness that was in his nature, and the training that was in his blood. I took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Don, as much as I know you hate to hear it, you've never not been caught up in this, not even during the lull of the past months. Ever since you guys first fought the Shredder, battle has been an integral part of your lives, just like has been a part of mine since I met you guys." I held up a hand as he opened his mouth, forestalling the apology I knew was coming. "And I chose that, Donnie, just like Casey did, because we feel the benefits outweigh the risks. We consider you guys and Master Splinter, your friendship and the family you've given both of us, to be worth the danger. That's why we stick with you, and why we both keep training." I thought of the first time I'd met the guys, of the fight at my old apartment, when I'd been essentially useless during the battle. "I don't ever want to be a burden again, or be something to be used as leverage, and neither does Casey. And as unpleasant of a truth as it is, the fact still remains that sometimes you have to fight for things you shouldn't have to. It's been that way in every war; everyone deserves peace and equal treatment, but you always have to fight for it first."

Don fell silent, staring at the floor for several moments before he nodded. "I know," he said quietly. "I think I've known all along that this was more than just a possibility, but I guess—I guess I thought if I ignored it, pretended it wasn't, it'd go away. I just—the first real chance, April, and it only lasted this long. How is that fair?" He shook his head. "It's just—the way Raph went about it, like he always does, just made me want to work harder to prove him wrong. And I think, I think I expected Raph to understand. As stifled as he felt underground, being under Leo's thumb and Master Splinter's control, I would have thought that he'd want to just break free of all of that, and to understand how precious this new freedom is."

"Maybe what you need is to stop being the voice of reason."

Donnie looked gobsmacked. "What now?"

"Don, this is tearing you up so much because you think you have to be the voice of reason, because you don't think anyone else is fully considering the risks. But Leo is always careful, and I don't think Mikey or Raph are any more anxious to have things fall apart than you are. You've always been willing to step up to fight by their sides in the past; just stick with that, and trust them."

"But—but how am I supposed to stick with the past when everything's changed? Leo's not…he's not the leader any more. He's just our brother now."

I snorted. Only a bunch of guys who'd been competing with each other all their lives could find any merit in a distinction like that, in the supposed supremacy of titles. "Please, Don. Has that made him any less the oldest? Has it in any way changed his tendency to worry or plan or always try to be prepared? Did it in any way change the fact that when Leo laid out a plan, he covered everything, possibly even being a little extreme in his carefulness? Did it change the fact that you all followed him just like you have the past umpteen years?"

Don blinked, looking slightly sheepish. "Oh. No, I guess it hasn't," he mumbled slightly to the couch.

"Exactly." I nudged his head up with a knuckle. "Master Splinter telling you guys to act more like a family than a clan doesn't take the 'leader' moniker from Leo any more than it takes the 'ninja' one from all of you. You are who you are and who you were raised to be. My guess is that Master Splinter made that designation in order to get you guys to start thinking differently, to see yourselves as more, not to break apart everything you've known. It might be his way of subtly saying that you can live your new lives however you want. You're all still the same people you were a few months ago, just in different packaging." I patted his hand. "You can trust Leo to still be on guard, just like you can trust Raph and Mikey to always have your backs. But remember how he got after the incident on the Shredder's ship, Don; there's reasonable caution, when it comes to protecting the people and things you love, and then there's irrational paranoia. I know that you know better than I do which one drove Leo away from everyone, even himself."

Don paled slightly, looking like I'd just t-boned him with a semi. I might have pushed the envelope a little, but I wanted to get him to stop and really look at things, beyond his fear. One of the curses of Donnie's mind was that he couldn't turn it off, not even when it came to himself; he couldn't help seeing how things could go wrong, any more than he could help psychoanalyzing himself.

"I get it," he said quietly. "It's just…I can't help feeling I'm responsible for this, since I'm the one who argued for it and everything. And…I feel like I'm not supposed to just dump everything on Leo any more either; he needs to make his own life. He's not going to be able to do that if he keeps letting everything from the past drag him down."

"But neither are you, Don," I pointed out. "I won't say I disagree with you, but did you ever stop to think that maybe it's kind of comforting for Leo to have something from your old life that's still the same? I agree that he needs to let go of some of the pressure and learn to live for himself more, but that's going to take time. In the meantime, though, he has to have something familiar to ground him, or he's going to be too busy trying to stay afloat to even care about making any kind of quality life for himself."

He nodded slowly, and I could tell he was thinking over everything I'd said. I could tell some of it got across when some of the tense lines around his eyes eased a little, and he squeezed my hand slightly. "Thanks, April."

I smiled and hugged him around the shoulders. "Anytime, Donnie. And remember, what I said goes for you too; if you spend all your time fighting to keep from letting the Karai problem destroy things, it's going to do that anyway. Raph's got a point; if you walk on eggshells the whole time, trying everything you can to keep from drawing any attention to yourself for fear of ruining this new life, you're losing it anyway. You'd be letting this threat turn this new life into just another place to hide, rather than a place to really live."

As much as I didn't want to be in the middle of things, taking sides or juggling two (supposedly) adult men, having heard both sides of the issue did make it easier to make Don see where Raph was coming from—now that I knew myself. And I'd never promised not to use what Raph had told me; though I'd never betray his confidence by telling Don outright what he'd said, I could hint at things, and let Don draw his own conclusions about how I'd figured them out.

It was hard to keep from smiling at Don's face after I finished; he looked positively offended to realize that in his effort not to let Karai interfere with things, it was happening anyway—and even more offended that Raph had been right. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right." His jaw firmed slightly. "I get that I need to balance things, but—but I'm not going to bend on this, April. I admit we need to do something, but I'm still not going to endorse constantly rising to Karai's bait. We need another way. If we're supposed to be humans, we need to act like it. We need to beat Karai in the human sphere, publicly, so there's no way she can drag us down with her."

He had a good point, but I couldn't help but wish that they could have been spared all of this. "What you guys need is a break from being chased by psychos," I said tiredly.

Don laughed, and it was good to hear it. I loved the guys to death, and Donnie had always held a special place in my heart for being a fellow geek, but I could see why they had so many issues even with what should have been a dream come true; their problems were exhausting. I nudged him. "So when you got here, you asked whether I wanted to hear about the long version of things, or why you really came here. I'm guessing all that was the long version, so what's up?"

I got treated to one of the most hysterically endearing sights ever as Donnie blushed until he looked like he was running a fever. "Oh. That. Well, um, I—kind of need some advice. I have a…date. Wednesday night. And I don't know what to do."

I couldn't help it. As soon as my surprise faded, I squealed. Loudly. The thought of Don on a date—it was adorable.

Of course, that moment was ruined by a loud thud and quite a bit of swearing from the bathroom, quickly followed by Casey stumbling out, brandishing a wrench. "What? What's wrong?" he asked, his hair askew and a somewhat frenetic look in his eyes. "Somethin' better be on fire or need an ass-kickin' if you're makin' those kinds of noises." He blinked at the sight of us just sitting on the couch. "Oh, hey Don."

"Casey! Casey, Don's going on a date!"

He blinked, then grinned. "Hey, way to go, man!" He slapped Don a high-five, then paused. "Wait, that's what the screamin' was about? I about cracked my head open, an' you're fine?"

I waved him off. "You've survived worse head trauma, you big baby."

Casey scowled, headin' back for the bathroom. "My own wife," he trailed off, muttering to himself.

Don coughed slightly. "Uh, actually Casey, if it's not too much trouble? Uh, it'd be really helpful to, uh…get a guy's perspective. On dating. If that's not too weird." He swallowed. "Please don't make me ask my brothers. Even besides the fact that they don't have any more experience than I do…please don't make me ask my brothers."

Casey paused, glanced at the bathroom, and shrugged. "Ah hell, it ain't like I was havin' any fun anyways." He plopped down in the chair. "'Kay. So whadda ya want to know?"

I flapped a hand at him. "Casey, we need the story first!"

Don stumbled his way through their night at the bar, how he'd met Nikki—who sounded like a great match for him—and their plans for Wednesday. Then he just kind of sat there, looking kicked-puppy hopeful. I cleared my throat and leaned forward; I'd be all talked out by the end of this, but I was glad to talk about something happy, rather than the danger the guys might soon be in and how to deal with it. Besides, it'd be worth it to make Don's first date perfect.

---

Donatello

The more time that went by, the more I was convinced that we were never going to be able to repay April and Casey for all the help they'd given us over the years.

Getting any advice at all about dating would have been a huge relief, and the fact that it was coming from April was twice as good; I trusted her like family, because she was. And I knew she would give me an honest, if exhaustive, list without any questions or teasing—except for the frequent, beaming smiles; and to be perfectly honest, I don't think she even realized she was doing that after a while.

She'd given me a rundown of just about everything, even stuff I'd never thought to ask about; what to wear, what kinds of flowers I should bring, how to deal with calling dibs on the check, and even some things to talk about. Casey had mostly nodded and agreed with everything she said, though he did have a couple tips of his own to add, which had actually been surprisingly helpful—what not to say, to not to try too hard, and at which point he'd found that most women considered chivalry to become chauvinism.

I won't lie and say I didn't go home and take notes on everything they said.

One of the many benefits of this date was that preparing for it had left me too busy—and anxious—to think about much of anything else, especially the talk I'd had with April. I appreciated having had the chance to work through everything and talk to someone who I knew would just listen, but at the same time…I really wished she hadn't said that Raph was right.

It was awkward enough thinking it myself; I didn't need someone else to confirm it.

I had, maybe, taken a slightly defensive position when it came to how I thought we should deal with things. And now…I could see what April meant in terms of taking things too far. So I was willing to adjust my thinking a little, because I could admit that any quirks we displayed were likely to be written off by our fellow neighbors, because everyone in this city seemed to expect everyone else to be weird.

But I still wasn't willing to bend in terms of how we would go after them. There was always someone watching everything in the city, because people were curious, and in New York especially, gossip and drama were what mattered. If we weren't careful, someone would see a trio of black-clad guys disappearing into the sewers, then reappearing hours later. Knowing our luck, they'd think we were terrorists, and the resulting fustercluck would be epic and inescapable. Besides, dancing to Karai's tune, just reacting defensively to her sewer patrols, wasn't going to help us. Yes, I could admit it would maintain Leo's deception, and be more than a little believable, but it was also just reaction; we'd never stay ahead of them that way. With as many people as she had, it wouldn't take long for her to scour the sewers, and then our pretense would be blown.

Which meant I had to keep doing what I was doing. I'd been tuning my surveillance equipment to the signal station that Leo had recorded from the Foot transmissions, and I was keeping a recording set there at all times. My next batch of viruses was ready to go out, and I was planning to slip over to the library later tonight to upload the next one. Breaking Karai down without a trace was still the best plan. It would keep her attention away from April and Casey, as well as us, and it would keep her occupied until I had collected enough information about her to give the police and bring her down.

I hadn't mentioned my plan to April, though I did want someone to look over things and point out any loopholes I might have missed. But more than that, I didn't want them involved; they were already in danger, what with the Foot spies that Karai still had set on their apartment. I'd just decided that I had to content myself with April's advice regarding my date, and there was definitely plenty of it.

Still, all the advice in the world didn't make things any less terrifying by the time Wednesday night rolled around. And even though I'd wanted to be punctual, getting to the restaurant ten minutes early had not helped my nerves at all; I just sat there pleating my napkin and nearly giving myself whiplash every time the door opened.

I swallowed nervously as I straightened my napkin again. I'd practically memorized the list of potential topics that April had given me, but I had a sinking feeling that I'd been losing a few every hour. What on Earth was I supposed to talk about?

The door opened again, and I glanced up to see Nikki walk in. Some of my concern disappeared even as the knot in my stomach grew tighter. I stood and waved hesitantly, my face warm as she smiled and walked towards me.

She looked great. I was glad I'd worn something nice, because she had decided on a loose, flowing skirt that drifted around her knees—she had really (intimidating) nice legs—and a blouse. And—I had to fight a grin—flip-flops. Suddenly she seemed a lot more human—no pun intended.

I smiled as she reached the table, fighting the sudden, inexplicable urge to offer a handshake. She smiled up at me. "Hello."

"Hi." I suddenly remembered myself and pulled her chair out for her. "You look nice."

"Thank you. So do you." Her mouth twisted a little. "That could have been a lot odder if you'd said I look pretty, and I'd replied the same."

I grinned. "I'd probably take it as a compliment just the same."

Nikki tilted her head to the side, and I found myself thinking of birds suddenly. "You're rather unsettled, aren't you?"

My first instinct was to deny it, but if it was that obvious, there was no point. "This is all very new to me."

"You're used to having everything planned out?"

If only she knew. "Well—yes, probably. It's a hazard of being cerebrally-oriented."

She nodded. "You should try being a little more spontaneous. It's good to push your boundaries."

I blinked. She sounded like an odd combination of Raph and April. "Probably, but it's not that easy."

Nikki shrugged. "Neither is computing situational probabilities, but you probably do that on a regular basis." Something seemed to occur to her. "Are you busy next Saturday? If not, I'll take you with me."

That sounded kind of ominous, though I was flattered to be asked out again—four minutes into our first date.

(…Was that normal?)

"Take me where?"

Nikki just smiled. "You'll find out if you come along."

I was used to getting taunts and challenges from my brothers; it was a hazard of siblings everywhere. Usually I was good at saying no and saving myself potential embarrassment and/or bodily harm. However, Nikki was a lot more attractive than my brothers. "Alright," I agreed. "It's a deal."

"Excellent. So tell me about your brothers. You mentioned them, but I only met Raph."

I spent the rest of the night describing my family, and given their personalities, it was easy to just talk about them, not what they did. I described Mikey's optimism, Leo's steadfast cool head, and Raph's inimitable stubbornness. In turn, Nikki revealed she was an only child, something I could scarcely wrap my head around, and talked about her parents. My coverage of Master Splinter was a bit vague, and I was glad that Nikki didn't seem to have any lack of conversation topics.

Still, when we had finished our meals and were heading out of the restaurant, I was surprised to realize how much I'd said. I'd kept track mentally, making sure I didn't say too much, but even then I'd basically told Nikki my family history—the edited version, at least. I steered the topic towards her, asking about her schooling as I walked her home. We skirted the edge of Central Park, taking the outmost walking paths as we made our way back to her apartment. It was the perfect evening, and just like on my first day of work, I had to stay focused in order not to be distracted by how surreal everything was. Instead, I squeezed Nikki's hand where it was tucked into mine, somehow unsurprised when she turned the conversation back towards me.

I glanced up in time to pull us to the side as a rather careless and unobservant biker went past, glad for the distraction. "I feel like you're trying to profile me," I said teasingly.

Nikki blinked. "I am," she replied honestly, not noticing the way my fists clenched in instinctive paranoia. "You're very different from other people, in how you carry yourself, speak and act. You're…you're an anomaly. You kind of confuse me, to be honest. And I want to know why I can't figure you out; I'm normally better at it. I'm not trying to be nosy, but I've always enjoyed solving puzzles." She carefully took my hands. "If I push too far, though, let me know. It doesn't occur to me sometimes, but not everyone minds unanswered questions. If there's anything you want to know about me, feel free to ask."

I met her eyes, thinking. I'd never met anyone like her, with her blunt honesty and shameless curiosity, and an intellect that matched my own. Still, I couldn't help thinking that there was a danger attached to being involved with someone as bright and inquisitive as Nikki; in just a few seconds of meeting Raph, she'd openly confronted us about being "adoptive" siblings. If she confronted me about other things down the road, would I be able to lie to her, convincingly? I hated lying to people if I didn't have to, and I really didn't want to lie to Nikki. But given what truths my particular "puzzle" would reveal, I could stand to be cautious. Still…that kind of a challenge was piquing my interest. Who would win, between the two of us? Could I keep her in the dark, letting her get to know me without giving the big things away, or would she figure me out? As much as I was worried about people looking too closely at our past and our cover story, Nikki intrigued me too much to consider the risk to exceed the benefit. Besides, April was right; I needed to live my life without considering how everything could be a threat to our secrecy.

I wrapped my fingers around her other hand. "There is one question."

Nikki nodded slowly. "What is it?"

There was no helping my smile. "What should I bring on Saturday?"

Her responding smile was definitely worth it, and she tucked herself under my arm as we resumed walking. "Old shoes. Clothes you don't mind getting dirty." She looked up and smoothed my hair down, something she'd been doing all night. "Also probably a hat, to keep your hair out of the way."

Well, that didn't sound too dangerous or potentially awkward. Maybe it was just a hiking trip or something. "Got it."

I couldn't help being both relieved and disappointed by the time we reached her door, because as much as I didn't want the night to be over, I kept expecting something to go horribly wrong, or to suddenly screw up. I usually only had this kind of stress when dealing with reactive chemicals.

Nikki lived in a cute little brownstone, and I walked her up to the door, wondering what on earth I was supposed to say or do next. I didn't think it was appropriate to try and kiss her, or to ask to come in, but maybe I was misreading cues or something.

Nikki saved me by taking matters into her own hands. She leaned up to kiss me on the cheek, smoothed my hair one more time, and stepped back. "I had a great time, Don."

I swallowed, trying to find my voice. "I did too. It was really great."

She smiled softly. "Give me a call sometime next week and I'll let you know when and where to meet me on Saturday."

"Got it."

Nikki nodded and let herself into the building, turning to wave at me. I watched until the door closed behind her, then stumbled down the steps, sighing with the tension relief.

Wow. Just…geez.

I was probably an excellent target for a mugging on my way home, because I honestly don't remember much of the walk, too focused on replaying the memory of Nikki's lips against my skin. I kept waiting to wake up, to find myself in the Lair with a shell and three fingers, all of this having been some sort of long, drawn-out fever dream.

I let myself into the apartment quietly, not sure if Raph would be asleep or not, and pressed the door shut carefully, setting my keys by the door. It wasn't that late, to be fair, but it never hurt to be courteous.

My heart nearly stopped as I turned around to see all three of my brothers sitting on the couch, Mikey and Raph grinning like idiots, Leo looking put-upon.

They didn't waste any time.

"Do you have any idea how late it is, young man?" Mikey demanded, wagging a finger at me. "This is not the hour at which a gentleman brings a lady home!"

Raph just sniggered.

My brothers were idiots.

I ignored them and headed for my room, running the last few steps as I heard feet behind me, and slammed my door shut, grateful I had a lock.

Of course, being that my door wasn't soundproof, I still wasn't spared.

"We shoulda checked his shirt collar for lipstick."

"So since you've got the long hair, who paid for dinner?"

"Guys, can't you just—"

"Did anything happen, Donnie? She didn't try to take advantage of you, did she? Remember to tell her that no means no!"

"If you said no, I ain't your brother anymore."

"Mike! Raph! That's totally inappropriate!"

I fell on my bed and crammed my pillows over my ears, trying to muffle them. I could still hear them squabbling and yelling "advice" as Leo dragged them away, and reminded myself to do something nice for him soon.

For the moment, though, I was busy remembering how Nikki had smelled like coconut when she'd kissed me. I'd never had any particular attachment to the scent before, but now—

Suddenly, even through the pillows, I could hear "Tale as Old as Time" from Beauty and the Beast start blaring from the living room, and Mikey's voice—he must have escaped Leo—back at my door.

"Just remember, Don, the Beast had a ponytail too, and everything went great for him! Don't give up hope, you can still—" He broke off with a choke, and a muttered "Sorry, Don" from Leo as he dragged the idiot off.

I pressed the pillows closer. Apparently my life was turning in to a romantic comedy.

Suddenly Nikki's status as an only child was sounding a lot better.

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A/N: That was a fun chapter. Long, but I doubt anyone will complain. I tried to balance the insane amount of talking with some action, so hopefully that helped; Donnie kind of took over after a while. The guy had a lot on his mind. :b

And just a note, no, the random OC is not gonna show up again; he was just there to serve as an outsider POV on the guys. The idea for that just kind of came to me, and I had a lot of fun with it, so you'll probably get other little blurbs like that, strangers' perceptions and views of the guys.

As always, reviews are appreciated and delightful! Let me know what you guys think, if everyone's in character, etc. I promise things will start moving along faster now, but things can't be all action, all the time; the guys' growth is a major part of this story. Please review, and thanks for reading!