Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

A/N: So this chapter will teach us a bit more about Bella. I know a lot of you have been frustrated with her, hopefully this will help with some of that. A warning, we do some POV jumping in this chapter, but I promise 75% of it is EPOV. ;) BIG thanks to my beta, ClaraBella75, who totally came through and got this chapter back to me before going away for the weekend. I'm damn lucky to have someone as dedicated as she is, and I love her dearly for all her hard work! Also I need to thank the ever fabulous Stella for creating a new banner for IRL. You can find it on the blog through a link on my profile. Alrighty, lets get on with the show, though, the camera's will be absent throughout this chapter. A nice little break for these two. *wink*

Chapter 10

Consequences In Yesterdays

~~*Edward*~~

Do I want to go watch her suck face with her new douchey back up boy toy?

Is she for real?

Although, if we were to handle this the same way she handled her 'relationships' back home, then that would mean she'd have to respect the fact that I would be in the same room. Thus, nothing more than cuddling and pop-kissing would take place.

I could handle that.

"Aro's going to be an hour or two, you can come keep Bella company," the newest member of Bella's fan club, Demetri, shared.

I looked at him, trying to figure out what his deal was, then glanced back at Bella, who was biting on that damn lip of hers again.

She wanted me to come, but she didn't want me to make her say it.

I was going to make her say it.

"Yeah, no. Have a good time, though," I mumbled making eye contact with her for a split second, then stood up to walk away, leaving her standing there with her arms crossed while I made my way towards a cute dirty blonde that had been eyeing me for the last half hour.

This was me throwing out the bait. Now we would wait to see if Bella would bite.

Fuck, she better bite.

"Edward!" she called out after me, and I was already smiling, but quick to clear that smile from my face before turning around to look at her.

"What's up?" I asked nonchalantly, leaning against the wall and crossing my arms in front of me.

"I want you to come."

"Do you?" I teased suggestively, then smirked. She punched me playfully in the shoulder and nodded her head.

"Everyone else is going to be with a buddy now, and I'll be stuck playing the fifth wheel if you make me go alone," she explained, pouting sarcastically.

"If I go, the same rules apply that you have at home with your other friends. That is, if I stay after Aro gets there, which is doubtful."

"Rules?" she seemed genuinely confused, almost as though I'd known about something I shouldn't have. The expression on her face made me both smile and want to pull her into me for a comforting hug. She was still getting used to the fact that I knew things about her, and I found the idea fucking adorable.

"Nothing more than cuddle action or pop kisses when your other friends are around, right?" I asked, refreshing her memory.

"Oh! Of course. I just need to talk to Aro first. I'm going to explain everything to him tonight. We can do it together, if you'd like," she teased, grinning, knowing there was no way in hell I'd sit in on that conversation.

"Fine, I'll come for a little while, then probably take off when he gets there so you two can talk. Cool?"

"Sounds like a perfect arrangement," she answered, then looped her arm through mine to walk us back to the table where everyone was already standing by, waiting for us.

"Okay, let's go," Bella announced, then gave Aro one more wave at the bar with her arm still linked through mine.

Take that mo'fo.

Tanya appeared at Bella's side and grabbed onto her other arm once we were out the door with a loud sigh leaving her drunken lips. She relaxed her head onto Bella's shoulder, and I couldn't help but smile at our roommate's inebriated state after she asked my Rock Star what she thought about Demetri, slurring every other word in her sentence.

"He's cute, and so far he seems like an okay guy. I don't know about marriage material though," she teased, then increased her grasp back around my arm, successfully pressing her breasts against my arm and creating a slight rise in my pants.

"Well, of course not! But he's a great fuck! I mean absolutely AMAZING in bed!" Tanya laughed at her own remark, then leaned against a brand new black BMW after its lights had flashed, signaling it belonged to Demetri.

"Nice ride," I commented once he'd stepped up a few seconds later to open the door for Tanya.

"Thanks, the internet business pays well," he smirked in return, then threw his hand out gesturing for Tanya to take the front seat beside him while we took the back with James and Felix. I gracefully suggested Bella sit on my lap, and thankfully she agreed without hesitation. My dick, of course, twitched once more after she'd positioned herself over me, so I offered a quiet apology, knowing it would make her blush and hopefully smile.

I could tell she had a battle going on inside that head of hers again. Her fingers couldn't stop messing with her hair, which she had bundled up in front of her shoulder. Busy hands had become a red flag for Bella Discomfort.

"Feeling good, Bella?" James asked, eyeing us carefully.

"Feeling better than good, thanks, dad," she mumbled, then suggested he hold his mans hand in order to keep himself occupied with things other than her well being.

He chuckled lightly to himself, then followed her suggestion slightly by placing his hand over Felix's knee and redirected his attention to his date, leaving us alone with my own hands drawing Bella in closer against me so I could smell her perfume.

Christ, she smells good.

Impulsively, I leaned in and kissed her shoulder, causing her to turn in my lap a little to grin back at me over my inability to keep my hands and lips off of her when she was this close to me.

When we got to Aro's, Tanya was instantly squealing over the realization that his house was on the beach.

Pft, I live on the beach too. In both Cali and Hawaii. So far, no further points awarded to the ass.

"I love making out on the beach," Tanya announced to no one in particular, and I was quickly rolling my eyes.

You had to hand it to her, the girl was always on… well, on top of someone or something.

"And that is why you're my kind of girl, baby," Demetri announced, then ran his hand up her leg, bringing a giggle to her lips before she removed herself from her seat seductively.

Bella and I smirked at each other after she'd turned around to face me from outside the car. She extended her hand towards me to playfully help me up onto my own two feet, and I smiled when she didn't release her grasp from my hand while we walked towards the front door of Aro's home.

I was glad to see that even with Aro's friends around, she would still be herself with me. I'd wondered how she would act around them, so this, to me, was great progress.

"This was Aro's mom's house. She left it to him after she passed away, so he sold his place on Main Street and moved back in here," Bella explained, as if I gave a damn.

"Nice," I mumbled in return, and followed them inside after Demetri unlocked the door with his key. Bella's hand squeezed mine while she quickly guided me into the kitchen, and I couldn't help but smirk over how homey the interior that surrounded us felt.

Totally not what I had expected.

What a pussy. This is like something out of Home & Garden Magazine.

"Who else is having coffee?" she asked without looking towards anyone in particular. "I need some caffeine to help keep my eyes open," she confessed softly then shot me a wink.

"I'll have a cup," I answered, still loving everything about her grin. She let go of my hand, and I watched her open cabinet after cabinet looking for what she'd need just as Demetri came in and took her by the hips to walk her to the other side of the kitchen.

"Over here, gorgeous," I heard him instruct her, just before my fists bawled up at my sides.

I could feel a sneer spread across my face over the sight of his hands being placed on the curves of her hips, and her smiling over the fact that he was indeed invading her personal space. Instantly, I scanned the room to see where everyone else had disappeared to. I needed a visual distraction, or I would definitely open my mouth and say something stupid, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

Damnit, your apparent need to Bella-sit has the potential to blow up in your face, Cullen.

Where the hell did Tanya go?

"I'll have a cup, too," he told Bella, then reached over her head to pull the coffee grounds from the cabinet. She smiled and thanked him, then got to work beside the sink while Demetri found two mugs and a stainless steel thermos for us.

"So, are you two going to set things straight tonight with my buddy?"

I could hardly believe this guy. Who the fuck did he think he was?

Bella looked up just as surprised as I was, then let out a loud sigh, "Yes, Demetri, I am. All will be out in the open before the night is over," she assured him as she closed the lid of the coffee maker and turned it on.

"Very good. He'll be fine with it. I'm sure. He's not one for exclusivity either. I suppose that's what he liked about you, aside from the obvious," he replied, making her smile again.

I didn't like seeing her smile over someone else's words.

"Obvious, huh?" she asked with a smirk that made me narrow my eyes further in their direction.

"We had that talk last night for a reason, baby," he answered with a wink of his eye before he ran his slimy finger down her arm and tapped the bottom of her chin lightly. "I hope you've thought about my offer."

"I have."

She looked away nervously, and I was instantly wondering what the fuck they were cryptically talking about.

Before I could ponder it for too long, Bella announced she was going to go grab a guitar and she'd be right back. I watched her disappear through a door to go into another room adjacent to the kitchen, and redirected my attention back to Aro's sleazy friend with poor boundaries, and misguided come-ons.

"So, Edward, I hear you skateboard."

"Amongst other things," I replied, already feeling bored with Bella gone from the room. Just looking at her kept me comfortable and relaxed. It was becoming more and more obvious to me that the girl really was good for much more than an amazing blow job and fun conversation, and that's why I needed to kick things up another notch. I needed her to see the same was true about me.

Tanya thankfully interrupted our awkward stare off when she came twirling into the kitchen, throwing her arms around Demetri to request he give her a tour of the upstairs.

It didn't take them long to disappear.

James and Felix were already cuddled up in front of the TV in the living room watching some old black and white movie, so I decided to venture in the direction Bella had gone. I didn't want to waste any of our one-on-one time before Aro arrived.

She was sitting alone, with a guitar in her lap, on a torn up looking sofa in the corner of what looked to be a garage that Aro had remodeled into space for his music stuff.

No wonder she likes it here. No cameras, and her very own playroom.

"Pretty crazy, right, all these instruments," she smiled and strummed the guitar then stood up holding the stringed instrument in her hands. "Sorry, have I been in here long?"

"No, I was just bored. Everyone's paired off. Tanya dragged Demetri upstairs, and I'm no homophobe, but watching James and Felix make out on the couch kind of loses it's special-ness after awhile," I toyed, then asked her if she'd like to walk down to the beach with me.

"Yup, let's go," she smiled, then stood on her toes to kiss my cheek before grabbing my ass playfully in the doorway. She had that look, though. The same one I'd become accustomed to when ever she'd zone out and come back a little more withdrawn. There was something on her mind that she wanted to talk about, but she'd never admit it out loud.

I'd get it out of her, though.

Once she learned I could be trusted with her demons, then she'd find it a little bit easier to let me in. This was the next step in the game. She needed to be able to talk to me. I mean, really talk to me, without holding back. I wanted her to trust me the same way she trusted her boys back home, because I needed to know just as much as they did if I was going to have a fair chance in this.

After stopping in at the counter to fill the thermos with coffee and a splash of Irish Whisky, Bella and I let James know we were going out back and we'd be back in a little bit.

"Don't get lost," he replied, breaking his lip lock with Felix so he could shoot us a wink. I rolled my eyes and placed my hand to Bella's back, carefully guiding her through the sliding glass door that would lead us down to the beach.

We walked out towards the water in silence till we were over the dune, then took a seat in the sand under the moon where she instantly began strumming on the guitar she had borrowed from Aro's house.

"You're pretty quiet tonight, M&M," she whispered, bumping me with her shoulder.

"Sorry, you seem deep in thought, I didn't want to interrupt."

That's good. Make her think you could care less about what's going on inside that head of hers.

"Deep thinking is never good for someone like me, you should always interrupt when you see it taking place," she teased with a crooked smile, letting me know there was some truth in her words.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, surprising even myself with my sudden straightforwardness.

Where the hell did that come from?

Careful, you need to treat these moments like glass. One wrong question and everything could shatter.

"Honestly… I was thinking tonight was fun, but it made me miss home, and it hasn't even been two full weeks yet. How am I going to last another two and a half months?" she asked, staring out at the water in front of us.

"I think it will get easier. Plus your friends are coming to visit, that should help."

I really wasn't looking forward to her friends coming to visit, but a part of me was intrigued to see how they all… moved… around each other. Besides who knew where we would be in four weeks time. By then I could have either talked her into being in a real relationship with only one cock, that cock being mine, of course. Or we could hate each other, and no longer be on speaking terms- let alone friends with benefits terms. There really was no telling how this could go, but I was of course hoping for the first possibility.

"Having you here makes it easier," she confessed softly before starting to play on the guitar a little more loudly. "Actually, that's a lie," she added a about a minute later, after randomly setting the instrument aside so she could take a sip from her thermos of spiked coffee. "You make it a little bit harder sometimes," she shared, then leaned back on her elbows behind me.

"How's that?"

"You make me… think. I just told you that's not good for someone like me," she laughed, but I could tell this was hard for her. Opening up to me was going against the grain and I could almost see the pain in her eyes when she looked up at me, biting that lip of hers. She wanted to talk, she wanted me to understand. There was something holding her back, though. I could see it in her expression, she wanted me to push.

So, I pushed.

"What do I make you think about?" I asked without even considering my question. I was daring to go there and now hoping for the best.

She'd had quite a bit to drink tonight, but it was nothing too far from her norm. I usually got the most out of her when she was in this tipsy state of hers. At first, I used to feel guilty about that, but those feelings began to subside once I realized this was what it would take to really get her to open up, so when she'd insisted on adding some whisky to her coffee, I'd kept quiet.

"You make me think about everything, when all I want is nothing," she sighed, finally answering my question, then sat up again to hug her knees to her chest in front of her.

I watched her for a moment trying to figure out what she meant by her answer, but the problem with having a dick is it usually got in the way of decoding cryptic female messages, and because of that, right now, all I could think about was kissing her and holding her in my arms.

"Well, I guess I could say sorry but… I kind of like that you're thinking about me," I teased, then moved myself behind her to pull her up against me between my legs. It was chilly out tonight, and I could tell she was feeling cold. She relaxed the moment my arms were around her. I kissed the top of her shoulder gently, then her neck, and noticed the goose bumps raise up on her arms over my touch. "You were pretty remarkable on stage again tonight."

"Really? I figured you hated it since you disappeared and all."

"No, I didn't hate it. The lyrics bugged me a little, but you were still incredible," I confessed openly.

"Hah, it's funny you should say that," she laughed, increasing my grasp around her with her own hands, "That song has pretty much been the Bella Swan Anthem since I was seventeen," she told me, and I felt myself frown over that new piece of information.

"What happened when you were seventeen?" I asked, pushing her a little further. I knew from previous conversations that she had experienced her first major falling out with her grandfather when she was sixteen. That wasn't the big one, though. Only the first of the biggies, before the grand finale which had come a few weeks before her parents' death, when she was still only seventeen.

"Um… well… see… I kind of don't know where to start… but I think I'm ready to do some sharing, since it's just us, I mean," she mumbled, shifting her weight nervously in the sand in front of me. "I'd like for you to be able to understand- why I'm the fucked up mess I am, so you won't be disappointed with me in the future… I guess. You deserve to know what you're getting yourself into… if we continue, this."

"I'm ready to hear whatever you're ready to tell me, Bella." I gently promised her.

"Okay, so, my grandfather and I, we used to get along… for a while, when I was a kid, we were the best of friends, but I could never stay with him for very long because his work would take him away a lot. My step-grandmother couldn't be bothered with the responsibility of raising a teenage girl, so I started to be floated around town again, between family friends, when I turned thirteen.

They loved the cookie cutter granddaughter who said and did all the right things when important people were around. The girl I was between the ages of two through six, then again from ten to thirteen. The minute I started to… express myself… more… openly, that changed."

"Ah, and so the hair adventures began?" I asked, interrupting her, hoping it would calm her obvious nerves.

"Hey! I started sporting a pretty badass faux hawk around that time, I'll have you know!" she joked with a slight smile that didn't last long.

"So is your grandfather some big wig business guy or something?"

"From a podunk town in Oregon? No. He's a two term state senator, with aspirations to run for president next year. At least that's what I hear on the internet. He used his riches to start a church in his early thirties, gained a following, then got into politics and discovered the power it could bring. He's a smooth talker, a good salesman with implanted, strict morals, and deep pockets."

"So what happened that made you stop talking? Was it the hair or the tattoos?" I asked, wanting to make her smile and relax a little bit more.

She did, and I grinned in return, feeling accomplished. I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible while sharing her past with me. Otherwise, this would be a one time thing, and I knew she'd still have more buried deep inside of her, even after this talk was over.

"In order to maintain the public image, you were expected to behave within certain boundaries. The older I got… the less I fit inside those boundaries. I started to push the envelope a bit. I guess to see what I could get away with because although there were rules… no one ever paid much attention to me… well, unless I broke the rules. It was normal adolescent stuff, at least that's what my shrink says." She paused for a moment to take another sip from her coffee, and took in a deep breath before continuing.

"Well, you see… at sixteen I was three years into my sexual exploration at the time. Twisted, but true. When the shit hit the fan for the first time, I was living with them again outside of town. Because they lived so far away from my friends, they would allow them to stay over sometimes. Never dreaming anything risque' would be going on behind closed doors. Up until that evening, I was their everyday rebellious teenage granddaughter, who might have dressed a little funny, but I was still saving myself for marriage and respecting my body. Well, my step-grandmother had come home early from one of her fundraisers, and she pretty much caught me in a very compromising position with one of my life long best friends. We'd been trying out some new positions he'd seen in a new magazine of his," she stopped again and laughed reluctantly, then shook her head, "I'm sure she'd never in her life witnessed anything like what she walked in on that day. Truthfully, I'm surprised she didn't have a heart attack right there on the spot."

"Wow, that's rough." I didn't know what else to say. It's bad enough to be walked in on by a parent, even worse to be walked in on a grandparent who thought you were a virginal princess.

"Yeah, understatement. I wasn't allowed back in their house for a year," she shared with a blank expression on her face. "Not even for Christmas."

"Where did you go? What did your parents say?"

"They paid for me to start seeing a therapist who dealt with sex addiction," she laughed, "that lasted an entire week and a half till the fucking quack made a pass at me in his office."

Christ, even the people she should have been able to trust let her down time and time again. The more I learned, the more I understood why she was the way she was.

"That's fucked up, you were just a kid."

"Yup, but he became a good buddy so that's okay." I looked at her, feeling absolutely shell shocked, till she started laughing lightly.

"I'm kidding, Edward, I never saw the guy again," she assured me with a soft shove. "After all that went down, I went and stayed with my mom's best friend, Sue. That lasted for a year till my grandparents decided they wanted to give me a second chance, only because my parents had begged them to, so that Sue could go on a month long African Safari with them. Well that, and it was also election season. A family man always does better in the polls," she shared with a further frown and lip bite.

"Okay, so at seventeen you moved back in with them again? After being estranged for a year? And things were just fine?"

"Yeah, things were good again, for a little while, but my grandfather was rarely around that year. He was always in D.C. working, or campaigning, so that left me alone with the evil step-grandmother. Those stories can be saved for another time, though. Let's just stick to one side of the ugly for now," she requested with a sigh, then took another sip from her thermos.

"Nothing annoyed my grandmother more than when I'd rip up a pair of brand new, five hundred dollar jeans, but God did it feel good to do," she laughed again, then leaned herself into me with a sleepy sigh.

I could tell by her facial expression that her step-grandmother was a whole other layer she wasn't ready to get into yet, so as she'd requested, I didn't push for those stories. Not yet.

"I wasn't allowed to have friends over anymore, one of the new house rules, so that just meant I would stay out a lot, and sometimes spend days at Jake's, or Sam's. I'd rarely come home to questions but there were always dirty looks. My grandfather, for the most part… when he was around, stayed out of it as long as I kept it discreet. He hardly even batted an eyelash… till I crossed the line," she paused again, and shook her head quickly, then tapped my arms, signaling that she wanted to stand up. "Let's walk," she suggested without looking down at me. I followed her cue and stood up beside her, then took her hand into mine while we made our way down the beach's shore where the water was now running beside our bare feet.

We walked side by side for a few more minutes in silence while she decided what more she was ready to share. All I could think about was how absolutely fucked this story already was, and I hadn't even heard all of it yet.

"About six months before my eighteenth birthday, my grandfather had a huge fundraiser for his re-election campaign," she paused for a moment, took in another deep breath, then glanced at me out of the corner of her eye before continuing, "At the fundraiser I met one of his assistants, Riley Biers," the way she said his name, you could tell she held no respect for the man, and I was already dreading what might be coming next.

"Well, Riley knew a lot about me from the start. My interests, my hobbies, likes and dislikes… mostly because my grandfather confided in him. I didn't put all of that together, though, till after my shrink pointed it out to me a few months ago. Riley and I didn't just happen to be into all the same things. I was the world's stupidest teenager to not have realized that myself."

Months ago… interesting… so all this rehashing is fairly recent for her, and she didn't seek professional help till years after this went down… that can't be good… and what happened a few months ago that prompted her to finally look for help to deal with all this?

"Anyways, we'd gotten to talking at the dinner, and exchanged numbers and email. I was smitten because he was the first older guy to ever express an interest in me that didn't seem entirely sexual. He just wanted to talk, he wanted to get to know me. At least that's what he had told me at the beginning. I mean, we would talk. For hours. About anything and everything without there ever being a pause in the conversation."

"How old was he?" I asked, trying to not sound bitter.

"Thirty-two."

"But you were only seventeen," I felt my freed hand bawling itself into a fist by my side over this bit of information.

What a fucking dirt bag. She was just a messed up kid, looking for someone she could trust… someone who would pay attention to her, and he took total advantage.

"Yeah, I was stupid, and young… with a fucked up daddy complex. Shrink's logic again, not mine."

"So you guys started talking?"

"I guess you could call it that. For the first two months it was just talking. We would get coffee when he was in town, talk on the phone for hours, share emails, and video chat. Totally innocent. He seemed to get me. He was the first friend with a dick I'd ever had that didn't try to get into my pants. That, of course, only made me start to want him in other ways, which I now realize was his plan all along. Going into it, I'd never planned to start sleeping with my grandfathers assistant, I swear on my parents' grave, I didn't. I really was only looking for someone to talk to, but I let my sexual appetite get in the way again, because it was all I knew. So, I started to pursue him… for the other things. It wasn't really anything emotional at first, though looking back, if I were to be honest with myself, it's probably the closest I've ever come to actually feeling something for someone aside from the craving to only have their dick inside of me… er, sorry. That was a bit crass."

I smiled at her obvious embarrassment over her honesty, and shook my head wanting her to continue. I could hardly believe she'd shared so much already but I still wanted to hear more.

"Anyways, I made a lot of mistakes, I was still young, figuring things out, selfish, naïve… vulnerable. We started seeing each other, in secret, and then we got caught at a cheap motel in a neighboring town, two weeks before my eighteenth birthday."

"Shit, didn't you learn the first time?" I asked, hoping to make her smile. She did slightly, but it was forced, and I instantly felt bad for making a joke of it.

"One of my grandfather's interns ratted us out. Told him that Riley was having an affair, so he started to have him followed by a private investigator because he was worried it could mess up his campaign. He was always so careful when it came to his political career. Nothing came before it."

"Wait. An affair?"

She looked down at the sand, and shook her head slowly before explaining, "It's the only time ever in my life, and I didn't know. I had no idea. He never told me, and I never ever talked about him with my grandparents, so I was totally shocked to find out he was married. I was stupid for not putting it all together. To make matters even worse, he was married with a baby on the way. Believe me, it took me forever to get over that. I hated myself. A lot. For a long time. Dr. Banner say's I still haven't fully let go of that. But, I mean, seriously! Who the hell does that to their pregnant wife?"

Christ, this just keeps getting worst.

"Yeah, so I got played, then got caught, then lost the only family I ever really knew because of it. The cherry on top came when my parents died thinking their daughter was a whorish home wrecker before I could get the chance to clear my name. Whatever, though, if he wanted to believe some guy over his own granddaughter, just to keep his precious career as a politician intact, what was I supposed to do about that?"

I had no words for what she had just told me. To be a seventeen year old girl, who probably up until then had only done some basic creative experimentation with guys she'd grown up with… to be that girl, then meet someone, and finally start to let her guard down only to be hit upside the head with an awful reality. All the pieces were falling into place.

"What do you mean, he believed the guy and not you? What did he say was going on?"

"He said I seduced him, that he was weak because he and his wife were having problems, and that I had approached him at the fundraiser and became infatuated with him, never leaving him alone and begging him to see me. The same guy who had sent me dozens of emails, Skype messages, and ridiculous flowers, got off completely, simply because I already had the reputation that fit the behavior. I'd never kept any of his messages out of fear of getting caught," she explained further, then stopped walking so we could take a seat under the pier we had come to. "Boy, did that come back to bite me in the ass."

"So you cared for this guy?"

"I thought I did, I mean I cared for the guy he let me think he was, if that makes sense. But then, because I never really knew the real him, I like to just think no, I never cared. I only lusted. It was still all about the sex, and wanting to feel… needed…and special, I guess. He made me feel special."

"Did his wife ever find out?"

"I don't think so, but I have no idea. I never talked to him or my grandfather again after that night. I moved in with Jake and his family, and then my parents died two weeks later, and I inherited enough money to buy my own place, and start my own life the way I wanted."

The only sound around us came from the crashing of the waves a few feet away while I tried to process everything she had just told me. "Wow, Bella. I'm just… I'm so sorry."

She shrugged and leaned back against a pillar we had sat down in front of, then let out a loud sigh, "And that is enhanced version of Bella 101. Fun, right? Everything you thought it would be?"

"I'm glad you finally gave me a short lesson. You may not want to hear it, but it helps. I understand you a little bit more now, I mean."

She shrugged again, and closed her eyes, taking another deep breath in, and exhaling slowly. I could tell she was thinking in overdrive because of the way her eye lids were fluttering in the shadows here, under the pier.

I extended my arm out to pull her up against me, and pressed her head against my chest while I smoothed her hair back behind her. I held her close to me while I tried to figure out what my next words should be to her.

She'd finally opened up and let me in, and now I felt like a deer caught in headlights, too terrified to say the wrong thing.

I cleared my throat carefully, and took in a deep breath, "Bella, not every man in the world is a total fuckwad only looking to get laid," I whispered softly, hoping she'd believe my words, because they were the honest truth.

I knew they were the truth because I wanted to be that man for her.

"I know that, but if it hurt as bad as it did when I only cared a little about the guy… I don't ever want to feel the pain from really falling in love, only to be let down again. It's just not worth it. I'm better off on my own. With only myself to worry about."

I sighed hearing both the honesty, and the fear in her voice, then increased my hold around her, "But if you find it… no, when you find it… it will be worth it, Bella. I promise," I assured her, then loosened my grasp so I could tilt her face towards me. "Look at me," I prompted when she refused to open her eyes. She followed my cue and looked up hesitantly, then shook her head with a single tear sliding down her face. It didn't stay long. She was quick to brush it away forcefully from her cheek.

"I'm the way I am for a reason, Edward. I've told you that before, and now you know why. That wasn't me putting in a request to be, fixed. I'm fine. I'm happy being the way I am, I don't need any of that to change. I don't need to find something more than a good fuck with a hook up buddy who I can call up when I'm feeling the need to release some sexual frustration," she told me with a straight face that almost broke my heart.

It broke my heart because I could tell she truly believed what she was saying, but she was still hurting over the fact that this was her reality.

"If you can be that guy for me, then great, but I don't want you to think you can change me. Because you can't."

I shook my head and kissed her hand softly at my lips, then asked her if she was ready to go back up to the house. I'd gotten enough out of her tonight. I could tell she was done sharing. If I pushed any further she'd probably put me back in timeout because I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut, and I really didn't need, or want, that. After tonight's conversation, I was going to have to tread lightly. This was fact.

She'd shared all this with me for a reason. She was hoping it would scare me away. I wasn't an idiot. Her plan hadn't worked, though. I wasn't going anywhere, and I'd continue to play this game till she realized I was someone worth risking it all for. It was going to take time, but I would be patient.

"Yeah, sure. I need to pee anyways," she replied with a forced smirk. She stood up, and extended her arm out to help me up, then returned her hand to mine with a quiet sigh. We walked in silence for a few minutes till she randomly thanked me for being someone who could listen without passing judgment on her. "I guess it's true what they say about it sometimes being easier to open up to someone who hardly knows anything about you."

"Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet, Bella," I answered, then pulled her in under my arm while we continue to walk up the pathway towards the glowing lights of Aro's house. There was something about the look in her eyes, though.

It wasn't sitting well with me.

Not at all.

"Oh, yeah? Then I think it's your turn to share some of your skeletons, Mr. M&M." she teased loosening up again quickly, and breaking me from my own inner turmoil. That didn't last long, though.

All it took was a smile from me, and she was guarded again.

Guarded and thinking about something else.

She was thinking about a distraction. Something that would help her forget everything that she had just shared with me. The only problem… I couldn't be that distraction for her, because I was the problem.

"Another night," I insisted, then slid the door open for her and gestured for her to go inside.

I wouldn't be the person she would ultimately go to tonight, and I had to find it in me to some how be okay with that, because that's what I had promised her I would do. I'd gotten what I wanted. She'd let me in, and now I would have to suffer the consequences.

No matter what, though, I knew after all the bullshit, she would be worth it.

It's cool, Cullen, while she's getting hers you can go out and get some of your own- elsewhere.

All is fair.

I took in a deep breath after deciding what my next step would be, then exhaled slowly.

~~*Bella*~~

My talk with Edward was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do… aside from the night I walked out of my grandfather's house for the last time with a cloud of shame hanging over my head.

Not even Jake knew about what had happened between Riley and me. All he knew was that I'd fucked up again and gotten caught. He never asked how or with who. In our group we never discussed that kind of stuff, my other hookups or flings, so he'd always assumed it was one of the other guys. So in theory… Edward now knew more about me than anyone else in my life, and I felt like rocking myself to sleep in a fetal position because of that.

His words… his reaction to my past… I had been terrified he'd say something that would make me want to open my heart even more to him, but I'd dared to go there anyways, and now I was suffering the consequences for it.

I wanted to forget all of it.

There it was. Me, in a summary. Careless, attention seeking decisions, and emotionless flings… all because nothing real ever stayed real in my life, aside from my boys, who I'd managed to connect to without ever having to promise anything more than myself.

I wish I hadn't recognized it, but his touch changed after I'd shared my story with him. It was softer, kinder, more genuine.

I hated myself for it, but I was petrified to face tomorrow now that he knew about so many of my ugly yesterdays.

But he still hadn't pushed me away, and a part of me was pissed off about that.

Shortly after returning back to the house, Edward called a cab and left, telling me to stay behind so I could set things straight with Aro, and sleep soundly tonight without any worries of leading anyone on. He'd been beyond understanding, and supportive, and once again, I felt myself falling for him that much more.

Which was exactly what I didn't want.

After he was gone, I'd disappeared into the band room again, wanting to give James and Felix their continued privacy out in the living room. I'd tried to watch a movie with them panting on top of each other beside me on the couch for about fifteen minutes, but for whatever reason I couldn't focus, so I'd disappeared to find something more comfortable.

I frowned to myself as I began to strum the strings on the borrowed guitar in my lap. I hated that all I could think about was Edward, and how I wished he would have stayed a little while longer, but truthfully, I was glad he knew better than to stick around. I had to talk to Aro, and I wasn't sure how that talk would go.

I'd completely lost track of the time, and was entirely lost in the song I was playing when someone touched my shoulder gently, creating a startled yelp from my lips.

"Aro! Don't do that! I almost peed myself!" I warned glaring at him for a moment before his smile weakened my defenses.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he grinned, then took a seat beside me and asked where everyone else was.

"Well, Demetri and Tanya disappeared upstairs shortly after getting here, James and Felix were on the couch pretending to watch a movie while they sucked each others faces, but I guess they took their monkey business elsewhere if you didn't see them out there," I snorted, then leaned forward to rest the guitar onto the table in front of the lounge chair we were now sharing in the middle of the room.

"Pft, then, what no triple kiss action between you, Dem, and Tanya tonight? He must have been off on his game this evening," he toyed, and leaned me back against him, wrapping his arms around my body securely.

I laughed and shook my head, insisting one kiss with Tanya was enough to last me for at least a few weeks.

"I've got to admit, I've watched the clip on my phone at least a hundred times."

I turned myself around to give him a playfully smack, but he caught my hand at mid swipe, then brought it to his lips to kiss softly… just like Edward had done, not long ago out on the beach. I looked away, feeling bashful and let out a sigh knowing it was now or never.

Time to rip off the Band-Aid, Swan.

"Listen, Aro, we need to talk."

He took in his own deep breath and relaxed himself behind me, still without removing his grasp around me, which I took as a good sign.

"Do we, now? About you and your roommate I'm assuming," he cleared beside my ear, before kissing my neck softly.

I sat up straighter, surprised by his correct guess, and turned myself around to face him so I could read his expression.

How much did he already know, and how long had he known?

Fucking Emmett.

No- Fucking Demetri.

"Bella, you would have to be the stupidest human being on the planet to not realize there's something going on between the two of you. I knew that from the first time I met him at the bar, before I'd even seen the two of you together," he confessed with a smile, then smoothed his hand across my cheek.

He was definitely a pretty thing to look at, and my distraction radar was instantly blaring in my ear. I was still a bit bothered, though, that he had known all along about my flawed relationship with my roommate, and had never brought it up until now.

"Well, see. I never really expected you and me… I never expected us to hang out and click the way we have, so I wasn't in a rush to explain my twisted outlook on male companions, but… I've never… not ever had a boyfriend. I don't do exclusive relationships. I never have, I never will. It's not who I am."

"Which is one of the reasons why I like you. Trust me, I picked up on all that. I'm not looking to change you, Bella."

"So then, you're okay with this? With what we have going, and the idea that I'm going to have other, friends?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"As long as I still get to have a piece of you, I don't care. I'm not one for relationships either. It's why we clicked. You're only here for a few months. I don't see why we can't have fun with each other during that time. You're too cool of a chic to let slip away, and I enjoy your company far too much to let some pro-skater chase me off. Especially when he's obviously not making you his only priority," Aro spoke up, catching my attention with his last sentence.

"What do you mean?"

Why are you asking? Do you enjoy the knife in the chest feeling that much? You know better than this.

"I saw him the other night, and then tonight he came back to the bar about thirty minutes ago and left with Heidi. She's not exactly known around town for being one to hang with when all you're looking for is good conversation," Aro informed me rather nonchalantly.

I could only pray that I was doing a better job at hiding my true feelings when it came to hearing this news, because on the inside I felt like he'd just sucker punched me in my heart.

Awesome. So maybe you will get what you wanted. You had hoped your story would scare him away, and it seems you've scared him right into bed with someone else.

Kudos to you, Swan.

For a moment, I considered texting the manwhore with a casual, 'so who ya'doin?' but thought better of it the moment Aro pulled me back down against him to ask me If I'd had a good time with him on stage tonight.

Thank God for his ability to distract me with more pleasant things because if he'd have given me five more seconds, I would be in the bathroom with my fingers moving over my phone's key pad with serious purpose.

"I did, I had a lot of fun actually," I spoke up, nuzzling myself deeper against him and increasing his grasp around my waist while he repositioned my hair off to the side in front of me.

"Good, I did too. I like watching you on stage. You've really got some incredible talent. I wouldn't be surprised if you start to hear from some people in the music industry after this Real Life reality crap is over," he replied, then kissed my neck again and softly asked if I'd like to see the rest of his house.

"For sure, lets see the house Mr. Bartender spent his childhood in," I insisted, then sat up to remove myself from his lap. He picked up the guitar from the table and followed me inside, setting it on the kitchen counter top before taking my hand into his to guide me towards the stairs that would take us to the level of the house that I still had yet to see.

As soon as my feet hit the first step, I realized where this was leading to.

Upstairs… rooms… bedrooms… bed.

I was finally going to get me some peen, but all my ridiculous head would let me think about was the fact that Edward was probably moving his own dick in and out of someone else across town.

Well, if he's out there getting his dick bounced on, then you should take your own ride on whatever Aro has to offer.

I had a feeling I wouldn't be disappointed. Not only were his hands huge, but his feet were monstrous as well, and that almost always meant there'd be a nice sized snack between a man's legs.

Except for that one time last summer.

Ew, don't think about Mike Newton and his itty bitty pencil dick.

I owed Jessica Stanly the moon for finally getting that one off my back.

"So this is the master bedroom, otherwise known as my mom's room."

"You don't get the master bedroom?" I asked, not really expecting much of a response.

"No, I haven't been able to make that transition just yet," he quietly replied, then closed the door to continue moving down the floral wallpapered hallway.

I smiled to myself, taking note in the softer side of his heart, and squeezed his hand in mine, signaling I found his affirmation sweet. He grinned in response and quickly explained that the two doors we were currently passing were the guest rooms of the house, which were currently occupied. I rolled my eyes and let him continue pulling me with both his hands while he changed his position to walk backwards in front of me.

He showed me the room his brother had grown up in, then a bathroom, and a linen closet, all before coming to the end of the hallway where I was assuming his own room, and his bed, were awaiting us.

"This is my room, its nothing fancy, just a warning. You'll see I have the style sense of a true bachelor in about three seconds," he joked and pushed the door open with his hand at the knob.

I smiled at the basic black furniture that greeted us, and laughed over the lava lamp on the nightstand beside the bed and the dueling swords that hung over it.

"Not all of this is brand new, mind you. A lot of the stuff in here comes from my high school slash early college days," he joked, then closed the door behind me.

I noticed his fingertips glide across the lock and smiled to myself while I made my way towards his bed, already anticipating the revisit of some mindless, emotionless, fucking.

This is exactly what you need in order to forget about everything else. World's best medicine for when you start to feel.

Fuck till you can't think, then sleep it off.

He came up behind me and placed his hands over my hips to spin me around, then without much warning, his lips were on mine, kissing me with so much force I almost fell backwards onto the bed. I ran my hands through his hair and tugged his head back lightly so I could come up for some air. While trying to catch my breath, I felt his hands travel up my sides so that his fingertips were now grazing my skin from under my top, just below my breasts. His touch made me smile, so I dug my head against his chest to keep him from seeing the escaped grin on my face.

I needed to be coy with this, especially after telling him this would be nothing but friend fucking. If he saw me grinning over a simple touch from his fingertips it could be read the wrong way, and we didn't need to take any steps backwards.

After kissing my lips once more, he pulled away to look me in the eyes and began walking me backwards so he could push me back onto his bed, his eyes never leaving mine when he whispered softly that he'd been waiting to have me alone like this since the first night he'd laid his eyes on me.

"I see, so once you get this out of your system, should I expect to never hear from you again?" I teased, and leaned myself forward to kiss his smirking lips.

"I'm not going anywhere, beautiful. I promise. Not till you tell me to anyways," he replied, then crept forward so that his body was now hovering over mine with my head resting comfortably over his pillow while his forearms kept him above me.

"Well, for what it's worth… I've been waiting, too," I teased before wrapping my arms around his neck to bring his mouth back down to mine.

Well, this is the moment of truth, Swan.

Can. You. Still. Do. This?

~~*Edward*~~

It was well after four in the morning when I finally got myself back to the house. I'd just experienced two hours of bland regularity after leaving Bella at Aro's. Heidi had proven to be everything I had thought she would be, and I'd bolted before she could even finish unbuttoning her pants at the foot of her bed.

I wasn't in the mood. I only had one thing on my mind, and that person was probably screaming someone else's name right this very second. I could see it in Bella's eyes when I left her behind. She was feeling exposed, and she needed to do something to forget those feelings. She was going to end up in bed with Aro tonight. That was fact, and I was dealing.

Whatever. You wanted to play by her rules. Now you live with the fucked consequences.

"Hey, Edward," Alice chirped as I came into the kitchen. I was surprised she was still awake. I took that as a sign that everyone else was still out.

Just as you'd expected she would be.

"How's it going, Little A?" I asked, pulling a glass down from the cabinet so I could pour myself a glass of water with an Alka-Seltzer tablet to start the process of sobering up.

"I was trying to wait up to get the low down on James' big date, but they're still not home, and my eyes are getting mad at me," she informed me, and I felt the sneer sneak across my lips before she'd even finished her sentence.

Couldn't she just fuck him, get it out of her system, then get her ass back home to me?

Fuck, what if she doesn't come home. What if she actually spends the night with him?

Then you'll be up all night planning your next move, dumb ass.

"Did you try texting them?" I asked casually.

"Yeah… no one got back to-" she started to say just as we heard the front door open from the hallway.

"EEP! They're home!" Alice took off like a bat out of hell. I'd never seen a grown woman run so fast in pink bunny slippers, but the girl had speed, and I was impressed.

"You're back! Details! James, is he as sweet as he is good looking?" Alice was asking at the top of her lungs while I'd stayed back in the kitchen.

No need to seem too eager.

I heard them making their way towards the kitchen and quickly moved myself to the computer room so it wouldn't seem as though I'd been waiting for her. I set myself up in front of the keyboard and signed in to my Skype account, then leaned back in the large chair and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands.

I was surprised to see a few of my buddies signed on. I quickly sent my best friend Garrett a message letting him know I was around, then stole a glance out into the other room where Tanya, James, Alice and a quiet, withdrawn looking Bella, were now sitting in a circle.

I still didn't like the look in her eyes, but I ignored it for the time being. I wasn't even sure if she'd realized I was in the next room. She looked absolutely lost in thought while she bit at her fingernails and hugged her knees to her chest, staring off into nothing.

A chirp from the computer alerted me to it's screen as a new message appeared in the conversation box.

Garrett Rides: Word bro! Did you send in your fees for the comp? I swear to god if you puss out!

I smiled at his attack and leaned forward on my elbows to reply as quietly as possible.

I kind of enjoyed being able to watch Bella without her realizing it… awake… for once.

That's fucking creepy, grow the hell up, Cullen.

EM Cullen: Yeah. I called my manager today and told him to put my name in. How's the crew?

Garret Rides: Crew is good. We're all set up to head out that way next month. We're still invited right?

EM Cullen: Don't be stupid. Of course. Did you guys get everything booked?

Garrett Rides: Yup. Me, Ben, Laurent and Vic will arrive at two p.m. that Friday we talked about and we've got two rooms set up at a Holiday Inn that looks to be about a mile from where you're at.

EM Cullen: Sounds good.

Garrett Rides: So tell me about it. Has anything insane happened yet? Have you cracked that pussy?

EM Cullen: It's still going good. Everyone is really cool. I seriously have nothing bad to say about anyone.

Garrett Rides: And the pussy?

EM Cullen: I'm keeping myself busy.

Garrett Rides: That's my boy! Alright, well you just caught me on my way out. Shouldn't you be in bed, it's like what… after four in the morning over there?

EM Cullen: Yeah, I just got in. I was hoping to get some disconnected action, but when it came down to it, all I could think about was someone else.

Garrett Rides: Ouch. Sorry bro. This girls really got you hung up. Nothing a little Jerkins wont help right? In other news, my jaw is to the floor over the revelation that someone's gotten your panties in a bunch. Who the hell'a'thought'it?

EM Cullen: haha, I know right. It fucking sucks. Alright, tell everyone I said Hi.

I quickly signed out, then turned the computer off, stretching my arms and legs out in front of me from my chair before standing up. I looked out into the room and saw Bella and Tanya had disappeared, but Alice was still giving James an interrogation while he smiled like a smitten fool.

"Yo, have a good time tonight?" I asked my housemate before collapsing onto the other sofa across from them.

"Yeah, Felix is a nice guy. I think I may have struck gay gold," James joked, bringing Alice around his neck with another hug over his news.

"I'm so happy to see you smile, James, you deserved a nice man. I can't wait to get to know him. You need to invite him over for dinner! Tomorrow! I'll cook!"

I laughed listening to their exchange for another few minutes, then excused myself to head upstairs to see what the girls were up to. I was surprised to find the room dark, with both Tanya and Bella's bed's already occupied. I was even more surprised to hear sniffling coming from Bella's bed, but her back was turned towards me so I couldn't make out whether she was crying, or just suffering from a runny nose thanks to the cool air that was out tonight.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and change, then glanced at my straight, drawn expression in the mirror.

Do you even ask her how it went?

I definitely didn't really want to hear about it. I saw it in her eyes before I left her. She was in dire need for a new distraction. Especially after laying everything out there for me to see.

She'd needed to prove to herself that she really was happy the way she was. That she didn't want to be fixed, and Aro would give that to her. Emotionless, disconnected fucking- her apparent cure all for everything.

Fuck, this is so screwed up. Why the hell would she want this?

You know why. She told you why.

The same reasons you've gone pro in the random hook up/booty call department, Cullen. You're more alike then she knows.

The fear of giving someone everything, only to have your heart ripped out of your chest, that's debilitating.

I should know.

Christ, stop being such an emo shit.

I took in a deep breath, then flipped the light off in the bathroom before opening the door to make my way towards my own bed.

Bella hadn't changed her position since I'd gone in to brush my teeth, so I got into my own bed, not wanting to scare the crap out of her by climbing in beside her if she was already sound asleep.

If she wasn't going to invite me in, then I would give her the space she was apparently requesting.

Besides, do you really think she's going to want to sleep in your arms after being royally fucked by someone else's cock?

Doubtful.

I let out an accidental huff, then pulled my covers up over me, wishing she'd turn her body, just so that I could just see she was okay. After the look on her face downstairs, and now the quick escape to bed with her back turned from my own bed… something wasn't right.

Fuck, if he hurt her I will ram my fist through his fucking face!

That thought had me sitting up instantly.

Removing myself from my bed, I closed the space between where we both slept and whispered a soft, 'pst' beside her ear.

"I'm fine Edward, go to bed," she mumbled, then pulled her blanket up further beside her chin.

I could hear it in her voice, though, she wasn't fine. She was upset about something, and I wasn't going to let it go.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked through clenched teeth, refusing to drop the subject.

"No, he was a total gentleman. Now let me sleep, please," she answered, still not turning around to look at me. It was a pointless battle, though. If she didn't want to talk, she wouldn't. If there was anything I'd learned about her, it was that she was good at keeping things locked up when she felt cornered and exposed.

"Bella, look at me," I pleaded, surprising even myself with my careful but stern tone.

"Tomorrow, Edward. Good-night," she answered, still not changing her position with her back facing me. I let out a sigh and stood up with my arms at my sides, feeling defeated. If we had been alone in the room, I would have turned the light on and demanded she talk to me, but it was too late to start that kind of drama.

"Bella-"

"Edward! Christ! I mean it. Leave me the fuck alone!" she snapped, finally turning to look me in the eyes.

I was right, she had been crying, and her cheeks were soaked.

There was nothing I could do, though, because she was pushing me away, and if I pushed back at this point, she'd only push harder.

"Fine. Goodnight," I mumbled, then made my way towards my own bed, letting out one last grunt before turning my own back to her.

While we laid there in the darkness, I could hear her quietly sobbing from under her pillow, and it continued to tear me apart. It must have lasted at least twenty minutes before her breathing finally settled, signaling that she had successfully cried herself to sleep, and I was now the only person awake in the room.

It didn't take me long to decide that tomorrow I would visit Aro.

A/N: So there's a few answers for you, though, I'm sure because I've left you wondering whether or not she slept with Aro, you're possibly... probably, a bit peeved with me. You'll have to continue to wonder for a little while longer because I'm just mean like that. All things considered, with everything we know about Bella, what are you thinking? Did she or didn't she, and what's with the crying?

Big thanks to my pre readers for this one, Dreaming Of A Cullen (CC), and Lolypop82. I was a bit nervous about revealing more of Bella's past but they became the back bone I needed. Trust me, Bella's still got quite a few skeletons in the back of her closet, this was only the foundation for why she is the way she is.

Are we thinking she'll start to push Edward away again for a little while, or will her bipolar personality shine- allowing her to be absolutely fine the next morning? Aro wasn't exactly playing fair was he? Would it have been as easy for Bella to fall into bed with him if he hadn't shared the news that Edward had gone home with the town's easy-lay? And what do you think will happen when he goes to see Aro in the morning? I want to hear your thoughts!

Remember, I post teasers on the blog every Thursday!

*Please Review because it makes me smile, and I'll pay it forward with a fairly eye opening outtake (that is, if you're good with clues), *wink*.