"Oh, so hold up." Sharon put down her cup of fruit punch that wasn't exactly what she expected, but it wasn't half bad, either. "You mean to tell me you were up all night successfully reading Squall's deepest and darkest secrets?"

Gina blushed. It sounded even more wrong than it already was the way Sharon put it. "Uh, yeah, sort of."

Sharon nodded her approval. "Good going. I knew you'd find some use of that administrative password Xu gave us, because I swear to god, if it was up to me I would've been like 'what the hell you want me to do with this shit?'" She took another gulp to finish off the cup and tossed it in the trash bin next to the desk. "Unfortunately, reading LJs don't count as actual work being done. But no worries! You continue your hack fest, and I'll do what I can digging up some stuff that could help us when we actually get to finding the lost commander and his crew." She went back to the bookcase she was yesterday and pulled out the book she was previously looking at. "This one in particular is pretty interesting, at least to me."

Gina tilted her head to the side. "Really? What's in it?"

"Initially, a lot of boring stuff. A lot of stats and updated history regarding the three Gardens. But, I did find out some cool tidbits that might be worth it to know. Trabia's seem to come up in the world; after it got blown to smithereens during that whole missile base accident four years ago, a woman named Ela Rostmalhov largely contributed to the reconstruction of the garden, and consequently became the new headmaster when everything got up and running again. What amused me is that this woman totally has a Russian name or some shit. But anyway, it seems like they're known for their diplomacy over everything else. They usually get away with the least casualties when it comes to missions on either side, so if someone doesn't want to really get into a whole lot of shit but wants a solution anyway, Trabia comes in and helps deliver a peaceful compromise.

"Then I got around to the Galbadia section. They're the hardcore bitches out of the three, but I guess that's expected seeing as though Martine is the headmaster. If you want something done quickly, then they're the people you look for, even if their methods usually involve kicking the shit out of the opposition until they comply. Because of how hard Martine's been working to regain his Garden's lost glory, they are arguably the cream of the crop when it comes to SeeDs, even though since that whole fiasco dealing with the sorceress temporarily taking over their base all that time ago not many people are willing to give them the credit. Bet that pisses Martine the hell off, HA! But still, they tend to focus more on specialists in specific areas, which is something neither Trabia nor Balamb has at this point in time, so they do have an upper hand just looking at the stats.

As for Balamb... well, despite the new-ness of Trabia and the badass-ness of Galbadia, Balamb still happens to be number one overall. Some of that is due to the fact that it is now known as the base that trained the SeeDs who ended up saving the world from that crazy bitch Ultimecia. It's also due to the fact that the person who founded SeeD in the first place is the headmaster. My personal guess is that it's because of all the enrollment from the people who are too intimidated by Galbadia or can't afford the tuition or remoteness of Trabia, yet still wanna be a SeeD anyway. That, and the male to female ratio is more or less even, here. In Trabia, females outnumber males 3 to 1, and with Galbadia the males outnumber females 5 to 1."

"So basically, Balamb's the middle ground between them. Somehow, I'm not so surprised," Gina mused. "But that's a lot of good information you found, Sharii-chan. We certainly didn't know that."

"Oh, and there is more." Sharon flipped open to a specific page. "And this could certainly help us on the road to see who is who. Each Garden has their own colors. We know already what they are for Balamb. We have the navy blue with silver trim for the cadet uniforms, and the navy blue with gold trim for the SeeD graduates. For Trabia, their cadets have a very very light gray uniform - it's almost white, but not quite - with a darker gray trim. When it's a SeeD, they're upgraded to white with black trim. I bet that helps them blend in with all of those snowy mountains up there. Ooh..." Sharon turned another page. "It seems like Galbadia got all fancy on us. Their cadets have the dark gray uniforms with maroon trim, and that actually used to be their uniform for SeeD. But now, if you're just a basic SeeD, then you're graduated to a black uniform with maroon trim."

Gina raised an eyebrow. "'Basic' SeeD? What is this, DDR? Do they get upgraded later to Trick and then Maniac?"

Sharon laughed. "Sort of, if you think of it that way. Remember when I said that they deal in specialties? Well, depending on what you 'major' in, your braid trim changes color. They're the only Garden thus far to establish ranks within ranks, of sorts. I guess it'd be like giving Squall a special uniform because he's a gunblade master, then giving Zell a special one because he's a martial artist, so on and so forth."

"Hmm, that's... really interesting." Gina let loose a sly grin. "So... what's the braid color for a sharpshooter?"

Sharon shot Gina a look before closing the book. "Dark green."

"You came up with that pretty fast."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You hack into Mr. Emo's diary yet I get flak for actually getting important information? The world must be coming to an end."

Gina just laughed while moving back to the computer, which had booted up completely by then. "I'm just messing with you. I think I've been in a weird mood ever since I didn't get enough sleep this morning."

"Yeah well, whose fault is that?" Sharon smirked as she replaced the book. "Hey, sweet! A book about Chocobo Breeding!"

The shorter girl wrinkled her nose. "Really? Now how the heck is THAT pertinent?"

"Well, you never know! Might need an army of chocobos one day." She flipped open the book and began to read. "Or maybe I just really want to know how to get that Gold chocobo."

"Sharii-chan, that's in Final Fantasy VII."

"I knew that."

Chuckling to herself, Gina quickly navigated the menus to get back to the directory that housed Squall's entries. I'm getting the hang of this. After I'm done, I swear I might just take a nap until later on tonight when we have to train, because I'm starting to feel a bit loopy.

As Sharon indulged herself on the mating habits of chocobos, Gina fell back into the space she was earlier that morning where only Squall's entries existed. Most of them were about how his relationship with Rinoa was going, and him struggling with uncovering whatever his feelings were concerning Quistis. According to one entry, he almost confided to Laguna about it, but he thought against it when he remembered his hilariously sad attempts at trying to talk to the beautiful pianist, Julia. He did, however, talk to Irvine about it, but the only advice the sharpshooter had was for Squall to stop thinking so much and just be with whomever he wanted to be with.

As a result, Squall and Rinoa's relationship started to get rather strained. Rinoa became quick to anger whenever she noticed that there were things that Squall wasn't telling her, thinking her progress in making Squall open up was regressing. In reality, Squall was trying not to hurt Rinoa, thinking that he didn't know exactly what he wanted anymore, and if he was ever really going to be cut out for a relationship anyway. He also felt as if one more awkward moment went by between him and Quistis, his head would implode.

Overall, Gina felt so sorry for the Balamb commander. She didn't know relationships could be so complicated. For once, it seemed as though most of it wasn't caused by Squall's inability to open up easily, it was just due to circumstance and things in the past that never exactly got cleared up. In a typical SeeD fashion, he began over analyzing his feelings, trying to come to a concrete conclusion on his emotions. At every turn, there was a new theory, a new wrench into what he thought was a solution, and from what Gina could discern from text, it was slowly driving him insane. Her heart ached as she longed for the opportunities long past to have been there to maybe help him through it all, to help figure himself out. But she faintly thought that it was perhaps best that she wasn't there; at this point, she would have been yet another woman in his life he wouldn't know how to deal with.

Half torn between wanting to read more just to see if there was something in his life that would turn around and just exiting the page altogether because she couldn't take the angst anymore, she found herself automatically clicking the next link anyway.

I think I have committed the most grave fuck up in my life to date. It's funny, since I thought I was done making those a long time ago. But I guess history repeats itself, regardless.

Squall carefully scanned the remainder of the legal paperwork that he had been working on for the past couple of days, decided it finally passed his inspection, put a stamp on it and set it in his "out" box. With that, the work for the day was finished, and he was free to do whatever he pleased.

It would have ordinarily been a relief and an opportunity to go someplace with Rinoa, but the way things were looking for him as of late, he preferred more work to be done so he could take his mind off of the whole mess his relationship was currently in. I just wish I knew how to fix it, but it seems like all we do now is fight over something stupid. Why are women so complicated? Hell, why am I so complicated? Hyne knew he spent enough days thinking, re-thinking, and thinking some more in hopes to figure himself out. Now he was at the point where if he thought about it any more, he would throw himself out of the nearest window.

I think it's funny how people see me as the man in control of everything, but as well as I can help run this Garden along with Headmaster Cid, I can't even make heads or tails of my own life. Sighing deeply, he rested his forehead against the cool surface of his desk and simply appreciated the feeling of it.

He wasn't in that position for long before there was a knock on his door. Holding back another sigh, he took a moment to raise his head and arrange himself the way the commander of Balamb Garden should look. "Come in."

Quistis steadied her features before entering the office, holding a manila folder full of papers that she received from Cid just fifteen minutes ago. She had been honestly thinking if she could put off delivering it until tomorrow, until she went through the usual realization that she was only going to procrastinate due to the fact that it involved seeing Squall. So, of course, she had given herself a mental lashing and steeled herself to do what she had to do. She was a SeeD, and a professor to boot, and she knew how to act professionally. Quistis wasn't a woman to let her emotions prevent her from doing what she needed to do.

It didn't change the fact that it was getting harder for her to shield her emotions. Ever since Seifer called her out, she dreaded being alone with Squall, dreaded the one conversation that both of them were damn good at avoiding. She really didn't want to talk about it. She was trying so hard and doing so well at burying those feelings for good, especially since Rinoa had come to the forefront of his romantic life. She had even tried her hand at friendship with the dark-haired beauty, but it hadn't worked out too well. The two women didn't reduce themselves to cat fights in the middle of Garden's hallways whenever they passed, but nonetheless they preferred not to be in each other's company for extended periods of time.

Ironically, most, if not all of the hostility was from Rinoa's side. It was funny for Quistis to acknowledge that, especially when she remembered seeing the girl in the short yellow dress succeed in snagging the SeeD out on the dance floor. It was something the young professor could only dream of doing, and with the combined knowledge that Rinoa was a guest to the ball only by being the date of Seifer Almasy, she had found herself both red with fury and green with jealousy. So, I guess one gunblade master isn't enough for her, Quistis remembered herself thinking that night. But thankfully, time and age allowed her to grow out of her jealousy. Instead, she drifted into a reluctant acceptance about her unrequited love, and she learned to mask what she couldn't outgrow with relative ease. She was even able to find herself happy when Squall and the new recruit Gina began to grow closer as a result of all of the events leading up to Ultimecia's defeat. Quistis' shock at the revelation that Gina wasn't from their world was mostly directed at the fact that Squall had allowed himself to open up to a person who would inevitably end up leaving him, and knowing it the whole time.

But it was easier when Squall used to be ignorant of her internal plight. She didn't know whether it was because of a newfound paranoia, but every time she looked at him, she felt his eyes boring straight into the very things she tried so desperately to hide. Hyne, just let me get through this day. It was a familiar mantra to the professor by then.

"The Headmaster wanted me to drop these by you. He said it didn't matter when you got to them, since he knows you were just working on a stack that he gave to you a week ago. Just whenever you found the time."

Squall nodded briskly. "You can leave it on my desk. I just finished the papers you were referring to, actually, so if you wouldn't mind..."

"I'll make sure they get to the Headmaster as soon as possible," Quistis finished and accepted the request she knew he was going to make of her, and gathered the large pile that was situated in his "out" box. While she busied herself with that, she chanced a glance up at Squall. His crystal blue eyes were detached and slightly hazy, signaling that Squall had regressed very deep within his mind. She was all too familiar with that look, but she had noticed it more lately, and with the slight circles under his eyes, she was concerned about his health. She knew it could be because he was working too hard, but she also suspected that it had to do with his relationship with Rinoa. Quistis wanted to know what was going on, but she didn't dare touch that subject with a ten-foot pole.

"Well. Is there anything else you'd like me to deliver?" Quistis asked politely, making Squall snap out of whatever reverie he was in and blink as if noticing she was in the same room as him for the first time.

"No. That will be all, thank you."

Giving a nod, the professor gathered up the papers and made for the door, but she paused out of what she thought was her better judgment when her free hand touched the doorknob. Not really knowing what to do, she took a deep breath and turned back around to face the desk. "Squall, is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

There. She said it. She figured it was about time that someone gave a cue, since it was getting painfully obvious that she couldn't hold out much longer if things continued the way they were between them.

The commander trained his gaze on her. What drove her to ask that question? I must look as bad as I feel. The only other person he knew that was a part of his circle of friends that would have asked him like that was Irvine, but a couple of days before he was made to return to Galbadia Garden much to the gang's disbelief and distress. He noticed that instead of averting her eyes whenever he directly addressed her, Quistis had chosen to meet his gaze quite stubbornly. Almost absentmindedly, he noted the way her new hairstyle complimented her. A little while after they had defeated Ultimecia, Quistis decided it was time for a new look. Her hair was still it's original length in the front, but was cut to an angular bob around the back, the shortest layers curling slightly at the nape of her neck. Whoever had done the style also took the liberty to layer it, so that whenever Quistis turned her head or walked briskly, her blonde hair bounced and swayed with her.

Everyone had loved it, especially Selphie, who took no time in running her hands through the new style. Squall had to admit now that he liked it a lot, although at the time he couldn't help but somewhat lament the loss of the rest of her hair. He'd always been curious to see what it would look like when it wasn't bound up in a clip in the back of her head.

Snapping himself back to the situation at hand, Squall answered. "Not really."

Feeling herself overcome with both relief and disappointment at his reply, Quistis nodded slowly and turned back around to leave.

"But I will anyway... if you're willing to listen."

Quistis turned back towards him, not able to hide her surprise. "That's what friends are for, Squall."

A little bit of something flickered in his eyes at that moment, but she didn't have time to decipher it before he stood up and started pacing, his right hand catching the hair on the top of his head in a fist. The words came out slowly and uncertain at first, but once he allowed all of it to unfold, it wasn't easy to stop. Quistis just stood and listened to the commander of Balamb Garden empty his heart out to her regarding his troubles with Rinoa, and his uncertainties as to where he stood with her. Quistis didn't interrupt him, but she was able to catch all of the unsaid words in his plight, most specifically the ones that involved the subject both of them never talked about. Nevertheless, she was his ear for the half hour or so that it took him to get everything he wanted off of his chest, which left her with quite the pensive expression on her face as she worked her own brain for a possible solution.

Squall just watched her as she turned many gears in her head, hoping to solve what he had spent weeks on end trying to see for himself. He didn't want to put all of his hope in her, but he couldn't help it; it was the first time he had actually told another person his current troubles, and he almost felt too much like that little boy he used to be, looking towards Ellone or Matron for the answers he couldn't find.

Blinking to herself uncertainly, Quistis simply asked another question. "Do you love her, Squall?"

Squall just looked at her, his mouth slightly agape. "I... I care about her deeply."

She raised a carefully sculpted eyebrow. "That isn't what I asked, and you know it."

To this, Squall found himself pacing the floor again, leaving it open-ended. The professor watched him do this for a minute or so before placing the stack of papers down on his desk and moving to intercept him.

"Squall, stop it. You'll wear a hole in the floor if you keep it up, and it's not helping."

The auburn haired male stopped his pacing at the roadblock in front of him. "Quistis... what is love?"

At the most cliché question in the book, the blonde found herself completely speechless. So many things jumped to her throat, but they all caught there and wouldn't go any further. She wanted, in that moment, to tell him that when a person was in love, they would know it. That it was both the worst agony and the most exhilarating happiness a person could ever feel about another. In that person's very presence, your entire world could melt away to the point where it was only them, and it made everything you thought you were both a lie and all the more true. It was the biggest paradox anyone could ever encounter and experience, and it was both the best and the worst addiction ever known to man. It's the way I feel about you, and I think I always will, no matter how many days, months, or even years go by regardless of any other man that may walk into my life.

Quistis was so caught up in her unspoken thoughts that she was late to realize that her vision was slowly blurring. She tried very hard not to blink or move her eyes at all, but she still couldn't prevent the tears that leaked out of the corners of her lids despite her best efforts. Pursing her lips together, she willed all of the emotions back down where they should stay, yet didn't move to wipe the evidence they left on her cheeks.

The next thing I think both of us knew, I was kissing her. I don't know what came over me; it was an impulse, something I rarely act on. But the moment my lips touched hers... Hyne, it was sweet. Sweeter than I ever thought something like that could be. In an instant, all of the words that we never said to each other were uncovered... but without either of us saying anything at all. We communicated our thoughts with our caresses, our gasps, and even in the tender way we held each other later that night, amongst the tangled sheets on the bed.

When I awoke the next morning, I wasn't too entirely surprised to see that she had gone already. I got up, showered and dressed, all with the memory of yesterday's events replaying in my mind and wrapping me in its warm cocoon.

It wasn't until I sat down at my desk and looked at the beautiful flower Rinoa had picked for me to symbolize the growth of our relationship that I realized what a grave error I had made.

Everything around her was gray, mute and nondescript. All she could do was stare unblinkingly at the blocks of text she just read. When she was able to blink at least once, she moved just her eyes to the vase that held the withered remains of a flower on the side of the desk, and then switched it quickly back to the screen in front of her. Gina clamped a hand over her gaping mouth. Oh, my god...