Chapter 10
Arizona spent the next week avoiding Mark and Callie as much as she could. Callie was doing her best to avoid her also. Arizona knew that. She could tell. After she had run out of the on call room to OR 4 Arizona had also been called to OR 4 and helped save a little boy's life. In that room there had been so much tension that Arizona felt like 12 scalpels couldn't have even cut it. Lucy had swung by the OR to pick up Callie after the operation and Mark had looked at Arizona with such anger that even Lucy asked what was wrong with him. Mark had just shaken his head, glanced at Callie and then left. Arizona felt more and more guilty with every passing day. She had slept with someone else's fiancé. If that had happened to her she would have been heart sick, broken and not been able to recover.
After a week had gone by she knew that Callie was staying with Lucy. There wasn't any doubt. She had hoped every night that week that Callie would show up at her doorstep telling her that she loved her and couldn't be without her no matter what. But as the week went by and every night ended with her sobbing into her pillow alone after drinking about 5 beers she realized that Callie had stayed with Lucy. No matter how she spun it, they had slept together and Callie had chosen her fiancé. Arizona felt defeated. She didn't know what else there was. All she knew was that she loved Callie, and if Callie wanted to stay with Lucy and keep her family together then Arizona would let her do that. All she ever wanted was for Calliope to be happy. It was time to let it go, wasn't it?
Callie stood by the sink letting the water run, she hadn't even realized it was cold. She had been staring out the window into the garden out back for about 10 minutes before Lucy came into the room and wrapped her arms around her. "What are you thinking about baby?" She kissed her neck gently and smiled as she turned the water off for her. Callie half smiled and shook her head slightly, reaching for the hand towel on the fridge to wipe her hands. "Nothing, I just. Is Sofia asleep?" Callie needed to tell her. If she was ever going to marry Lucy and complete this little family of theirs, she needed to come clean. No matter how much it hurt and she could only hope and pray that Lucy would forgive her. Would Arizona forgive her for making this choice? Callie couldn't think about that. She wanted Lucy. She needed Lucy. She was the one who put her heart back together, who had helped her love again. She was the one to make her feel everything again. Arizona had shattered everything. Lucy was the one she was supposed to end up with. Right?
"She's down. I read her 101 Dalmatians again. She loves that one. I swear she will be begging us for a puppy as soon as we are married. I bet you 100 bucks it will have to be a Dalmatian or else she'll freak on us." Callie smiled a little bit at Lucy. Whenever she talked about her daughter she lit up like there was nothing better in the world then Sofia and her. "Well then we will just have to get her one won't we?" Callie smiled and took Lucy's hand in hers and led her to the sofa. "Luce. I need to tell you something. I don't want you to be upset. Well I mean I know you will be upset but I want you to remember that you love me and that I truly truly love you." As she looked at her hands she felt the tears come and she let them.
"Last week…I slept with Arizona." The words were out. Callie couldn't take them back. She felt the breath rush out of Lucy and Callie realized she had been holding her breath also. Lucy looked like she had been punched in the face. The hurt was pouring off of her. Callie felt her take back her hand and she closed her eyes, wishing to god this wasn't going to end the same way it had with Arizona. Lucy stared at her and then swallowed. "You slept with Arizona, the ex who showed up randomly at Mark and Lexie's wedding and the one you told me broke your heart into a million pieces. That Arizona?" Lucy had a nasty tone in her voice but Callie understood. She would be devastated too. Callie nodded slowly looking at her own hands. They were sweating and trembling at the same time. "You fucked another woman…3 weeks before our wedding." Callie nodded again. She couldn't speak. All the words of explanation stuck in her throat. Finally she spoke, " I'm so sorry. Lucy, I don't know what happened and I can't…I know you might not ever forgive me but I wanted to tell you. I couldn't marry you on that lie. I love you so much. Please. I'm so sorry." Lucy turned away from her and opened the cupboard door then slammed it shut; it fell to the ground. Callie cringed, walking up to Lucy and putting her hands on hers. "I love you. Please baby. Don't do this. I love you." Lucy whirled around and faced her. "Me don't do this? Me? I didn't do anything Callie. I didn't go and fuck my ex girlfriend. Where did you do it Callie? In our bed? In our house?" Callie looked away from her and felt the tears hot on her face. "No Luce. I didn't. Please don't think like that."
Lucy started to cry then. After that moment Callie blocked most of it out. Lucy cried harder and harder and Callie cried, Lucy got angry and screamed and then left. Callie cried herself to sleep on the couch. The next morning when Sofia asked where Lucy was Callie told her she had to work early. She didn't know whether or not Lucy was coming back. All she had said as she walked out the door was, "Don't follow me Callie. I need to think." Callie wanted to call her, wanted to go looking for her. All she wanted was her life back before Arizona had come back into it. She couldn't help the feelings Arizona made her feel but she could control her actions. She had to. Sleeping with Arizona wasn't right for her. Was it? She knew she loved Lucy, they were to become a family. Sofia loved Lucy like another mother. She had gotten attached and loved her fiercely, she even loved having her read to her in bed which she never let anyone but Mark, Callie or Lexie do. They were to become a family.
Lucy was gone a week. A week of no contact and week of wondering if she would come back and then when she was at work, avoiding the maternity wing as much as possible she felt someone wrap their arms around her. Lucy kissed her cheek and then took her hand. "I forgive you but never again Callie. Never again." Callie smiled and hugged her tightly. She felt the joy of her entire life coming back. As she hugged Lucy she realized that she shouldn't have forgiven her. Lucy shouldn't have stayed. Would Callie have stayed? Callie hugged her and kissed her and smiled but inside she felt a little emptier. Arizona's face flashed in her mind of when she had said she loved her no matter what. Arizona. The thought of her made her heart ache. Lucy was her future. Arizona was the past. Arizona rounded the corner and saw Calliope and Lucy embracing each other, kissing, hugging and smiling. Arizona felt her heart fall. She couldn't bring herself to look away. As she watched she thought she heard the words. "I'm so sorry. Please don't ever leave like that again." She saw Callie mouth the words. "I love you baby. I love you so much." Too much pain filled her heart and her lungs. She could barley breath. Arizona felt someone come up behind her. "Callie told her. Lucy spent the week at my place, crying and trying to figure out what to do. She finally decided to forgive her. Lucy is in love with her and Callie loves her fiercely. No matter whom she sleeps with." Mark touched Arizona's shoulder and patted it. "I'm sorry Arizona. I know you wanted her back. Callie will always love you. For months after you left she spent her nights crying herself to sleep in my arms. I held her for months, taking care of Sofia and letting her fall apart. It was finally too much. I told her that if she didn't pick herself up she was going to miss her daughter growing up. That did it. She finally got her life together. Sofia is so amazing and so smart. She grows and learns every day and it's because Callie is the most amazing mother and she has found someone who loves her so much." Arizona felt the tears streaming down her face. All he was saying was true. She had ruined it. She had ruined it all. "I know when she slept with you she probably told you that she loved you. I know her. And I know you still love her. I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out. But that's not on Callie. She can't live in the past anymore Arizona. Please, let her move on." Arizona breathed deeply her lips trembling as she looked up at Mark. "I still love her Mark." Mark nodded and put his clipboard under his arm. "Then love her quietly. For her sake." Arizona nodded as he turned and walked away. Arizona looked at Callie, smiling and happy, she turned away from them and walked down the hall and back to work.