Suicide was never really an option for me. It seemed just kind opf...impossible. Everything in my life that I'd survivedso far made me kindf of think that I wouldn't be able to accomplish it. But to be perfectly honest, I was thinking about giving it a try. But I couldn't. Not right nows, anyways.

I was still in a mall, walking away from my now ex-boyfriend and looking for my best friend. I hadn't the slightest clue where they were; I'd sent them to Hollister, but I had a sinking feeling that that would not be where they would be. As I was walking away, I felt Sonic's eyes boring in to my back. Eventually it was too much, and I turned around. There was a sea of people between us, but he stood out to me. He was standing alone, far away from me, but I coud see his shoulders slumped, his face twisted in pain, and his eyes dripping with tears. As soon as I turned around and our eyes met, he took a step towards me with his hand outstreched. Unsure, I turned back and kept walking.

Sonic was fast. That was a fact. And yet it still surprised me to feel his hand on my shoulder. "Shadow, no, I didn't mean that-"

I jerked my shoulder away. "If you hadn't meant it you wouldn't have said it."

"Shadow-"

"Leave me alone, Sonic." I said through gritted teeth. What was I saying? I didn't want him to leave me alone. I wanted him to hold me, to let me cling to him. I wanted him to tell me he loved me...

"I'm sorry." he sqeaked, cowering back. "I love you." He added softly.

I kept going. I couldn't deal with this right now. I should go talk to Cyan. I have to find Cyan. I need to be with Cyan... I passed by the food court and saw him. As soon as he saw me, he stood up. He left Amy and his food behind and came to meet me halfway. "What the hell happend?" He hissed.

"Sonic broke up with me." I whispered slowly.

Cyan's eye twitched. "That son of a-"

"Cyan, please don't call him that-"

"No, Shadow, I will-"

"Cyan." I rested my hands on his shoulders, tears still glistening on my muzzle. "Please don't."

"But Shadow, he-"

"That doesn't matter." I said, quivering. "I still care about him."

Cyan's nose twitched in annoyance. "Alright." He said finally. "So...now what?"

"It's your birthday."

"I have a birthday every year. It's not often that you cry over something." Cyan said, wiping a tear off my cheek. I'd stopped crying, but I was still breathing jaggedly.

"I know," I said, annoyed with myself. "But Cyan, really, it'd help if you'd just...leave it alone."

Cyan nodded and took hold of my elbow, dragging me away from the food court. I looked back and met eyes with Amy, who furrowed her brow in confusion. I frowned. Amy and I hadn't always seen eye to eye, and that was mostly due to us both vying for his affection. Although I guess it didn't matter now. I waved, signaling for her to follow us. "Shadow? What's the matter?"

"Don't worry about it." I mumbled, following Cyan outside. "Where are we going?"

"Home." Cyan growled. I stumbled along with him. I was unsure as to what i was supposed to feel. I was angry, hurt, and confused for sure. My outward demeanor settled on meloncholy, and my eyes settled on the ground. On the rather short walk home, not a single one of us talked. I felt Cyan stewing with anger, and Amy behind me, confused and very concerned. As soon as we returned to my home, we all gathered in my living room. Cyan and I sat together on my couch and Amy sat scross from up in a big arm chair.

"What's the matter?" She asked, looking between us.

"Sonic broke up with Shadow." Cyan said, resting his hand on my shoulder protectivly.

Amy's jaw dropped. "Why?"

Cyan had no answer, so he looked at me for one. "Uh...because in an effort to tell him I loved him, I mentioned that Cyan and I used to date."

Cyan sank lower in his chair. "Ohhh..."

I looked down at my hands. "I finished your birthday presant."

"Oh..." Cyan shooke his head, remembering that it was his birthday. that's one of the things I liked most about him. He didn't much think about himself. "Riiiight... what'd you get me?"

I stood up and sprinted up the steps, retrieving the Assasain's Creed hidden blade replica that I had made. I brought it down and handed it to him.

The moment he took it from me his face lit up. Cyan ripped his glove off and slipped it over his hand. "You made this? Where did you find the time?" The blue-green hedgehog asked, beaming.

I shrugged. "Whenever I had a free moment, I guess." I murmured, sitting back down and pulling my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly.

Amy, still shocked from the news about Sonic and me, moved closer. "How old are you today, Cyan?"

"Old enough." He chuckled.

"When should I sign you up for life alert?" I said with a weak smile.

Cyan stifled a laugh. "Not 'till I'm thirty, at least."

"That's not as far away as you may think." I pointed out.

Cyan pouted at me. "You're so mean to me, Shadow."

I said nothing, and instead hugged my knees tighter. I wanted to be alone. I knew Cyan would understand; I still chose to stay. Being around Cyan and Amy would probably be a lot better for my sanity anyways. I didn't really know what to do. I felt...hollow. I wished I'd stopped when Sonic had run after me. I wished I wouldn't have walked away. I wanted Sonic back.

Amy piped up next, interrupting my thoughts. "He's mean to everyone."

Cyan playfully elbowed me. "Why is that, Shadow?"

I remained silent. God, what I wouldn't give to be asleep right now...