As the rumble subsided Gwaine and Percival were stunned. They did not know what to do now. Merlin was trapped behind the rumble.
Merlin coughed; he slowly shifted some of the rocks off himself. It took him several moments. He didn't know what to do. He was injured and trapped; all the while magic less. His friends had returned to Camelot believing that he would join them. It would be ages before they sent someone to check on him. Worse they could believe he deserted them.
Merlin took a deep breath and calmed himself. He had the fate of Albion to consider; it was no time to freak out. Merlin made his way deeper into the cave. He had come for answers; he was going to get them.
The last time Merlin was in the cave, he could feel the presence of magic so strongly. Everything had an exuded magic. It had been wonderful. Now he was cold and alone. How things change. Merlin walked and walked for what felt like hours but in reality was only 20 minutes, he made it. The crystal's covered everything. It was breath taking. The crystals sparkled and glowed.
Merlin walked over to the closest crystal. He peered into it, hoping for the first time to see a vision. He saw his reflection only. What was he supposed to do now? He wished he had thought this plan out more thoroughly.
Merlin was exhausted so he sat down. He closed his eyes. When he opened them Balinor was there. Merlin couldn't believe it; his father was standing before him.
He must have died. It had probably been relatively painless; he hadn't even noticed that he died. It was strange to think that he had died in the birthplace of magic, yet somehow it was oddly fitting. Yet Merlin couldn't help but feel horrible, it was too soon. He had too much left to accomplish. Arthur needed him. Camelot needed him. All of Albion needed him. He needed more time.
"You aren't dead." His father stated. "So I suggest you stop trying to accept death."
Merlin nodded. "What is going on then?"
His father smiled; he looked just the same. "I am here to help."
Help; Merlin thought it was such a strange concept, his father was helping him. His dead father. He didn't think things could possibly become stranger.
"You have lost faith Merlin," Balinor declared. He had watched his son. He had never thought he could feel so proud. Yet he hated the burden his son carried. He had seen his son fight for so long; it seemed that it had finally taken its toll. Merlin had faith in everyone but himself. No matter what he said, he believed himself to be a failure. Balinor would not stand for that.
Merlin didn't understand. "I have faith. I believe in Arthur, Albion and the future that will be built."
Balinor smiled sadly. "My son you have lost faith in yourself."
Merlin looked down to towards the crystals. He considered what his father said and was still confused. He believed that he was something. He knew that there was good in him.
"Merlin my dear boy, you have lost faith in your power. You take every miscalculation as a tremendous failure. You no longer have faith in you magic." Balinor exclaimed.
Merlin looked ashamed. He didn't know what to say.
Balinor walked over to his son and placed his hands upon his shoulder. "It is ok to make mistakes; all beings no matter how powerful make mistakes."
Merlin sighed "I understand that, but what does that have to do with getting my magic back. I have no clue."
Balinor laughed. "You don't need to do anything but have faith in your abilities. You are struggling to bring out your magic. The demons of you failures are hunting you. Merlin remember that magic is as easy as breathing."
Merlin looked his father in the eye. He could see that his father believed in him. How did he tell him he was wrong? "Magic was as easy as breathing and then it was gone. I have tried so hard, yelled, begged and ever screamed yet nothing."
"Merlin you doubted yourself every time. The reason magic came so easy to you is because you are magic." Balinor stated.
Merlin was so confused. He knew that he had abilities, powerful ones, perhaps even unique, but it was still a gift.
"I don't understand?" Merlin asked.
"My dear son, you have always thought you were different, because you are different." Balinor declared. "Magic cannot leave you, because you were born as magic. It is so deep in your body, mind and soul that it has become part of your very being. You have been granted you power beyond all imagining."
Merlin tried to understand. Unfortunately he was having a difficult time understanding. "I have tried to use magic, Father. I have tried simple magic, difficult magic. I have shouted, screamed, whispered, begged. Nothing, every time nothing." He hated to admit it, when his father seemed to have such faith in him, but it was true. He wasn't as great as he thought, he was just like every other man.
Balinor laughed at this statement, his son had so little faith in himself it was appalling. The answer was in-front of him all along and yet he did not see. "Merlin my stubborn boy, you must have complete faith in yourself, and your abilities. It might help to let go of all those pesky regrets and mistakes you are holding onto."
Merlin was trying to adjust to this new information.
Balinor loved his son but he was so slow. "All this time you have believed that you alone had to make destiny come to pass, it does not work that way. Fate shall insure that what is meant to be occurs, you are a man who shall make mistakes, but that does not mean that they should haunt you. Merlin Mordred's choices don't mean that you are a failure. They merely show his weaknesses."
"But if I had acted differently, if I had embraced him opposed to shunning him." Merlin stammered out.
Balinor had enough of this self pity. "Merlin enough! Mordred made his choices willingly without regret. He choose to ally himself with Morgana, that burden is on his shoulders and his alone. It is time for you to stop living in the past. Clear your conscious and move forward."
Merlin sighed; he realized he had been holding onto this regret. It had been a part of him for so long, every year it grew, and now it had taken over his heart. It was time to forget the mistakes of his past, and try to deal with the present. That was enough for one man.
Balinor knew he had very little time left. He had been granted the greatest gift he could ever ask for, the chance to guide his son. To be the father that he never was. He had the chance to see his son. It brought tears to Balinor's eyes. He was unbelievably proud of the man Merlin had become. He had such kindness and compassion in his heart, he was truly unique amoung men. "My time is fading, son remember magic is in your very soul. The only thing standing in your way is you."
"I understand Father. I don't know how to thank you." Merlin said.
"It is a fathers duty to help his son." Balinor stated. "Merlin before I go, I just wanted you to know that I am so proud of the man you have become. And that I love you."
Merlin was choking up. "I love you Father, you have helped me so much in so little time." Balinor began to fade. Merlin knew that the dead must stay dead, but it felt like he was losing his father all over again. He smiled at his father, he wanted his last image of him to be one of happiness.
Balinor vanished.
Merlin stood still for a moment, trying to take everything in. He had to accept that his father could never have stayed forever. It was life.
Merlin looked out into the emptiness of the cave, he tried to head Balinor's words. Could he really have changed Mordred? Merlin knew that his decisions did impact the young sorcerers decisions. But that did not mean that he was responsible. Mordred made his own choices, he had to live with them. Merlin finally realized that he had done what he thought to be right, every decision he made, was made for the right reason. No matter what anyone else did, he wanted to do what was right. How could he blame himself? What more could he ask of himself?
Merlin felt that tension he had in his chest for all these years vanish. He looked at the crystals, and simple asked. He did not panic, or beg, he just willed the crystals.
He saw, Morgana and her army marching.
Merlin couldn't believe that it was that simple. Simply acknowledging that he had come to terms with his shortcomings, he just had to let go. He had his magic back, it was as if he had never lost it in the first place. His father was right.
Merlin felt such happiness, he was ready to run, dance and jump at the same time. But he had to focus. He looked at the crystals.
Morgana had assembled a larger army than even he had imagined. But Merlin felt confident that he could protect Camelot.
He had never felt more powerful, he never felt more connected with his magic. He felt it surging through his body. He had never looked forward to a battle, but he was sure this was going to be fun.
Merlin was feeling so confident, but then the vision changed. It was Athuisa his dragon. Morgana was enchanting a sword. She was creating another Excalibur. Slight problem, Merlin thought. He could deal with it. Where was Mordred? Merlin wondered; the crystals seemed to hear his subconscious question, the vision changed. Mordred was standing in-front of a vast group of Druids, Merlin had never seen so many.
Merlin could hear Mordred's voice as if it was in the room. "You have already sworn to side with Morgana. She has never called you to battle."
Merlin realized these were the Druids Morgana was conspiring with, they were the ones that told her of the Diasmair. They were a threat. Merlin focused back on Mordred's speech.
"She has felt that you are not necessary, but I disagree. I am calling you to battle. We shall crush Camelot with the very thing it fears; Magic. The mighty soldiers of Camelot will quake in fear when the Druids spill there blood without ever raising a sword."
"Mordred we may be powerful, but we can't deflect every blade, every bow. We are mortal men. Camelot has vast numbers we shall be crushed." The leader of the Druids spoke.
Mordred had a gleam in his eyes, "I would not worry about that. I choose the Mount Badon for a reason. As Morgana's saxon army attacks, You shall line the tops of the mount, far from the occupied soldiers, From such a height you will be all but invincible."
Merlin saw the genius of the plan. Camelot would be fighting two wars, one was of swords, they could handle that. But Mordred intended to make this a magical war. Merlin knew that he needed help. He would not let his ego be a hindrance. He had a feeling he could defend Camelot against even the Druids, but he wasn't going to risk his friends lives like that. He had Druids that he could ask. He would assemble his own army. He would show Arthur that sorcerers were on his side, and he would show sorcerers that Arthur was on there side.
Merlin turned around, he was ready to face the world.
Gwaine and Percival were trying to move the rocks away, but there were just so many. It would take them days, even with help. The rock slide had forced them to run, they had barely missed the rubble. The rocks fell for a good 5 minutes. They hoped to God Merlin was alright.
Merlin saw that the rocks were piled heavily. He smirked; this was nothing. He just thought and withing seconds the rocks were blasted aside.
Gwaine and Percival were catapulted back. They sailed throw the air, landing with a dramatic thump.
Merlin hadn't realized someone was there. But we he looked up he saw Gwaine and Percival lying on the ground.
Merlin ran over, so afraid that he had hurt them. In his haste to reach his friends he didn't notice the fact that he had just stepped over the dead bodies of the assassins. Gods he thought, what did he miss.
Merlin saw Percival shift, he was alright that was good. But what about Gwaine. He couldn't be hurt.
"Gwaine wake up!" Merlin shouted.
Gwaine felt his head pounding. He knew he had been in the air, he hated it. He wanted to stay firmly planted on the ground. Honestly how did birds manage to land.
"Hey mate, what happened?" Gwaine moaned out. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief, he grabbed Gwaine and made his sit upright and then made his way to Percival.
He was already moving, he had a nasty bump on his head, but other than that he was fine.
"What happened?" Percival choked out.
Merlin sighed; "I could ask you the same question, why aren't you in Camelot?"
"Came back...Arthur said you were in trouble...you needed help." Gwaine coughed out.
Merlin didn't want to risk healing them, he was afraid that he would cause more damage, but then he remembered his father's words; have faith in himself.
Merlin focused on Gwaine's wounds; they seemed less severe, there was a smaller chance of him damaging Gwaine permanently. Merlin felt it, his magic doing his will. He knew instantly Gwaine was healed. With the same confidence Merlin turned his attention to Percival.
Gwaine was dumbfounded; his head was perfect. In-fact he hadn't felt this good in years.
Percival felt it too. He had the strength back in his body, it was as if he was a teenager again.
Both Knights looked at there friend, he had a look of pure happiness on his face as if some internal test had been passed.
"I'm back" Merlin declared.
Hey I am sorry if there are mistakes as usual, i try to proof read and stuff.
Other than that I hope you enjoy the chapter. :)