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Chapter Nine

Fight

I awoke on the floor of the Gryffindor Common Room, aching in places that I had previously not known the existence of.

The fire from the night before was out, and the room was cold and empty as snow fell continually outside. My trousers and boxers were down around my ankles and my shirt was tossed aside on the floor. I pulled the lower part of my clothing up and began to stand, only to find an immediate sharp pain in my left thigh and right calve. These pains struck simultaneously, and they knocked me off my feet and on to the couch. There on the arm, I found my uniform shirt- it was ripped apart at the buttons. I repaired it with a quick charm (I found my wand in my robes hanging off a desk, the desk also having to be repaired along with the robes) and dressed myself, always looking around to see if any student came and found me, but I knew it was a ridiculous thought. Besides Sirius, all of the Gryffindor students went home for the holidays, as the family lives of the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff students were usually more healthy than that of the students' of Ravenclaw and Slytherin.

There was a certain general mentality to the students of the separate Hogwarts houses; Gryffindors were brave and bold, and Hufflepuffs were amiable and friendly (most of the time). These were the two more admirable and pleasant houses in the school, but certainly not the most competent, with the exception of the mudblood Lily Evans. Ravenclaw and Slytherin were of a darker nature within the school. The students of these two houses were very intelligent, Ravenclaws in particular, and good looking, but usually not very friendly. This all contributed to the family lives of the students. In Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, the students usually came from good, well-rounded and solid families, which made for healthy mentalities among the students. The students of Ravenclaw and Slytherin, however, were slightly more complicated. Though many of them were rich and successful, the parents of these students all came from a shady crowd, but what was shady then is nothing compared to what is considered shady now. A vast majority of these students were mentally ill, they just didn't know it. The others that were not mentally ill were just emotionally unbalanced. This was more evident in the Ravenclaw house, as the majority of students suffering nervous breakdowns, especially around the time of exams belonged in this more academically adept house. I had been in Charms class one time a year before during a study period for O.W.L.s, and an incredibly intelligent Ravenclaw girl named Albertine Fast (who had looked distressed the entire day) started breathing very heavily and then began to cry uncontrollably, promptly having to be removed to the quiet hospital wing. I had also heard of another Ravenclaw, this time a boy, who started turning greenish blue and writhing in pain while meowing like a deranged cat and banging his head against the wall until his skull actually cracked. That was only a rumor, though. What people said was that he gulped down a potion when no one was looking so it would look like it was Slughorn's fault that he fractured his skull. I told you Ravenclaws are crafty buggers.

After I was fully dressed, I looked around the room and saw none of Sirius' clothes, and nothing of Sirius altogether. I wasn't completely surprised at this, having experienced this scenario before, and I made my way to the portrait hole I vaguely remembered tumbling through the night before. It was difficult to lift my legs over the platform to get though, but I managed it, sort of stumbling out and hearing a small cough of disapproval from the fat woman in the horrible pink dress in the portrait over the passageway. I should have stayed there to see Sirius, but I knew that he was no longer in the Common Room. Ever since we were young, Sirius and I had had an odd feeling whenever one was in the midst of the other, which made games of hide-and-seek in Grimmauld Place years before very tedious. We never spoke of it formally. Through the years this odd attribute had faded, but had become more pronounced in myself recently, though Sirius did not show any sign of being able to know when I was in the vicinity of him.

Other recently unknown abilities had surfaced in my mind that were becoming steadily more powerful as the days passed. Before the Christmas Holiday, I found that every time there was some sort of surprise test in McGonagall's class, I knew it beforehand and told Severus. He didn't believe me the first few times, but as soon as my predictions on the matter became frequent, he would study the night before what I knew was on the test. Other odd things were happening as well; I kept seeing events during my day before they happened, and I knew what people were going to say before they said it. I thought it might have something to do with a kind of unintentional Legilimency that I had somehow developed, but I had never even studied that type of magic before. Since there were barely any students in the school, I wasn't able to practice this newfound skill I had not yet found a name or cause for. I thought back to the dream that I had had, and wondered whether or not that had something to do with the future. The words that the snake/Severus thing said were no doubt cryptic, but I seriously had no idea what any of them meant. I had written them all down and put them in a drawer in my bedside table, and told no one about that part of the dream, though I did tell Severus that I had a dream that he had the face of a snake. He merely smirked and chuckled, then returned to his work that he had been doing that day. I couldn't recall any Seer blood in our family, but something may have come through with my mother's blood. It would have been interesting to be a Seer, or to be able to perform Legilimency without knowing I could. But that, of course, was very unlikely, and I doubted that I could actually see the future, and I was probably imagining it as I did so many other things.

It was January the first, 1979- New Year's Day. It seems so very long ago, though it really isn't at all.

The snow had stopped falling, and hadn't done for about two days, but the overcast sky foretold that there was going to be another blizzard before the other students returned. I had not seen Sirius since that night a few days before, as I hadn't actually put much thought into his existence. I knew that this time our unorthodox tryst had been actual, as it wasn't nearly as dreamlike as the last in Grimmauld Place. It was at this point I realised we were getting out of hand with this. I wasn't supposed to be doing this, it was against a Death Eater's morals, I assumed, and I wasn't about to go against that. There was something going on, something strange, and there would be something even stranger coming. I didn't know what was going to happen, but it wasn't going to be good, and it would be coming soon.

I walked out to the lake at my usual spot and looked out over the frozen surface and into the trees of the Forbidden Forest. The snow had begun to fall again, and I brushed it off of my shoulders and peered into the forest. There were dark shadows moving among the trees in the cold thicket, staring back at me with huge eyes. I averted my gaze and returned it to the lake. There were also things moving in the murky depths of the icy water; mermaids, fish, perhaps even the giant squid again. I thought for a moment how interesting this was. When I had been staring out the window, everything stood still in the freezing air. Not a thing seemed to move except for me walking out to the edge. But there was still so much going on underneath. So much I couldn't see from far away... Everything was about to happen- I was on the edge of history.

"Regulus," Tom appeared by my side, and somehow I had expected it.

"Something big is going to happen, isn't it?" I asked automatically without a return formal greeting, "Yes, something is." I turned and looked at Tom, his face was no longer as congenial as it had been the months before when I had met him at this very spot. It was hard and determined with his green eyes staring out over the distance.

"But you are going to have to tell me what that something is, Regulus." His words were breathed out of his mouth and turned into whispy clouds in the cold air.

"What do you mean? I asked you, Tom!" I said, half-chuckling in disbelief.

"You can no longer call me that anymore." Tom shot out indefinitely, piercing his eyes suddenly on me, "You are now to call me Lord Voldemort. Do you understand?" His words were forcefully uncharacteristic, but I could see that he was serious, "Now tell me what is going to happen!"

"I don't know! Why are you asking me?" I was taken aback and suddenly irate, peering at this Lord Voldemort as I had never seen him before. Pompous ass... He reminded me of some kind or serpent, his skin drawn tightly across his face which made it look, now that I saw it correctly, waxy and shiny, as if it was not altogether real.

Voldemort now took ahold of my robes, and I knew that he was an altogether different person, "I chose you because you have the ability to see events before they happen, to sense things that have not yet come to pass! Now, tell me! WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!" My brain felt like it was going to burst and I could see images flying through my mind of past events, thoughts, even dreams...

"I DON'T KNOW! LET GO OF ME!"

Voldemort threw me to the ground and I stared up in white-hot fury, the snow stinging my hands and face, "Maybe I was wrong about you, Regulus. Maybe you don't have the loyalty to be a true Death Eater, or maybe, you just don't have it in you to kill a muggle. I suppose you are as cowardly as everybody says you are. I suppose you'll always be someone's bitch."

I sprang to my feet with my wand at the ready and shouted, "Sectumsempra!" A flash of red light jolted out of my wand and blasted Tom backwards. This was a spell that Severus had invented and told me about during Potions class. He spoke to me briefly about the effects, but mostly told me that it was to be used for enemies. And right now, Tom was an enemy. looked down at him as his waxy skin split as if he was being cut by a hundred knives. Before he could even begin to scream, I hissed "Muffliato," as to insure that he could not be heard. No matter how great a wizard or a Lord he was, he still had had no defence against sectumsempra because nobody knew about it except myself and Severus. This gave me a brief swelling of pride, and I knelt down by Voldemort, his blood getting all over me, though I managed to keep a straight face and whispered one final spell, "Petrificus totalus." Now he couldn't move, so his arms couldn't flail about, and his body was bound so that, though he was still rapidly losing blood that was now drenching me, he could not try to relived the pain by moving. This was my plan, my cold, maniacal plan that came to me in an instant.

"You call me a coward, Lord Voldermort?" I saw the intense pain in his unblinking eyes, and also in them disbelief that he had been beaten down by a mere student, "I'm not the one bleeding myself out on the snow right now, am I? I don't know anything yet, my Lord, but as soon as I find out I will be sure to let you know." I flicked a piece of his blood drenched hair out of his now scarlet face, and I could see the tears streaming from his eyes as the blood got into them, "I'll kill muggles, my Lord. I will be loyal, and I will be absolute. I am your Death Eater." The iron taste of the blood was in my mouth now, and I knew it was time to stop this.

"Finite Incantatem," I said as I stood, still covered in Tom's blood. He just remained there on the snow, and I thought that he might have been dead, but the clouds of mist coming from his mouth told me that he was still alive. As I watched, the wounds on his face began to close and the tip of his wand turned blue. When all of the gashes were closed, he rose. Still covered in blood, he looked at me with those scary emerald eyes and I felt fear go up my spine in a horrific jolt. His handsome face was now covered in blood, as was the rest of him, and he was breathing heavily.

"I should kill you right now, Regulus Black," he hissed through his bloody lips, "But that would be a terrible loss to my cause. I hope you do not disappoint me again." And with a resounding crack that echoed across the empty space of the school grounds, he disapparated.

I had thought I was going to die right then. I thought Tom- Voldemort- was going to kill me for what I did. And, as I looked down at the snow, I could not believe what I had just done. I was still covered in blood, and the snow was a deep red. It was now I who was breathing heavily. I could have just gotten out of what I'm in right now, I had one chance to quit being a Death Eater. I could have killed him right there... I had him at my feet!

I should be blamed for so much, but I'm going to get it... very soon. Just a few more days now, and I will be no more. No more of this cell, and no more of this life.

Happy New Year.

I wish I had known that that would be the last New Year's Day I would ever have.

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The students returned to Hogwarts a week after the incident in the snow, and classes resumed as usual.

I had the aching feeling inside me that I has just been fleeced. A wizard of Tom's magnitude could not have been brought down by a wizard of my level... I was only in my sixth year at Hogwarts, and he was ready to take on the world with attacks of magic! I mean, really! Tom probably could have hexed me off, or maybe I was actually as talented as he said I was. I suppose I'll never know. Though I still didn't understand why Tom had supposedly let me torture him, this would be the last of my worries as I walked out to the grounds one sunny afternoon to witness two seventh years fighting in the snow, one with blonde hair and one with black- with no wands. Some of the snow around them was flecked with red, and more began to appear as I watched them hit each other in the face and in other places. The shouting crowd circled around them cheered louder as blonde one took out his wand, but the black-haired one knocked it out of his hand and tackled him, pinning him down and punching him in the jaw. It looked like this fight had just started, and I couldn't do anything but stare.

This was Lucius and Sirius fighting, and I didn't do a thing to stop it.

Lucius sprung up and punched Sirius in the stomach, knocking him down, and then his forehead collided with Lucius' knee.

I just kept gawking at the two young wizards battling like muggles.

Sirius stood and with a ragged "You fuck-" jammed his elbow into Lucius on the side of his head and sent him down, "Don't you ever go near him again or I will rip your bloody head off!"

"What, Black?" Lucius said cynically while smirking through bloodstained teeth like some kind of a rabid animal after it has had its fill of meat, "Do I detect a bit more than brotherly love in your voice?"

Sirius stared down at him for half a moment and then kicked Lucius right in his smug face. I saw the teeth fly, "That's none of your business, you piece of shit! You don't even want him for love, you sick fuck!"

I knew who they were talking about, yet I still did not move. Somehow, it was satisfying to see the two people who had given me the most pain throughout the last year to be pulverising one another over me. I told you I was truly messed up. But I would later come to find that this feud was not only about me, but about James and his mudblood (but nonetheless pretty) girlfriend Lily Evans. Evidently, James and Lily were planning a wedding right after graduation, and Lucius felt it necessary to go and rag on him about it. I was surprised when I first heard this to find that it was Sirius and not James that was fighting Lucius, but then I heard the rest of the story of this chronologically evident brawl. Lucius had scorned James earlier in the day, and Remus had been able to hold James back. But then, as the day progressed, Sirius found it incumbent to pick on Severus as he usually did, and Severus let something slip in his rage that he should not have let slip.

'Too bad your brother gets it up the ass from Malfoy every night! But I'll bet your Lupin here knows all about that!'

After that, Sirius just walked off and found Lucius, proceeding to hit him as hard and fast as he could before Lucius had any idea what was going on. I'm surprised Sirius didn't come and find me first and beat me up while asking me why I didn't tell him. Why I didn't just break out and start crying to him about the never-ending sexual harassment I had to endure through that entire ordeal that could have been ended. I can almost guarantee that if I had just put a stop to all that, I wouldn't be where I am today. The rapes lowered my opinion of myself, and I saw Tom's offer as an offer of power, and that was what it was for a while- but I'm getting ahead of myself again. That's going to come soon enough.

The two young wizards were still fighting, and were just clawing at each other like something I had never seen before. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, nor did I want to stop it. A part of me just wanted them both to kill each other. They were both suffering inside, I knew it. Sirius had fights with our parents even when he was at school through howlers they would send back and forth to each other. It was all so stupid, but when I saw him stalking off to his dormitory with the black envelope I just turned my head. I probably shouldn't have done that, I should have spoke to my parents about it and told them to stop instead of just watching like I was then. Lucius, though he never told me, also had deep-seated problems. His father abused him sexually when he was young, this I found out just a few days ago, and that's what made him do it to me and everybody else. It made him feel powerful, it gave him an empty sort of power that filled what his father took from him if only for a moment.

This is only what I've come to assume, of course. I have had more than enough time to think about these things.

I began to walk towards them, but my legs wouldn't move, and then I heard a voice, not in my ear, but in my head. It was Tom speaking to me, telling me not to get any closer. Just as the utterance ended, a blast of purple light appeared and knocked Sirius and Lucius to their feet. Dumbledore then came striding over accompanied by Filch, the huge groundskeeper whose name I can't even remember, and Professor McGonagall, who rushed to Sirius' side and took no notice of Lucius. Dumbledore levitated the boys back into the school and diplomatically told the throng of students around them to resume their activities. The floating forms of the unconscious wizards were followed in also by a few of their friends; Sirius by James and Remus, and Lucius by a couple of his mates that I had seen at the meetings. Between the two groups was Wormtail, who had the odd expression on his face of somebody who didn't know which side to go on when two people he admired obsessively had just beat the hell out of each other.

After the crowd of students dispersed and Sirius and Lucius were quickly transported inside, I caught sight of Dumbledore, who was staring at me intently with his stark blue eyes as he walked closer, finally reaching after what seemed like hours under his gaze.

"Come with me, Regulus." He said in an uncharacteristic tone of severity. I followed him to his office where he shut the door quietly behind us and then began too speak in his naturally even tone.

"Regulus, I believe that I told you that you could confide in me any problems that may have risen between you and Lucius Malfoy, did I not?"

I was getting sick of this, "You did, Sir."

"Then why, pray tell, did you not tell me when you were being raped nearly every night by him?"

It was uncomfortable for me to hear Dumbledore use the word 'rape', though I'm not sure why. Perhaps it was with the level tone he said it with, or because it was just strange to be talking about sexual interactions with your Transfiguration professor. But any way it was, I was still in a damned tight situation, and Dumbledore knew how to sense lies.

"I don't know what you-"

"Pardon me for interrupting, Regulus, but I really think that you should try to tell the truth about this highly serious matter," He was not looking at me, and I knew it was because he was uncomfortable with this subject as I was, "I heard from one student of the cause of your brother's and Lucius' fight, and I have had these kinds of complaints from students before in Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Evidently, the students in that house have a similar 'form of government' so to speak as the Slytherins have seemed to form." Well, that made a lot of sense. Ravenclaws were known also for their sexual promiscuousness, but to think that they would have a similar setup as the Slytherins was very plausible.

"Then why didn't you try to put a stop to it when you knew about all this?" I asked, keeping my voice as level as I could without letting the unprecedented anger in me rise. Dumbledore sighed and closed his eyes, "I have tried to speak with Professor Slughorn about monitoring the goings-on in his house, but whenever he checks in on the dormitories, he claims he sees nothing wrong."

"That's because we know when he's coming to check in, and everybody stops what they're doing," I said, not thinking of the consequences of the information I had just disclosed to Dumbledore.

He turned to me now and stared at me again, "And how exactly do they know when he is making a visit?" He asked. I had wanted to avoid this subject, but I had said too much. There was no turning back now.

"Professor, ever since I was younger, I have bee able to see things before they happen. I've dreamt of events that are to take place the very next day or even the next week. I know when things are going to happen, and that's why I've grown used to it when Lucius..." I stopped there. My eyes were connected with Dumbledore's and he said, "Regulus, there is no excuse for somebody to 'get used' to what Lucius has been doing to you, but I see that it has somehow not affected you, unless you have become very skilled in acting."

I lowered my head slightly and stared upward at Dumbledore, "You know, the way you're looking at me now," he said unexpectedly, "You remind me of a student I had here some time ago. His name was Tom Riddle." I sat up and stared at him while his eyes twinkled behind his half-moon spectacles, "Ah, I see you've heard of Tom. Yes, he was a brilliant student, but I don't know what he is up to now," he mused though never taking his eyes off me, "With your abilities, I suggest that you stay away from Tom Riddle if you should ever come in contact with him." Dumbledore then stared at my forearm, and I fought the new instinct to grab it and somehow try to hide it from him though the mark was hidden safely beneath my sleeve. It was obvious that he knew about my acquaintance with Tom, but how much did he know? I would just have to play along, change the subject, and then I could leave. I felt something important was going to happen as soon as I left Dumbledore's office.

"So, what are you going to do about Lucius now that you've confirmed the truth?"

"Oh, Regulus, the truth was confirmed before! I knew there was something going on in the Slytherin house, but you are not the first individual case I have heard about." I was glad he was so apt to change the subject, "Now, I will not and cannot have Lucius expelled for his indecent acts because I am neither the head of his house, nor am I the Headmaster of this school. Though I depose the fact of you having to do this, I am afraid that I cannot ask you to do anything out of the ordinary when you are in the Slytherin dormitories. I do assume that Lucius has learned something from the brawl with your brother, but I cannot guarantee anything that would change the horrible way the Slytherins have been acting!" His voice was a bit more emotional now, and you could tell that he was very sorry about this whole affair.

"There is no need to worry about it, Professor," I said, straightening up and putting a pleasant look on my face, "I have handled it for years, and a few more months I daresay will not do anything to me."

"It should not be like this, Regulus. You should not have to put up with this." Dumbldore was remorseful, and I had to commend him for his authentic concern.

"Sir, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but there really is nothing to do... I have to go now, sir. Please excuse me." I turned abruptly and began to walk out the door, surprised that Dumbledore was actually letting me excuse myself, "Regulus!"

I turned again, "Yes, Sir?"

"Perhaps if Headmaster Dippet does not find a suitable divination professor in a year's time, you might be interested in the position."

"Thank you Sir, but I really quite despise that field of magic." Dumbledore smiled faintly and said, "I do not blame you."

I gave Dumbledore a small bow and left the room, sort of amazed at the surreality of this entire day. Dumbledore had let me go out of his office with no advice on how to deal with the Lucius problem, which was surreal in itself. What was also surreal was the trip back to the Slytherin Common Room. Never in my life have I had to endure so many people staring and pointing and whispering about me when I was right there. Nearly every Gryffindor and Hufflepuff I passed hissed to somebody next to them a notion of sympathy, or a whisper of unfounded disdain. I didn't expect to see James or Remus in the hallway, as I had seen them follow Sirius into the Hospital Wing, so I walked through the halls without any hint of a friendly face. The Ravenclaws wouldn't even look at me, and then I noticed I was the only Slytherin in the hallway. I now ran back to the Common Room- there was something wrong.

The room was packed with Slytherins, as usual, but they were all centred around one person, and silent.

"Regulus, come here." The very voice threw chills up my spine, something it had never done before. It was Tom, as you probably have guessed, and he was angry, "Come here NOW!"

Every person in the room was now staring at me, and I moved slowly to the large velvet couch upon which Voldemort sat. I have no idea how he go tin undetected, but then again it seemed like he had perfected that art over the last year. He was much paler now, and there were dark circle under his eyes. He glanced at me once, and I was met once again with the curse of the Cruciatus. This time it seemed like hours I was under it, but when I was finally relieved, I fell unconscious from the pain. My last thought before I passed out was, Fuck, why does this always happen?

I awoke in a dark room on a dusty floor, surrounded by people in long, dark robes, wearing masks in the shape of skulls. Before I really had a chance to register what was going on, they grabbed me by the arms and hoisted me up. They ripped off my school robes and I began to struggle, hoping this wasn't another unpleasant experience that would further ruin my mentality, but they merely put a black robe the same as their own on me, and then fastened the mask on my face. I suddenly realised we were in Borgin and Burke's, and all of my classmates were standing around me. Tom was in the front of the room, talking with Burke.

Now I knew what was going on; Tom/Voldemort couldn't wait for the summer holiday. His plan had to be put into effect now, and I wasn't ready for it. I would never be ready for it.

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