"Oh my god…….oh…..my…….god." Sasori had opened the door to the condo. He, Zetsu and Kakuzu had come back to the condo while Hidan and Kisame stayed behind to keep Tobi from doing anything stupid. What they had walked into was a living room full of shopping bags. Shopping bags everywhere…..EVERYWHERE.

"Hey Sasori! Oh my god! We got so many like totally great deals today, yeah!" Dana said coming into the living room to gather up some of the bags.

"How much did you all spend today?" Sasori asked stepping around the bags.

"Oh not too much, yeah."

"Dana! Dana…..how much is not too much?" Sasori continued finally making it through the sea of bags. Of course, it wasn't Sasori's money so he shouldn't' have been so concerned. Of course Itachi and Deidara were ruining the Akatsuki credit history maxing out cards all the time. Somehow those cards always managed to get paid off after they were maxed. Dana bit her lower lip.

"Seven thousand dollars, yeah." Dana said softly. Sasori nearly collapsed in the kitchen.

"But oh, Sasori! You should see Itachi's new ultra sexy black pants, yeah." Dana tried to convince him.

"He has 4 pair of black pants!" Sasori said quickly pouring a shot of Jose Cuervo Tequila.

"Oh, but these are THE pants, yeah. They are just so….Oh! I'll have him put them on, yeah!" Dana was getting ready to run off when Deidara appeared fresh out of the shower wrapped only in a towel.

"Hey guys! Oh my god, we ate at the best café today, yeah. I mean beautiful ocean view, very progressive menu, comparable to some of the Beverly Hills café's, yeah!" Deidara chirped. Sasori didn't say anything for a moment. Kakuzu and Hidan had waded through all the purchases and made it to the couch.

"Okay, first off Deidara, haven't we talked about how you walking around in a towel makes my self esteem plummet. Secondly…..you had your hand half-way up Marisol's skirt all through lunch didn't you?" Sasori glared.

"Hell yeah I did. Now! I have to go finish getting dressed because we're leaving for Caliente in a few hours, yeah! Deidara said.

"You need a few HOURS to get dressed?" Kakuzu asked.

"Hello!? I have to organize my layers of clothes because that club will be hot, yeah. And Dana and Marisol have to get dressed and I've never seen Marisol's dress before…..I CAN'T WAIT!" Deidara scurried off.

"Alright, I'm changing to go to the wine tasting." Sasori said disgruntled. However, before Sasori could slip away to change his clothes for the afternoon events his cell phone rang. He waded through all the new purchases one more to get his phone off the kitchen counter. "Hello?" he answered it. He was surprised. "Sasuke? Is that you? Yeah….hold on. Itachi, phone." Itachi came out of the master bedroom wearing only Ralph Lauren boxers and his hair covered in something….salon scented.. Sasori decided it best to ask no questions.

"The phone is for me?" Itachi asked puzzled.

"Yeah." Sasori answered.

"Hello?" Itachi answered.

"Itachi, Itachi it's me Sasuke."

"Oh my god! What the hell do you want? I'm very busy right now." He said.

"How can you be busy at the beach? It's a vacation." Sasuke asked.

"I'm applying an all over recovery mask and root treatment to my hair to combat ocean drying and split ends…..what the fuck do you want!?" Itachi had things to do obviously.

"Okay, okay listen. You've got to help me please. Orochimaru and Kabuto have been battling it out at Dance Dance Revolution for 48 hours straight. God, Itachi! I can't take it anymore! I can't take their lame ass insults and Orochimau throwing his back out every time he tries to dip it low! I'm so sick of the Barbie Girl by Aqua remix! I can't stand this hell I'm living in anymore! Please, please Itachi I will do anything if you will just pick my up at the airport, I will fly down there! Oh good god, now they've switched to Cascada's 'Bad Boy'. Itachi…….I'm begging you here."

"You listen to me and you listen close. There is 397 dollars in our apartment in my bedroom in the center night stand drawer. Don't touch it! Underneath that money there is a blank check, take it and make it out to what the fuck ever airline you'll be on. Pack your shit and me and Deidara will pick you up at the airport. Oh and Sasuke……there are some rules. Rule number one, don't bring that sorry ass purple belt that you wear rule number two….I'm here with my girlfriend…..don't make me fill in the rest of that. Now, call Sasori's cell phone and let us know what time your flight is due in."

"Oh my god! Thanks Itachi. You have no idea how much….." Itachi cut him off.

"Okay, okay, okay, I'm going out to a club tonight so just shut up get ready and call when your flight is due in." Itachi hung up the phone, rolled his eyes and returned to the master bedroom to work on his hair treatment.

It didn't take Sasori long to change. "Bye guys, I'm going to meet Lola for the wine and cheese tasting." But before Sasori could leave Deidara came rushing into the living room, hair straitening cream all over his hands.

"Oh my god! Did you like so meet a girl, yeah? Is she close to your age or is she one of those ….hold on…..grand prize girls, yeah?" Sasori looked at Deidara ready to hit him in the face.

"Okay, first, it's called a trophy girl secondly I don't know how old she is, I never asked. Sasori didn't give him a chance to say anything else, he just slammed the door behind him.

"Hey are you all going to leave all of your new purchases in this living room? My god if Tobi come in here you know he'll crumple the bags. Zetsu said. Marisol came into the living room and started carefully gathering bags up.

"Oh my god Zetsu! You should so see the totally adorable Gucci shoes I bought today!" Marisol said taking a handful of bags out of the living room. She soon pranced back from the bedroom to get more bags. "And check this out! This top was totally on sale!" Marisol nearly sqeaked. Zetsu and Kakuzu looked at her top and managed to catch sight of the price tag.

"Um….Marisol? Is 113 dollars really a sale?" Kakuzu the financial wizard asked.

"Oh! You bet it is, this top retails for 495 dollars! I mean it's Versace shirt come on!" Marisol was so excited. "Well I'd love to tell you about more of our deals but I need to get in the shower while finishes up with that flat iron." Marisol ran off again.

"Hey, how do you think Kisame and Hidan are doing? And do you think Sasori will come back form the wine and cheese tasting drunk?" Zetsu asked.