Chapter 10
AN: Thank you so much for the reviews; you guys blow me away with how generous and kind you are! You make me proud and happy- makes this Midwest nurse want to write full time!...
Penelope did reasonably well on the trip back to her hotel room. She took a cab from the Undercover Club, and only sobbed out about a gallon of tears. She figured that was better than crying until she puked. She was hoping fervently she wouldn't do so, although deep down, that was exactly how she felt.
She'd made it up the elevator to the 9th floor. By then only sniffling enough that the bellboy with the Sunday paper delivery gave her a sympathetic look.
When the doors opened, he glanced at her and said, "Cheer up, ma'am. The day is supposed to be a bright one."
"Ever been in love?" she asked him, before blowing her nose in a Kleenex®.
"I'm nineteen, ma'am. I fall in and out of love all the time. It gets better; trust me." He patted her arm gently.
She chuckled despite her sore eyes and head. She was getting compassion from a kid almost half her age. "Well, be good to those that love you, too."
"Don't worry, ma'am." He shot her a cocky grin, very similar to a certain Alpha male's smile she loved so dearly. "I always leave 'em happy."
With that, the bellboy started slapping papers at the doors down her hallway.
She dragged herself to 9009, used her keycard, and entered her room. She stripped off the two items of clothes she was wearing, threw them on the floor, and entered the shower. Dousing herself in hot water, she was able to cry a little more. She stood there, and let the water wash away some of the ache in her heart.
Climbing out of the tub, she wrapped a towel around her head, and then another around her body. Luckily, the hotel had large, comfy, absorbent towels. She walked to the double bed she had yet to sleep on, pulled down the comforter, and laid down.
The need to sleep came on hard and fast. She had train tickets for three o'clock back home, and she had to check out by one. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was already seven forty-five. She set the alarm for noon, and then rolled over and fell asleep, still wrapped in her towels.
She'd barely shut her eyes when loud pounding woke her up.
"Penelope Garcia! Open this damned door!" He was pounding so hard, the door was vibrating on the hinges.
She blinked and sat up, the towel falling completely off her head. She looked at the clock; it was nine thirty-six. She sighed quickly in relief. At least he wasn't waking up the entire hotel.
"Coming," she croaked out her dry throat, frantically looking for clothes. She didn't pack a robe, and the only clothes she had readily available were the ones from the night before.
"Garcia! I'm going to kick this thing down, and you know I can do it!"
Dear Lord, of course he could do it; he did that for a job! She tied her towel around herself as rapidly as she could and threw the hotel room door open. "There is no reason to be an idiot!" she said sharply. "Be reasonable."
"Reasonable?" he questioned, looking absolutely furious. "You're the one who left, without your damned panties on, in the middle of the night, from the back of a sex club where any asshole could've grabbed you, and you are asking me to be reasonable?"
Another couple exiting their hotel room stopped and stared baldly at Derek and Penelope.
"Is everything okay?" the man asked archly.
He glared at them. "Mind your own fucking business!"
The couple's mouths dropped open.
"It's fine," Penelope said, rather embarrassed, making quick amends. Shrinking back in the room, holding her towel even more tightly, she gestured for him to come in.
He plopped down on her bed with barely leashed rage. She looked at him. This was not like Derek at all. He was rumpled furious. Derek took a long time with his appearance; he was, if anything, slightly vain with good reason to be. Now, he was very disheveled. His shirt was untucked, his buttons were in the wrong loops.
She took a deep breath. "Derek, you need to be-"
"Why did you leave me?"
The way he phrased the question, swift, heated, passionate, spoke almost as much as the words to her and tugged on her heart. He didn't say, Why did you leave? She would've been able to answer that rather glibly, making light of the whole thing. So much more easily than with the added me.
She was trying to think of a good response that would save her heart, but it was hard to do. She couldn't help but still look at him. He was restless; his right knee, the one he didn't hurt when he was playing football, was jiggling in impatience. He ran his hands over his face, then stood again, walking close to her.
"Derek, I-"
"Did I do something wrong? Did I repulse you, frighten you?" His words were swift, like he had to fight to get them out.
"No!" she said quickly. "No. It was... nice, Derek. It really was. I just... needed time to think, space to breathe."
"Then why?" he snapped, before he forced a rather Morganesque grin. "You know...I would've talked you into staying."
"I know, but I didn't want that!" she cried, her heart balking at that. Didn't he understand? She needed to guard her heart. She tried to explain. "That's why I had to go. Before one of us gets hurt."
Derek's face fell. "Oh, my God, Penelope. I didn't hurt you, did I?" His voice was just above a whisper, and very hoarse. "I wanted you so badly... I didn't mean..I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I-"
She looked at him. After giving her all that pleasure last night, he actually thought he physically hurt her. The man was crazy.
"No, you didn't hurt me, Derek. Not like that."
He sighed his relief. "Thank God."
"I liked it. I liked everything we did together." She began to blush, and watched his face light up with understanding and desire. She needed to hold her ground. She took a deep breath and turned away from his dark, searching eyes. "In fact, I liked it too much. I could have that every night and be so happy."
Derek's heart soared. He went to turn her, to tell her the same, then she continued.
"But I know... I'm not what you need."
"What do you mean by that?" he asked.
"You said you needed the club for release, for control." She looked back at him. "For what you like to do. Not for romance, like I want, Derek, and I can't do that. I can't be involved with you like that, and not want... more."
"I can't, either, silly girl," he said, cupping her face in his hands. "Not anymore, not now that I have you."
"You didn't even want me with!"
"I was afraid, Penelope. I've put you on a pedestal, made you so innocent and sweet. I thought there was no way..." He shook his head. "Just know that I was damned wrong. I thought you'd be freaked out. Instead, you met me all the way and proved yet again you're my perfect match."
She wanted so badly to believe it, but lacked fatih in herself. She whispered, "I'm not enough."
"You're more than enough!" He leaned forward, kissing her with the slightest brush of his lips. "Penelope, I love you. You are everything I could need, in every way."
"But the club-"
"I used the club for a release of tension," he said quickly and bluntly. "Partially sexual tension I felt for you, because you were with Lynch. And I was there once a year, P. That is not hardcore."
She looked at him with wide eyes, absorbing what he was saying.
"I'm possessive, I'm dominant, I'm jealous, I've got a very high sex drive, and I need my partner to have the same damn needs. But I am madly in love with you, and I want you to be happy, more than I want to be happy myself."
She thought about that. He was already like that to her, almost always. Just before, they didn't have sex.
She was missing out!
She realized then; last night was more than just trusting him. It was about trusting herself to be enough to, trusting herself to go for it and love him like he needed to be loved, and to be loved by him in exactly the same fashion.
He reached for her, pulling her into his arms. "If you can deal with my quirks, if you can let me continue to protect you and love the hell out of you, then we will be a very happy pair."
She sighed happily and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Can I still be on top once in awhile?"
He grinned. "I take it that you love me, too?"
"Yes," she said, kissing his cheeks. "I love you very much, Derek Morgan. I always have, and I always will."
"Good. No more running away. I can't handle that."
She arched a brow. "How did you find me?"
"After I searched the club frantically, worried to death," he paused, giving her a look that made her feel sheepish. "I called JJ at nine am. She knew which hotel you were staying at. You're not the only one who can research, you know."
She leaned into his chest even more. "I'll never leave again."
"You know I still have to punish you for that," he said, purring into the side of her neck.
She smiled as she dropped her towel. She was looking forward to it.