King Rat: Our Kingdom

Author Notes: Another fortnight, another fourteen dollars, and this chapter gets a little silly. Better than worrying about the crazy weather we've been going through, right?

Review responses!

Dragon77 and Kakashii'sWifey: Ahh, I always feel bad that Jien doesn't have a bigger part in the story! I wish he could show up every chapter. But believe me, he has an important role to play, just maybe a little later... and maybe, like suggested, at the worst possible time.

RodiSquall: I always heard sugar highs were a myth; kids just get really excited over getting sugar. Babies don't need sugar or alcohol to act like crazy little jerks, either. Fixed the spelling error again- I should probably stop ignoring the wiggly red line, since it sometimes knows what it's talking about.

DISCLAIMER: Nope, still not mine, just the original scenario and characters.

9: Gonna Be a Man!

"Lemme see it." Goku tapped his toes on the den carpet as he held Yohei's cheeks. Gojyo could hear that Yohei had been crying for a few minutes now, but waited for Goku to calm Yohei down.

"Uh-uh." Yohei kept sniffling, as Goku fidgeted with his face.

"Lemme see!"

"Uh-uh!"

"Open!"

"No!" Gojyo finally had to look and see what Goku and Yohei were arguing about.

"The hell are you assholes doing?" Gojyo stormed into the den. It was an April Monday, the one day of the week Hakkai and Gojyo agreed they could close the store with little consequence, and while Hakkai chose to go out and pick up some flowers from the farms around town for their orders, Gojyo had been convinced (or nagged, depending on who was telling it) to stay in and do some spring cleaning. With the shop busy, Gojyo and Hakkai had fallen somewhat behind on keeping the house as clean as Hakkai liked it, and while Gojyo saw absolutely nothing wrong with the curtains being a little dusty, Hakkai insisted it was part of teaching the boys to be hygienic out on their own (or "neurotic," according to Gojyo) that they see their childhood home clean. Sanzo had gotten caught up at the temple that morning, settling a minor dispute concerning some land on the outskirts of town (or, as Gojyo interpreted it, "eavesdropping on some major drama") but had sent Goku along to help Gojyo with the twins that day. Now, Eiji was busy with a box of crayons and some ledger paper, and Goku was trying to look in a crying Yohei's mouth.

"He had somethin' in his mouth!" Goku insisted over Yohei's whining, pointing. "I saw it!"

"Let my kid go!" Gojyo glared at him, and Goku did. Yohei promptly shoved his thumb back into his mouth, tears streaming down his face. "See, he's crying now, ass!" Gojyo knelt by Yohei. "Let Daddy see." Yohei refused to move his thumb, and a new round of crying began.

"See, I told you, he's got something in there, he won't show me!" Goku folded his arms, vindicated, and Gojyo finally wrenched Yohei's jaw open to see what Goku meant.

"Ohhh." Gojyo grinned. "Good eyes, Goku." He held Yohei's mouth open and pointed to the gum right below his nose. "Check it out!"

"That's a tooth!" Goku squealed with glee, leaning to look closer at the tooth. "Sweet!"

"No wonder you're crying, you little brat, your mouth hurts! Here, I know what to do about that." Gojyo let Yohei's mouth go, though Yohei continued to cry. He returned with a bottle of sake from the refrigerator. "I know it's better warm, but it's the strongest stuff we got in the house."

"What's that for?" Goku cocked his head as Gojyo poured a shot glass half-way full.

"I heard a finger of alcohol will calm a teething baby down. I dunno how much a finger actually is, but since he's mine, I bet he can handle his liquor." Gojyo grinned and shook the shot glass.

"Oh yeah, I guess alcohol kinda does have a numbing effect! That's a great idea!" Goku held the bottle as Gojyo got on his knees with the glass half-filled

"Okay, Yohei, open wide!" Gojyo crouched next to Yohei again, holding the shot glass out...

Three hours later, Sanzo arrived to find Gojyo and Goku cleaning a foul-smelling, splattered mess out of the bathtub while Eiji and Yohei were taking a nap. He flinched at the distinct smell of booze from the sick splattering the bathroom wall. "Drinking in the middle of the day?" The bile was apparent in his voice.

"It wasn't us- it was Yohei!" Goku jumped between Gojyo and Sanzo. "He got totally wasted!"

"How would he get drunk?" Sanzo looked at the two in turn, waiting for one of the idiots to confess.

"He has a tooth, so Gojyo gave him a fingerful of sake to help with the pain!" Goku gestured to his mouth, as Gojyo continued to scowl at the wall and wipe the vomit from the porcelain. "Cept we don't know how much is a finger, so we gave him a shot-"

"You did what?!" Sanzo rushed from the room to the nursery, where Yohei and Eiji were still soundly asleep. "You could have given him alcohol poisoning, you moron!"

"It was like half a shot of sake! Not even! He spit most of it out!" Gojyo got to his feet and followed Sanzo from the room. "He's fine!"

"He spewed all over your bathroom, and he's fine?!" Sanzo yanked Yohei from the crib. Eiji woke up and started crying, but Yohei opened his watery eyes and hiccuped. He sniffed Yohei- he too smelled like booze, not to mention the need for a fresh diaper, which Sanzo promptly began to give him. "A fingerful of sake is NOT a shot, nor even half a shot, you dolts."

"Hey, look on the bright side- he's not gonna wanna drink for at least a decade!" Gojyo sighed, forcing an optimistic grin. "No underage drinkin' in our house, no sir-"

"You're a complete idiot!" Sanzo snapped, and took Yohei from the table and stalked away, still fuming even with the baby still rested calm and smiling stupidly on his shoulder.

Sanzo spent the remainder of the afternoon on the roof, as Yohei slept off his inebriation. The night proceeded with neither father talking to each other until after the twins had gone to bed, as both parents stood at the side of the crib and looked down at the sleeping infants

"You said he was teething?" Sanzo didn't look at Gojyo, and Gojyo seemed to debate whether or not to answer him for a moment.

"Y-yeah. Are we cool now?"

"No. Which tooth?"

"Didn't you check?"

"He complained whenever I tried to open his mouth." He still refused to make eye contact with Gojyo, but Gojyo chuckled and gently lifted Yohei's upper lip.

"You can just see it. Little tiny bit of white there." He pointed at the upper gum, and Sanzo nodded.

"He'll be chewing things soon, I suppose."

"Yup. We'll be able to give them solid foods that are actually, you know, solid." Gojyo released Yohei's lip and rubbed his cheek. Yohei whined, and Gojyo drew his hand back like it'd been burned, glanced to Sanzo and laughed nervously.

"I suppose I'll have to be somewhat more careful with my sutra." Sanzo pulled his sutra from around his neck and looked it over.

"Ain't it, you know, protected?"

"As a divine item, yes, it cannot be corrupted or harmed. However, I don't know if it might harm them if they should unintentionally try to harm it." He rolled the sutra up and tucked it into his left sleeve. "It probably reeks of cigarettes anyway."

"Yeah, speakin' of which, I need one. Avoidin' you all afternoon's got me having cravings." Gojyo stretched his arms behind his head and strolled away, and Sanzo glared over his shoulder.

"You wouldn't have to avoid me if you weren't an idiot."

It seemed to the parents that this was the next step in the twins gaining independence, and Gojyo and Sanzo celebrated Yohei's advance by acquiring a set of teething rings. Hakkai joined the fun and began to check each boy's gums in the morning and at night, and while neither infant appreciated the procedure, within a week of beginning teething, Yohei had one-and-a-half teeth. Eiji, however, was having a much more difficult time- he heralded the start of teething by starting to cry out of the blue only a few days after Goku had spotted Yohei's tooth, but while Gojyo saw a lot of little white buds after four days of waiting, Eiji had none fully visible. In addition, it seemed that what he lacked in progress, he made up for in pain.

Gojyo lost track of how many hours Eiji spent crying. Once he started, he'd barely stopped, only when taking a bottle or sleeping and sometimes not even for those. Gojyo hated listening to Eiji cry from his work table, even as Sanzo tried to jostle and bounce him to comfort or distract him, feeling completely useless. Sanzo also seemed worn thin, but Gojyo felt muted surprise that he was not angry or frustrated with Eiji. Instead, he sat against the wall of Gojyo's work room, cuddling the child in his lap and rubbing tears from his chubby, flushed cheeks. Gojyo sat with them whenever he didn't have something to work on, as Yohei gummed on his hard toys and Eiji cried and chewed on his own hand.

"We gave them teething toys," Gojyo complained as Yohei broke an ear off of one of his wooden horses. "Where did they go?"

"Eiji dropped them in the toilet. Hakkai said he'd clean them," Sanzo was unable to make eye contact as he wiped Eiji's eyes and nose again. "I don't know if they even helped."

"How fuckin' long is it gonna take for them to get through this?" Gojyo pushed his hair back from his eyes.

"Where's the stupid baby book?" Sanzo leaned back against the wall, even as Eiji thrashed and sobbed harder.

"I have no idea."

"Then you've answered your own question," Sanzo shifted Eiji to his other shoulder and lowered his gaze. "Get me the sake."

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me. You heard me." Sanzo turned a vicious glare to Gojyo, and Gojyo scampered from the room, running past Hakkai up the stairs. Hakkai looked up from checking the ledger as he passed.

"Something wrong?"

"Sanzo needs a drink!" Gojyo called back behind him, and Hakkai giggled and ran his palm over his face.

"My, and it's not even noon yet."

Sanzo dipped his finger in the sake bottle, doing so deliberately and staring at Gojyo, who had handed off the bottle and perched himself on his stool, to ensure he was watching, then ran his finger along Eiji's swollen gums. Eiji whimpered, but sucked the rest of the alcohol off of Sanzo's finger. He wrinkled his nose up and shrieked in protest, until Sanzo dipped his finger in the bottle again and let Eiji suck the sake off. Eiji tried to spit, complaining to the tune of something that vaguely sounded like "It's bad, it's bad!" Sanzo patted his back until he settled down.

"That," he glared at Gojyo, "is two fingers worth of sake."

"Why'd you give him two?" Gojyo asked.

"Because I don't like that he's in this much pain. A bit of extra numbing won't hurt." The alcohol seemed to kick in and Eiji fell silent, sucking his thumb and staring at the wall with dilated pupils. Sanzo took a swig of the sake himself and tossed the bottle to Gojyo.

"Well, might as well join the crowd," Gojyo chuckled, and took a sip. He set the bottle down under his table, slid from his stool and took Yohei's toy from his mouth. "Hard to believe, they're gonna be men soon, right?" He gave Yohei a plain wooden block to chew instead, which he promptly did.

"No." Sanzo's dark eyes fixed on something distant. "They're still little boys."

"They're already drinkin', right? They're gonna be men!"

"Not today, not tomorrow," Sanzo returned. "A fingerful of sake does not a man make."

"Yeah, guess not." Gojyo leaned back into the playpen and checked in Eiji's mouth. He could see some of the teeth starting to push through the gums, though it seemed the sake was helping to reduce the swelling. "But hey, it's a step."

Over the next few days, the sake bottle was never more than two meters away from the twins, and neither was Sanzo. Sanzo insisted on giving them their "treatment" every couple of hours, which kept them unusually quiet. Instead of crying, Eiji spent most of his time staring, dazed, at the walls and floor, giggling at what seemed to be nothing. Yohei did not like the sake treatment, and as such Sanzo only used it on his gums instead of letting him have a tiny sip. Gojyo could hardly get close to them without Sanzo intervening, always a hands' breadth from taking either infant from him. Even after a week of Eiji teething, Gojyo wasn't allowed close, not even during the boys' evening playtime.

"You really don't trust me?" Gojyo laughed as Sanzo halted Gojyo's hand from lifting Eiji's lip. Sanzo stared evenly at him, as though to say 'You know the answer to that question.' "I wouldn't hurt them. They're my boys too."

"Stop playing with their mouths." Sanzo tossed Gojyo's wrist away. "You're going to make them more sensitive." He took Eiji from the room and stalked out towards the roof. Gojyo sighed, then crouched to check Yohei. Yohei had both front teeth, and Gojyo could see the little buds for most of his molars. Yohei turned away to get Gojyo out of his mouth, growling like an irritated little dog as he continued to play away from Gojyo. Gojyo sighed and turned back to Hakkai, who had watched the exchange from the kitchen table. Hakkai had busied himself writing up an order manifest, and only looked up from it again when Gojyo sat down at the table and sighed a little harder.

"Yes, I saw it. Yes, he trusts you," Hakkai began to answer before Gojyo could even ask. "Of course he does. He seems to be developing a protective streak." Hakkai tapped his lip with his pencil. "Then again, developing may not be the word. Exhibiting, perhaps- he's always had it."

"Please, that guy's only ever been about protecting himself."

"Do you honestly think that?" Hakkai looked directly at Gojyo, who slumped his shoulders and shook his head. "I didn't think so." Gojyo tried to sink through the floor, as Hakkai looked back to the ledger. "And even if that is so, then it makes his desire to protect them even more understandable- he had a difficult childhood. He wants them to have everything he did not or could not, such as a sturdy support system, a white knight to battle all their assailants, a shield from pain and ridicule, and the chance to be innocent. He must look at them and see all of his own lost potential. Don't you feel the same?"

Gojyo looked at Yohei, but couldn't answer. Hakkai smiled, and continued, "This is not the first time they have cried in pain, but this is the longest extent of time either has had to cry in pain. You've tolerated it well enough, but he must be heartsick seeing them ache for so long."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Hell, maybe I oughta be more upset." Gojyo smiled and pushed his hair back behind his eyes. "Still, they'll get over it. I know that, he probably knows that, it's just something they gotta go through." He sighed again, turning to watch as Yohei briefly stopped playing with his toy horse to gum on it, then began to jump it across the floor again. "I just wish..." Gojyo trailed off, but Hakkai leaned forward curiously. Gojyo chuckled, resting his hand on his chin. "I just wish he were more protective of me."

Hakkai smiled, though he saw a hint of sadness in Gojyo's expression. "You never know. Hard to say how he feels, really."

"Guess so." And with that, Gojyo went back to pestering Yohei while trying to play with him.

Near dinner time that night, Gojyo found Sanzo still on the roof with Eiji. As Sanzo had found himself spending more and more time out there, he had gradually brought around a few more things to decorate it. Now, there were two chairs and a table with an ashtray. Sanzo was not, however, smoking, instead reclining in the same position Gojyo had found him in countless times over the past week- leaned back in the chair with Eiji woozily dozing against his chest. He kept his distance and quietly tried to think of a way to broach the ice between them, but luckily, Sanzo took the initiative.

"When I was young-" he paused, glancing uncomfortably over his shoulder to Gojyo. "My... my master would tell this story about me as an anecdote. Before I had the presence of mind to remember such things, perhaps when I was eighteen months of age, I was in the same unpleasant position as this one. My teeth were coming in, but slowly and painfully. My master told me that he had to give me sips of strong sake once an hour just to keep me calm and quiet, and I would, according to him, act like a regular barfly." He scoffed and shifted Eiji to his other shoulder. "I would try and yank the robes of the other monks and look up them, and demand more sake whenever I saw him. But he said that without it, I was in a great deal of pain, so he had to suffer my being a nuisance until I got over it." He lifted Eiji up and rubbed his nose to his forehead. "Poor boy... I'm beginning to fear he will be too much like me. He already has my mouth."

"No, he doesn't," Gojyo chuckled, folding his arms. "He has my mouth, you see how big it is?" Sanzo glared at Gojyo, but Gojyo brushed it off with a laugh. "Look, they'll be exactly what we make them, and we gotta raise 'em right for that. That's all it is. You think I'm a shit parent?"

"No." Sanzo turned away again, looking back to the spring sunset over the city skyline.

"Right. Neither are you. They'll be fine. Just 'cause he's having difficulty teething doesn't mean he's gonna be just like you." Gojyo took a few tentative steps closer, opening his arms and leaning over Sanzo. "You can be protective, just don't be so scared of them growing up, okay?"

"Hmph." Sanzo narrowed his eyes. "I'm not. Is that all you're here to say?"

"Nope. Dinner's ready. Thought you might wanna see Yohei try and chew some rice."

"Of course." Sanzo got to his feet and strolled towards the trapdoor to the house, Eiji still lolling drowsily over his shoulder. Gojyo smirked and followed, wrapping an arm briefly around Sanzo's waist as he escorted him back to the house.

It seemed manhood was well on the way for the twins, at least as Gojyo viewed it. The boys were getting taller and taller from week to week, and their walking was steadier than ever. They were also getting much more clever, too. Gojyo soon didn't mind those scrutinizing blue and red eyes, no matter where they seemed to pop up. Door handles, for example, were no longer a challenge. Gojyo first discovered this in the shower one morning. He had gotten them dressed and went to shower before the store opened. It wasn't until about halfway through that he realized the door had been opened and he had two curious sets of eyes staring at him up and down through the shower door. He kept his mouth shut and carried on like he didn't have an audience watching him rub soap under his arms. He wrapped a towel around his waist as he stepped out, and stared down at them. Eiji's thumb was stuck firmly in his mouth, but Yohei smiled cheekily at him.

"Dada got-"

"Daddy knows what Daddy's got, okay?" Gojyo smirked, wrapping his towel a little tighter. "But stuff that happens in here is stuff we don't talk about outside of the house, got it?" He shooed them out the door, and leaned out to where Hakkai was reading the paper. "Hey, remind me to lock this goddamn door next time!"

This first incident notwithstanding, Gojyo didn't mind that the boys were gaining autonomy, until he realized that independence meant he couldn't keep them out of trouble as easily. June arrived, and Hakkai and Gojyo had entered their third month of business. While Sanzo spent most days watching the twins and caring for them while Gojyo worked, he occasionally had to take care of business for the temple- he had to at least pretend to care about his position. Gojyo was usually able to keep half an eye on the twins over his work, but when work got intense, he would start to forget they were there. However, they always knew he was there, and they were watching him.

This, Gojyo decided, was how they knew to scale the playpen quietly. This was how they always slipped past him while he was focused intently on cutting thorns from roses or comparing the lengths of stems. And this was how they got their first serious complaint.

"EEK! Get out of there!" Gojyo immediately peeked out of his office when he heard a customer shriek, then looked between the playpen and the store floor. Sure enough, the twins had escaped the playpen, and while Eiji had busied himself in the storage closet, Yohei had slipped under a customer's knee-length dress, and was now getting shooed out. He laughed wildly and went to cling to Hakkai's leg. She gasped, cheeks flushing bright red. "Is that brat yours?"

"No, he belongs to my business partner," Hakkai looked over her shoulder to meet Gojyo's eyes before he could dodge out of view. "Is there any reason they're out of their pen?"

"Well- y'see-" Gojyo started, but stopped when he heard a crash and saw a tumult of boxes falling from the shelves in the storage room. "Oh, fuck me!" He bolted from his chair to rescue a now-screaming Eiji from the avalanche he had caused.

"How dare you talk to customers like that!" The woman cried out, and stomped out the door in a huff. Hakkai smiled blankly to himself as Yohei toddled away from him and pressed his ever-sticky palms against the glass on the flower storage box.

"My, I suppose she won't be coming back." Hakkai came out from behind the counter to check on Gojyo and Eiji. Gojyo was silent but enraged as he examined the bumps and bruises on Eiji's head and knees, ignoring the satin rolls bruised on the floor and the multitude of pins rolling in three-hundred directions around them. "Is he okay?"

"Did you see them get out?" Gojyo yanked Eiji from the ground and hugged him to his chest. Eiji continued to cry and rub his eyes.

"I saw Yohei a second too late. Perhaps you should keep your door shut."

"They can open the fucking door, man." Gojyo gingerly stepped over the pins and set Eiji on his table, shoving the roses he was working on aside. Eiji had calmed down and started sucking his thumb again, still wiping tears away.

"But you'll hear them open the door."

"Can't fuckin' wait for goddamn preschool." Gojyo rolled his eyes and scrunched Eiji's pants up to check both legs.

"You haven't answered my question."

"Nothing bleeding." Gojyo examined the biggest bruise on Eiji's head. "Yeah, he's fine, just shaken up." He gave Eiji a little kiss next to the bruise. "You got any better ideas?"

"I suppose we'll just have to watch them a little more closely." Hakkai retrieved Yohei from the shop floor and placed him back in the pen. "Perhaps they need more to do."

"I'm gonna ask Sanzo to send Goku over when he can't come," Gojyo sighed, and put Eiji back in the playpen alongside him. "Remind me to measure the baby gate at the stairs, be sure that's tall enough- that's the last thing we need them crawling over."

"Very true," Hakkai remarked, looking Eiji's bumps and bruises over from behind the gate. "Poor things. Growing up is hard, isn't it?" He smiled at them, and Gojyo sighed and scratched the back of his head.

"You're tellin' me."

This gain of vertical motion was a significant bugbear for the parents. Gojyo had to watch them much more carefully, and Sanzo had to keep a grip on both of them as they tried to jump the playpen on every whim. It soon became easier to sit on the floor beside the outer face of the pen so he could reach over it easily to grab one while setting the other down. Despite all that, Sanzo discovered a small advantage late one mid-June night.

A storm had started near midnight, and Sanzo woke when the rain began to echo off the roof. Gojyo was still asleep beside him, but muttering, twitching, and swatting at something in his sleep. Sanzo slid off the bed, pushing the sheets behind him and walking to the window. He sighed to himself and opened the window, listening to the rain for a moment. He then took his cigarettes from his robe, which had been slung unceremoniously over the door, and leaned out the window to light up. Gojyo continued to twitch and mumble in his sleep. Sanzo could only just make out some of what he was saying:

"Off... off... get off..."

Sanzo inhaled slowly, and exhaled a smoke ring. Thunder crashed somewhere in the distance, and he heard a loud 'THUMP!' from the room next door. He quickly put his cigarette out in the puddle gathering on the sill and rushed to the door, but it opened as he reached it. Yohei had pushed the door open, tears in his eyes and a plush turtle's neck wrung in his hand.

"P-papa," he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks, but was interrupted when thunder struck again, and he jumped against Sanzo's leg. Sanzo crouched and wrapped his arms around him.

"Did the noise scare you?" He asked, and Yohei nodded. "Nothing to be scared of." He felt a pair of hands on his arm, and looked over Yohei's shoulder to see Eiji tugging at his sleeve. He pulled Eiji into the embrace, then lifted both of them against his shoulder. "Both of you, look." He walked to the still-ajar window, where rain had started to splatter the floor. Lightning flashed, and he braced them both. He could feel the pressure wave coming, making the hair on the back of his neck stand upright, and the boys both cringed. The thunder boomed, and both boys shrieked. "Hush." Sanzo rubbed his nose against each head in turn. "It's just a big noise, nothing to be afraid of."

"Buh why?" Eiji whimpered. Sanzo was quiet, trying to think of a response, but a weary voice answered from the bed:

"S'cause the thunder and lightning love each other." Gojyo sat up, running his fingers through his hair to push it back from his face. "You see, they're a daddy and son up in Heaven, but when it rains, Thunder comes down to Earth to play, and Lightning plays with him." He beckoned Sanzo closer, and he set the boys down at the end of the bed. "They kinda play hide-an'-seek. Lightning, he makes a bright light so Thunder can see 'im. An' Thunder shouts so Lightning can hear 'im. They'll do that 'til they find each other or the rain stops, and then they go home."

"Looooooud." Yohei clenched his fists and pounding them against the mattress. Gojyo shushed him and reached out to him.

"It's okay. Just a little noise. You can sleep with Daddy and Papa, and we'll keep you safe." Gojyo smiled sleepily and looked to Sanzo. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all." Sanzo pulled Eiji up the bed to tuck him in, as Gojyo tucked Yohei in. He got back into the bed himself, and sat up against the headboard as Gojyo settled the twins onto their pillows. "They must have scaled their way out of the crib, and opened the doors."

"Brilliant." Gojyo grinned a little wider. Lightning struck again outside, and Yohei squirmed a little closer to Gojyo. Thunder responded with a crackling grumble, and Eiji sniffled softly into the pillow.

"It's okay." Sanzo stroked Eiji's hair. "There's nothing to be afraid of, out there or in here." He looked over to Gojyo, who didn't seem to notice what he'd said.

"You were awake anyway, right?" Gojyo asked, turning soft eyes up from watching Yohei. "I'm having trouble sleeping tonight too. We can stay awake together, if you want."

The parents sat up the whole night, watching the rain fall past the windows, watching Sanzo's cigarettes slowly soak through, talking on and off about almost nothing at all. The boys slept silently beside them, ignoring the sounds of the thunder and lightning playing in the city streets and secure between their parents.

"They've never slept with us before, right?" Gojyo murmured as the rain started to clear up near dawn. "I was always scared to let 'em, just 'cause I was scared I'd roll over and crush 'em."

"Reasonable." Sanzo leaned back against the headboard. His head was starting to ache, but he still didn't feel like resting.

"But they got here on their own. All day, they try to get away, then at night, they come to us." Gojyo laughed, and rubbed Yohei's shoulder. "Whaddya think they'll do next?"

"Only time will tell." Sanzo lowered his gaze, as Gojyo slid down to lay his head on the pillow beside Yohei's.

"We oughta try and sleep a little. See you in an hour." He smiled at Sanzo over the dent in his pillow, and Sanzo leaned over the boys to kiss his cheek.

"In the morning, then." He could hear the rain dripping off the roof even now, and sighed to himself. All the ink had been washed out of his cigarette box, but he didn't care about it anymore. He reached beside him and entwined his fingers with Gojyo's hair. His scarlet locks had finally grown past his shoulders again, silky and shiny, and slick with the humidity in the room. Sanzo tangled his fingers close to his scalp, and ran his fingertips across the skin in curved patterns, and Gojyo smiled in his slumber. No, he didn't need his cigarettes. The sound of his family snoozing around him was comfort enough, and he was grateful to have it.

The summer rolled on, business continued in an upward trend, and the boys' progress was ever more apparent. Gojyo thought the most noticeable advance had been in their language development- after all, they were having conversations now:

"Dada?" Yohei initiated from the base of Gojyo's work stool. Gojyo glanced around from the flowers he was trimming.

"What's up, kiddo?"

"Dada, I made." He pointed at his diaper indicatively. Gojyo glanced out into the hallway- Hakkai was talking to a customer, and there was no sign of Sanzo returning from changing Eiji.

"Is it a one or a two?"

"One!" Yohei held up one finger, and Gojyo chuckled.

"Okay, give me a minute, don't move." He continued working, and Yohei shuffled his feet uncomfortably, before stiffening up for a moment.

"Okay, is two now."

"F-" Gojyo groaned, and reluctantly put the flowers down. "Then let's go."

They weren't very sophisticated conversations, but they were conversations nonetheless. He was also impressed at the new things they could do day by day- from simple things, such as holding crayons to draw or the more complex things, like following directions. That they were willing and able to follow directions made their daily tasks just that much easier:

Bath time was no exception, and Gojyo tested the limits of the boys' comprehension one night as he pulled them from the tub. "Eiji, rub the towel on your hair and go wait on your bed." He pointed out of the room after toweling Eiji's body off.

"Kay, Daddy." Eiji put the towel on his head and toddled out. Gojyo turned his attention to Yohei.

"Left foot first." He grinned, and picked up a fresh towel. Yohei poked his left foot out of the tub, and Gojyo dried it off. "Take my hand." He held his hand out, and pulled Yohei onto the floor, then dried the rest of him. "Okay, now do the same as I told Eiji." Yohei pushed the towel from his chest up over his head, then went to drain the tub. However, when he reached the boys' bedroom, they were instead jumping on their crib mattress and laughing, still undressed with their towels abandoned on the floor. Gojyo couldn't be mad. "After all," he laughed to himself as he rubbed his forehead. "I didn't tell them how long to wait."

After a few months without it and gauging all this progress for himself, Gojyo found the baby book buried under his floral design books. He quickly started reviewing the milestones listed in the index over breakfast one warm August morning.

"Walkin' and climbin', check!" He chirped as he watched the boys toddling in their playroom. Sanzo continued to sip his tea quietly. "Building hand skills, check!" He grinned, watching Yohei grasp a building block. "Heck, I know Eiji can hold a crayon, he loves coloring! And their block towers are like the best in the world!"

"And they're getting smarter, too," Sanzo added, as Eiji grabbed the block from Yohei.

"Mine!" Yohei tugged the block back away from him.

"No, mine!" Eiji stomped his feet. "Share!"

"See, they're learning new words." Sanzo took another sip of his tea, anticipating stepping in but not yet moving to do so.

"Rotten bastards." Gojyo flipped his way down the milestone list.

"They'd best not learn that one anytime soon," Sanzo rebuked with a sharp glare.

"Still, we got one we still gotta work on." He pointed at the last one on the list. "Toilet training."

"Is it that time already?" Sanzo looked at the twins, who had begun to tug on either side of the toy. "They still seem young."

"Well, according to the book, you're supposed to potty train during the summer closest to when they hit two."

"That's an odd benchmark."

"S'just 'cause it's easiest when it's hot." Gojyo chuckled, and flipped through the potty-training section, while ignoring the noise that sounded from the other room as both boys began to scream at each other. "I'll start up next week."

"If you're certain." Sanzo shrugged and stepped in to separate the feuding twins.

"Worth a try, right? 'Sides, sooner we start, sooner we can start screwing up and fixing it!" Gojyo grinned and tapped his heels against the floor. "Yup, me and Hakkai will get the potties and start next Monday!"

Monday arrived, and Gojyo had made his preparations. Sanzo hadn't stayed the previous night, citing that the temple had asked him to help with some cleaning, but Gojyo had made his decision and didn't want to delay. The August sun already sweltered outside, though it was still early, when Gojyo faced the boys in the playroom, who stood side by side with their thumbs in their mouths. Hakkai watched, amused, from the kitchen table, while pretending to read the newspaper. "Okay boys, let's talk." He paused, as Eiji switched thumbs. "Right, well, you can't talk much, but you can listen, so you better." He smirked, folding his arms like a stern general facing his troops. "We're going to spend the next few days learnin' how to be a man!"

"Man!" Yohei agreed.

"That's right! You two are gonna be men!" Gojyo grinned proudly- so they did know that word! "You know what men do, right?" He flexed his muscle and polished his bicep. "Men are strong! Men can lift heavy stuff and reach high shelves real easy!" He demonstrated by lifting their toy box over his head. "See, can you guys do that?" He set it down in front of them, and both boys gawked. Eiji tried to lift it up, but only managed to knock the lid off.

"N-no!" Eiji whined, and stubbornly shoved his thumb back into his mouth.

"Wow, stron', stron'!" Yohei clapped his hands excitedly.

"That's right! And men impress ladies. Right, Uncle Ha?" He looked over his shoulder, where Hakkai stifled a giggle into his palm.

"Oh, yes. Ladies are very impressed. And trust me, you'll want to impress ladies someday." His breath hitched on another giggle. "Much like your Daddy."

"Shut up," Gojyo groused through a smile. "Ladies love me. Now, the best part-" he crouched down, beckoning the boys conspiratorially closer, and whispered, "Men can pee almost anywhere." The boys looked confused. "Yeah, when you're a man, you can make a one anywhere you like as long as you can hide it from girls! As long as you got a river, or a tree, or a bush, or a hole, you don't have to pee in your diapers." He grinned. "But since you're still learnin' to be men, you gotta use the toilet."

"Toy..."

"Let?" Eiji and Yohei both cocked their heads.

"Yeah. Wanna start bein' a man and usin' the toilet?" Gojyo tempted, as though it were some deep, dark secret. Both boys squealed eagerly.

"I wanna do!" Yohei bounced up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Yeah, wanna let!" Eiji chimed in.

"Awright, then follow Daddy!" He marched them to the bathroom, kicking a rubber duck out of the way as he went. "See, ain't you ever been curious about that thing?" He pointed at the toilet.

"Boats go!" Eiji replied eagerly.

"Boats, huh?" Gojyo felt a sinking feeling, and chuckled weakly. "No, boats never go there ever again." He pointed at the bowl. "That's where pee and stuff goes. Then, we pull the handle and it goes away forever!" The boys looked confused again, brows knit, and Gojyo closed the bathroom door. "Watch Daddy, he'll demonstrate."

Hakkai strained his ears to listen as Gojyo talked them through the "demonstration." He heard the toilet flush, and the boys exploded with questions, mystified by the swirling water.

"Where's it go?" Yohei waved his hands at the water.

"How's it do 'at?" Eiji gasped and reached for the handle. "I wanna do!"

"No, I wanna do!" Yohei pushed Eiji away.

"Stop that! You both get a turn!" Gojyo picked Yohei up and set him aside. "If we're gonna do this, you might have some trouble reaching, so me and Uncle Ha got you a step." He pulled a little blue step stool from under the sink and planted it in front of the toilet. "Yohei, you're older, so you go first." Gojyo let Yohei step to the stool and held Eiji back, crouched behind him and wrapping his arms around his chest.

Yohei took the two little steps up, and stared, daunted, at the toilet. He stared down into the bowl, over to Gojyo, back to the bowl, then yanked the handle. He laughed and clapped as the water drained again, and Gojyo slapped his palm to his forehead. "Try again, like Daddy did it." He yanked down Yohei's pants and stepped back again.

Hakkai listened again for the sound of water trickling into water, and then the toilet gurgled as it flushed again. "Alright, attaboy!" Gojyo patted Yohei on the back and released Eiji. "Now, we wash hands like we do for dinner time, and-"

"I pee too!" Eiji abruptly announced, and Gojyo groaned.

"Eiji, you gotta save it for the toilet!"

Five minutes later, after cleaning Eiji up, Gojyo changed both boys into long tunics and no shorts. "Now you know how the toilet works, so Daddy's gonna run down the game plan." He crouched near the boys, pulling them in from their bedroom door. "We put potties in every room in the house, and down in your playpen too. See?" He gestured to where he'd planted a little blue and green training pot next to their changing table. "Follow me, I'll show you." He stood, and led an odd little parade through the house, first to the den- "See, here next to the toy box-" then through the kitchen and around Hakkai- "Here, by the sink-" then back down the hall to his own bedroom- "And by Daddy's bed. Just in case." He grinned and faced them again. "So, since you don't have any diapers on anymore, if you pee, it's gonna go all over your legs. And you guys don't like having pee on your legs. It's gonna suck." He smirked, and revealed the last point of his devious plot: "So, until you learn to go in the potty or on the toilet, you don't get pants. If you gotta pee, it goes in the potty or all over you."

"What two?" Eiji asked.

"Yeah, two, two!" Yohei chimed in, holding up two fingers.

"Oh yeah, number two," Gojyo recalled sheepishly. "Uh, that one's a little different." He rested his hand on his forehead. "Can't believe I skipped that part. Uh, for two, you sit on the seat. That's why it's shaped like that." He scratched the back of his head. "Daddy'll show you how to sit."

Sanzo opened the door to the house at almost the exact wrong moment, to hear, "See, this is how girls do it!" He tossed his sandals off and rushed past Hakkai without so much as a 'What the hell is going on here?' to the washroom, where Gojyo had planted Eiji on the toilet seat and was holding Yohei back. Gojyo grinned nervously back as Sanzo's nostrils flared and his brow unwrinkled.

"This is exactly what it looks like."

"Gotta two!" Yohei wormed his way out of Gojyo's grasp towards the toilet.

"Yohei, wait for Eiji to be done!" Gojyo groaned, holding him back.

"No, wanna go!" Yohei shoved Eiji off the seat. Eiji wailed and reached for Yohei's hair, but Sanzo snapped him up off the ground, and Gojyo set Yohei properly on the seat.

"You guys are both bein' brats." Gojyo's lips pursed. Sanzo snorted, watching with even, unamused eyes.

"You started without me?"

"Well, figure I'd get them started after their first change of the day. Didn't wanna just throw it at 'em, after all, but they're fresh and awake now."

"I suppose you did say you'd be doing it today," Sanzo muttered under his breath. "It must have slipped my mind." He shuffled his feet; his socks slid on the tile.

"Yeah, it's okay. You're pretty tough to hold on to anyway." Gojyo grinned toothily, and Sanzo rolled his eyes. "But yeah, every man's gotta learn to use the toilet sometimes. Otherwise, ladies will think he's gross. Right, Ei?" Gojyo smiled down at the toddler, who still sulked in Sanzo's arms.

"Done, Daddy!" Yohei jumped off the toilet, and Gojyo and Sanzo both checked. Sanzo wrinkled his nose up, but Gojyo grinned.

"Yup. Good job! High five!" He clapped his hand against Yohei's, then stood him up to wash both of their hands. "Let Eiji flush, he hasn't done it yet." Sanzo didn't question this directive and set Eiji down. Eiji bounded to the toilet and pulled the handle, and both twins erupted in squeals and laughter as the water swirled down the pipe again. Sanzo didn't quite realize he was smiling as he knelt down and mussed Eiji's hair.

"Nicely done." He scooped Eiji up again, and noticed something. "So, where are their pants?"

"Oh, that's the best part!" Gojyo beamed. He was still squirting soap onto his and Yohei's hands. "No pants until they're using the potty, every single time." Gojyo grinned, but Sanzo was less than amused.

"This sounds like a terrible idea."

"Nah, it was in the book. Hakkai looked at a few other books, too. We're supposed to stop cold turkey. See, these guys are smarter than we give 'em credit for." He dried his hands first, then Yohei's. "They don't wanna piss on themselves, so they'll learn to hold it until they get to a potty. There's like five around, so they can't fail. We'll just have to hang around with them until they get it down cold." He smirked impishly and set Yohei loose. "Plus, I just might hang out with no pants on just to fit it." Sanzo groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, but Eiji giggled and tugged his sleeve.

"Papa no pants too?" He asked with a wide, tooth-filled smile. Sanzo stared blankly at him, not quite sure what to say.

"You-" he finally responded, and tapped Eiji's nose- "Are getting to be far, far too much like your Daddy."

That night, when Sanzo put the boys down to bed, he decided to take his own first steps towards making them men. He set them in their crib as he gathered his thoughts, and they were still standing and facing him as they waited for their bedtime story.

"Before our story, I want to tell you a few things." He did not like starting conversations, but he knew they were incapable of doing so. He rested his hand on the edge of the crib. "You're growing up, you're getting bigger, and you'll soon find your way into trouble. Y-your Papa-" he stopped, biting his lip, then continued, "Your Papa wants you to stay safe, so I want you to know about something that will hurt you a lot." He reached into his sleeve and pulled out his pistol. "This is Papa's gun." Both boys leaned closer, but he kept it out of their grasp. "It... it goes everywhere with Papa. It's always close to me, because it makes me feel safe, but this is a weapon." He paused, and simplified, "It's something that's only good to hurt people."

"Why you got it?" Eiji squinted at Sanzo. Sanzo hadn't expected this, and lowered his eyes. He had decided to be honest, and he had to stick to that.

"Because it makes me feel safe. There was a time when I had to worry about being hurt, about people hurting me, so I used it to hurt them back and keep myself safe." He sighed, and met their eyes again. "Now, I worry that someone out there might try to hurt you, so I keep it with me just to be sure. But boys, please-" He put the gun down on the floor in front of him and took their hands through the bars. "Never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Touch." He released them and put the gun away. "The gun doesn't care who it hurts, and I never want it to hurt you. I love you both too much to even think of it." He sighed heavily, and stood up. "Any questions?"

"I see?" Yohei held his hands out. Sanzo bit his lip, but Gojyo chuckled from behind him, where he'd leaned into the doorway.

"Let them take a closer look. No touch, look only." Sanzo wasn't sure when Gojyo had come back in, and sighed deeply as he took out his gun again. "Safety's on, right?" Gojyo pushed himself off the doorjamb, shuffled closer, and slung himself over the end of the crib.

"Haven't taken it off for more than eighteen months," Sanzo muttered, and held the gun out into the crib, pointing the handle towards the boys and the shaft at himself. "Don't touch."

"He doesn't even let Daddy touch it." Gojyo grinned and tiptoed his fingers up Sanzo's shoulder. "He'll let me touch anything else-"

"Shh." Sanzo's eyes flashed up to Gojyo, as the boys continued to gawk over the shiny black metal. "That's enough." He put the gun back away. "Now, if you see it, what do you not do?"

"Don't touch." Eiji sounded bored, though still fixated on the gun and gripping the bars of the crib.

"Wanna story now." Yohei took hold of Sanzo's sleeve. "Please?"

Sanzo laughed quietly, in a tone that would have sounded sinister to anyone else. Gojyo grinned eagerly and took a storybook from the shelf. "You guys ain't man enough to take stuff seriously. You'll get it someday," he snickered aloud. Sanzo didn't mind, and Gojyo passed the book to him. Sanzo pulled the rocking chair around, and flipped the book open. Gojyo wrapped his arms around Sanzo's neck from behind.

It was this that reassured Sanzo that they weren't quite men yet. Men didn't need storybooks, nor to be tucked in, nor did they sleep in bed with their dads when it stormed, and that was good enough for now. However, the more he thought about it, the more he had to worry- what sort of men would they be? He hoped upon hope that they wouldn't be men like him.

End Notes: Cute times? Check. Funny times? Check. Little bit of serious times? Check. I actually feel good about this one!

Next time... October is coming, for the second time in the boys' lives, and you all know what that means.

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