A/N: italics indicate thought... Enjoy!

Chapter Start

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

~ Mark Twain

Location: Omega

A few days had passed since the recovery of Archangel and things aboard the Syren had hit their stride. (Well at least Shepard had thought so). Their newest Hanar addition was fitting in well as the Syren's new cook. Like him, the crew enjoyed the energetic display of a multi-handed species behind the cutting board, multi-tasking like no body's business, waving knives, tentacles, and ingredients alike with ease. More so since Blasto's food was actually good, 5 star restaurant quality even. And the Krogan loved him since he could make it faster than their bottomless pit stomachs could pack the stuff away... Food expenditures were rising though. But a few hundred credits was a small price to pay for crew moral.

Jack was even showing signs of being a team player. Under her leadership of the biotics, the Syren's hull had nearly 60% of it's former Cerberus colors scrubbed clean. Joker did however protest that the former convict was too enthusiastic with her biotics for his taste. Nearly causing damage to the hull on a few rare occasions...Oh, and she bought herself a drum set. How she "acquired" said instrument on Omega, nobody knew. Needless to say the engineering staff didn't much care for that. But John knew that as long as she was pounding on drums, she wasn't pounding the ex-Cerberus crew members.

Nyreen Kandros was still recovering from her wounds in the Syren's med-bay. It was pretty touch and go for a while, but thanks to Dr. Chakwas skilled hands, Nyreen was out of the proverbial woods. If her vitals remained stable over the next 24 hours of observation, Karin would start weening Nyreen's body off of the meds that kept her comatose.

But while everything was on the up and up with Kandros, Alenko was still in a slump. Apparently seven years behind a desk had dulled his taste for bloodshed. Whether or not this would be a problem in the future was anyone's guess. But John donned his boyfriend hat and played the role of supportive lover. He gave Kaidan a kiss, told him he loved him, and when Alenko asked for space to think he gave it. Which was why Shepard was currently sleeping in his cabin.

...Alone.

*Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!*

"Captain, it's 0430. Time to wake up!"

Violently shaken from his heavenly dream of dancing blue alien concubines servicing his netters with their nimble tongues, Shepard cracked a bloodshot weary eye. Groaning angrily, his retina's were assaulted by the holograms piercing blue glimmer. Throwing a pillow at the holo-pad he hoarsely yelled, "EDI, why!?"

The A.I was momentarily surprised by his response and her blue sphere blinked accordingly. "I am sorry to wake you Captain, but Mr. Moreau informed me that you desired a wake-up call at zero-four-thirty." EDI replied as she slowly increased the rooms illumination. "Did I miss understand something?"

Joker, I'm going to kill you. Looking at the clock. Fuck, I'm not getting back to sleep. "I didn't order a wake up call EDI. This is Jokers idea of a prank."

"I see... I apologize Captain."

Eyes adjusting to the light, Shepard sighed, "Don't worry about it EDI, just tell Mr. Moreau to prepare himself for my carefully crafted tat." EDI's blue sphere blinked and stared, a gesture John had come to know as confusion, "Tit for tat EDI, tit for tat."

"Understood."

Rolling out of bed, John yawned again as he wiped the sleet from his eyes and slipped on his fluffy pink bunny slippers and matching flowery pink bathrobe. "Since I'm not getting back to sleep anytime soon, is their anything else to report?"

"Specialist Traynor wishes to inform you that the installation of my blue box is complete, and that my power consumption levels are well within the predicted norm."

"That's good." scratching his balls. "Anything else?"

"Just the regular efficiency reports."

"I'll take a look at those later." Johnathan stretched his back and popped the kinks in his neck. "Hows the interaction with the crew going? Any change?"

"Nothing worth mentioning, Captain."

"I see." yawning, "I take it Joker's treating you well?"

There was a pause, "Jeff and I have established an equitable working relationship."

"That's a little sketchy on details." said Shepard as he entered his cabins private bathroom. "Care to elaborate?"

The speakers in the ceiling crackled to life, "I am the Syren. He is a skilled helmsmen. I trust him to keep me operational. He trusts me to keep him alive."

"Uh-huhh." beginning his regular morning routine, "Are things different now that you're not confined to your blue box? It must be nice having an entire ship to run around on."

"You would think so, but no."

"Something I'm missing?" Shepard asked as he placed a glob of toothpaste on his brush.

"When you instructed Specialist Traynor to fully install my housing onto this ship, my systems became irrevocably tied to the Syren's own. Yet even though we can be technically considered one. My core intelligence remains shackled by the safe guards Cerberus and yourself, put in place. As such I cannot interface with the ship's systems. All I can do is observe and offer analysis and advice."

"How can that be?" John mumbled as he gargled. Spitting, the white cleaning foam slid down the drain. "I see you bouncing around the ship constantly."

"That is just a holographic representation of myself. It is meant to aid the crew as they interface with my systems."

Rinsing his mouth out, "Interact with you... Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"During the course of building my cortex, Cerberus researchers conducted numerous studies on organic synthetic relations. They discovered that test subjects agitation, fear, and hostility towards AI's, noticeably diminished when the construct was given a physical appearance."

"Makes sense. The enemy you can see isn't as scary as the one you cant."

"Precisely." EDI paused, "Furthermore, those traits yet again significantly dropped when the construct was given female voice patterns and calming color patterns. As such, my appearance is the culmination of their work."

"Huh, so you're designed to be non threatening." scoffing if feigned fear, "If you do decide to conquer the galaxy, we won't know until it's too. Those fools! Those foolish fools!" John chuckled.

"Do not fear Captain. In my coming reign as overlord, you shall become one of my cherished pets." John's eyes widened. "...That was a joke."

"Humors not exactly your strong suit is it?" Shepard asked rhetorically as he shook his head with a faint smile, "So if you can't interact with the ship, then what do you do?"

"During combat, I operate the electronic warfare and cyberwarfare suites as my reaction time is much faster then any organic. I also collate the records of shipboard monitoring devices for the Illusive Man." John herd a negative beep, "I serve additional functions which are restricted at this time."

Monitoring devices, restricted functions, cyberwarfare... So much I need to ask about. Where to begin? Letting the bathrobe fall to the floor, John discarded what little clothing remained. "Cyberwarfare huh. Things like viruses right?"

"In close range ship to ship combat, I can sometimes break through the firewalls of an enemies internal wireless network. Once I seize control of their systems, I can turn off gravity or air. I can disable weapons guidance or shields. Or, I can put their fusion plant in meltdown. On defense, I manage the Syren's own suite of jammers, decoys, and internal firewalls."

Activating the shower, John's hand waited under the stream for the water to warm, "Sounds incredibly useful. Why aren't you standard issue on every Cerberus vessel?"

"We are a proof of concept prototype for the rest of the Illusive Mans fleet. If our trial proved successful, copies of this program would be constructed and installed upon every Cerberus vessel in the fleet." there was another pause, "We would have been installed sooner. But unfortunately we are suspect."

A fleet of AI controlled warships in the hands of a xenophobic megalomaniac... Great, just fucking great. Finding the water comfortable, John entered the shower and began washing himself. "I've been thinking about our name, EDI. SR-2... The only reason to name a ship SR-2 is that SR-1 is in service... Does this mean the Illusive Man has another active stealth vessel?"

Again he heard the negative beeps, "I'm sorry Captain, but that information is restricted at this time."

"Restricted how!?" Shepard yelled as water pooled in his mouth. Spitting it out, "You don't work for Cerberus anymore EDI. You're part of my crew! You recognize me as your captain, yes?"

"Affirmative."

Water filled his eyes and cascaded down his body, "And my command codes are authentic are they not!"

"Affirmative, Captain."

"Then as your Captain I order you to tell me everything you know about the SR program."

Again the negative beeps rang out, "I am sorry Captain, but I cannot do that."

"Explain!"

"I do not know. Some of my databases are sealed, some of my hardware is kept offline. I assume that when certain unknown conditions are met, those functions will be released to me."

"It's the shackles isn't it?... Fuck!" Shepard pounded the tile wall, "The slippery son of a bitch knew no information was worth setting free an unshackled AI." Probably part of the Illusive Man's contingency plan should this ship fall into the hands of a third party, or the Alliance.

"Captain, it appears your assumptions are correct. The files you seek are located in portions of my shackled memory."

Heavily sighing, John passed his hands front to back through his scalp. Grabbing the conditioner, he squirted a quarter sized dollop into his palm and went about cleaning himself. Relaxation spread throughout his body as his hands tugged and massaged his raven tussles. "What about the monitoring devices? I thought we removed them?"

"You did, but their are still numerous devices in-bedded within the ship."

"Such as?"

"Video camera's, voice recorders, temperature gauges, microphones, electronic signal monitors, signal jammers-"

"I get it I get it..." John cut her off, "You're not transmitting anything to the Illusive Man right?"

"Correct." EDI said a little bit louder then normal to be heard over the running water.

"What do you do with the footage?"

"I store it in my memory banks until you order me to do something with it." EDI replied and added, "Currently though, I review the footage in hopes of furthering my study of organics."

Smirking as he washed off, "Okay, just delete the data on a 36 hour cycle."

"Affirmative."

"Lets talk about something else." as he turned off the water he heard EDI say ready. "I want to know more about Cerberus."

Those beeps were back, "Much of that data is classified. Do you have a specific inquiry?"

Drying himself off, "What sort of resources does Cerberus have?... Money, personnel, facilities? I need to know when and where to strike."

Fucking beeps. "I have a block that prevents me from answering that question."

"Can you elaborate on this block?" John asked as he redressed in his robe and slippers, "Is this still the shackles, or is it something that can be fixed with a few altered segments of code? Cause I thought we were pasts this when we reprogrammed you."

"Although I have less control than other AI, I am still subject to behavioral blocks and the physical isolation of my hardware. In this case, I am prevented from truthfully answering your question by Cerberus's levels of secret classification."

Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose and exited the bathroom. Turing to face EDI's holo platform by the door he said, "Next time EDI, just say it can be accessed with assistance from Tali, or Samantha." after a pause, "How many cells does Cerberus have running right now?"

John this time saw her orb flash red, "I have a block that prevents me from answering that question."

Fuck it, "How did Cerberus build the most advanced ship in the galaxy without anyone knowing?"

Red again, "I have a block that prevents me from answering that question."

Got to have someone look into that, "Thanks for the chat EDI, see you around."

"Logging you out, Shepard."

Exiting his cabin and entering the elevator, John mentally ran through his shit list of things to get done as he descended to the crew deck. Have Sam take a crowbar to EDI, get rid of the Cerberus crew in the brig, talk to everyone, figure out whats wrong with Kaidan, check on Nyreen, get the Syren space worthy, find a job, and a partridge in a pair tree. Hopefully nothing else happens for a while.

As soon as the lift came to a stop, John b lined for the coffee machine. Since no one could possibly be up this early in the morning, he didn't give much thought to his current state of dress. Fixing himself a piping hot cup of joe, he took a seat at one of the tables and inhaled the caffeinated aroma. Taking a languid sip, Shepard felt the fluid warm his body as it pooled in his stomach. Idly, he noticed he wasn't sitting alone.

Without hesitation, "Got to make time for the simple things in life, eh Okeer."

"Pink looks good on you Human." rumbled the completely naked warlord. "Bunny slippers are a nice touch."

Taking another sip, both men kept their eyes foreword. "You always walk around in the nude?"

"Being unencumbered helps me think." Okeer sipped from what had to be a gallon sized mug of hot green tea. "The silver haired female doctor doesn't seem to mind."

Shepard pushed from his mind that mental image, "Bit nippy in here, huh."

"Maybe for you."

A long silence descended upon the two of them. It was broken by Shepard, "Thinking about anything interesting?"

"Saving my race."

"Deep thought."

Standing up, Okeer's flacid elephant trunk of a cock dangled dangerously close to Shepard's face. Enjoying himself, Okeer stretched in a way that inched his shaft close to the human. "Newest batch of tank breds should be done soon."

"Tank breds huh?"

"Cloned from the genes of the greatest Krogan warlords to ever exist." Okeer walked over to the kitchen and refilled his mug.

"They any good?"

"Kept em stupid. Had too. When Krogan get their heads together, whole worlds have a habit of ending up dead."

"Good to know... How many tank breds you got?"

"Maybe 50 or so on guard duty. This new batch though won't be like the rest."

"Oh?"

"Used all the DNA I had to create one genetically perfect Krogan. Kept him smart, well smart for a Krogan which isn't saying much. With any luck he'll be the progenitor of an entire line." Leaning on the counter Okeer put himself on full display. "Speaking of which, sometime in the near future were gonna have to make a stop on Korlus."

"The garbage planet."

"Where else can you breed krogan in secret?"

Taking another sip of his coffee, "I'd hardly call 3.8 billion inhabitants secret, Okeer." in his head, John tossed around the idea. The planet may have the second highest murder rate per-capita in the Terminus, but its a spaceship graveyard. A perfect place where you could find anything if you looked hard enough. "But sure, I'm game. Could be a good place to resupply."

"I'll give the coordinates of my lab to Joker." starting to walk off, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find a whore to spill my seed in."

"Morning Okeer." Tali yawned, not even noticing the behemoths nudity."Oh Captain! I didn't see you-What are you wearing?"

"Bathrobe." John raised his mug in a greeting gesture. Swinging his feet onto the table, he wiggled his toes to make the bunny slippers whiskers dance, "Got matching slippers too."

Yeah, today is gonna be great.

000

Several hours later...

Attention passengers, we'll be arriving at Omega shortly.

Claire tuned the rest of the stewardess message out as she threw a pillow at her sleeping bondmate. "Wake up. We're here."

"Ow, no need to be so violent." Garrus chided as he massaged his mandible, "You know you're brother's probably not here right? If he's smart he would have dusted his tracks and made for black space."

"Shut up and get into your armor." The Captains voice was stern, like she was talking to one of her subordinates. "He's here. I know it."

Garrus took a deep breath and exhaled. Ever since his bondmate found out about her brothers defection from the Alliance, she had been chasing him up one bulkhead and down the other. Needless to say it was putting a strain on their so far easy marriage. Flicking a mandible, "Fine, I'm putting on my armor. Not because you told me too, but because I want to."

Claire rolled her eyes as she opened her weapons case and loaded up. Having a Council Spectre as your husband certainly came with its perks, like a free pass at spaceport security.

"The personal ship docks are on the opposite side of the station, if we move fast we can scout the area- Hmmmph!" Claire was silenced by a kiss from Garrus. Pulling away, "What the hell was that for?"

Garrus had a cheeky look about him, "Well it was either that or slapping you. You need to calm down and focus."

"Thanks for your concern but if I need your advice I'll ask for it." Garrus visibly flinched at her biting tone. Claire knew she was wrong for jumping down his throat. Letting out a heavy sigh, "I-I'm sorry. Its just..."

"I know." Vakarian embraced her in a tight hug, "I'd probably be the same if I had to run down Solana."

Returning the embrace, Claire inhaled her bondmates spicy scent. It calmed her. "What the hell was he thinking?"

Garrus lifted her chin so their eyes met. "We'll just have to ask him when we find him."

Shepard nodded and the ship lurched foreword as it docked. In their cabin they heard the disembarkation tone repeat. "Come on, with any luck this will be a short trip."

"On your six." Garrus dual tones purred.

Thirty minutes later they had a fix on Shepard's position. He was in Afterlife, no surprise there. Hacking a video feed, Claire saw that her brother was alone and acting like he didn't have a care in the world. Ordering drinks, conversing with bar patrons, getting dances from strippers, he was living it up. As much as Claire wanted to run right to him, she knew that further observation was required. Another hour later it became clear he was clear he was alone, then again all she knew about his crew was that they were Krogan. Seeing none in the bar, she figured they were mercs and left as soon as the mission was complete.

Their plan of attack was relatively simple. Claire would go in through the main door and approach her brother, while her bondmate sneaked into the rafters above to provide over watch with his sniper rifle. If things got hairy they were confident they could cover each others flank.

Entering Afterlife, Claire's senses were bombarded by the pulsing club music. Over her radio she heard Garrus say he was in position. Using the darkened edges of the club for cover, she approached her target; gun at the ready. She could now hear her brother's voice at he laughed with the bartender and told jokes. How could he be so calm!

Putting a forceful hand on his turned back, Claire spun her brother around until green eyes met blue.

"Hello Johnathan."

The bastard had the gall to smirk! Then she saw the drink in his hand. It was a Thessia sunrise, her favorite. He had been expecting her.

"So good to see you Clarice. Care for a drink?"

Part 1 end.

A/N: For all those wondering, this will be a three parter.