Struggling to Breathe

Stiles tried to breathe, tried to listen to his dad's voice but all he could think about was the panic. Oh god I'm going to die. I can't breathe; this is going to kill me. I'm going crazy like my mom…mom…God is this what Scott feels like when he can't breathe...Scott. Scott. Stiles thought about some stupid joke Scott had butchered the other day, they decided he should leave the comedy to Stiles after that. And just like that his mind went away from the panic and he was able to follow his dad's breathing. "I'm okay." He said, finally catching his breath.

The sheriff wasn't ready to let his son go yet. "Stiles, you can't keep having these. It's not good for you, you aren't okay. And that's fine, it's just…I want you to be okay. Please, just go to the school counselor like I asked you to. I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to stuff like this. It's not just the panic attacks now. You've started sleepwalking. What happens if I don't stop you from walking out of the house one night?"

There was nothing but exhaustion and desperation in his dad's voice, which made Stiles' heart melt. He felt terrible for what he was putting his dad through. The poor man was grieving too, he didn't need a messed up kid on top of a dead wife. "Okay dad, I'll go."

With a sigh of relief, the sheriff let go of his son. "Okay, good, I'll call tomorrow morning and let them know." He stood up. "Let's eat dinner, and Stiles." He helped his son up. "Thank you."

Stiles smiled. "Don't thank me just yet. I heard you on the phone with your doctor today. Those lab results are pathetic dad. If I have to see a counselor, then you have to eat healthy." He sat down at the table. "We have to take care of each other, we promised mom."

The sheriff smiled and ran his hand through his son's hair before sitting down. "Alright kid. We'll take care of each other. But I'm not eating spinach."

The last day of summer before their first day of sixth grade, Sheriff Stilinski dropped his son off at the McCall's house. He tried not to be too worried. It will be the first night Stiles spends away from home since the nightmares, panic attacks, and sleepwalking had started. He had kept his son close to home ever since his wife died. He knew Melissa would take care of his son, she understood and already knew what to do, but he couldn't help but worry.

Stiles did his best to smile, tried not to worry his dad, but he's scared he will have a panic attack in front of his best friend. Or maybe he will start sleepwalking and his dad won't be there to wake him up. He told his dad it was okay. There was no way his dad could get him to school; he had too early of a shift, so this was the only option. But it scared him.

"Stiles! Hey, one more night of freedom! Do you want to play…"

"Please don't say Lacrosse." Stiles scrunched his face. "You can't start a sentence about freedom and end it with Lacrosse." He gave his friend's shoulder a bit of a shove.

Melissa smiled. "If you two play Lacrosse, you better go outside. There's no more playing that awful sport inside anymore." She laughed as she let the sheriff into the house and the boys ran past them.

"Don't worry Melissa, I won't let him hurt himself too bad." Stiles laughed and the two were gone.

Melissa couldn't help but frown a little bit and of course the sheriff caught it because over the course of many years with their son's being best friends they had become best friends themselves. "Hey, are you okay? Can you handle them?"

The nurse shook her head and smiled. "Yeah, it's just…he hasn't called me by my first name in a long time. I got used to him calling me Mom. I mean, I understand, it's just…" She shook her head again and tried to smile. "It's fine. He will be fine."

"I know. It's just going to take time. He's finally making jokes again and he agreed to talk to the school counselor. It's a step in the right direction." He sighed. "If he…"

Melissa put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I know how to handle a panic attack. And I'm a light sleeper. I'll hear him if he starts to sleepwalk. It will be okay." She gave him a reassuring smile and led him out the door.

"Hey mom, we're going to go down to the Lacrosse field to practice." Scott yelled over his shoulder as the boys left the house. "We'll be back for dinner, I promise!"

The two boys got onto their bikes and went to play their new favorite game (at least Scott's new favorite game). When they arrived at the field no one was there so they just took turns in goal, trying to make shots against each other. After half an hour a few more kids showed up, enough to play a small game. And, of course, because it's a bunch of pre-teen and teenage boys things got a little intense and because it's Lacrosse, it was rough. But it was a good workout and great practice.

They had been playing for almost an hour when Scott started to grab at his chest, unable to catch his breath. He had the feeling of drowning again. He put a hand to his pocket instinctively but his hand came back with a broken inhaler. And that's when the panic set in. Scott fell to his knees, trying to call out to his best friend but he couldn't focus on anything other than his breathing, or lack thereof. Each breath became more and more painful, his body feeling heavier each second. How could he have broken his inhaler? He's going to die…he can't breathe and now he's going to die…

"Scott? Scott! Hey, hold on buddy!" Stiles' panicked voice was the last thing Scott remembered hearing before blacking out.

Stiles felt his own chest tighten when he saw his friend fall to his knees on the other side of the field. He didn't care that he was about to make a goal, he dropped his Lacrosse stick, ball still inside, and ran to his friend kneeling on the ground. "Scott? Scott!" He fell to the ground by his friend reach into Scott's pocket hoping to find an inhaler but then saw the broken one on the ground. "Hey, hold on buddy!" Stiles ran to their bags, dropping to his own knees, trying not to cry, "Come on, come on…" But no extra inhaler fell from the bags as he dumped them. "Damn it!" He wanted to punch himself for leaving Scott's emergency extra inhaler in his backpack.

Stiles ran back to his friend, the other boys standing around, unsure of what to do and asking Stiles what was happening. "Scott? Scott can you hear me?" Panic started to bubble deep in Stiles' chest as he noticed Scott's lips were turning blue. His mind went blank. No, no, no, I can't lose my best friend. I can't let someone else die. I can't. Oh god, come on. You can't have a panic attack here. Breathe, come on, breathe…

"Stiles what do we do?" A boy with dark hair named Danny put a hand on Stiles' shoulder making Stiles' jump.

"Um, we need." Stiles tried to catch his own breath. Come on, focus! Scott needs you! Focus on Scott, not the panic! Focusing his thoughts on saving his best friend, Stiles took a deep breath. "One of you run to the pay phone, dial zero and tell the operator we need an ambulance. Tell them that Scott McCall is having an asthma attack on the Lacrosse field. We need to get to the hospital and we need them to call his mom. Go!" He tried to stay calm as he positioned himself behind his friend, a hand moving his Scott's chest. "Come on Scott, breath, you have to keep breathing…" That's when he noticed Scott wasn't breathing, his chest barely moving up or down.

Without thinking, without letting the panic come back, Stiles laid Scott down and began to deliver sweet breath to his best friend, just as his father and Melissa had shown the boys when they were taught CPR. And he breathed for his friend until the paramedics showed up, pushing him aside and taking Scott away.

In the ambulance, Stiles clung to his friend's hand. My mom didn't have anyone to hold her hand in the ambulance…where did that come from? The panic started to build again, Stiles' chest tightening again and his heart beginning to race. No stop it! Scott needs you! He gave a tight squeeze to his best friend's hand and the panic started to dim. And he stayed with his friend, even when the nurses tried to pull him away. Even when Melissa tried to, he wouldn't leave Scott's side.

Stiles sat by Melissa in the hospital room, waiting desperately for his friend to wake up now that he was breathing correctly. This room…it's just like Mom's. What if it is the same room? What if you have to watch your best friend die in the same room you watched your mom die in? The panic started all over again, this time much stronger. Stiles couldn't breathe. He's pale and broken lying in a hospital bed, just like her. And it's all your fault, just like her…

But luckily this is when Scott decided to open his eyes, allowing Stiles to breathe again. "Hey Scott!" Stiles jumped up and ran to the bed, trying to restrain himself from jumping onto the bed. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?" He had gone so long in silence his mouth didn't want to stop moving.

Scott smiled weakly. "I'm. Okay." He let out, still feeling weak with his throat a little raw. He took several deep breathes, relishing in the sweet oxygen.

"Good." Stiles smiled then hit his friend. "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Scott winced a little. "You deserve that Scott. I can't believe you put your inhaler in your pocket where it could get smashed." Melissa stood up, walking over to her son, trying not to cry. "You better thank Stiles, he saved your life."

"Again." Scott let a little huff out that was meant to be a laugh. "Thank. You. Stiles."

Stiles wasn't smiling anymore. Why is he thanking me? He's the one who kept me from panicking. I could have killed him… "Just don't do it again Scott or I won't let you play Lacrosse ever again." They all laughed a little, settling into a good mood now that everything was okay, everyone was okay.

The boys spent their last night of the summer in the hospital, breathing just fine…

[Hey, so there will be more about what Stiles' felt seeing Scott in the hospital bed next chapter but if there is anything else, ideas or suggestions, for future stories with the boys let me know. Thank you for the reviews, they make my day :) ]