The next day I woke up emotionally exhausted. I stayed in bed most of the day, only getting up to sneak into the kitchen for food or to use the bathroom. I wasn't really in the mood to see either my father or my brother, I was still so confused by myself. But I was mainly avoiding Jake. I was sure he'd heard everything by now, probably from Embry who made me seem like an even bigger bitch than I was. Not that I can blame him. But I was afraid that Jake would be mad at me and I wouldn't be able to defend myself because I didn't even know what I was thinking. I tried calling Riss like every half hour, and despite my fifty voice mails begging for her to call me back, she never did. Which downed my feelings even more. Around seven o'clock that night came the time that I had been dreading almost all day.
I was laying in my bed, cuddled up tightly in my blankets just watching a sappy movie that made me feel even worse about myself when there a light knock on my door. I didn't even have a chance to respond before my father opened the door. He flicked the lights on and I flinched at the sudden brightness, pulling the blankets up over my face.
"Dad!" I groaned, annoyed that he had interrupted my moping, and wouldn't let it continue on any further. In reality I knew that I was just being dramatic but I had never been in a situation like this before so I almost felt as if my actions were justified.
"It's time for dinner, kiddo. You need to get out of bed now," my father stated.
"I don't wanna," I whined like a little child. The covers were ripped off of me.
"You need to grow up, Teags. You can't hide away forever. Things aren't as bad as they seem, I promise," dad stated kindly. His eyes were soft and understanding, trying to coax me out of this funk. I sighed and sat up in bed.
"Does Jake hate me?" I question, fiddling with my fingers.
"Why would you think that?" He asked and I just shrugged in response. He tilted my head up so I had to look at him, "He most certainly doesn't hate you. I think he's just a little torn. Part of him is happy that you aren't going to continue a relationship with his best friend, but the other part is upset at how things ended. He knows you feel but he also knows how upset Embry is. Don't worry, everything will work out soon." I gave in and followed him out into the kitchen. The mood was tense and awkward, but not nearly as hate-filled as I had been imaging things in my head. Dad kept the conversation light and away from sensitive topics, aka Embry, and I was thankful for that. Maybe if we avoid the situation it would just go things would be okay after all. But I still had one more major obstacle to conquer before I could officially make the declaration, which was school tomorrow. La Push is a small reservation and there are no secrets here because word travels fast in this community.
I woke up in the worst mood ever. I didn't sleep well at all so I was abnormally cranky. I also had the overwhelming feeling that today was going to be absolute shit. Neither helped the emotional trauma and internal battle that I was currently experiencing. Yeah, today was going to be a good day. Not. And I had a work shift right after school so it was going to be a long day.
I dressed comfortably in leggings and an oversized sweater. I paired it with a comfortable pair of flat boots. I left my hair down and natural, just sliding a headband on to keep the hair out of my face. My eyes were still a little blood shot and puffy so I put on some eyeliner and mascara to try to distract from that. I doubt it work but hey, at least I can say I tried.
Jake and I walked to school in silence that morning. He gave me a few words of encouragement and a small smile before abandoning me. He quickened his pace and walked into the school ahead of me. I waited a few seconds debating on how mad dad would be if I ditched school for the day. Deciding that would be a childish move that wouldn't go over to well at home later that day, I took a deep breath and headed to my locker. Everyone was giving me strange looks and whispering to each other. Maybe I was just being paranoid but I couldn't help but feel they were talking about me. As I was getting my books out of my locker, my suspicions were confirmed when I caught my name in part of a conversation. I didn't catch much of it before I slammed my locker door shut and marched off to my class with my head down.
I got to class early and there were only a few other kids in the room already. They were all reading or finishing up homework that they hadn't done this weekend. I sat down at my normal desk and pulled all of my things out. By this time more kids were coming into class, but I still waited for Riss to join me. Finally she walked into class. I made eye contact and gave her a sad smile. My face completely dropped though when she didn't take her normal seat next to me, instead opting to take the empty seat next to the weird kid who wreaked of body odor in the first row. I felt tears well up in my eyes and fought to keep them from falling. I knew that everyone would be talking but things had to be really bad for her to not want to sit with me.
The day passed by super slowly and it was getting harder to ignore everyone because they were no longer whispering but having open conversations. Where was there common courtesy? If they were going to to talk behind my back they could at least do it a little more discretely. I barely paid attention in any of my classes and when lunch time rolled around I ate by myself in the library. I knew what the atmosphere was going to be like in the cafeteria, and quite frankly, I didn't think I would be able to handle being in a room with people who were my friends two days ago but now hate me. Hate me because of something that was taken the wrong way and completely blown out of proportion. When the final bell rang I let out a sigh of relief that the first day was over. I kept telling myself that it could only get better from here.
I made a final stop at my locker before wrapping my coat tightly around me and slinging my backpack onto my shoulder. I stuck my hands in my pockets and slowly made my way out of the school. I pulled my hood up as I entered out into the rain. It wasn't the usual misty rain that seemed to always be present here, but an actual soaking downpour. I picked up my pace and headed in the opposite direction as I headed to the diner. I hadn't even made it through the parking lot before a car was pulling next to me and the window rolling down. I had just assumed it was going to be some idiot who had finally worked up enough courage to say something to my face about what had happened. I wasn't expecting it to be Paul though, and I certainly wasn't expecting what he asked me.
"Teagan!" He shouted through the rolled down window to get my attention. I stopped walking and turned towards him, slightly shocked. "Get in the car, I'll give you a ride home."
"No it's alright, I can walk," I said shaking my head.
"Seriously, its pouring. You'll get sick. Please just let me drive you home," I have to admit I surprised by his offer. Maybe he heard what had happened and just feels guilt. Yeah right, I don't think he the capability to feel let alone feel bad for some girl he doesn't even know.
"I'm not even going home, I have to go to work. But thanks though," I said and turned to start walking.
"That's even better! I have to go there anyway, mom wants to talk to me about something. So since we're both headed to the same place there's no reason not to get in the car!" He had a smug smile on his face. I turned to look behind me and all of the kids in the parking lot were watching the exchange. Back by the school entrance I saw Jake, Embry, Quil, and Riss looking our way, waiting to see what I would do. I was afraid that by getting in the car with Paul. "Don't worry about those fuck faces and just get in the car! They don't know shit."
I cracked a small smile at his effort to cheer me up and caved. I slowly opened the door, placed my backpack on the floor before climbing in. And I do mean climbing in. I was so short and the truck was quite high off the ground so I had a bit of a struggle getting in by myself. I was proud of myself when I was finally able to haul myself up and settle comfortably in the seat. Wondering why Paul hadn't started driving yet I looked up at him to see an amused expression on his face.
"What?" I asked quietly, suddenly self conscious. I was alone in a car with the guy I had a strange draw to and he was just staring at me. I wasn't used to having attention on me, let alone male attention, so I was a little worried that something was wrong. Specifically with me.
"Nothing," He shook his head and put the car into drive. "You're just really adorable, you know?"
"Oh, uhm, thanks," I said blushing. I was not prepared for that at all and I think my heart may have actually skipped a beat at the compliment. He chuckled a little, obviously seeing how flustered I was. It was only another minute before we were pulling into the diner parking lot, Paul pulling into a spot right by the door so we wouldn't have to walk far. By the time I had my seatbelt unbuckled, and turned to open the door, Paul was already there opening the door from outside the truck. He held his hand out for me, and helped me down from the truck. I thanked him as we hurried into the front door.M
"Anything for you babe," I blushed at the nickname as well as the idea of him actually doing things for me. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but that didn't seem like something Paul did. For his family yes, but not just anyone. A small bubble of hope brewed in me that we could at least be friends. While it wasn't exactly what I wanted from him, it was still better than nothing. I headed into the kitchen, Paul trailing behind me after he held the door open. I greeted Sue and Mel before heading through to the employee bathroom to change into my uniform. When I came back out a few minutes later, Sue was the only still in the kitchen besides the cook staff.
"Hey Sue, can I put my stuff in your office please?" I asked. My backpack was too small to fit in the small employee lockers and I didn't want to just leave it out somewhere. She nodded and told me to go ahead, so i made my way down the hallway to the offices. As I passed by I noticed that Mel's door was closed and figured she was in there talking with her son since that was the reason he was going there. I headed into Sue's office and placed my bag down in the corner out of the way. As I turned to leave I could hear Mel and Paul talking from next door. I know it's rude to eavesdrop but I just couldn't help myself. I moved closer to the wall in hopes that I would be able to hear better.
"I don't know what you want me to do mom! I'm trying!" That was Paul.
"You know exactly what I want because I know that you want it too! Even more than me!" To say I was confused would be an understatement.
"I can't just ask her out though, she'll say no!"
"You don't know that!
"She likes you, I know she does! And you like her so just make a move already!" Mel sounded actually frustrated. My heart deflated a little though thinking about the girl he liked. I didn't want to hear anymore, afraid I would find out who the girl is so I made my way out to get to work. I bet who ever it was though was beautiful. Not adorable. I knew I wasn't Paul's type but I still had hoped that maybe just maybe I could sneak my way in to his heart.