Chapter Nine: This Weak and Longing Heart
""I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love." –Anne Rice
Elena laid in the large king sized bed and stared up at the ceiling. She had been lying in bed for two hours and found she was still wide awake. The house had become dangerously quiet since Damon had left the bedroom and now she was left alone under the soft comfort of her sheets. She closed her eyes as she listened as rain began to drop quietly on the rooftop. She hoped that maybe the slow calming sound would help her fall asleep, but knowing that Damon was down the hall from her made that reality almost impossible.
Elena finally felt herself begin to drift off to sleep when she heard a large crack rip through the quiet house. She shot up in bed immediately, gasping for air. She looked out the window and noticed the rain was picking up.
"Perfect." She said as she wrapped the covers around her. She looked at the door and then back out the window, in seconds she was on her feet.
Elena tip toed down the long narrow hallway in her shorts and tank top. She tried not to make any noise as her bare feet moved slowly over the polished wood. She looked into the rooms as she made her way down the hall, but they were all empty. Finally, as she reached the end of the hall she saw a light coming from underneath the last door. She knocked lightly, but didn't hear anything. She knew she needed to turn around because she didn't need to wake Damon up at three in the morning, but she hoped that if there was a light on then it was alright. Slowly, she turned the knob and opened the large wooden door.
As Elena opened the door she looked in at what she imagined was Damon's bedroom. A large king sized bed with lush onyx linens sat in the corner across from her and beautiful leather furniture scattered across the remainder of the room. She looked toward where the light was coming from and saw Damon's bare back as he hunched over his large oak desk.
Elena slowly tip toed further into the room as she prayed she wasn't disturbing something important. Damon sat with his hand at his temple as he rustled through the stacks of papers on his desk and made small notes along the clean white pages. With every move he made, Elena watched the muscles that corded tightly under his skin flex and rotate. She could have watched him work forever, but suddenly as she came closer she realized he had set his papers down.
"Still afraid of thunderstorms, Elena?" Damon's voice rang out as he slowly turned around in his chair. Elena smiled as she looked at him and then looked down at the floor.
"No, just couldn't sleep." She said quickly. Damon nodded and leaned back against his desk. Elena bit her lip as she tried not to look at him.
"So, the fact that about ten minutes ago, that large crash ripped through the house, that has nothing to do with this visit? I seem to remember a smaller Elena running into my room every night when there was even a drop of rain." He said with a smile. Elena smiled.
"Well, I'm all grown up now Damon." She said as she folded her arms in front of her. Damon looked over her body.
"Yes you are." He said softly. Elena cleared her throat and then pointed over to his desk as she started moving closer to him.
"Whatcha doing over there?" She asked as she approached him. Damon smiled as he looked down at his stacks of papers and then ran his fingers through his dark hair.
"I am trying to finish my opening statements for a trial that I have starting next week." He said and Elena could see the stress building in his eyes.
"How bad is this guy?" She asked with a smile as she leaned against the side of his desk. Damon shifted his chair forward and leaned back as he looked at her.
"He's very bad Elena." He said slowly. Elena felt her body heat up as the words rolled off of Damon's tongue. She looked back to the papers.
"And you are doing all this so you can just let him back out there? You want him doing all those bad things to other people?" She asked as she motioned over his work. Damon moved his chair closer so his knees touched Elena's. He cocked his head to the side and rested his head on his hand as he looked up at her.
"That's my job Elena, and who knows, maybe he's innocent." He said with a small smirk.
"Do you think he's innocent?" She asked as she lifted herself up to sit on the edge of his desk. Damon shook his head.
"No, I think he's guilty. But, we're all guilty of something." He said as his eyes raked over her body. Elena felt heat rush over her again and she tried to stay collected.
"What are you guilty of Damon?" She asked softly, her voice had dropped a little lower, but she still avoided his eyes. Damon ran his fingers over his mouth slowly as he watched her.
"You of all people, Elena, know exactly what I'm guilty of." He said as he continued to stare at her. Elena let out a ragged breath as she felt her hands become slick with sweat.
"Well I, I am not guilty of anything." She said with a smile as she scooted back on the desk. She figured if she would make light of the conversation, maybe this time, it wouldn't go down the road it had on the phone. This time she needed to stop it more than ever because Damon wasn't just a voice in her ears, he was a man sitting in front of her.
"Actually Elena, you are far guiltier than anyone I've ever met." He said as he stood slowly and moved toward her until he was standing in between her legs. Elena swallowed heavily and looked up at him.
"What exactly am I guilty of, Damon?" She asked quietly. Damon smiled and moved his hand down to the top of her knee. His slid his hand slowly up her thigh and to her hip. Elena breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. Then she felt Damon's hand slip off her thigh and onto the desk. She opened her eyes and stared at him. He smiled sarcastically back at her.
"Right now you are guilty of sitting on about five million dollars." He said as Elena felt him tug at a file folder underneath her. Elena laughed nervously.
"Really? Wow, I've never been on five million before! It feels good, I feel powerful." She joked as she bounced up and down on the desk. Damon smiled and licked his lips as he moved closer to her.
"I can give you way more power than that sweetheart." He said huskily as his breath moved over her face. Elena's heart began to pound faster in her chest.
"You've got five million Mr. Salvatore?" She asked trying to lead him away from where he was headed. Damon smiled and cocked his head to the side.
"It bothers you that I have money now, doesn't it?" He asked quietly. Elena looked at him, but shook her head.
"No, what do you think I'm jealous?" She asked suddenly getting upset. Damon shook his head.
"No, I don't think you're jealous. I think, you think it's changed me and that bothers you." He said with his smile still intact. Elena looked at him.
"Hasn't it?" She asked in a more serious tone. Damon shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know, I mean I'm sure I've changed a little since I lived in Mystic Falls, but I am still the same guy that took you to your first concert." He said as he continued to study her face. Elena smiled.
"I miss that guy." She said softly as she stared up into his cobalt blue eyes. Damon reached out and touched her face softly.
"And he's still here Elena. You miss that guy because he was the one that protected you and held you when you were scared, but right now you are not in my bedroom because of that guy." He said as he stared at her mouth. Elena tried to look away but Damon's hand held her face in place.
"What are you talking about? I couldn't sleep." She said as she dropped her eyes. Damon smiled and moved even closer to her.
"Elena you want so desperately to make yourself believe that you came here because you wanted the person back in your life that used to beat up your boyfriends and help you tie your shoes, but that is not why you are here." He said softly as he ran his fingers over her jaw. Elena swallowed.
"Why am I here then?" She asked in a struggled voice. Damon smiled.
"You are here because of the man you talked to on the phone the other night. The man that scared you because he made you feel something that you didn't think was possible. You are here because at dinner it got you hot when you found out that I was powerful and people respected me. You are here because when I touch you it feels too good for you to keep ignoring it." He said, his voice was low and dripping with lust. Elena shook her head.
"You certainly think a lot of yourself Damon. New York must be the breeding ground for arrogance." She said sharply as she tried to avoid his eyes. Damon smiled as he watched her struggle with herself.
"I love it when you try to piss me off just so I'll leave you alone." He said as he continued to trace her features with his fingertips.
"Well, you just have it all figured out, don't you Damon?" She asked protectively. Damon turned his head and watched her face.
"Why do you think I'm still awake, Elena?" He asked softly. Elena shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the stack of papers.
"You have work to do?" She asked stating what she believed to be obvious. Damon smiled.
"Tell me why you really think I'm still awake, you don't have to be shy with me. We are past shy." He said sarcastically. Elena let out a breath and looked up at his eyes.
"Because you knew I would come down here. You knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep and that I would use that as an excuse to come to your room." She said softly. Damon nodded.
"And…" He said. Elena ran her tongue over her lips and bit her bottom lip into her mouth.
"And because ever since I got off that plane it's been just a game until one of us broke down. We both knew why I came here. We were just lying to ourselves so we didn't have to actually say it." She said as she felt emotion building inside of her. Damon ran his hand down her neck and put his hand over her heart.
"Why did you come here?" He asked in a low voice. Elena breathed in and Damon felt her heart beat move even faster.
"Because I'm tired of wanting you. I'm tired of always wanting you. I want you so bad that it hurts when I think about you. I want you so bad that you can make my body do things from hundreds of miles away that a man in my own bed can't do on top of me. I want you in a way that I would crawl on my hands and knees to get to you and if I am going to crawl I want to finally get to you. I came here because I want to finally have you, even if it's just for one night." She said as she shook under Damon's hands. Damon stared into her chocolate brown eyes and suddenly the smile was gone from his face. Elena reached up and touched the side of Damon's face.
"I'm not a little girl anymore Damon. Let me show you how much I've grown up." She said as she leaned closer to his face. Damon swallowed thickly and brushed his lips against hers just slightly. Elena smiled against his mouth.
"You think you are such a hot shot now Damon? You have been waiting all night to get me in here so that you could have me falling at your feet. Did you want me to come in here and beg for it?" She purred against his mouth. Elena hadn't been lying, she had grown up and she was definitely showing it. Damon swallowed and leaned closer to her and gently bit her bottom lip.
"You could beg a little." He said with a smile. Elena reached out and slipped her fingers into the waistband of his black pants and pulled him closer to her. She looked up at him as she ran her hand up the intricate muscles of his stomach and chest.
"Give me something to beg for." She said softly.
The delicate restraint that Damon had been holding onto broke in the very moment the last words left Elena's lips. In an instant his lips crushed down on hers and pushed her further back on the desk. His arms wrapped around her body tightly and ripped through the straps of her tank top. Elena gasped as she heard the material rip, but simply shrugged it off and returned to Damon's mouth.
Elena ran her hands over Damon's chest and stomach and then moved closer to him and let her mouth follow the trail that her fingertips had started. Damon moaned under her touch as she left fiery wet lines all over his skin.
"God you taste good." Elena moaned as her teeth ran over Damon's skin. He groaned and tangled his fingers through her hair as she continued to taste every inch of flesh she could find. Elena slid off the desk and stood on her tip toes as she kissed over Damon's neck, shoulders and bicep. She bit into his skin once again just at his collarbone and moaned as she felt his hand tighten in her hair.
"Mmmm…." Damon groaned as her lips began to set his body on fire. Elena continued to work her mouth over Damon's skin and soon she sank down his body and slipped her hand inside his dress pants.
"Mmm…God fantasies don't do you justice Damon." She said as she ran her fingertips over his hard shaft. Damon groaned as he leaned back on the desk. Elena pulled his pants down off his hips and slowly ran her tongue over his hard length.
"Fuck, Elena." He said as his fingers pulled her hair gently.
"Mmmm…God you taste so good." She said and then slid her mouth over him.
Damon felt as if someone had moved the floor from under him. He looked down and the image of Elena on her knees in front of him was too much for him to handle. Her small hands wrapped around him as her wet mouth tortured him in ways he never thought possible. Her eyes stared up at him as she moaned. Damon felt sweat begin to slide down his chest as he clenched Elena's hair in his hand and pulled her head back quickly.
"Get on the desk." He said roughly. Elena pouted at his feet.
"I was just getting started." She said sweetly.
"Get on the desk, or I will put you on the desk." He said as he stared down at her with dark eyes. Elena felt her body heat and her blood rush through her veins. She sat at his feet and moved her hands slowly up his legs before he quickly caught her wrists and pulled her up to look at him. She stared into his eyes and breathed heavily.
"Do you like it when I yell at you, Elena?" He asked thickly. Elena felt her blood pump hard through her body.
"Yes." She said softly. Damon's hard expression slightly softened as a smile twisted across his lips. He leaned down and let his lips brush against Elena's gently as he spoke.
"Well didn't someone grow up to be a naughty girl?" He said quietly against her skin and then slid her hands down to her hips and lifted her up and sat her on his desk.
Elena felt the cool wood under her skin as Damon slowly pulled off her shorts. She sat on his desk in only her panties and waited for whatever was coming next.
"Lay back sweetheart." He said as he came to his knees as the edge of the oak frame. Elena stared at him for a moment.
"I want to look at you." She said softly. Damon felt his need grow stronger as his emotions pounded through him. He didn't understand how he could want someone so badly in so many different ways all at the same time. Slowly he slid his hand from her lower stomach up over her chest and up to her lips. Elena licked his fingers and took one into her mouth.
"Mmm…you are pure poison Elena." He said and then sunk to his knees in front of his desk. He slowly slid his hands up her thighs and pulled her legs apart. Elena heard the material of her panties rip and then suddenly they were gone. Damon pulled one of her legs up onto his shoulder and groaned as he looked at her body. Elena whimpered as she watched him.
"Damon, maybe we should…" She stopped. Damon looked at her with a confused look on his face. Elena smiled.
"I'm still on your five million dollars." She said softly. Damon looked at her and smiled.
"Money never tasted so good." He said and moved quickly down and Elena felt her world shatter.
Elena knew that most men were good at one thing in particular when it came to sex. Every man seemed to have a specialty that they had perfected over the years. In that moment, however, Elena felt sorry for all the rest of the men in the world since somehow Damon had perfected it all. Damon's tongue moved painfully slow over Elena trembling core. He moved over her as if he were memorizing how she tasted and with every move of his tongue he was taking her in more and more.
"Damon…" She moaned as she tangled her fingers in his dark hair. Quickly, Damon wrapped his arms around her hips and pulled her closer to him. Elena gasped.
"Fuck…Damon." She moaned. She felt her heart beat pound faster as his tongue worked over her more intensely. She ripped at his hair and dug her free hand into his shoulder.
"Slow down…I….Oh God." She moaned as she felt her muscles tighten quickly. Damon groaned and she felt his hand start to move over her as well. He slipped his fingers over her clit and then pushed two fingers deep inside her.
"Mmm…" Elena moaned as she dug her nails deeper into Damon's flesh. The sensation of his tongue and his hands on her made her feel as if she was going to lose her mind. He started to move faster and Elena looked down and felt as if she was falling. His eyes were on fire as he touched her and she couldn't look away. His mouth was too wet, his touch was too consuming, and everything was too much. It wasn't supposed to feel this good, nothing should feel that good.
"Damon, I'm going to…." Elena's voice trailed off as she arched back onto the desk. Damon pulled his hands from her and slipped them under her hips. He lifted her off of the desk, pulled her closer to him and continued to taste her until he felt all her muscles contract around him.
"Come on baby, tell me you want more." He said as he pulled his lips from her the moment before she lost it.
"Damon, fuck, don't stop." She screamed. Damon smiled.
"Ask me." He said softly.
"Don't stop." She pleaded. Damon moved his mouth closer.
"Now asked me nicely." He said as he bit at her thigh. Elena groaned.
"Please Damon, please." She begged. Damon smiled and then his mouth consumed her again, Elena fell apart.
No words escaped Elena's mouth for the next few moments. Her moans echoed through the bedroom, but no coherent words could be found. Her back arched back on the desk and her body trembled in Damon's hands. The world exploded around her and inside of her and shook her entire being. She looked down at Damon as he kissed her skin gently and slowly began moving back up her body. He was too beautiful to look at, but God help her she couldn't look away.
"Come here." Damon said as he stood and wrapped Elena's legs around him. He lifted her from the desk as Elena began kissing and licking his neck and shoulders feverishly.
"Tell me what you want Damon. Tell me and I will do it." She begged as he moved them closer to the bed. Damon smiled and laid her back on his soft sheets.
"Forgive me." He said softly as he looked down at her. Elena looked up at him confused as she tried to catch her breath.
"For what?" She asked. Damon sank down and crawled over her body. He pressed her into the comfort of his bed and touched her face.
"For leaving you." He said softly. Elena smiled and lifted her head and touched her lips to his.
"I forgive you Damon." She said softly. Damon smiled as he looked at her.
"Forgive me for one more thing." He said as he pushed himself up higher on his hands on top of her.
"For what?" She asked. Damon smiled.
"For ruining you for anyone else." He said with a smile and then quickly shifted his weight and pushed himself inside of her.
"Oh fuck." Elena moaned.
The world seemed to stop spinning the moment Damon was inside of her. Suddenly, this wasn't just about sex and it also wasn't just about what she felt inside. It was about everything and nothing all at the same time. Damon moved slowly inside of her at first as he tangled his hands in hers and pulled himself deeper and deeper inside of her. He groaned as she tightened around him every time he hit the spot that drove her crazy. Their bodies were tangled in each other's to the point where it was hard to tell where one stopped and the other began. No touch was enough, close wasn't close enough and every kiss just made them crave another.
"Please don't stop Damon." Elena begged as she dug her fingers into his skin. Damon leaned down and crushed his lips against her before he untangled one of his hands from hers and reached up and grabbed the top of his head board. He rotated his hips and pulled himself deeper into her as he quickened his pace. Elena groaned and ran her nails down his body.
"Mmm….More Damon." She begged. Damon moved faster and pushed deeper with every thrust. Elena stared up at him and watched as his eyes began to roll back as he came closer to his edge.
"Damon look at me." She begged. He opened his eyes and tried to steady his breathing as he continued to grind against her body.
"Tell me that it feels good, Damon." She purred as she reached up and ran her nails down his neck. Damon groaned and she heard the head board hit the wall with a thud.
"Fuck, Elena, it feels incredible." He moaned as he move faster.
"God I wanna watch you come." Elena said as she ran he hands down his body. Damon groaned again and bit down on his lip. He hit her hips harder and Elena knew he was going to lose it.
"Fuck Elena, God damnit you feel good." He breathed heavily as he hit the headboard harder against the wall behind him. Elena felt herself become slicker with need and her muscles began to tighten around him once again.
"God, Damon." She moaned as she pulled him down to her.
Elena licked over his lips and Damon lost his grip on reality. He grinded his hips against hers and dug his fingers into her skin as he came hard inside of her. Elena moaned she quickly followed him over the edge.
"Damon!" She screamed as she wrapped herself around him and clung to him as she rode out the violent orgasm that shot through her body roughly.
Damon finally began to slow his movements and he looked down at Elena who shook gently underneath him.
"That was…." Elena started as Damon lowered himself and moved his lips over hers.
"Just the beginning." Damon said slowly and then claimed her mouth again before she had the chance to contest.
Please read and review! My dirty mind has more to come, let me know what you think! Thanks! Review Review XOXOXOXO-Nikki