Disclaimer: I don't own. I just write.
Puck hated Monday mornings. Not that he liked mornings as a general rule, but Mondays always found a way to see him more pissed than usual. And this particular Monday, Puck woke up ready to fight. He knew that it would be a bloodbath for Rachel today, and he was going to do everything he could to make it easier for her. Sure enough, he hadn't even made it inside before he heard someone mention her.
"I heard that she just bent over in front of him at the party and let him have at it. Like, what a sl…"
"Wasn't that you, little girl. Bending over and all with Timmons. He'll be pissed to hear you forgot already." Puck said. The girl's friend's jaws hit the ground, and Puck smiled. Even if it wasn't true, it was enough to distract her friends for a moment.
Gym class was worse, because every guy in there had been at the party. All Puck could do here was slap guys upside the head when the coaches attention was elsewhere, and hit them with the basketball when it wasn't. He knew after class he would get it in the locker room, but he could not hear them talk about her that way. Sure enough, when the coach told them to head in, Puck felt a bunch of elbows and fists as he went back in to change. But no one outright challenged him to a fight, and he decided that stray elbows weren't all that bad. He could take it.
Puck even went to Math class, just to make sure he didn't miss any jackass who wanted to spread rumors. But no one bothered him, and by fifth period, he didn't hear anyone yelling nasty words. So maybe his effort had been worth it, if they stopped. He met up with Finn before Glee, and Finn was grinning that goofy grin he had.
"I found Rachel the perfect song. And Mr. Shue agreed. God, she's gonna love this!" Finn held up the sheet music, and Puck nodded. It was exactly what Rachel needed to say, and Puck knew she would blow it out of the water. He went in and took a seat in the back row. He wanted to be able to see Santana's face when Rachel belted this out and there was no way he wanted to sit close to the bitch. He might punch her, which shocked him as a man. He shook his head and decided that he had been in fight mode too long, always looking for the next dumbass to punch. He needed to be there for Rachel, and that meant listening. So when Finn went up and started singing, and Rachel joined in, Puck leaned up on the edge of his seat. Sure enough, Santana couldn't make eye contact with her, and Rachel looked so accomplished at the end of the song. Puck jumped out of his seat and started clapping before anyone else, so happy that she hadn't let this ruin her.
Then he sat back down when Kurt and Mercedes turned to him, both of them standing and clapping as well. He had forgotten the real gossip-lovers were seated in this room.
Puck tuned out Mr. Shue, but that was nothing new. Usually he just daydreamed, but today he couldn't help but notice the way the fluorescent lighting shined on Rachel's hair, and how cute her little dress was today. Even seated behind her, he knew that she would be smiling and proud of herself for getting that out. Man, he needed to get this girl out of his head.
The bell rang, and he rushed down the stairs, hoping to seem aloof to Kurt and Mercedes, so that the gossip mill wouldn't get restarted. That was the very last thing he needed right now. But he heard a tiny voice as he reached the door, and he couldn't help but turn around.
"Noah?" She had her hands grasped in front of her, almost trying to make herself look tinier.
"Yeah?" was all he could think of for a response.
"Could we… talk? Maybe?" Puck nodded and moved his arm around to point out the empty choir room. He was sure she wanted privacy for this conversation. Sure enough, she nodded and continued, "I was wondering, if you had anything you wanted to admit, before the court proceedings begin."
"Court? What?" Once again, this little girl had completely surprised him. What was she talking about?
"I went to the hospital after you dropped me off, and I just… usually if you admit to it, the consequences aren't as harsh. At least that's what I've heard."
"Consequences?" Maybe she'd found out about him egging her house. Or she was going to press charges for him always throwing slushies on her. That was stupid, because he really hadn't done it in like, three weeks. It hit him that she might have found out about the cupcakes he'd made for the bake sale. He was going to be in so much trouble if she had…
"Sexual molestation." Puck felt the words knock him backwards and he only just managed to sit down on the bench. What was she… she couldn't be… this was just a dream. Yeah. That's it, like the other one he'd had with her in it. Yeah. He looked around the room, trying to find the thing out of place so that he knew that this was a dream. Because this could not be really happening. Even if it was a dream, he had to respond to this crazy dream chick.
"You think I… did that to you?"
"What else should I think? I don't remember what happened, but I woke up without clothes on in your bed. I hate to say this, Noah, but your reputation precedes you on these matters, and…" His reputation? No. No way. Puck saw red, and only just managed to keep himself sitting on the bench, and not fly across the room and punch something.
"Don't." He said, and he heard a voice that didn't even sound like his. "What you think happened… is the most stupid thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. And that is saying a lot." He hadn't meant to be that mean, but truly she was lucky he was being this nice right now. "That night, I brought you back to my house so that… so that if you got sick, you wouldn't be alone. That's it. I kissed you, yeah; I'm not going to lie to you, Rachel. But you fell asleep. YOU FELL ASLEEP. And I laid down next to you because it was my fucking bed. But that's it."
"How do I know you're not lying to me? That this isn't a ruse to get yourself out of trouble?" This could not be happening. He should have just taken her home, and gone back to the party. Because this? Puck could not handle this. He barked out a laugh, before answering her questions with the only answers he had.
"You talk in your sleep." He heard her gasp, and he continued, "And you snore. Softly, sweetly, but a snore all the same." How he could call anything she did right now sweet, he had no clue. Puck felt sick to his stomach, and the red behind his eyes had yet to go away. Why had he protected this girl all day?
"But… you… why were my clothes on the floor by the bed, then, if all we did is kiss?" He knew immediately that this he could not tell her the truth about. Because if he did, even though she had been the one to push the subject, and he had made sure she agreed to it, if he told her this part of the truth then his life would be over. He really would be stuck in Lima.
"I dunno, you got too hot during the night? I don't pretend to understand why you do things. Like just assume that I did this, instead of asking me."
"I'm asking you now." She said. "Tell me the truth of what happened, and if it makes sense, then… then we'll see."
"The truth? You fell off the table, I caught you, took you outside." Since she claimed to have forgotten the night, he figured he would remind her about him helping her out.
"I remember that part." She said quietly.
"Then where does your memory stop, Princess? Just so that I have an idea of where to begin." He could feel the anger building, and his fists clenching. This was not going to end well, he could tell. He just hoped that whatever it was he ended up hitting was not alive because it wouldn't be when he got done with it.
"After you put me in your truck. You asked me if my dad's were home, and I said no. Then… everything goes black until the next morning."
"Well then, let's think about this." His words were dripping with sarcasm, and it just made him angrier that he couldn't even rightly yell at her. "You know that I told the truth about not wanting you to be alone, because you would have been if I had dropped you off at your house. Right?" She nodded. "And you know, even though you didn't say anything about it, that I know you talk in your sleep. So you must have been asleep while you were there. Asleep enough to dream anyway. So that part's the truth. What else? Oh, your clothes. Well, you already had your shirt off. I took your shoes off before I put you in my bed." He decided then that he was enough in control of himself to get up and walk to her. Standing in front of her, he realized how tiny she really was, and how much power this little girl had to hurt him. When he saw the tear roll down her face, and saw that he had hurt her, even if all his intentions had been in the right place… he couldn't stand it. He felt his eyes well up with tears, and just then she looked up at him. Her face was so child-like and innocent. She reached up towards his face, and he grabbed her wrist. He couldn't handle her touching him just yet. He had too many emotions right now.
"I've been called a lot of things, Berry, and most of them I deserve. But what you just called me – a rapist – I don't deserve that. Not after saving you from yourself that night." And before that stupid tear could fall, he ran out of the room and slammed the door.
Because Glee practice ran until after school, and he had stayed even a little after for that… thing that just happened, the parking lot was nearly empty. He made it to his truck and even a little ways out of the parking lot before he felt that fucking tear… What had he let himself become if he was crying. Crying! God forbid somebody saw him, because he still was sure that anything he hit, he would destroy. And anyone who saw him was getting hit, no doubt about that.
He made it home, and ignored his mom when she asked him how his day was. He could feel more stupid tears, and if his mom saw him crying the whole thing would come out. Walking out his back door, Puck saw it. The tree. His tree. He had climbed this tree so often when he was younger that he knew the branches and handholds by heart. But he didn't want to climb and look up at the sky. He wanted to get the anger coursing through him out. So he balled up his fist and punched once. Then again. And again. The adrenaline he felt helped calm him down, but he kept punching, crying harder with every blow he landed. Finally he just collapsed on his knees, and cried himself out. He heard his mom come out and stand beside him, and he was grateful in that moment that she always had this knack of when to wait his rages out. So she just stood there until he had calmed down a little. He sat up and leaned back against the tree, noticing some missing bark above his head. His mom sat down opposite him with a white box in her hands.
"Are you okay?" She asked him. He shook his head no, because truthfully, he had never been more fucked up in his life. "You're not. Do you want to talk about it?" Again he shook his head no. Because this… this was not something you discuss with your mom. She opened up the box and looked up to him. "You don't. That's fine. Let me see your hands." Only then did Puck look down at his hands, and see the lack of skin on his knuckles and the blood where the skin should have been.
"I really messed them up this time." His mom poured hydrogen peroxide on them and he hissed when it started to bubble. He tried to flex his hands out of fists and almost screamed. "I think… I think my hand is broken."
"I'm sure at least one of them is. You nearly punched through the tree. Here, let me put this gauze pad on them and we'll go to the E.R." Puck started crying again, and he leaned forward into his mom's shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him, and rocked him back and forth, humming a song that he vaguely recognized. She kissed the top of his head.
"Mom." She pulled back and looked at him, listening. He could only imagine how stupid he looked, tears pouring out of him like a little girl, but he continued, "I don't tell you enough how much I appreciate... Thanks." She nodded, and smiled.
"Come on, let's get you to the hospital. And don't keep moving your hand on the trip. I don't want you to damage it further." He chuckled through his tears. She knew him well.