All Characters © Stephenie Meyer
Chapter 5 - Lost and Found
Bella
"She isn't having any nightmares." Edward came quietly into the room followed by Carlisle and Esme. I was grateful that Renesmee slept the entire way home from Portland; none of us would know what to say to her. The entire time she slept, I just glancing back at her, just waiting for her to break. First the night terror and now this - she wasn't as indestructible as I thought.
"Do you think she did that to herself? In her sleep?" Esme was clutching Carlisle's arm.
The shock of seeing so much blood in the hotel made me feel almost human. I swear I could once again smell the rust that made me dizzy back in my mortal life. "It was too severe. The angle the cut was at would make it impossible for her to reach around and make it that deep, especially while sleeping." I demonstrated on myself, my arm having to be twisted awkwardly in order to mimic her injury.
"And Audrey isn't strong enough to break her skin," Carlisle added. "I'm completely at a loss I'm afraid."
Edward looked over at Jacob. "You know, you should start talking out loud, you do have some interesting theories sometimes."
Jake grumbled something about snooping. "I was thinking that we're going about this too rationally. She thought her dream was real..."
"So?" Jasper and Alice said in tandem as they joined us in the living room.
"So you're the experts on all things supernatural. Is it possible to get hurt in a dream? You all have some crazy powers, don't you?"
We all stood around stunned at Jacob's revelation. Carlisle and Edward were the only ones nodding at the possibility.
"That little menace from Italy-," he was referring to Jane, "-she doesn't really burn your head into a crisp right? It's all mental, but she can still kill you, right?"
Alice squeezed her eyes tightly trying to wrap her head around everything. "Let me get this straight. You're saying that someone is getting into Nessie's dreams and attacking her? That's ludicrous! Someone would be aware of a power like that!"
"Why would they be?" Jake challenged. "Vampires don't sleep."
"I think I need to make a call to Alaska..." Carlisle walked off to his study in a semi-dazed state.
I could tell Audrey was quite bored; Tia and Benjamin had left over the weekend to hunt out of state, something that still made my spine crawl. She wasn't only bored, but concerned for her friend. The rest of the family went to hunt, except for Jacob who sat in Renesmee's room without asking permission this time. None of us stopped him. Audrey couldn't hunt; she got a different toss of genetic pool and was not nearly as strong enough, and her skin wouldn't stand up to any larger animal.
"Why don't you go into our closets and pick out a couple new outfits, Audrey," I suggested.
She grimaced at me. "You know I don't like taking charity from your family."
"Well, that's too bad, because we like giving it. I had to get used to when I became a part of this family."
Audrey couldn't help herself when she saw the huge closets and soon became engrossed in the wardrobe possibilities. It gave me a chance to be a mother again and check in on my daughter. The door was open a crack and Jake had moved the chair that had been in the corner, closer to her bed. I could see the affliction in his body through the dark room, wanting in the worst way to touch her. He turned and looked over at me and I motioned for him to come outside.
"What?" He said in a low voice when he got to the living room and started to pace in front of the wall of windows.
"We need to finish our conversation; the one we started at the party."
"There isn't anything to finish, I'm just stuck," he said with a frown.
"You can't just sit here in limbo feeling sorry for yourself, Jacob."
"What if I ruin it? How can we just move from being practically siblings, to friends, to..." he was going to say lovers, but held his tongue.
"You're breaking her heart, Jake. Edward is a mess over it."
"Well, of course he is. Nay is a daddy's girl."
I shook my head. "Over both of you Jake. I know he seems protective of her, but your torment hurts him just as much. He may not admit it outright, but he does want you two to be together."
"That's a new one for the books," he huffed.
"I'm serious, Jacob."
He began to pace the window again, but every stir from Renesmee's room would freeze him in his tracks. "What will this do to you?"
"I have no idea, but it can't be worse than seeing two of the people I love most in this world in agony."
"I'm afraid."
I was afraid too, but I would never admit it. I loved Jacob, and although it has turned back into the perfect uncomplicated brotherly love that I always wanted, I had no idea what actually seeing them together would do to me. I could tell myself that it wouldn't make an ounce of difference, but I couldn't guarantee that, even after seven years. What I could guarantee is that Jake was no longer in love with me in any other way than being his future mother-in-law. That's so weird!
"I love her." He was now at a whisper.
"Then tell her!"
He shook his head violently. "It's not the right time, not after what she's been going through. She needs her rest. She does," he said, defiantly.
"You're stalling," I pointed out.
He never answered, just got back up and went into my daughter's room, taking his rightful seat by her side. I wished she would wake up and see how he really felt about her, see how the way he was looking at her-like a blind man who saw the sun for the very first time-but this was up to them. The rest of the family had made a pact: no interference.
It was hours later when the rest of the family got back, and yet Jacob was still at Renesmee's bedsid. She had slept through the entire day and into the night so far. Edward for once didn't look annoyed over Jake's presence, and I was hoping him warming up to their inevitable relationship would make it easier for Jake to take the next step.
"Hello, beautiful." Edward came over and kissed me.
"Mmmm," was my only answer. "I do love it when you dazzle me." He had just fed so his eyes were the most brilliant topaz and they seemed even brighter against his dark hair and fair skin. My personal Adonis I always called him.
"I would hope so, it's only been seven years," he said with a smile, followed by a kiss on my forehead. He then rested his chin on my head and sighed. "He's in pain."
I knew immediately he was referring to Jake. "I talked to him about it, Edward, I there isn't anything we can do."
"Silly teenagers," he scoffed, ending the comment with a hmph.
Jake must have heard us because he came into the living room. "Can I crash on the couch tonight? I don't think I'll sleep a wink if I go home."
I was pretty sure Jake would soon enough be moving in with us, the stronger their connection got.
"Take Rose and Emmett's old room," Edward suggested, but Jake turned his face up in distaste. "Don't worry, we got a brand new bed when they left-no residual trace of them will be left over."
That pacified him and he dragged himself up the stairs. I heard him flop down on the bed and within minutes he was snoring. Audrey had already gone to bed, pulling out the sleeper sofa in the library. At least all those who had to sleep were sleeping.
Edward led me to our room and pulled me onto the bed with him. "I'm behaving," he praised himself.
"Yes, you are," I kissed him, "and I'm very proud of you. I do believe though, it isn't as hard for you to see them together as you let on. You want this as much as they do."
He sighed and pulled me into him as I inhaled his sun-honey-and-lilac scent. "Get out of my head," he joked.
"Our daughter will be legally allowed to leave the safety of this house in a few short hours, you know," I murmured.
"Don't remind me," he grumbled in reply.
"We're going to need to set ground rules," I sighed. It wasn't something I was looking forward to. "We can't have her gallivanting around Astoria whenever she wants to."
"We could set a curfew and probably just talk to Jake-she'll follow his example. She listens to him when he speaks, unlike us who I know she sometimes blocks out-or at least pretends to."
"Yeah, that would work."
"I will stand firm on one rule though," Edward voice sounded harsher. "No sleepovers at Jake's place."
I lifted myself up to his face. "That seems reasonable, but it probably won't be necessary until they both get over themselves."
We stopped talking about our daughter's love life then. It was almost impossible to think about anything else with Edward slowly taking off his clothes...
~~~
No one could bring themselves to wake Renesmee up on Monday morning even though her appointment at the DMV was slowly approaching. Jake had left early that morning to change and come back. He had asked permission months ago to take Nessie out on her first ride, and of course I agreed immediately, but Edward took a little more convincing. Jake also let us know he was getting off-road bikes for them, another thing Edward stiffened over, but no fall would hurt her and he knew it.
Frantically, Renesmee finally scurried from her room, anxious and excited about her test.
"Happy belated birthday!" we all yelled.
"I can't believe I slept through my birthday! Where's Audrey?"
"I'm here!" Audrey appeared in the room. "I was about to wake you up, we need to head home."
They hugged and I heard Nessie say under her breath, "I don't know what I'd do without you." I had cursed Audrey's entry into our lives at first, but now I see that she is one of the best things that could have happened.
As we all said our goodbyes to Benjamin, Audrey, and Tia, Jake walked through the door with Nessie's helmet under his arm.
"Ready?"
Nessie rode in the car with Carlisle, who was unfortunately her legal guardian. That was probably one of the things that would always burn me and Edward; we would never really be her parents to anyone but our family. I got to follow on her brand new bike, with Jake bringing up the rear on his. It had been ages since I had ridden, mainly because it was something special I shared with Jake, and I decided a while ago when I first saw things progressing, that I'd take a small step back from our close friendship. I forgot how much different riding was than just driving in a stupid car.
Maybe I could start again...
Luckily for the helmet, jacket, and gloves as we rode through town, my skin that would be crystallizing in the sunlight wasn't visible to the patrons we passed in the streets. Pulling up to the DMV the clouds were already moving in and I could smell the rain drifting our direction. I had differing opinions on my heightened sense of smell. The super amazing eyesight was one thing, but although I basked in the scents of Edward and Nessie, of flowers and rain, I also hated the stinging pain of disinfectant, hairspray, and above all-paint. If I could get nauseous that would do me in every time.
The office was no exception to the horrible smells. The padding on the seats in the waiting area was old and stale. I could smell mildew and mold that was probably hidden within the walls. Good thing we didn't get sick or else I'd probably be carrying around a bottle of hand sanitizer wherever we went.
Jake didn't sit with me and Carlisle. Nessie, who I could tell wanted to talk to him about Saturday night, sat next to him one row away. I busied myself with a magazine and between the talking of customers on their cell phones (even though the sign clearly stated for them to be turned off) and the employees behind the desks explaining tedious directions over and over again, I couldn't really hear their whispers anyway.
"Cullen, Renesmee," said an abrupt voice from the counter. I couldn't even imagine how Nessie was dissecting the woman. She had taken after Alice when it came to criticizing the style of others.
I saw them exchanging papers and caught the woman making reference to the Mercedes she would be taking her test in. None of us had even thought about the envious eyes that would be on a sixteen year old driving a hundred thousand dollar car.
After the paperwork with the woman was done, Renesmee stormed back over to Jake. "How rude!" I heard her say. Before she could continue her rant though, the instructor called her name.
It wasn't a surprise when she returned not too much later, a smile on her face. Even though the woman at the counter was once again rude, she handed Renesmee her freedom finally, causing my daughter's brown eyes to light up. Jake was standing next to me and we both heard the last comment the employee spat at Carlisle. "It is none of my business Dr. Cullen, but for a sixteen year old girl to have access to a motorcycle seems extremely inappropriate and reckless."
Jake put his hand on my arm, knowing that I was beyond fuming at that moment. She was ultimately calling me a poor parent, not Carlisle. But as always Carlisle calmly, yet firmly put her back in her place. "You're right, Tina, it is none of your business."
"Congratulations driver!' Jake hugged Nessie as we walked out the door and handed over her helmet and keys.
I got into the car with Carlisle and waved them off. "See you at home!"
We were quite a way home before either of us spoke. "You seemed to let her go pretty easily," Carlisle said. "I thought I would at least hear a be safe."
Carlisle got a kick out of my maternal instinct, probably because I was still a child myself to him. He may be a perpetual twenty three year old, but he had centuries of knowledge behind those golden eyes. "If you remember correctly, I pulled some idiotic stunts back in the day and at the time I wasn't invincible. I have no room to talk and I'm sure Jake would rat me out if I did."
My explanation entertained him and he laughed a bell-like laugh. "Good point, good point."
The afternoon went by quickly for not having much to do. We had all stay home from school not only because of Nessie's license but because the sun couldn't decide whether or not to stay behind the clouds. I mainly lounged around with Edward, only taking a short break to do some painting. It was odd that I hated the smell of paint, but when I was completely absorbed with my artwork I couldn't smell it at all.
"BELLA!" Alice screamed at the top of her lungs. No one ever screamed in this house which meant it was bad.
Alice was panting, Jasper rubbing her back trying to calm her down. "Carlisle, phone." Sure enough Carlisle's cell phone rang.
"Alice what did you see?" Edward was frantic. She must not have been thinking clearly so he couldn't read her thoughts. My first worry was that the Volturi had made another decision.
"I couldn't see Nessie because-well she was with Jake and I can't see him at all. I can see the absence of her if she's away from him and she is now. She is but she's with another man, but she's getting fainter. Something is wrong. I can't even see where she isn't anymore!"
Panic strangled me and I reached back in a desperate search for Edward's hand.
"That was Chief Mackabee," Carlisle came back in. "They got a call from Jacob, from Renesmee's phone, they found a hiker in trouble and Renesmee went to help him while Jake tried to make a call. The phone went dead but they think they have an idea where they are."
Carlisle wouldn't allow us to track them on foot, not with the entire police force of Astoria out there to see us. Emmett had left his ATV behind and Edward and I both ran to it before saying a word. I saw Alice and Jasper get onto Jasper's bike-the one Edward gave him way back in the days of Forks-and we all sped off hoping to catch scent of one of them or for Alice to have a vision on the way.
We had gone miles with no luck until Jake's wolfy scent stung my noise. Edward smelled it too and veered off in the direction. "Jacob! Nessie!" We all alternated calling out their names, knowing they would be able to hear us over a great distance.
I saw Jake appear out of the woods just as the side road we were on ended. He only looked at us for a second before taking off running; we were supposed to follow him. "Screw this damn machine!" It just wouldn't go fast enough and the terrain he was leading us into was getting impossible to ride on.
"Carlisle?" Edward held a walkie talkie to his mouth. "We're going on foot. If the police call we're about two miles east of the two-oh-two. We left the bikes at the Pipline and Scandinavian intersection."
Carlisle's voice crackled on the other end. "Not too fast, we have to stay under radar."
But this is my daughter! I wanted to scream at him.
It didn't take long before we got there, the search and rescue party was already calling out in the distance.
"Nay!" Jacob was leaning over the cavern. "Renesmee, what did you do? Is that your blood?"
The word almost made me faint, even though I knew I couldn't. I climbed up seeing the wound of her arm slit open, Edward right next to me frozen in anger. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, are you crazy?"
"Yell at me later…" She sounded groggy with blood loss. "He lost consciousness about fifteen minutes ago. His leg is mangled and the gash in his side is pretty deep-I can see muscle. I packed it with his shirt, but it's still bleeding."
"And so are you!" Edward hissed.
I could tell he was going to jump in there himself if the police hadn't shown up when when they did, with Chief Mackabee leading the way. "You Cullen kids sure know these woods!" He looked shocked to see us, and who wouldn't be? They had a half an hour head start and we still beat them there.
Renesmee called up, repeating the man's injuries, and one of the paramedics lowered himself and a backboard down to lift the hiker back up on. The man did look seriously injured, and I could now see the blood sputtering on his lips-internal bleeding. Next they brought Renesmee up. I doubted she could jump back out even if she wanted to with her injured arm.
I grabbed her from the paramedic and embraced her, Edward holding both of us. We probably looked extremely odd to the rest of the onlookers, but I didn't care. This was my baby girl whether they knew it or not. Jake stood to the side looking absolutely sick, his eyes stuck on Renesmee's arm which now covered all of us in blood.
Nessie didn't let us hug her long before she pulled away and fell into Jake's arms, perhaps the first true sign of their opening feelings. "I thought I told you to be careful," he scolded.
"I did this on purpose," she said so none of the humans could hear. "I'm okay." She wasn't though, because when Jake loosened his grip on her she started to wobble back and forth.
And then I saw her fall.
Carlisle met us all at the hospital, insistent on taking over Renesmee's care even though doctors aren't supposed to treat their family. Because of his status in the medical field he usually got what he wanted. It was important that he had full control of her chart, especially when they wanted to give her blood. He had tried to test her blood type when she was born, but although it ran through her body like any other human, the typing always came back inconclusive, probably because of her diet. He promised us that O negative wouldn't hurt her, and wrote down on the chart that that's what she was. The staff also worried at first when she was reading a body temperature of one-oh-four, which was pretty average for her. Of course, we couldn't tell them that.
Charlie, I found out the hiker's name, had been rushed into surgery for both his leg and the internal injuries he sustained in the fall. Carlisle updated us frequently on his status; he was holding stable for now.
Alice couldn't see any future involving Renesmee-or at least anything to do with a future reaction of the family-because Jake refused to leave. He pulled the chair up to the bed and held her hand. A few times I saw him crying. He mumbled apology after apology to the sleeping girl. He told us on the way to the hospital that he wanted to go into the hole, but she convinced him that her medical knowledge would be of more help. He swore he had no idea she would do something so stupid as to open her arm back up.
"She's just like her mother." Edward put his arm around Jake's shoulders trying to comfort him. "Neither of them ever do what we expect of them to. We should just start expecting the opposite of whatever we assume."
It wasn't long before Renesmee came too, the blood helping to revive her. Of course, now my worry, once she opened her eyes, was that they were turning burgundy from the pure human blood being put into her system. That wasn't something we could explain.
"What did I do?" she asked looking a little punch-drunk, taking in the hospital room and a fresh bandage wrapped around her arm.
"Something stupid." Jacob had relief in his voice, but he was still upset. "What did I tell you?"
"Yeah, yeah," she said, and waved him off. "How is Charlie?"
"He's going to be fine." Edward was over at the opposite side of the bed holding her other hand. "Carlisle said you did a fantastic job with stopping the bleeding from his side. He would have bled out otherwise."
"Mmm, that's good. When can I go home?"
Carlisle entered the room silently behind us and closed to door. "As soon as possible," he said before we could answer. My reply would have been never, but I was going to be overruled on that. "The news already has word of this and they're calling Nessie a hero. That's fine, she is, but in her current state," he lifted her chin and inspected her eyes, "she can't be seen by anyone. I've had to change her chart quite a bit. My superiors would have a fit if I took her home with a temperature as high as hers."
Carlisle made us wait until the nurses changed shift before he quickly discharged Nessie. The relief of the departing nurses and the groans of those coming on shift made for good distractions. By the time we had taken her off of the blood transfusion her eyes were a terrifyingly bright red. It made it hard for even me to look at her, but it didn't bother Jake a bit. On the way home she even fell asleep leaning on him.
He carried her inside and into her room when we got back, relief flooding everyone when they walked in. Esme looked like she could have been in tears, and even Rosalie and Emmett who had come from Portland looked unnerved.
"I swear, she is going to give me a heart attack. A completely impossible heart attack." Edward ran his hands through his messed hair.
"You're telling me!" Jake came into the room looking only a little bit better. "And I really can have a heart attack."
Edward went in to watch over her dreams, afraid that another nightmare about the Egyptian or Volturi would really send her over the edge, and the rest of the family dispersed to who knows where. Once again, I was alone with Jacob.
"I'm going to tell her," he said out of the blue.
My eyes brightened. "You are?"
"I don't know who I am without her, Bella, I don't. Until she was out of that damn cave and in my arms I wasn't whole. I was lost in some alternate world, but when I'm with her it's like she pulls me out of it. I can't explain it."
"You don't have to. I know." I pictured my wonderful husband sitting by our daughter's side. I definitely knew.