A/N
As usual all my love to Fr333bird for beta'ing and to Im_not_a_lizard (Rhythm Junkie) for pre-reading.
I don't own the Twilight boys… I wish though…
Picspiration for this chapter: bit(dot)ly/y1e9zG
10. The Road
They keep close to the roads because Jasper thinks it's easier that way. He doesn't mind running through forests and mountains and damp places, but going along the roads make more sense to him. That way they can avoid people, who are closed tightly in the metal cans they call cars, while they walk fast and effortlessly on comfortable side-roads.
Sometimes a car pulls over, driver asking them if they need a lift. But usually no one risks asking two strange men on the road so Jasper and Edward can move without being bothered. They don't talk much, but occasionally Edward huffs, annoyed, when Jasper thinks something about him.
But then the shit happens. Jasper knew it was coming. He thinks he must draw drama and awful things to him because it's impossible to explain it otherwise. Or maybe the world is just a much, much worse place than he thought it was.
They are somewhere deep in Canada now, near Prince George, when a car pulls over next to them. It's dark already and cold, winter in its full strike. It's snowing heavily and the wind makes it even worse. Jasper realizes that for a human they must look lost and not prepared for such weather - just in their jackets, sneakers and jeans.
"Are you all right there boys?" the driver asks through the opened passenger window. He's got a round face with wide lips and strange eyes which look almost colorless. "It's a bit too cold to walk on foot, huh?"
Jasper opens his mouth but Edward beats him.
"We're fine," he answers, smiling without showing his teeth. "Our car's broken down and we're just walking to the nearest town here."
"Well then, pop in boys," the driver invites them. "That's no weather to walk out there."
"We're fine," Jasper answers curtly, but sees that Edward's hesitating.
"It's still more than eighteen miles to the nearest town here, you'll freeze to death. Hop on in," the driver insists.
Jasper really doesn't like the idea, but to his surprise Edward thanks the driver and opens the back door of the truck to get in. Not wanting to leave Edward alone with the man Jasper caves and goes inside too.
The car smells of the man's sweat, cigarettes and old air freshener. A local radio station is playing some cheery commercials. Jasper looks around with curiosity, realizing he's never been in a private car before. He's used buses and trains a bit and he's seen the insides of cabs, but he's never had a chance to ride in one. He gets lost in the movement of the wipers and the snow smashing in spots on the front window.
For a moment they drive in silence, but Jasper can feel Edward tensing up and glances at him warily, wondering if the blood lust is taking over already.
"Mind if I smoke?" the driver breaks the silence, taking a wrinkled packet of cigarettes out of his pocket.
Jasper and Edward shake their heads even though it's probably not visible in the darkness.
"You?" the driver offers, extending his hand with the packet towards the backseat. Edward impulsively reaches for a cigarette before catching himself and saying, "I… ah, I'm trying to quit."
The driver shoves them back in his pocket and asks. "So where were you heading, boys?"
There's something creepy about him, but Jasper can't just put his finger on it. To his astonishment he feels Edward gripping his hand - hard. It's the first time they've touched since their fuck and it distracts Jasper enough that he's not able to answer properly. Once again, Edward beats him to it.
"Prince George," he says. "We're going there to take a job in my cousin's workshop."
"Workshop, huh? Prince George," the man repeats, smiling in an ugly way and Edward's hand is almost crushing the bones of Jasper's hand right now.
What? Jasper asks Edward in his mind, but he doesn't get his answer.
Suddenly Edward is on the front seat, ripping the man's head off with one movement. The car jumps on the road and hits the barrier with its side, the horrible sound of screeching metal invading Jasper's ears.
Edward throws the man's body out of the seat and stops the car. He hasn't gone for the man's blood which scares Jasper even more because he doesn't understand what's just happened.
"What the fuck, Edward?" he screams clutching the backseat, completely at loss for what he should do. Even though he's fed not so long ago the scent of blood in the car makes him hungry and he can't think straight. He can't comprehend why Edward doesn't drink the man's blood and how he is able to resist.
"You wouldn't touch it either." Edward answers his thought through clenched teeth, clearly not breathing while he storms out of the car. Jasper follows him, terrified. Edward's walking back and forth on the side of the road, his sneakers burying deep in the snow with each step. He waves his hands and grips his hair, making it stand up, damp from the snow.
"You've just killed a man," Jasper whispers, still not believing it. "Not because of hunger." He's devastated, crushed; he can't even look at Edward right now. Jasper's killed people before not for feeding – but as a soldier and then on Maria's request. But this is totally different; or at least he believes it's different.
Edward finally turns around to look at Jasper. "You should hear his thoughts, Jasper..."
"What he could possibly be thinking, Edward, to deserve this?" Jasper makes a movement with his hand toward the car.
"You don't want to know…" Edward kneels down in the snow. "I don't want you to see it."
"But I need to understand," Jasper disagrees, thinking there's no way in the world he can just forget about what's just happened.
"He was a psycho, Jasper, all right?" Edward cries out, still clutching his hair. "Killing and raping little girls in most cruel way - in an old workshop… I can't wipe it out of my mind. I still see it!"
It all makes sense to Jasper now. He wonders what he'd do if he saw something like that in someone's mind.
"He could've been imagining it. You don't know…" he says, unsure.
Edward turns to him again, his expression still crazy and scaring Jasper to death. "Oh, believe me, he did all this. These were memories. Not some random thoughts. And he would do it again!"
"You can't play God, Edward," Jasper says, his lips barely parting when he voices it.
"And that coming from you, Jasper," Edward answers bitterly. "After years of what you've been doing. Picking them off like faulty items in a factory!"
They stand by the road, angry with each other, not knowing what to do next. Then Edward makes up his mind, walks toward the car, opens the door and throws the man's body along with his severed head into the snow. He rips the man's jacket and goes back into the car, wiping the blood that was spilled inside. He throws the jacket in the snow, too, and turns to Jasper.
"Get in," he orders. "I'm not walking anywhere in this snow."
"I, uh… I can't drive," Jasper answers, hesitating.
"I'm not asking you to drive. I'm asking you to get in," Edward answers in the manner that people talk to small children sometimes. And Jasper complies, wrinkling his nose when the scent of blood inside overwhelms his senses.
"It'll be a good exercise for us," Edward says coolly, referring to the blood stench, taking his seat behind the wheel. He pushes the gear shift and they go on the road.
This is so strange to Jasper. He's still in shock. It all feels surreal - the humming of the car, the music playing in the radio, the muffled sound of wipers scratching on the window, the snowy road ahead of them lit only by the car lights, snowflakes twirling in the rays of light. Dark forest surrounds them and there's no sight of any town yet. Edward drives fast, probably way too fast for such weather. But it's not like they can be harmed in a car crash, so Jasper doesn't complain; he just looks out of the window, trying to see something between the trees.
"***"
"Left or right?" Edward's question startles Jasper, distracting him from whatever thoughts he was having.
"I don't know. What's the difference?"
"Left is towards the ocean. Right is the mountains," Edward answers curtly.
Jasper feels uneasy at the thought of being too far away from the ocean, where he can find his peace, but he thinks he should fight this too, that maybe it's an exercise as well. So in spite of himself he says, "Right then."
Edward quirks his brow at him, but doesn't comment as he turns right at the crossing.
They drive silently again, hour after hour, stopping only for gas, using up whatever money they had along with the man's funds found in the car.
They abandon the car when the roads become too snowed in to drive. Jasper doesn't want to admit it but he's relieved when he leaves the car. He felt trapped in the small space, surrounded by the owner's items and the scent of his dried blood. He already regrets his decision to go far from the ocean. His fingers twitch and he keeps turning his head west as if in search of his water.
Edward sighs. "You know, if we just go up farther North, we'll reach the sea too. But I'm not sure if it's frozen or something, I wasn't paying much attention in Geography class to be honest. And it must be like minus forty there or more, but I guess that won't be a problem for us as we're already dead, right?"
Jasper nods. He's a bit overwhelmed with all of this. He hasn't even noticed when Edward took over and he doesn't understand why is he letting Edward decide for him, lead him to wherever he's leading him.
"May I remind you that it was your idea to get away from people? Well, I reckon – the colder the place, the less populated it is," Edward answers Jasper's musings.
Jasper can't argue with that reasoning so he follows Edward silently. They move a bit faster now, then start running and somewhere on the way the run becomes a race. They barely touch the snow, jumping on the trees like squirrels, pushing each other of the way playfully, wind whistling in their ears, snow clinging to their clothes, making them shrug like dogs to throw it off.
There's little light during the day so Jasper realizes they must be pretty far up north by now. When he scents the faraway smell of the sea, they stop. There's no civilization around them, only mountains and forests, plains and valleys. The view is the most beautiful one Jasper's ever seen. But he's worried. He can feel Edward's hunger beginning to grow and tries to find the solution. But before he's come up with one, a wolf howls somewhere near them and Edward states, "I'm going to try with the animal thing."
Jasper's so unsure about this, but he bravely goes for it. They run, following the sound of the howl, then the scent of the pack. When they strike the animals run in different directions, panicked. They've no chance in the encounter with the vampires and soon five of them are down. Jasper stops to look at Edward killing the last one and finds out he quite enjoys this view. There is something pure and primal about it as the wolves try to fight back, and there's only a little cloud of fear, but nothing more which would make Jasper feel like he's the death personified coming for the innocent.
When he's done with the wolf Edward jumps to his feet and takes off running again with Jasper following him once more.
"***"
They're both a bit confused when they stop in a meadow in the middle of the forest. It's daylight now the snow's sparkling in the sharp sun. The hunt was unusual and Jasper can feel Edward that can't process it all yet, just like himself. Edward sits down on the snow and starts playing with dried blades of grass sticking out of it, curling and uncurling them in his fingers.
Jasper joins him, sitting next to him with his legs crossed. He looks at Edward, not knowing how to bring the subject up.
"Well, that was…" he finally says but trails off. Then he finishes it with "gross" at the same moment Edward says, "Interesting…"
Edward nods. "But yeah, gross too."
He lies back on the ground, looking up in the sky. The air is clear and smells of snow and fresh wood. Edward tugs on Jasper's sleeve, making him lie next to him. But even though Jasper's already there Edward doesn't let go of the sleeve, instead he moves his hand a bit so it touches Jasper's wrist. These are just soft brushes, but they make Jasper a bit lightheaded. Jasper's fingers twitch and he closes his eyes, focusing on Edward's touch on his skin.
"Do you think we could survive only on animals?" Edward asks and Jasper opens his eyes to look at Edward, who's facing him now, his eyes red, but with strange golden dots that look really beautiful to Jasper.
"Jasper?" Edward urges him to answer and Jasper notices that he must have drifted with his thoughts, admiring the perfect shape of Edward's lips, long, thick eyelashes, almost impossible on a guy, and those liquid amber spots that are really tiny, but mesmerizing to Jasper.
"I, uh… I don't know. We could try. Although they taste and smell like… ugh," Jasper frowns.
"Yeah," Edward agrees, but seems to be distracted too. He reaches with his hand to Jasper's hair, pushing it out of his face. "You know," he says, "Your eyes have little sparks of gold in them."
"Yours too," Jasper smiles and looks up again into Edward's eyes.
The moment is tender, yet intense at the same time and when Edward leans over to kiss him, Jasper freezes, really nervous, not wanting to spoil it with his thoughts and failing already. He doesn't want to disappoint Edward; he wants this kiss so badly, like his whole life depends on it, but he's sure he'll ruin it all.
"Jasper, please, please, try not think. Just for a little while," Edward asks him, gently placing his hand on Jasper's cheek and moving over him to kiss Jasper more.
And so Jasper focuses on the trees above their heads, swinging to the light wind, the scent of dry pine needles and moss, the cracking of branches, the light filtering through the leaves, and then - on Edward trailing his hands over Jasper's body, the light touch of hands undressing him.
He feels a warm tongue and soft lips on his chest, and fingers opening him up. When Edward enters him, Jasper inhales, the scent of the forest making him dizzy. He places his hands on Edward's forearms, closes his eyes and just gets lost in this – in Edward moving inside him, in the warmth building in his stomach and chest, in the heat of Edward's hands on his hips.
He doesn't know when his orgasm comes. He's surprised to see that somewhere in this all Edward must have moved one of his hands between them to stroke him. He notices in astonishment that he's spilled all over his stomach. He's so disconnected from his body that he isn't even sure if he is real. Even the forest seems to be frozen in time, floating in a state of dubious existence.
Jasper looks up to see Edward smiling. It feels to Jasper like he's being enveloped in a warm blanket of Edward's feelings. Edward lies down on him, still deep inside him, and they rest, connected and relaxed while the sounds of the woods slowly slot back into their places, and the time starts flowing again.
Jasper is devastated when Edward finally slips out of him, kisses Jasper's shoulder and then stands up. He feels… betrayed. He doesn't want their life to pick up just yet. Edward leans down, extending his hand to Jasper to help him up. They dress quickly, not looking at each other.
"Let's find a place for us," Edward says, starting to walk.
Jasper follows him silently, thinking about what's just happened and how it'll affect them. He wonders where will they live, and if them living together is such a good idea or if they're going to destroy each other.
"Jasper, I can hear you," Edward snaps.
Jasper stops walking and Edward turns around to look at him.
"This isn't going to work, is it?" Jasper says miserably, hanging his head. "With you hearing my thoughts and me feeling what you feel, there is no way for us to work." He's finally voiced what he's been thinking from the beginning. What's the point of hiding it anyway when Edward knows it already?
Edward looks at him seriously, all traces of smile gone. "No," he finally answers. "I don't think it will work for us."
Jasper is close to tears now. Not that he could actually cry, but he sure feels like crying. Edward sighs and walks back to Jasper, wraps his arm around Jasper's shoulder and kisses his cheek briefly.
"Let's not dwell on this now, okay?" he says. "You never know."
But you don't believe it's possible, Jasper thinks.
"No," Edward admits aloud. "Come on, let's go and find us some shelter for the night."
That remark makes Jasper smile because it reminds him how young Edward still is and how much human he still is. For there isn't any necessity to find shelter for the night when you're a vampire.
Edward chuckles. "Nonetheless it would be nice to have a dry place to stay and a roof over our heads. I don't like the snow so much and it sure feels like it's going to be a snowstorm tonight."
They turn toward the plains in search for a place for them.
A/N
Thank you so much for all the amazing reviews! I love you all! Really!
This story is nominated for the Sunflower Award in "Best Vampire Story". If you'd like to vote for me I'll be here grinning wide :) bit(dot)ly/AtNB0q