Chapter 10: Just in time, the Party sets Forth

Part 1

"Yukinon! Thanks for waiting!"

Just when I had given in to despair, a friendly voice came from behind me. So it wasn't Hiratsuka-sensei. Whew... it seems that the Eternally Absent God has not forsaken me yet. Then again, that was me.

"Hikki! Yahallo!"

Still... what was with this choice of personnel?

"Yuigahama, why are you here?"

If Yuigahama was here, then a lot of my plans have fallen through.

Firstly, if Yuigahama was going to come anyway, then the whole cat video secret message plan to lure out Yukinoshita was meaningless since I could have just called Yuigahama directly! Now wasn't all that effort by Zaimokuza to find cats, make videos, and spam comments completely wasted? Apologize to me and Zaimokuza! Actually just apologize to me!

Secondly, now that the party had three people, escaping by bicycle was no longer an option. No matter how trustworthy of a partner my bicycle had been, and no matter how many years we went back together, it was impossible to fit three people on it.

Lastly... Yuigahama was a creature that acted on emotion rather than logic. Thanks to that, I couldn't get a good read on her behavior. I had two competing theories to explain it, but neither predicted a good outcome. Once she heard my story, she would either get really depressed, or decide to support Hiratsuka-sensei's love.

"Iya... how do I say this... I was watching videos with Yukinon when we saw your message Hikki! It was really surprising, but it looked interesting, so I came along."

They were together again? Does Yuigahama ever go home anymore? It seems like she has already moved in with Yukinoshita. I bet Yuigahama's parents were starting to get worried that she might have been swindled by some womanizing prince, but it was a womanizing queen instead.

Sigh. Even so, I couldn't see any method of separating these two entities that were so melded together. Even at this moment, while I was frantically performing all kinds of mental gymnastics to somehow salvage my schemes, Yukinoshita was currently captured in a Yurigahama-style hug that prevented any and all forms of physical gymnastics.

Well, I guess this means there is no choice. Farewell my bicycle. Although we have been through thick and thin for so many years, you still lack an essential quality that would make you worth saving. Unfortunately for you, no part of Totsuka has ever touched any part of you, so you will not be missed like my phone. Give up and pray that in your next life, you would be reincarnated as one of Totsuka's hand creams. Actually, I call dibs on that next life...

"Hikigaya-kun. Could you wipe that creepy smile off your face and explain the situation?"

Whoops. I almost got pulled into another Totsuka delusion. That was not good, we were already running out of time. After quickly wiping my drool, I immediately turned around and beckoned the other two to follow me as I headed towards a narrow alley.

"I will explain later. We need to leave right now."

I was already starting to hear a distant voice that I hoped was just an auditory hallucination...

"Danna-sama! So this is where you wanted to hold our secret honeymoon?"

...

"Hikki... was that..."

"That sounded like Hiratsuka-sensei..."

"It's just an auditory hallucination! Just hurry!"

Part 2

Haa... haa...

Somehow, we had just barely managed to escape. This tension was really taking its toll on my heart. I was hyperventilating even though we didn't really walk that fast. But it couldn't be helped.

As if going on foot wasn't enough of a handicap, Yukinoshita Yukino was a genius girl who never had to work hard at sports, and thus never developed any stamina. So we could only walk briskly away from the scene. Our survival was completely based on my high stealth parameter.

Leaning against the wall of the dark alley we were currently in, I examined my new recruits while attempting to calm my breathing.

One. A normally ditsy and air-headed girl, this fluffy pink-haired and pink-hearted creature was looking strangely serious for once. She was fidgeting a lot, looking somewhat uncomfortable with our current location. As her eyes darted back and forth between me, Yukinoshita, and the alley exits, I turned my attention to the other recruit.

A normally deadly serious and deadly cold girl, this black-haired and black-hearted ojou-sama was somehow looking even more serious, more cold, and much deadlier than normal. Unlike Yuigahama, who was continuing to fidget and blush, Yukinoshita had taken a combat pose and was not moving an inch.

"Hikigaya-kun. If you were planning to make a move on us by bringing us to this deserted alley, I should warn you in advance that I will be unable to guarantee your survival when I retaliate in self-defense."

"You're mistaken!" Just how many times would I have to tell this chick that I wasn't that into her?!

"That denial is not very convincing while you're breathing heavily like a pervert, Hentaigaya-kun. Perhaps I should strike first to ensure my safety?"

Scary! Why were all the girls around me so violent? Was my life a fighting manga or something? So the reason I was unpopular was because I didn't know any martial arts?

"Ah! Ah! Yukinon! Stop! I'm sure Hikki is just tired out from a long day! So don't punch him!"

"Well... if Yuigahama says so..."

Whew... luckily Yuigahama was here to control Yukinoshita's murderous rampage. Then again we wouldn't be in this situation if Yuigahama hadn't tagged along.

"Anyway, isn't it about time you explained the situation?"